The Bible teaches us to speak the truth in love, but that’s not always easy to do, is it? Fran finds herself counseling a woman she has just met at their church’s women’s retreat. This woman, Cynthia, seemed very troubled, and as Fran talked privately with her, she confessed that she has been having an affair with a married man.

Finally Cynthia looks at Fran and says, “But I think I may be pregnant with his baby.” It feels as though the floor has dropped out from under her as Fran thinks how to respond.

“Keep sticking with the truth, Fran,” Jesus whispers to her. “This doesn’t change the advice you gave her.”

Fran puts her arm around Cynthia and holds her for a minute. Then she says, “Cynthia, this may seem cruel, but the fact that you may be pregnant doesn’t change your course of action. He is a married man and there is no possibility that he will marry you, so you must break this relationship once and for all.”

“But,” Cynthia says, “I think if he knows I’m pregnant, he might divorce his wife and marry me.”

“Cynthia, that would be heaping one bad decision on top of another,” Fran says with emphasis. “Do he and his wife have children?”

“Yes, two boys,” Cynthia adds, “but they don’t have a good marriage.”

“Oh, Cynthia, you can’t go there. Even suggesting that he break up another marriage to marry you—that is wrong and you’ll never forgive yourself if you do that,” Fran advises.

“But it’s his baby and he got me pregnant. . . if I am pregnant,” Cynthia adds.

“Wait a minute Cynthia, what about the role you played in this affair?” Fran asks. “Did he rape you?”

“No,” Cynthia replies quietly.

“You were a willing participant, Cynthia. You’ve got to take responsibility and refuse to make more wrong decisions and choices,” Fran tells her. “It’s time you did the right thing and make the best you can out of this mess. Besides, you don’t even know for sure that you’re pregnant.”

“No, I’m afraid to find out,” Cynthia says. “What will I do with a baby?”

“There are several good alternatives, and I promise we’ll help you, if you’ll just do the right thing,” Fran says.

Do you think Fran is giving Cynthia good advice?

Have you ever felt like God led you to someone just at a moment when they had a great need for a friend and a counselor?

“How did you know something was wrong?” Cynthia asks Fran through her sobs.

“Just the look on your face, I guess, Cynthia,” Fran replies. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, I don’t want to but. . .” Cynthia hesitates. “I think I’m going to burst if I don’t talk to somebody.”

“Well, I promise you I will keep this conversation confidential, if that helps,” Fran says.

“Yes, well, it does. It just seems funny talking about this to a complete stranger,” Cynthia says.

“But you know,” Fran assures her, “I don’t think it was an accident that God put it in my heart to talk to you.”

“Yeah, I guess so. And in some ways it’s easier to talk to a stranger about it. You see, I. . . I. . .I’ve been having an affair with a married man. . .” Cynthia’s words come out slowly with great pain.

“Umm, I see,” Fran replies, without alarm. “Are you continuing that affair now?” she asks.

“Well, I keep telling him that I’m not going to see him anymore, but as soon as he calls, I give in,” Cynthia answers. “You see, my husband left me with two kids five years ago and I guess I’m just so lonely. . .”

“Cynthia, do you want me to talk with you straight?” Fran asks.

“Yes,” Cynthia says, “I guess I need some straight talk.”

“Well, then, the first thing you have to do is absolutely sever this relationship, immediately, finally, forever, with no further contact of any kind. Whatever it takes to keep him from contacting you, that is what you have to do,” Fran advises. “Are you willing to do that?”

Cynthia is silent. Fran wonders if she was too strong, too hard on her. But she hears the voice of Jesus: “Don’t say anything, Fran. You’ve given her biblical advice that is right, so let her think about it. Don’t back off.”

For many years now I’ve been telling this story of a workplace woman named Fran, who is forced back into the job market when her husband is suddenly killed. With two young children, Fran has faced many struggles as a single working mom, but through it all she is learning to practice the presence of Jesus. And that is the purpose of these stories—to encourage all of us to be continually aware of the presence of our Lord, because when we’re born from above, he is with us always.

This is a busy week for Fran because her church is sponsoring a weekend retreat for the women, and she’s in charge of registration. Drew and Alice are staying with her folks while she is away, and on Friday afternoon she leaves work a little early to take the kids over and get them settled. Then she meets some friends at the church, where they carpool to the camp grounds, about 30 miles out of the city.

Friday evening is a fun time, and Fran is well prepared to welcome the women and help them get settled. Over 150 have registered to come, and the fellowship is really wonderful.

Saturday morning they have a general session with great music and a wonderful speaker who talks about putting our past behind us. Afterwards they form small groups to discuss the topic. Fran begins the discussion by saying, “You know, even though it’s been six years since Jim was killed, I still find myself living in the past and dreaming of the way my life used to be.”

Her friend, Andrea, joins in. “I know; it just seems so hard sometimes to let go of the past, whether it’s the good past or the bad past.”

The conversation continues, but Fran notices that one woman in the group is very quiet. Her name is Cynthia; she’s new to Fran, and she just seems to be miserable. As the group breaks up, Fran makes a point to walk with Cynthia and start a conversation.

“We’re so glad you joined us for our retreat. Is this your first time?” Fran asks.

“Yes,” replies Cynthia, but says nothing more.

Not knowing what to say, Fran finally asks, “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help you?”

At this, Cynthia covers her face with her hands and tries to control her sobs. Fran guides her to a secluded place where they can talk privately. Somehow Fran senses that God has ordained this meeting, but she wonders what in the world could be upsetting Cynthia so much.

Do you know what is probably the most difficult command of God's for me to obey? It's "Stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes!" (1 Samuel 12:16). Come on, Lord; why "stand still"?   Why not "Get busy and do this and that and then you'll see the great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes"? That would be so much easier for me.

As I mentioned, I don't like standing still. I hate standing still. I love movement. I love busyness. I love activity. I love to-do lists. Let's go; let's do; let's make things happen. You can do it. Just keep trying. Keep on keepin' on. Those words are music to my ears, but not "stand still.”

Why is it so hard for us to take our hands off and let God run the show? Well, to answer that question for myself, I would say it's hard for me to stand still because I'm a controller. I want to be in charge. That's my personality and I'm much more comfortable when I'm running things than when I'm having to take orders. My guess is you may be the same way.

I'd rather drive than be a passenger; I'd rather give a presentation than listen to one; I'd rather lead than follow. So, I constantly struggle to take control of any situation I'm in. Therefore, "stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes" is hard for me to do.

When you dig a little deeper under that personality trait, you discover that the need to control indicates you think you can do it better than anybody else and you don't trust others as much as you do yourself. Ouch! There's a lot of pride and sinfulness tucked in that controlling spirit, isn't there? That's hard to take, but it's part of the truth we have to face about ourselves.

At one point in my life when I was going through a particularly difficult period of "standing still," I would get frustrated and start to take action. And each time, as I would start taking the controls back in my own hands, I would hear the quiet voice of God in my mind saying to me, quite simply, "Can't you trust me?”

That's what it takes to stand still—it takes trust. And when you and I are willing to take our hands off, give up the control, and stand still, we are saying to Jesus, "I trust you. You're smarter than me. You can run this show better than I can.”  And when we stand still and demonstrate our faith in him, he is pleased.

Another reason standing still is hard for me is that I'm just not a patient person. I want things to happen now. I hate waiting. My mind tells me, "If you're standing still, nothing is happening.” But God's Word says, "Stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.”

I think one reason I am not a patient person is because I hate loose ends. I want to complete the loop and make sure every package has a neat bow on it before moving on. But so often life is full of loose ends, and we have to stand still and let them be.

Paul wrote that patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit, one of the evidences that God's Spirit is in control of your life. Well, I can sure tell you that when I am patient, it is not me, it is God's Spirit in me, because I'm no good at being patient. But I’ve learned to pray a lot about being patient, and believe it or not, I am more patient today than I used to be. God is helping me learn how to stand still and let him do it!

Here are some little secrets that are helping me learn how to stand still. When you are emotional about any situation, it is not the time to act. Stand still until your emotions have calmed down and you can be certain that you're thinking straight. Just today I dashed off an email to tell someone how to do something more effectively—or so I thought—but thankfully before I hit the send button, God’s Spirit just urged me not to send it. So, for once I didn’t let the emotional reaction of the moment...

Let’s review how Christians are like pumpkins:

First, God picks us from the patches of life, brings us into his family, and cleans us up.

Then he digs inside of us and scoops out all the yucky stuff that is clogging us up.

He gets rid of the seeds of anger and rage and malice—and all those other things which have kept us on bondage for too long.

Then he puts a new look on our face, a new song in our heart, and puts his light inside us to shine through us for all the world to see.

This simple presentation can be very effective for children or adults. Just get a pumpkin and as you clean it up and scoop it out and put a smiling face on it with a candle inside, you can explain how in the same way God does this for us who have become his children through faith in Jesus Christ.

I have found that any kind of visual presentation along with a message increases its effectiveness many times. We remember what we see far longer than what we hear. So, I’m always looking for creative ways to make a message memorable and practical.

Let me remind us once again of how God has transformed us from the dirty pumpkins we were, taken us out of our sinful pumpkin patches and made us new creations in Christ. Psalm 30:11-12 expresses this so well: You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.

(Click here to download the devotional for the entire week.)

Since we’re in the season of using pumpkins for food and decorations, I thought I’d point out how we Christians are somewhat like those pumpkins. First, God has to pick us from the “pumpkin patches” of our lives, clean us up, and then scoop out all the yucky stuff inside. We covered how the seeds that grow inside of us have to be truly cleaned out.

One of the favorite things to do with pumpkins at this harvest time is to make jack-o-lanterns. After scooping out all the yucky stuff from inside, then we carve a smiling face and put a candle inside to light it up. And the process is similar with how God changes us when we allow him to clean out all the yucky stuff inside.

He carves a new smiling face and puts his light inside of us to shine for all the world to see.

One of my favorite passages is Psalm 40:2-3: He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. With a new song to sing and a smile on your face, you truly become a light in your world, as Jesus intended when he said: You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden (Matthew 5:14).

Proverbs 15:13 says, A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. And again in verse 30: Light in a messenger’s eyes brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.

Do you carry a cheerful look and a happy face into your world each day? I’m not talking about a phony smile or pretending that everything is right. But I am talking about allowing God’s light inside of you to shine through you regardless of the circumstances. Anyone can look cheerful when everything is going right, but when life is tough, that’s when the smiling face really makes a difference.

Did you know that when you smile, you get those endorphins going inside you and that can actually change the way you feel. And sometimes the smile comes first and the joy comes later, so, it’s a very good discipline to just remember to smile more and let the light of Christ shine through you.

Have you ever cleaned out a pumpkin? At this time of year, we enjoy pumpkin pies and muffins and other delicious pumpkin dishes. But before we can use that pumpkin, we must clean it out on the inside, right?

God picks us from the patch, washes off the dirt of sin, and then he has to clean us up on the inside.

He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.

The Christian life is a process that begins at that moment that Jesus picks us out of the patch and cleans us up. Then begins the process of transforming us into the likeness of Jesus. This is a process that continues throughout all our earthly days. Sometimes that process can be painful, as we are confronted with the mess on the inside of us, the yucky stuff that is clogging us up.

Just as there are lots of seeds inside a pumpkin that have to be removed, so in our hearts there are many seeds that need to be cleaned out. Paul wrote to the Colossians: You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (Colossians 3:7-8). And again he wrote: Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God (2 Corinthians 7:1).

What seeds are still clogging up inside of you, contaminating your body and spirit? Years ago, I wrote this verse in my prayer journal, and I began to pray that God will help me clean up whatever it is that is contaminating my body and my spirit. And God has faithfully pointed many of those seeds out to me and given the grace and power to start cleaning them out.

Paul named some of these seeds that have to be cleaned out: Anger and rage must be scooped out of your heart. You know, when you allow anger to remain, it will quickly turn into bitterness, which is a deadly heart contamination. It will ruin your spirit and your physical body.

Malice and slander are seeds that we cannot afford to keep around. Regardless of how others treat you, you must not allow malice to reside in your heart toward them. It sours on you quickly and makes you miserable.

Scooping out the yucky stuff may not be pleasant, but it produces the peaceable fruit of righteousness, and that is very worthwhile and very wonderful.

Christians are like pumpkins! This season when pumpkins are ripe and we use them for all kinds of delicious dishes, as well as decorations, it’s interesting to see how we are like those pumpkins.

For example, pumpkins first must be picked from the patch, brought in and cleaned up. And when we are born from above and made new creations in Christ, he chooses us from our dirty pumpkin patches, and brings us into his family, and cleanses us from the sin and dirt of this world.

It is true that we never want to dwell on our past and live in regret. What God has forgiven and we have forsaken should no longer keep us in bondage. But it is also true that we need to remember where we were before Christ brought us in from our pumpkin patch. A. W. Tozer has written:

“The only sure defense against self-righteousness is to cultivate a quiet state of continual penitence. A sweet but sobering memory of our past guilt and a knowledge of our present imperfections are not incompatible with the joy of the Lord; and they are of inestimable aid in resisting the enemy.”

Remember your pumpkin patch today—the place you were before Christ picked you up and brought you in. Remember, and give thanks that he has redeemed you from that life and given you new life and hope for a bright future.

Because we’ve been given new life in Christ, our demeanor and our attitudes should be joyful, don’t you think? You may be in a place you don’t particularly want to be in, a job you’re not crazy about, dealing with people you’re not fond of. But you have a wonderful opportunity, right in that spot, to be a witness for Jesus simply by being a joyful, positive person. After all, you’ve been saved from the pumpkin patch and you have every reason to rejoice. So, today, wherever God has you now planted, make a commitment to rejoice all day long as you remember that you’ve been rescued from the pumpkin patch and made new in Christ.

It’s pumpkin time again! At this time of year we see lots of those delicious pumpkins, some for eating, some for decorating. But did you ever think of this: Christians are like pumpkins! Now wait, that’s not an insult. Let me explain.

First of all, we’re like pumpkins because:

God picks us from the patch, brings us in, and washes all the dirt off of us.

For those who have been born from above, our salvation began when God picked us out of the patch. Jesus said in John 15:16: You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. And Paul reminds us in Ephesians 1:4: For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.

I never cease to be amazed at this truth, that God chose me. He picked me out of that dirty pumpkin patch of life and brought me into the fold of his care, made me his child and called me by name.

But you know, a pumpkin is of little use until you get it cleaned up. I don’t know if you’ve ever picked a pumpkin or seen one right out of the pumpkin patch, but they are really dirty. They lie on the ground for many days and collect all kinds of dirt and mud, so when you bring them in, the first thing you have to do is get them cleaned up.

And that’s the first thing God does for us when he chooses us from the dirty patch we were in. We read in 1 Corinthians 6:11: And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

And again in Titus 3:4-5: But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we have done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

We come from different “pumpkin patches,” with different kinds of dirt on us, but all of us had to be cleaned up by Jesus, didn’t we? Think of what you were before Jesus brought you in from the patch. Think of where you would be without him.

I've noticed that a lot of people I meet and talk with are truly handicapped over the missing pieces in their lives. Whatever it is that is not there in their life's puzzle, they have become obsessed with it, it controls their thought life, and it keeps them from enjoying or appreciating the good things they do have. What about you? Would that be true of you?

I remember talking with a friend who had been married quite a few years, and had always wanted children, but she had not been able to have her own. That's a painful missing piece, and she was sharing the pain with me. But even though she recognized that an important piece was missing, she hastened to add: "But, Mary, I have so much to be thankful for. My life is still full and meaningful," and she began to recite the good things—the pieces that are not missing from her life.

I said to her, "Do you realize how unusual you are? While you acknowledge that a key piece is missing from your life, and is likely to always be missing, you are focused on what is not missing.” I can tell you that she never moaned and groaned about this missing piece. While she felt sorrow and pain over it, she accepted that no one has everything, and life is full of missing pieces.

Have the missing pieces of your life become so overwhelming that you cannot see or appreciate what you do have? For ten years I allowed what I thought was a major missing piece in my life to control me. I felt that I had to be married for life to be complete, so I was consumed with pursuing and finding the right person to marry. I've shared my testimony many times before of how that obsession with finding the missing piece led me away from the Lord, away from biblical principles, into a life that was self-focused and sinful.

What I've come to learn—and am still learning—is that instead of being controlled by the missing pieces, I can be thankful for them. If that sounds a little "too good to be true," let me assure you that I don't live on another planet and I have the same feelings and emotions and struggles as everyone else. And I emphasize that I am learning this principle of being thankful for the missing pieces. But as I've started to grasp this truth, I've found such freedom and contentment.

I'd like to share a poem with you, which really helped me start down this road of being thankful for the missing pieces. I first read it several years ago, and I re-read it quite often; I have it written in my prayer book as a reminder of this important biblical principle, to be thankful for the missing pieces. The poem uses old-fashioned words, but the truth is still very relevant:

An easy thing, O power Divine,

To thank Thee for these gifts of Thine!

For summer's sunshine, winter's snow,

For hearts that kindle, thoughts that glow;

But when shall I attain to this:

To thank Thee for the things I miss?

 

For all young fancy's early gleams,

The dreamed-of joys that still are dreams,

Hopes unfulfilled, and pleasures known

Through others' fortunes, not my own,

And blessings seen that are not given,

And ne'er will be - this side of heaven.

 

Had I, too, shared the joys I see,

Would there have been a heaven for me?

Could I have felt Thy presence near

Had I possessed what I held dear?

My deepest fortune, highest bliss,

Have grown, perchance, from things I miss.

 

Sometimes there comes an hour of calm;

Grief turns to blessing, pain to balm;

A Power that works above my will

Still leads me onward, upward still;

And then my heart attains to this: