The Bibliotherapists

By Toni Jones & Tanya LynchSociety & Culture Arts Books

The Bibliotherapists episodes

January 12, 2024 Millie Gooch: Booze messes with your mental health
In this episode Toni is joined by Millie Gooch, 32, who gave up alcohol almost 6 years ago after years of partying and hangovers started taking a toll on her mental health.
Millie founded the The Sober Girl Society later the same year (2018), and she is the author of The Sober Girl Society Handbook, as well as a mental health ambassador and currently a student - again - studying addiction and mental health.

In this episode we discuss:
- How Millie started The Sober Girl Society because it was something she needed when she first stopped drinking (and her friends didn’t)
- The depression and anxiety that led to her going sober
- Direct and indirect effects of alcohol
- The chemical effects of alcohol on the brain and the lack of education and understanding around this
- How who we are and how we behave when we’re drunk often doesn't align with who we ultimately want to be
- Owning your decision to go sober (your friends will smell any fear!)
- Dating as a sober person
- Disco as a sober person
- Detoxing our social media feeds at the same time as detoxing our bodies
- How Millie's life is still filled with a lot of party and a lot of fun without the booze

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

The Sober Girl Handbook by Millie Gooch
The Sober Girl Society website
@sobergirlsociety on Instagram
@milliegooch on Instagram

Drink by Professor David Nutt (book)
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (book)
The Sober Lush by Amanda Eyre Ward (book)
They Think It’s All Sober (podcast)

⁠Join the (free) Shelf Help Club community over on our Shelf Help Club App⁠
@shelfhelp.club on Instagram
shelfhelp.club website

INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999
SAMARITANS – 116 123
SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit shelfhelpclub.substack.com/subscribe
25 min
January 05, 2024Ruby Warrington: Do the inner work and ask yourself: how much do I value getting drunk?
In this episode Toni reconnects with fellow journalist, Ruby Warrington. Ruby is also an author, publisher and podcast host who coined the term Sober Curious in 2016 to describe the process of self-inquiry that comes as a result of getting curious about why we drink and what life might look like on the other side.

This conversation is a brilliant reminder of all that we have to GAIN by removing alcohol; mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In this episode we discuss:

- Ruby’s 10-year sobriety journey from ‘cocktail girl’ to the queen of the sober curious movement

- How a Dry Jan in 2013 was a turning point for her drinking

- How she used booze as a way to medicate difficult emotions and situations, including family dysfunction and social anxiety (and why being able to feel crap is so important)

- That the only thing we miss out on by not drinking is getting drunk (and the importance of asking ourselves why we feel that getting out of our head is valuable or necessary)

- How removing booze will give you more time, energy, self-awareness, clarity and self-trust, as well as better physical well-being, better sleep AND the best support system for deeper inner work and self-discovery

- How to use Dry Jan - or any sober stint - as an opportunity to investigate what really makes you happy (and the importance of writing this down)

- How to ride out cravings with sophisticated AF drinks

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington

Sober Curious Reset by Ruby Warrington

Sober Curious Podcast by Ruby Warrington

Material Girl, Mystical World by Ruby Warrington

INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999

SAMARITANS – 116 123

SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit shelfhelpclub.substack.com/subscribe
31 min
January 05, 2024Shahroo Izadi: Make choices you'll be proud of tomorrow, not just happy with today.
In this episode Toni is joined by one of her favourite authors - and humans - Shahroo Izadi. Shahroo is a Behavioural Change Specialist and the author of two best-selling books, The Kindness Method and The Last Diet.

Shahroo isn’t sober, but her work is all about helping people to create healthy new habits using kindness and self-compassion - and that includes supporting people to change their relationship with alcohol.

Toni chose The Kindness Method, as a Shelf Help BOTM (book of the moment) back in 2018 after it had a huge impact on her, helping her to make some major shifts in a once self-destructive lifestyle.

In this episode we discuss:

- Why sober stints are a great way to build self-belief

- Why shaming yourself into change doesn't work in the long-term

- The self-respect and self-trust that come when you start building evidence that you care about how you behave, even when nobody's watching

- How to set yourself up for success by anticipating that change is hard and getting excited about the opportunity to prove that you can do hard things

- Remembering that lots of the benefits of not drinking take a couple of weeks to kick in, so to give yourself some early wins by making a choice (or two) today that will make you proud tomorrow

- Turning down the volume on the way you speak to yourself as a way to avoid the F@CK IT button

- Remembering sobriety is a practice, and mastering it - like mastering anything - is chiefly about time in the saddle and doing something again and again until it becomes easier

- Making it easy to do the hard thing and supporting Dry Jan by making the month as lovely and nourishing as possible in every other way

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS

The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi

The Last Diet by Shahroo Izadi

Shahroo's website www.shahrooizadi.co.uk

Shahroo on Instagram @shahroo_izadi

INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999

SAMARITANS – 116 123

SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit shelfhelpclub.substack.com/subscribe
32 min
January 05, 2024Bryony Gordon: It's hard getting sober, but not as hard as the alternative.
For the first episode of this series, Toni is joined by Bryony Gordon, journalist, best-selling author, podcaster, award-winning mental health campaigner, and founder of Mental Health Mates, the brilliant nationwide network of support groups that encourages people to get moving and talking.

Bryony is also 6 years sober.

In this episode we discuss:

- The moment Bryony decided to get sober, and how - after much resistance! - accepting the label of 'alcoholic' enabled her to get the help she needed and move forward

- Why there's no such thing as a typical alcoholic OR a typical journey to sobriety

- The question to ask yourself if Dry January or any kind of sober stint feels/is impossible

- Booze for fun vs booze to numb

- How Bryony is working on her health and happiness today, and how getting sober has taught her she doesn't need to be constantly producing and achieving or to be the 'best' at anything to be worthy

- Why talking about addiction is the best way to move through any shame we feel around it

- Why she believes telling people to drink a highly addictive, legal drug 'responsibly' is bullsh!t

**NB there are a couple of swearwords in this episode - in case of little or sensitive ears**

PODCAST NOTES + LINKS:

Glorious Rock Bottom by Bryony Gordon

Mental Health Mates

⁠Join the (free) Shelf Help Club community over on the Shelf Help Club App⁠

INCASE OF EMERGENCY - PLEASE CALL 999

SAMARITANS – 116 123

SHOUT CRISIS SUPPORT - TEXT SHOUT TO 85258

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit shelfhelpclub.substack.com/subscribe
37 min
January 04, 2024 The Sober Sessions (extended) Trailer
The Sober Sessions is a brand new POP-UP PODCAST from The Shelf Help Club, here to support anyone looking to change how they drink in 2024.
Whether you’re keen to complete a sober stint, to try teetotalling on for size, or maybe you’re just curious about what life could look like without mystery bruises, surprise Uber bills and hangxiety, these conversations are here to offer guidance and inspiration to help you unpack your relationship with booze.
We'll be sharing 12, 30-minute episodes, featuring authors, experts, coaches, influencers and industry insiders in the sober space, each sharing their own stories and insights and providing practical advice as we explore the highs and lows of an alcohol-free life.
Launches 5th January, with THREE new episodes dropping every Friday in January.
Search for it wherever you get your podcasts and hit the subscribe button now to make sure you never miss an episode...
2 min
February 10, 2022Books of their Lives #5 - Jo Love, author of Therapy is...Magic
Our guest today is Jo Love, a mental health advocate, doodler, trainee psychotherapist and now author.
Jo’s first book Therapy is… Magic is an essential guide to the ups and downs and life-changing experiences of talking therapy. Part memoir and part 'how-to' guide it's a handbook on what to expect when you decide to seek out a therapist, based on Jo's own 18+ years experience of seeing mental health professionals.
IN THIS EPISODE:
Why ’slow Mondays’ are the best way to start the week

How it feels to share about mental health - and mental illness - online and in a book

Why therapy is hard, awkward and ongoing as well as 'magic' (and just one tool for managing mental well-being)

Why Jo is so nervous about her mum reading the book

Why mental health - like physical health - is something that needs to be maintained as a lifelong process

Why the wrong experience doesn’t mean that therapy is not right for you

How trauma (small 't') stays in our body and why we need to release it

How Trauma (capital 'T') can be baked into our DNA
-
BOOKS REFERENCED:
Therapy is…Magic by Jo Love > https://amzn.to/3uBi8X3
On Becoming A Person by Carl Rogers > https://amzn.to/3HIXzeL
Find Your True Voice: Stop Listening to Your Inner Critic, Heal Your Trauma and Live a Life Full of Joy by Emmy Brunner > https://amzn.to/3oG3WZ3
A Manual for Being Human by Dr Sophie Mort > https://amzn.to/3HFxGws
Rise of the Girl: & Empowering Conversations to Have with Your Daughter by Jo Wimble-Groves > https://amzn.to/3HFw3Pt
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Phillipa Perry > https://amzn.to/3LzowEi
The Body Keeps The Score by Dr Bessel van Der Kolk > https://amzn.to/3GHUyu1
Depression in a Digital Age by Fiona Thomas > https://amzn.to/3oCBZRI
It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn > https://amzn.to/34u1gXm
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott > https://amzn.to/3oFEvql
-
SHOW NOTES // FIND OUT MORE ABOUT JO:
website > www.jolove.co.uk
instagram > @jo__love__
41 min
January 27, 2022Books of their Lives #4 - Shelly Tygielski, @mindfulskatergirl and author of Sit Down to Rise Up
Our guest today is Shelly Tygielski, a trauma-informed mindfulness teacher, self-care activist, and the founder of the global grassroots mutual aid organisation Pandemic of Love.
Shelly describes herself as 'a person who shows up for the cause'. If she believes in it, she goes for it, and helps others to do the same, and her new book - Sit Down to Rise Up: How Radical Self-care Can Change the World - is a guide to how we can create profound social change in our outer world by going inwards.
IN THIS EPISODE:
The self-care tools Shelly uses to support herself as an activist, teacher, parent and leader of movements - as well as how she put them to the test when her book launch didn't go to plan

How she’s taking meditation off the cushion and into the real world (and why clearing your mind is NOT actually the purpose of meditation)

The definition of a self-care activist - and why we all need to take care of ourselves so we can show up and make a difference

The superficialness of the industrial wellness complex

Shelly's daily intention-setting ritual

Using nature as a reminder to be grateful

The importance of formalising a self-care plan - including how to identify any obstacles and then (very important) how to share it with a community

The radical roots of self-care in the women’s and civil rights movements

Her long-standing belief in the goodness of humanity

The challenge of staying (and writing!) positive in a pandemic

The self-care and mutual aid communities that have been started as a result of this book and Shelly's work
-
BOOKS REFERENCED:
Sit Down To Rise Up by Shelly Tygielski > https://amzn.to/3KKFleW
Pleasure Activism by Adrienne Maree Brown > https://amzn.to/3AzYSds
Angela Davis - An Autobiography > https://amzn.to/3KOGj9Z
The Catcher In The Rye by J D Salinger https://amzn.to/34cN70i
Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabit-Zinn > https://amzn.to/3u3KNDK
Faith by Sharon Salzburg > https://amzn.to/3rTM5yn
The Collected Stories of Ernest Hemingway > https://amzn.to/3ADTWnC
Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver > https://amzn.to/3rYM8Jc
The Norton Anthology of Short Stories > https://amzn.to/3IKzIeK
-
SHOW NOTES // FIND OUT MORE ABOUT SHELLY:
website > shellytygielski.com and pandemicoflove.com
instagram > @mindfulskatergirl
43 min
January 06, 2022Books of their Lives #3 - Akeem Haynes
Our guest today is Akeem Haynes, athlete, author, motivational speaker and podcast host who, after overcoming various stages of homelessness to win an Olympic medal, now specialises in promoting resilience and inspiring people to find the good in whatever obstacles, setbacks or opposition they may be facing.
Akeem’s message is that hope can always be found if you know where to look and this, as well as so many of the other practices we discuss in this conversation - including challenging and changing our perspectives and 24-7 gratitude - are traits we can all cultivate if we want to head into a new year with a positive mindset.
And we love the fact that instead of making more resolutions at this time of year, Akeem chooses to look back at what didn’t get done last year and focuses on that.
Be More Akeem shall be our mantra for 2022.
IN THIS EPISODE:
Why we are what we read, watch, do and eat

Why a person's purpose is ‘a way to serve that is authentic to themselves and their gifts'

Why self-perspective is better than self-help

How autobiographies inspire us because they remind us that super successful people weren’t always at the top

Why none of us know how strong we can be until we're tested, and that the more challenges we face the more we will develop

We Akeem favours monthly resolutions over sweeping New Year’s changes

Why he always buys two copies of important books

Why we all need ice cream, massage and a hot shower

Why gratitude isn’t just a cute statement, it's a way of life

Why your scars don’t need to dictate your future
BOOKS REFERENCED:
Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat > https://amzn.to/3GgPgXb

Bundini: Don’t Believe the Hype by Todd D. Snyder > https://amzn.to/3HKkBBR

The Bible (Akeem's 'roadmap for life’ > https://amzn.to/3n2mRwe

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi > https://amzn.to/3n0so6q

Harry Potter > https://amzn.to/3zv1rNp

The Life We Bury by Allen Eskens > https://amzn.to/3EUkGks

Undisputed Truth by Mike Tyson > https://amzn.to/3mWxLnh

Left To Tell by Immaculee Ilibagiza > https://amzn.to/333iVnQ

The Book of Joy by Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu > https://amzn.to/3G2DmzW
SHOW NOTES // FIND OUT MORE ABOUT AKEEM:
website > https://www.instagram.com/underdogakh/
instagram > https://akeeminspires.com/
podcast: Unscripted with Akeem Haynes > https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unscripted-with-akeem-haynes/id1493147257 -
39 min
December 20, 2021Books of their Lives #2 - Jessica Huie MBE, author of Purpose
Our guest today is Jessica Huie MBE, an entrepreneur, coach, founder of the Purpose Academy and Author of the Hay House best-seller PURPOSE, Find Your Truth and Embrace Your Calling. In a previous life Jessica enjoyed a glittering career as a journalist and publicist, and has worked with some of the world’s biggest stars and business people. This month she is celebrating the re-release of her book with five extra chapters charting her leap of faith as she emigrated to Jamaica in the summer of 2020.

IN THIS PODCAST:
Diversity in the self-help space

Discovering spirituality and rediscovering/cultivating creativity

How we all need to take responsibility for looking inwards

The power of storytelling over preaching as a way to impart knowledge and help make personal and societal change

The importance of movement for healing and health

The importance of mentors (and how they can come in many forms)

BOOKS REFERENCED:
1. Purpose (new edition) by Jessica Huie > https://amzn.to/3sB73nZ
2. Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch > https://amzn.to/3FqpyyE
3. The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield > https://amzn.to/3FqpyyE
4. The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron > https://amzn.to/3E7mLco
5. The Good Ally by Nova Reid > https://amzn.to/3yKBzgb
6. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery > https://amzn.to/3EbJPH6
7. Reclaiming the African Goddess: A Spiritual Guide to Healing Black Trauma by Yema Njolela > https://amzn.to/3J7kcuq

SHOW NOTES // FIND OUT MORE ABOUT JESSICA:
website > https://www.jessicahuie.com
instagram > https://www.instagram.com/jessica_huie_
more about The Purpose Retreat (Jan 2022) > https://www.jessicahuie.com/events-2/the-purpose-retreat-jamaica-2021/
31 min
December 09, 2021Books of their Lives #1 - Brita Fernandez Schmidt, author of Fears to Fierce
Our guest today - and the first on the Books of their Lives series - is Brita Fernandez Schmidt, a woman who wants us all to know that we are so much more than our job titles, but to give a *little* bit of context we’ll share that she’s an activist, a coach, author of Fears to Fierce: A Woman’s Guide to Owning Her Power and an advocate and promoter of women’s power, women’s rights and equality, most recently as Executive Director of Women for Women International (2008-2021).
IN THIS PODCAST:
How we all carry wounds but we also all have the power to heal them (and which books help)

Why we shouldn’t aim to be fearless

Why self-help is self-care

Why ‘being without becoming' is Brita’s new mantra - and how you can get there too

Why we are not our job titles and why achieving loving acceptance for ourselves is so tough in a high powered job

Why Brita is moving away from her Executive roles to training in collective healing and holding space as a coach
BOOKS REFERENCED:
Fears to Fierce by Brita Fernandez Schmidt > https://amzn.to/3GtE7BT

Sensuous Knowledge by Minna Salami > https://amzn.to/3y8VWTV

An Unspoken Voice by Peter Levine > https://amzn.to/3lOFOlv

Healing Collective Trauma by Thomas Hübl > https://amzn.to/3Gr0PKU

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman > https://amzn.to/3IDgo3S

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers > https://amzn.to/3rQGRVG

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz > https://amzn.to/31A3GCF

From Girl to Goddess by Valerie Estelle Frankel > https://amzn.to/30ddK3G

Stronger by Poorna Bell > https://amzn.to/3DyGAsU

How to do the Work by Dr Nicole LePera > https://amzn.to/3IDgQPC

The Genius Myth by Michael Meade > https://amzn.to/3rMZqdy
SHOW NOTES // OTHER REFERENCES:
Mooji meditation - Seeing without eyes: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=475708760313871
https://mooji.tv/freemedia/
Women for Women International > https://womenforwomen.org.uk/
FIND OUT MORE ABOUT BRITA:
website > https://www.britafs.com/

Step Into Your Power group coaching programme (starts Jan 2022) > https://www.britafs.com/step-into-your-power
39 min