The Cinebytes

Greetings from Halsingland! Are you ready for the festivities to begin??

Now that the weather has FINALLY turned and the sun is back, we decided to sit down to talk about Ari Aster's second feature film, MIDSOMMAR (2019), and it sure is a beautiful movie! So brightly lit, so warm, so refreshing. So many pretty colors like the flowers in Dani's May Queen gown, the yellow of the sacred temple, the blush of Christian's special COCKtail, the bright red of the blood eagle...

Yeah, you read all that right. Might wanna take a deep breath for this one...things aren't always as they seem.

So get your plane ticket, don't tell your girlfriend about it, and join us is Sweden! I hear there will be milk maids.

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

Hey kids, who's ready for a pool party???

We've got Freddy manning the grill this week as we dig into part 2 of the Nightmare on Elm Street Franchise!

Deemed one of the "gayest films ever" (rude), we think for as much hate as this movie gets, it's STILL near the top end of installments in this series, with great body horror, hilarious moments (intentional or otherwise), and sure, some very gay subtext, but screw you 80's, what's wrong with that??

Come grab a beer out of our wagon, toss on your trunks and join us in "the cabana!"

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

Well, hey there, gorgeous! We sure do love a movie with substance here at The Cinebytes, don't you?

Get ready to get gross (physically and emotionally) in this VERY feminist-minded film from a couple years ago that people are still talking about today - The Substance (2024)!

We had both seen this previously, and we STILL weren't prepared to dive into all this movie has to offer. Emotional turbulence, diminished self-worth, and all the nudity and nasty body horror you can handle are at the forefront of this incredible sophomore effort from Coralie Fargeat, and We. Are. Here. For. It.

Even with all the bright colors and fun vibes this movie offers from start to finish, there's still so much psychological trauma and grief over losing one's identity, we still don't know how she packed it all in!

So grab yourself a nice big foie gras and black truffle stuffed turkey, wash it down with an Activator cocktail, and get ready for a good time!

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

Welcome to the beautiful Monroeville mall, chock full of department stores for your home goods needs, entertainment destinations to provide hours of fun for you and your family, and please take advantage of our wonderful food court, serving up plenty of corn dogs, pizza, and brains!

...wait, what was that last part?

You guessed it folks, we sat down to talk about the legendary George A. Romero's second installment in the "of the dead" series, Dawn of the Dead (1978)! We know you'll have just as much of a blast with this one as we did, with all the zombie smurfs, roving biker gangs, and helicopter blade decapitations you can handle! This one is a lot of gross, and a lot of fun.

So pull up a theater seat, get yourself a zombie dog and a slushie, and join us! Possibly forever...

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

Well, kiss me Blarney stones, it looks like it's that time of the year again!

The chill is starting to leave the air, replaced with the sounds of a lilting pan flute, and what's this...a space marine is giving wein birth to a full-grown gold goblin. How magical, indeed.

We really must apologize in advance for the shit show you're about to experience, as we inexplicably chose part FOUR of this...promising, but ultimately horrendous franchise to celebrate good ol' St. Paddy's Day with!

But don't let that scare you away, we still have a great time ripping this thing apart (as does the movie itself...several times..).

So grab yourself a green Guinness, put on the corned beef and enjoy our discussion on this delightful little gilded trainwreck!

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

"Are you watching?..."

We hope you did, because if you didn't, you missed out on a HELL of a good time!

We sat down this week to talk about Zach Cregger's sophomer effort, WEAPONS (2025), and it did NOT disappoint.

Who would you suspect if an entire flock of children from one town went missing at once...but...separately?

How much vodka would you need to cope with the whole town breathing down your neck?

Just how much soup can one boy carry, and where does Gladys get those bitchin' wigs?

We face down all this and more in this hilarious and compelling episode.

Just click play. Don't make me get the bell...

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

Hello, Sid-nebytes! What's YOUR favorite Scary Movie?

With Scream 7 just around the corner, we HAD to revisit this CLASSIC franchise. And revisit we did, turning in another fun episode in the process! A heapin' helpin' of your favorites from the OG are BACK to be terrorized by the one and only...two and only?...Ghostface killah'(s). We loved coming back to the universe of Woodsboro CA...even if this one DOES take place in Ohio...maybe we're cursed.

Either way, we're pretty sure you'll enjoy this one...just don't answer the phone...because that means the episode will turn off.

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

Happy Valentimes, Cinebyters! Here's hoping you all have someone to have Heart Eyes for this year!

As for us, we've got Heart Eyes for this movie! This week, we wanted to chat about this fun holiday hit that's equal parts Rom-Com and Bloody Slasher, and fun from start to finish!

With a cool, original baddie(s?)...and an all-star cast full of baddies...this is a great addition to the relatively small stable of options for occasion-appropriate content that you and your sweetheart to snuggle up on the couch to ;-)

Grab a box of chocolates (that's what life is like, after all) and pop a bottle of Dom Perig-non and enjoy!

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

Hey, all you cockadoody listeners! Welcome to Stephen King month! Are you ready for MORE wintertime fun? Then look no further, as we've got yet ANOTHER adaptation for your listening pleasure.

We decided to give the legendary Rob Reiner a nice send-off (RIP), covering his only horror movie, written by the legendary Stephen King, and featuring the legendary Kathy Bates in an Oscar-winning performance! It's gonna be legendary...

So grab yourself some hopefully un-spiked hot cocoa, pull up a wheelchair and take your Liberace record off the phonograph so you can drop the needle on this bad boy! It'll be divine! Misery's Child, the Sistine Chapel, and this...those are the only divine things ever in this cockadoody world.

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/

This is KDK-12 to KDK-1! This is KDK-12 to KDK-1! Come in!

Just kiddin', it's your pals The Cinebytes, back to kick off 2026 with a SUPER SIZED episode on a SUPER GREAT movie!

You know it, you love it, it's one of everyone's faves...except maybe Stephen King...it's Stanley Kubrick's The Shining (1980)!

And know it and love it as you may...do you know how different it is from the book? Are you aware of the wild conspiracy theories surrounding it? Did you know that whether you play it forwards, or backwards (or both), it's just as awesome?

We get into all of this and more as we unravel one of the wildest family dramas since my last Thanksgiving! Just light a fire, grab a bourbon, and let us regale you with EVERYTHING (we know) about this 46 year old masterpiece!

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Podcast art by Jayson Cessna: https://jaysoncessna.crevado.com

Music by Dusty Lane, created in LMMS.

Movie clips provided by https://movie-sounds.org/horror-movie-samples/