Like many other people, I spent many years "doing my own thing,” as we say, not obedient to God's voice in my life. Though God in his graciousness has turned those ashes into beauty, how I wish I had not wasted those precious years which are gone forever. As I look back with God's perspective on that time, I now recognize that the underlying problem in those ten years was that I was afraid to trust God with control of my life. Actually, fearful of allowing the God of the universe to run my show. I shake my head now and wonder how I could have been so stupid for so long.
And I look around me and see many other Christians doing the same thing. Many of you undoubtedly are hanging on to the controls of your lives, afraid to trust God, as if to say that you know what's better for you than God does, and you are more trustworthy than he is.
I'd like to try to help you see why you are afraid to trust God, in hopes that you too will let go of your own misguided thinking which is leading you toward disaster. And that you will come to know the joy and peace of a God-controlled life.
My particular fear of trusting God began when, as a single adult, I decided that the only thing that could make me happy was to find the perfect man to marry, and that the worst thing in the world would be to remain single forever. That, of course, was my first mistake. The worst thing in the world for a Christian is to be out of fellowship with God and to live a life of disobedience. But my thinking was being shaped by the culture and my own stubborn desires, not by God's principles.
So, for almost ten years I retained control of my life and all my decisions. Then, through various events that God caused or allowed in my life, I finally came to the end of my rope. I remember well the sleepless night when I finally said, "God, I'll do anything you ask of me, if only you will give me peace. I'll even be single forever.” Hesitatingly I finally exercised a little bit of faith and told God I was willing to trust him. It was obvious that he couldn't possibly do a worse job of running my life than I was doing!
That little bit of weak faith on my part was the beginning of learning to trust God. Through weeks and months of pain, as I watched my hopes and dreams die, he replaced those broken dreams with himself. And in the intervening years, I have learned to trust him more and more, and know the joy and peace of his fellowship. And I testify to you today that God is trustworthy. Furthermore, he's infinitely better at running my life than I was! And interestingly, after more than forty years of singleness—and coming to be totally content with my singleness—God had another surprise for me and a few years ago I was married to a wonderful godly man.
With hindsight, I now ask myself why I did not trust him sooner. And the answer that comes back is that I did not really understand who God is, and therefore how trustworthy he is. Though I had been taught the basics of Christianity from my earliest days and had graduated from a Christian college, the knowledge of God had somehow not gone from my head to my heart.
I want to share with you the three basic truths about God that changed my life, as I began to really understand them. They are simple beyond belief. Undoubtedly, most of you will nod your head in agreement as you hear them. But if you truly believe them, your life has to change, and those fears of trusting God have to go.
Learning to trust God begins by reminding ourselves of his character and power, and then asking ourselves if we really believe God is who he says he is. Here are just a few verses that describe the nature of God:
Isaiah 44:6-8 (NASB) tells us our God is the only God. "Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: 'I am the first and the last, and there is no other God besides Me.