A recent study showed that if you have a good friend at work, you are much more likely to be satisfied with your job. How would you describe your work relationships? Do you just tolerate those coworkers, or would you count at least some of them as good friends? Your answer to those questions could have a lot to do with how you feel about your job.

I want to talk about what you can do to work well with others, to make those working relationships more pleasant, indeed to form some close friendships where you work. Often the workplace brings out the worst in people, but as ambassadors for Jesus Christ, the workplace is our opportunity to shine as lights in a dark place, and even to change the atmosphere by learning how to work well with others. One person can make a difference, you know, so why shouldn’t that one person be you?

Here is suggestion number one for working well with others at work: Don’t play the blame game. Shifting the blame for any situation is a big no-no. I’m not suggesting you take blame for something that was not your responsibility, but don’t alienate coworkers by pointing fingers, especially in a meeting or where multiple people are present.

The biblical principle for solving issues between two people is very straight-forward: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses” (Matthew 18:15-16).

Often problems must be addressed and those responsible must be identified and corrected. But the way you go about this will make all the difference in whether or not you truly help someone to correct a problem or just make a problem worse. It’s really smart to always confront privately, one-on-one, after you have had time to think it through, form your words, control your anger, and make sure you’re speaking truth in love—meaning you’re doing this for the good of the other person, not just to ventilate your frustration. You definitely could win a person over this way.

And then remember, pick your fights. There are some hills that simply aren’t worth dying on, so be willing to let some things go.

We continue in the book of Ruth, where you notice that the consequences of Elimelech’s poor decision spilled over to his wife and his sons, who suffered greatly because they were in Moab instead of in Bethlehem, the Promised Land. When we decide to go out on our own and “do our own thing,” the consequences will spill over to others. You may be living with consequences of decisions made by others that spilled over to your life and caused you harm.

So, what can you do to make sure that the destiny decisions you make in the future are good ones, part of God’s plan for your life? Here are some suggestions:

Make good daily decisions.

Don’t overlook the importance of what we might call “small choices, minor decisions.” Those choices we consider small add up, and they impact our lives more than we would think.

For example, we choose each day whether we will spend quality time in God’s Word, in prayer, and in spiritual disciplines, like memorizing Scripture. If you make the wrong choice to skip that time one day, it may not have any serious short-term consequences. But if you keep making that small wrong choice day after day, it will soon add up to a choice with significant negative consequences in your life.

Your everyday life is made up of little choices:

Do I buy those shoes, even though they are not in my budget?

Do I skip church today because I’m a little tired?

Do I take time to call a friend who is hurting?

Do I share my faith with a co-worker when I have an opportunity?

Do I eat that chocolate cheesecake which I don’t need?

Now, one day of poor choices may not take you down the wrong road, but repeated days of poor everyday choices will affect your health, your finances, your spiritual growth—you name it. Making good decisions at these daily crossroads of life requires discipline. In Proverbs 5 we see the lament of a person who refused discipline.

At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. You will say, “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!” (Proverbs 5:11-12).

Your everyday decisions that may look small one at a time can add up to be quite momentous.

Choose carefully the people who influence your life.

Proverbs 13:20: Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

You may choose to allow a relationship to begin in your life, which you know will not be good for you, but you think it’s no big deal and you can handle it. However, that small choice opens the door for that relationship to develop and it could eventually drag you down and cause you lots of heartache.

Take time to “stand at the crossroads and look.”

When you’re facing a destiny decision, remember this passage from Jeremiah 6:16:

This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Every time you’re faced with a choice, if you could see the end from the beginning, you would make much better choices. Often the reason we miss the right way is because we don’t stand at the crossroads and look.

Instead, we go with our emotions, with our feelings, with our gut, with our momentary desires. How many Christians have stood at that marriage crossroads and made a choice to marry a person who was not God’s choice? They didn’t ask what this marriage would be like down the road.

I was talking recently with a young woman who married a Muslim man, even though she is a Christian. He is a good man, but she knows it was not the right choice. I asked her why she made that choice, and she said, “I was blinded by being in love.” She didn’t stand at that crossroad and look for the ancient path,...

I’ve been focusing on the importance of the choices we make—our every day choices about small things and the larger ones that make a difference in the direction of our lives. This passage from Jeremiah gives some good advice about making choices:

This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it’” (Jeremiah 6:16).

Jeremiah is warning us against making decisions too quickly and making them without seeking God’s guidance. He says stand and look; think of what this decision will look like down the road. Don’t be deceived by the momentary glamor or attractiveness of this choice; what is it going to look like in a week, a month, a year—eternity? Then he advises us to look for the good way, the ancient path. That means take time to pray about it, seek godly advice if needed, ask God where the good way is. Often it’s not the way you may be intending to go.

Interesting that in that day the people refused to choose the good way. They just said, “Nope, not going to go that way. I’m going my own way.” I can think of choices I’ve made where, in a real sense, I said the same thing—going to do it my way. And without exception, those choices were harmful; I didn’t find rest for my soul

Could that be where you are at this point in your life? You’re facing a decision—a choice—and you just want what you want and you want it now, so you’re not asking for the good way, the ancient path that will lead you to soul rest. If so, I strongly urge you to stand at this crossroad in your life—this decision you are facing—and seek God’s way and then walk in it. You’ll never regret that choice.

Or maybe you’re living with the consequences of choosing your way instead of God’s way. Let me encourage you to know that God hasn’t given up on you. He always has a plan to prosper you and help you, taking you where you are, even as you are living with those consequences, and making a way for you that leads to soul rest, to a renewed relationship with God through Jesus. It’s never too late to stand at the crossroads and choose the good way, the ancient path.

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Have you noticed that the Bible doesn’t spare telling us the whole story? We can learn from some of the people in the Bible who made some dreadful choices.

David comes to mind, this man after God’s own heart. But his choice to call for Bathsheba, commit adultery, have her husband killed—all of those sordid details are in the Bible. I wonder how often David thought about the consequences of that terribly bad choice he made. He paid a very heavy price personally for that choice, and yet God still loved him and used him.

On the other hand, think of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—those three young Jewish men taken captive to Babylon. They were commanded to worship the pagan statue that King Nebuchadnezzar made or be thrown in the fiery furnace. They had a choice to make. I love how they responded to the King:

“King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:16b-18).

Just as these men chose to take that strong stand for their God, it’s possible that you will have to face some similar choices. You may be facing some fiery furnaces even now: instructions from your company that are not compatible with your faith; disrespect from family members or friends who condemn you for not going along with the culture; rejection from people who think you are weird because you stand strong for your biblical convictions. Will you choose, as these three men did, that you will not serve other gods? You will not give in to the pressure to abandon your beliefs, knowing as they did that you may indeed have to live with the consequences of your choice? Are you determined by God’s grace to take the “even if he does not” stand for Jesus?

This passage from Proverbs 8 gives some good advice about making choices:

Proverbs 8:10 - 11

Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

Choosing the instruction of wisdom over riches is both biblical and smart. According to this proverb, nothing you desire can compare with acquiring wisdom. Are you focused and intentional about learning to be wise? And how do you choose the instruction of wisdom?

Well, another proverb says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm” (Proverbs 13:20). So, you choose to closely associate with wise people; you are careful who you allow to influence you, who you listen to. As Christ-followers, we don’t isolate ourselves from the world, but it is extremely important who we “walk with,” making sure our instructors are biblically wise.

Another proverb says, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6). And, of course, God’s wisdom—the words from his mouth—are given to us in the Scriptures and through prayer. In fact, James writes: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5).

Have you ever taken that promise seriously? I remember some years ago when I had to make a rather quick decision about an important matter, and afterwards I remember thinking, Wow, can’t believe I made such a good decision. Then the Holy Spirit quietly reminded me that I had been consistently praying for wisdom and God answered my prayers. The Lord gave me wisdom—and continues to when I intentionally look for wisdom in his word and pray for wisdom.

Becoming wise is a choice you make. It takes some discipline and effort, but it is one of the smartest disciplines you will ever incorporate into your life. Choosing wisdom keeps you from much regret and heartache.

Can you think of some choices you’ve made—maybe even recently—that you would like to do-over? Choices have consequences, that’s for sure, so I want to remind you of some biblical principles about choices.

This one from Joshua is no doubt the most important choice we make:

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

Joshua puts it to the people of Israel that they have a choice as to who they will serve, the Lord God or some false pagan god. That was a default choice. If they don’t choose to serve the Lord God, they will by default serve a false god. One or the other.

We have default choices, too. Failing to make one choice means you are choosing another choice by default. If you have made a choice to be a Christ-follower, to serve the Lord, then that means you are choosing not to serve other gods, gods of your own making, gods of our culture. Jesus made it clear that we cannot serve God and money—or other things that can crawl up on the throne of our heart.

Joshua began by saying “if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you” because sometimes it may seem “undesirable”—not easy. For example, serving the Lord on your job could require taking a stand that isn’t politically correct, which could have unpleasant consequences for you and your career. So, you have to decide in advance that serving the Lord is desirable—is your choice. Joshua took that stand—"we will serve the Lord,” he said.

In our culture today, I believe we as Christ-followers will need to decide in advance—make a determination and commitment in our minds and hearts—that we choose to serve the Lord. We choose to stand true to God’s Word. That is the most important choice you and I will ever make. Like Joshua, we should make that a firm decision in our minds, and a choice we reinforce and re-commit regularly. Can you say, “I choose to serve the Lord—no matter what”?

How many choices do you think you make in a normal day? You probably would never guess 35,000 choices a day, but various sources estimate that an adult makes 35,000 remotely conscious decisions each day. This sounds a bit absurd to me and I’m guessing it does to you as well, but when you think about all the choices you consciously and subconsciously make, you realize it’s a lot more than you might guess.

You have been given a free-will to make a multitude of choices in life about:

what to eat

what to wear

what to purchase

what you believe

what jobs and career choices you will pursue

who to spend your time with

who you will date and marry

what you say and how you say it

Not to mention all the choices you make for others—as a parent or a manager or a spouse! The list could go on and on, and each choice carries its own consequences—some good, some bad, some neutral. This ability to choose is an incredible power that we have each been given by God and our challenge as Christ-followers is to be sure we are choosing according to biblical principles.

Our choices pile up on each other over our lifetime, and if you get into the habit of making poor choices, that can take you to outcomes you really don’t want. But the good news is, you can establish good habits of making good choices and that means your life can go in a much better direction.

Some things to consider about your approach to making choices:

Watch out for impulsive choices. They are often based on emotions or lack of adequate information and end up not so good.

Watch out for procrastination—putting off choices that need to be made now. Procrastination is a deadly bad habit that needs to be purged and forsaken.

Watch out for making choices to please other people, or choices just because they are popular. Those choices are often not in agreement with biblical principles.

Your approach to how you make choices—big and small—is the first important thing to consider because a good approach will lead to good outcomes.

I want to point out what the Bible teaches us about making choices, and we’ll look at some people in the Bible who make really good choices and others who didn’t. It seems like a good thing to consider as we begin this New Year.

What are destiny decisions?

Destiny decisions are those decisions we have made or we are yet to make which changed or will change our destinies. They are choices and decisions we make that take us to a different destiny, and most often we don’t even recognize how impactful that destiny decision was until we look back in retrospect.

No doubt you can think of some “destiny decisions” you’ve made in your life that, in retrospect, you see that they changed the destiny of your life. And no doubt you’d like to do some of those decisions over!

New beginnings has an appeal for us, does it not? Just the idea of starting all over again, making better choices, taking a different path, avoiding the mistakes we made, wiping out the past. It just sounds good.

Or maybe we’d just like something new and exciting in our lives. Something to liven things up and put a little “jazz” in our lives.

During the restless years of my life, when I was wandering far from God, I was always looking for something new to perk me up. My first choice was a man, but if no man was around, then some new clothes or a new adventure—go somewhere for fun. I changed jobs three times because I was restless and was looking for something new to make life more interesting, more exciting.

I remember that Saturday nights were particularly difficult for me. I never wanted to sit home on a Saturday night. I mean, if you were sitting home alone on a Saturday night, something must be wrong with you—that’s what I thought. So I always made plans for Saturday night, looking for something or someone who would fill my life with interest or excitement.

Sometimes people look for changes in their lives to get out of a bad situation. They’re in a job they don’t like, so they look for a new one. They’re married to a person who doesn’t suit them, so they have affairs or get divorced. How many people do you know who have made terrible decisions because they simply wanted to get out of a bad situation?

True, sometimes we need to get out of some situations we’re in, but if we move in haste or without God’s guidance, then we can make the wrong decision and choose the wrong road.

The Bible tells us of people who made poor destiny decisions. People like Eve and Esau, Sarah and Judas.

Case Study: Elimelech

There is another story in the Bible of a man who was looking for a change. His name was Elimelech, and he was a citizen of Bethlehem, somewhere between 1200 and 1300 B.C., in one of the most tumultuous times in Israel's long, troubled history.

Ruth 1:1 – 2: In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab.The man’s name was Elimelek, his wife’s name was Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Kilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem, Judah. And they went to Moab and lived there.

Elimelech made a destiny decision: He took his wife, Naomi, and their two sons, and moved from Israel to Moab, a neighboring nation. I'm sure he must have given it much thought and decided that a geographical change was exactly what they needed in order to survive. He had what would appear to be a good reason. There was a great famine in his land and he was having difficulty feeding his family.

It would seem a good plan to human logic. Yet when Elimelech left the borders of the Promised Land, he left the protection and provision God had promised to his people.

On Our Own Terms

What Elimelech did is one of those things we are all sometimes inclined to do under the stress of circumstances; we are tempted to step outside of God's promise and seek solutions to our problems on our own terms. The Bible says,

I complete this series on words of wisdom for the workplace with:

We should always strive to bring out the best in others, not the worst.

Often we can bring out the best in others by giving deserved compliments or recognition—focusing on the positive in them rather than the negative. So often others will improve their performance or their attitude if someone just gives them a little recognition or praise. You can bring out the best in others by commending them when you can.

In Proverbs 15:30 we see that a cheerful look brings joy to the heart. You can bring out the best in others by something as simple as a smile.

Proverbs 12:18 says, “…reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” And Proverbs 15:1a tells us that, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” It's easy to see that the words we speak can either bring out the worst or the best in people.

If you respond to someone with sharp and uncaring words, in a rushed or hasty manner, it can easily cause them to respond in a poor way. But by choosing your words carefully, it's amazing how you can change that other person and bring out the best in them.

When you're dealing with someone who is angry or upset, your goal should be to bring out the best in that person. You can do that by being empathetic and sympathetic: "I'm so sorry you've had a problem.”   Or "I can certainly understand how you feel.” You can help to calm someone down by controlling the tone of your voice, keeping it calm and kind. You can bring out the best in an angry person sometimes by simply listening and caring about the problem. Those are little things that bring out the best in people.

Don't you think we could impact our worlds for Jesus Christ if we more and more became people who bring out the best in others? Ask God to make you that kind of Christian.

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Change is the one thing you can always count on, they say. And yet change is one of the most difficult things for us to accept. I’ve been giving you words of wisdom for the workplace, daily nuggets from God’s Word to remind you of his principles as you face various situations at work.

And one of those situations is change! A. W. Tozer wrote: "We rest in Thee without fear or doubt and face our tomorrows without anxiety.” Do you face your tomorrows without fear or anxiety? I find that the great majority of us live in fear of change: What will I do if this happens? What will happen to me if that happens? Where will I go if this doesn't work out? Who will be there for me if he or she leaves me? How can I learn to cope with these changes in my lifestyle or my job routine?

One of the greatest attributes of our Mighty God is that he never changes. Change happens when things improve or when they decay. But God has no need for improvement, and he cannot be less that what he is already. Therefore, he has no need of change and he's promised us that he never will. Oh, what comfort and peace this should bring to our hearts, as we live in this world where change is the only thing you can count on.

It was when I was facing a very uncertain future, with many changes ahead, that I learned the joy and comfort of trusting in a God who never changes. My first reaction was to go into panic mode, but after spending time with God, I started clinging to the promise that he will never change. As I have faced more changes in my life, I am more confident than ever before that my days are written in God's book and nothing is out of control. One thing that can never change is God's love and his presence in your life, and as long as you can be certain of that, you can accept the other changes you may face.

Dear friend, if you're facing some changes today, some unknown paths ahead of you, be confident of this: Your God will never change, and he has promised never to leave you or forsake you. Constantly remind yourself that he's the same yesterday, today and forever. Whatever changes come your way, they cannot destroy you because he is your refuge and strength, and that will always be true no matter what happens.