One of the most wonderful gifts we can have in our lives is the gift of a true and trusted friend, one who loves at all times, who laughs when we laugh and cries when we cry, who speaks the...

Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:10: "If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” There have been many times when I've fallen down and needed a friend to help me back up, how about you?

If I'm a good friend, I'm going to be doing everything I can to help someone who has stumbled and failed. Failures are so painful, and when we've really made a fool out of ourselves, in big or small ways, we just want to quit and hide. But a good friend will come along and say, "Here, let me help you. You can get up again. Sure, you've fallen but it's not the end of the road. I've fallen myself plenty of times. Let me help you keep going."

Good friends don't lay condemnation or criticism or guilt on others; rather they pour healing ointments on the hurting places. I'm not saying that we ignore sin or give approval to what we know is wrong in another's life. But when that person has fallen and they're having trouble getting up, the last thing they need is to be told how terrible their fall was. They know that. They need a friend to help them up.

I spent ten years walking away from the Lord—ten long years doing my own thing and living a selfish, sinful life. But when I came back to the Lord, there were many who were there to help me up. Particularly I think of my close friends, Fran and Dick, who had been my friends through those awful years and had watched me stumble and fall. But never once did they remind me of the failures; they were just there to help me get up and put the past behind me, and to move on with the Lord.

Who is it in your life right now that needs that kind of helping hand? Who has failed badly? Have you told them, "I'm here for you; this is not fatal; God can restore you.” If you know someone like that, will you be a good friend today and help them up?

Maybe you've just fallen down and no one is coming along to help you up. Can I be that friend to you today, to encourage you to know that you just can't mess things up so badly that God can't restore you.

Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:10: “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” There have been many times when I’ve fallen down and...

Has a friend ever wounded you for your own good? In Proverbs 27:6 we read: "Wounds from a friend can be trusted...” That sounds strange, doesn't it? A good friend wouldn't wound us, would they?

Yes indeed, there are times when the best thing a friend can do for you is to wound you. A friend was telling me of a woman in her Bible study who was complaining that God didn't seem very close to her anymore. She didn't know what was wrong, but somehow she just couldn't pray like she used to. She kept talking in these vague generalities, and my friend, Nancy, kept probing with questions.

"Why does God seem far away? What has happened to cause you to stop praying?” As a good friend, Nancy probed with love and gentleness, until finally this woman confessed that there was an area in her life where she was being disobedient to God. The next day she called Nancy and said, "Thank you for not letting me get by with my weak excuses and forcing me to face myself. I didn't like it at the time, but I needed to get that out in the open."

Nancy was a wonderful friend to her. She wounded her, gently and with great love and concern, but in so doing she forced her to get things right with the Lord and restore fellowship with him. You see, Nancy knew, as I do, that usually when we're talking vaguely about not being close to God, there is some specific underlying reason for it, which we don't want to confront. But until it is confronted, we just keep drifting along, fooling ourselves and losing ground spiritually.

Now, you have to earn your right to be a friend who wounds. We can do great damage to a friendship if we do this kind of thing in the wrong way at the wrong time. But I have friends who certainly have earned their right to be a friend who wounds, who hold me accountable, who don't let me get by with shallowness or excuses. How I thank God for those friends. Those are wounds that can be trusted.

So, when God gives you the kind of friend who holds you accountable and gives trustworthy wounds, don't be angry or upset, but thank God for that friend. That is a gift from God to you, and while that wound may temporarily hurt, in the end it is for your good.

Has a friend ever wounded you for your own good? In Proverbs 27:6 we read: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted…” That sounds strange, doesn’t it? A good friend wouldn’t wound us, would they? Yes indeed, there are times...

How can you be a better friend? Friendships are so critical in our lives; I can't imagine how I'd make it without my friends, can you? But it's important that we make certain we're the kind of friend we should be.

In Romans 12:15-16a, we have some important instructions on being a good friend: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another."

When was the last time you cried with a friend? You know, when someone's hurting, you don't have to have answers to be able to help them. Just be there and cry with them. Often we make the mistake of trying to talk to our friends who are in pain, trying to come up with answers and words that will help them. They don't need words; they know Romans 8:28. What they need is a friend who says, "I'm so sorry," and who just simply cries and hurts with them.

And when was the last time you rejoiced with a friend who had some good news? I think that may be harder for us to do than weeping with our friends. For example, a single person whose friend just became engaged, may find that old monster, jealousy, starts creeping in and may find it difficult to really rejoice with the friend who is getting married. Or if you've been hoping for a raise, you may find it difficult to rejoice with a friend who just got one.

A good friend throws parties for others; gives showers for new babies and weddings; takes a friend out to celebrate a promotion; writes notes of congratulations when a friend has some success. Are you that kind of friend?

In that 16th verse of Romans 12, Paul says very simply "Live in harmony with one another.” In Hebrews 12:14 we read: "Make every effort to live in peace...” A good friend is one who promotes harmony and peace. A peacemaker is blessed, Jesus said (Matthew 5:9). Are you the kind of friend who settles arguments, forgets wrongs done, and overlooks the little things that often cause tension and harm to friendships? That's what we should be for our friends.

How can you be a better friend? Friendships are so critical in our lives; I can’t imagine how I’d make it without my friends, can you? But it’s important that we make certain we’re the kind of friend we should...

What is required of us in our friendships and how can we improve those friendships?

I'm sure you'll agree that your friendships are a most important part of your life. Can you imagine not having a friend to talk to, someone you're comfortable with, someone who cares about you, someone to do things with and pray with? Ecclesiastes 4:12 says "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves...." and God has given us friends for encouragement and help—to keep us from being overpowered

Proverbs has many instructions for being a good friend. Probably the most famous one is Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” A good friend is loyal and is there for you when things are tough. Have you been that kind of friend?"

“At all times" doesn't leave much wiggle room, does it? It includes those times when a friend may not be giving you what you need in the relationship. Maybe a friend hasn't been willing to listen to you or help you, or has been too absorbed in his or her own problems to think about yours. But if you're the friend you should be, you will love "at all times"—even when it is not reciprocated.

I know that's not easy to do, but the love of God in us can give us the ability to love a friend at all times, even when the support we offer, the listening ear we supply, is not given back to us in return. "At all times" includes the middle of the night, or in the midst of a busy schedule. When was the last time you were willingly inconvenienced for the sake of a friend? And can you remember a time when a friend did that for you? It helps so much to know you have that kind of friend.

This verse says a friend is born for adversity. In other words, we are put in other people's lives in order to help them endure adversity. So, check up on yourself and ask God to show you how you can be a better friend.

What is required of us in our friendships and how can we improve those friendships? I’m sure you’ll agree that your friendships are a most important part of your life. Can you imagine not having a friend to talk to,...

Do you have people in your life that you really don't like? Maybe you work with some of them. How can we love people we don’t really like? And yes, even Christians have people in their lives they do not like. I know of no scriptural directive which commands us to like everyone. But I know many verses that tell us to love other people. Here are just a few:

1 John 4:21: “And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”

1 John 4:8: "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Jesus said: “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them…But love your enemies…” (Luke 6:32 & 35a).

Leviticus 19:18b: "But love your neighbor as yourself."

In fact, Jesus said there are two great and primary commandments and simply put, they are: Love God and love people. In fact, Jesus said that all the commandments hang on these two commandments—they are foundational to our faith.

Easy to say—right? Love God, love people—but when you run into unlikable people, you feel like you've hit the spiritual brick wall. Since we cannot like them, we usually conclude that we cannot love them either. Isn’t it true that we just naturally think you have to like someone before you can love them? Like is the first step—the beginning of love. So how can you love someone you don't like?

Part of the problem is that love has different definitions and we sometimes get them confused. In the Bible we find three types of love in the original language. The first is Philos, which is the love we have toward friends, family and others in our lives. Philos love is what Paul describes in Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Then there is Eros love, which is a more physical form of love. It’s the kind of love shared between a husband and wife, hopefully accompanied by Philos love as well.

Then there is Agape love, which is the unconditional love that God has for you and me. Nothing you do can change how God loves you. Ephesians 2:4-5 describes this Agape love:

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

This is love which loves because its own inherent nature is to love. That's why the Bible says, "God is love.” Love is his nature.

The kind of love that we need in order to love people we don't like is agape love. Now, agape love is not a feeling. We can love with agape love whether the feelings are present or absent, whether they are good or bad, whether this love is reciprocated or not. It is not a feeling.

Agape love is an action. That’s how it's always described in scripture. The Bible tells us that we know that God loves us because he sent his Son into the world to redeem us. We know that Jesus loves us because he gave his life for us. The Bible says, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man give his life for a friend.” And God says that he will know that we love him if we keep his commandments.

God's kind of love is an action, not a feeling. Now, that really is good news, because it means that we can love people toward whom we do not necessarily have good feelings. You can love people toward whom you have no feelings at all. Since love is an action, you can obey God's command to love everyone.

First Corinthians 13 is a good place to look for a practical description of love. A few of these are:

Patience: When you act with patience toward someone, you are loving them. Keep in mind that love is not a feeling, so we don't have to feel patient. Can you remember acting with patience even when you did not feel patient? That is agape love.