Left foot down, a healthy screech of brakes and before you know it we have done a complete one eighty in terms of the episode plan.

Every once in a while we do a double-diary format, as cool as double-denim and a nice break from the norm.

Often it’s because of a really lengthy entry. Typically I read a couple of pages a week, but on the odd occasion the text is four or five pages long and then we tend to split it.

This week however it's to allow the narrative arc of a few glorious days in Mexico to be enjoyed in its entirety.

Going with the flow is a wonderful thing and should be embraced. Umbrellas, stepladders, coffins and all.

h

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Seventeen points of seperation takes us from the beginning to the end this week.

1. Ivy
2. Nail-Brush
3. Left-Handed
4. Right Handed
5. November
6. HMRC
7. Christmas Market
8. Jon McClane
9. Places that aren't Tring
10. Liver'n'Onions
11. Squeeze
12. Steve Gadd
13. Aerosmith
14. Sprinting spiders
15. Nial's 21st
16. Nasal-hair treatment
17. Tony Benn

Boom.

h

Janie's got a Gun - Aerosmith

Hearts & Bones - Paul Simon

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There’s more than an end of term whiff to the this weeks instalment, and if you give me a moment I will explain.

Firstly we begin by tidying up all the outstanding bits from #162, namely the curious incident around the diary reading, the unasked questions that were answered, and then the unasked questions that weren’t.

And secondly, after a number of false starts, we actually manage to get a bit of chat going about F.E.A.R. Of course proper dialogue about that particular album means I tend to get a little ranty - but I think it will only be obvious to those of you who know me. (Ha ha ha...)

What I really mean is..

Get angry and demand more, because we all deserve better.

h

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It’s been a fairly chunky edit this week because, as you will undoubtedly hear, we had a few challenges.

If you weren’t aware we actually record TCD (sorry Lucy) over Zoom, just to allow me to see Ant & Ant to see me. The audio quality on Zoom is a little sketchy, so instead of using that we simultaneously record our conversation at either side of the screen.

That means we have some technical jiggery-pokery every week as we attempt to piece it all together.

Most weeks this is OK, but post the rigours of Les-tah and the flakiness of Ants internet provider meant #161 was more than normally troublesome.

Love’n’jov-ial

h

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Some crucial things ticked off the TCD checklist in this weeks episode;

a) lengthy preamble that inadvertently details some aspect of my personal circumstances or health - tick

b) not-so-subtle use of an audio sound effect, often crudely inserted - tick

c) excessive 70s references and/or nod towards a national treasure - tick, tick

d) never seemingly planned but nevertheless strangely insightful Marillion reference - tick

e) pornographic reference - tick

f) a general feeling of bewilderment - tick

You're welcome… It was effortless.

'Might see you in Les-tah then...

h

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It's pretty much a single question episode this week.

"Did you have a nice birthday?!"

Now as a concept you can spin that a couple of ways.

• Either, Ant followed his normal pattern of TCD prep and literally thought that would be enough to generate sixty minutes worth of something (and to be fair we do have previous...)
• Or, Ant made a calculation based on information previously gathered and assumed my capacity for rational chat, the day after both a birthday and the last night of a convention would be er.. patchy.

The answer probably exists somewhere betwixt those possibilities, but then you knew that already because you are smart, sensitive, forgiving types and there's no wonder we love you madly.

Basically I had much to recount, but I was too post-gig-spirit/body-traincrashed to express too many lucid memories. But I DID have a nice birthday. And in the morning.. a birthday is yet to come.

Anyway I must dash, I have a plane to catch and I am not getting any younger. The whole truth..

Toodleoo from Mr Taurus.

h x

It’s a strangely hypnotic episode of TCD (sorry Lucy) this week and a complete antithesis to what was going down on #157.

This is partly due to the slight otherworldliness that occurs when Ant & I attempt to Zoom over long distance, particularly when it involves Hotel wi-fi as it makes serious conversation a little trickier. Which means we tend to follow the path of least resistance and let the conversation wend as it wishes...

So, after a jet-lagged mooch around old Montreal we begin by saying all is perfectly lovely whilst pondering the danger that Earl Grey presents in the workplace. We then have a foray into knitted characters, the old testament, a legendary attempt at joke-telling and the side effects of hormonal sleeping remedies, before settling on my plans for the week.

Down at the sports-bar the ice hockey never ends...

Love'n'Brazilians. In helicopters.

h

An extra voice on the pod this week and one, that as you will find out, is normally banished to a darkened room to labour away on his near-never-ending task.

A bit like TCD (sorry Lucy) it must have seemed like such a good idea at the time, I mean what could be better than getting to listening to, and then catalogue, all the bits of music that your favourite band has ever committed to tape...other than perhaps the sheer bloody scale of it.

Anyway James kindly gave of his time to explain how his side-hustle came about, and what an important little cog he has become when it comes to both the 'remasters' and 'making-of' projects.

No prizes for guessing how well I compete with catalogued hard facts. I wouldn't call me as a defence witness...

Enjoy the coronation - I'm off to French Canada to swear allegiance to Quebec!

h

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Yet again we have been dropping distinctly British, distinctly men-of-a-certain-age, cultural references into TCD.

We do try and be more 'global', but the fact remains that you can take the boys out of Yorkshire (though I am not sure why you would want to...) but you can't take Yorkshire out of the boys.

Which means you are going to get references to Only Fools & Horses, Allo-Allo and The Two Ronnies this week - so for those of you operating slightly in the dark feel free to click through to a bit more information about each.

Actually whilst we are on that subject, it turns out I was mistaken about which vocal take for STCBM I was recording when, in the diary this week. So to channel yet more comedy gold from Morecambe and Wise 'I did record the right vocal takes, just not necessarily in the right order...

h :o]

Fork Handles - The Two Ronnies

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It actually started out quite well this week, not only were we both in the same time zone (and the same country), but the early rambling recollections of Cleckheaton and custard were both lucid and choc-full of supplementary detail.

But in a true TCD stylee Jim Broadbent brought it all crashing down. He was the northern actor I was grasping for, the chap that in my head was on screen with the likes of Olivia Colman & Helen Mirren.

And if you aren't aware of Jim's work (and let me tell you he is rather wonderful) then all you need to know is that he was Bridget Jones long-suffering father....

Have you got him now, can you see his face and his mannerisms? Well he reminds me of a fella I used to work with in Cleckheaton.

Love'n' sleepy Wednesday afternoons...

h

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