Well, well, well, cosmic cuties. On December 15th (or thereabouts, depending on your time zone), la Luna is full in the chatty mutable air sign, marking a peak moment in your communications and growth journey; meanwhile the planet of communication leaves its retrograde frenzy for good. And snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer Cosmic Cannibal has YOUR lowdown what what these two MAJOR planetary transits mean for you.

Exclusive astro-insights and humor are included! Want YOUR in-depth horoscope for the Gemini Full Moon & Mercury Direct? Head over to my astrology newsletter, CosmicCannibal.substack.com and become a paid subscriber for just $5/month to unlock THESE horoscopes and So. Much. More.

+ 2025 has some MAJOR astrological happenings. Get ahead of the curve with a 2025 Birth Chart Reading. Together, we’ll uncover how the game-changing energies of the year ahead will impact you.

+Want to dive deeper into the astrology of 2025? With the 2025 Astrology Workshop and the Ultimate 2025 Astrology Guide, you’re not just learning about astrology—you’re stepping into a toolkit for navigating the year’s most crucial transits.

+Need a cosmic pick-me-up? Check out my novel Jupiter Returns, a fresh comedy-romance with heaps of astrology and loads of laughs. Centered around the Jupiter in Gemini transit, it’s a barrel of laughs, astrology, and fun. (It also makes a great Holiday gift for the astrology lover / readers in your life!)

Let’s Connect:TikTok | Instagram | Facebook | My Website

Yep, it’s here. Mercury Retrograde. This week’s astrology kicks off with a loud, in-your-face backpedal for the Messenger / Megaphone planet in fiery Sagittarius. The good news? Well, there’s actually quite a bit of good news (believe it or not), and your favorite snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer, Cosmic Cannibal has everything YOU need to know about it. (Hint: it has to do with the Sagittarius full moon!)

Listen to YOUR weekly forecast for November 25, 2024 NOW.

+ To unlock the full potential of YOUR 2025 and get ahead of the curve with a 2025 Birth Chart Reading. Together, we’ll uncover how the game-changing energies of the year ahead will impact you. 

+Dive deeper into the astrology of 2025. With the 2025 Astrology Workshop and the Ultimate 2025 Astrology Guide, you’re not just learning about astrology—you’re stepping into a toolkit for navigating the year’s most crucial transits.

+Find out where this astrology lands with your Mercury in Sagittarius Horoscope & Jupiter Retrograde in Gemini Horoscope.    

+Need a cosmic break from the politics and noise? Escape it all with my novel Jupiter Returns, a fresh comedy-romance with heaps of astrology and loads of laughs. Get into the Jupiter groove with the ~official~ Jupiter Returns playlist on Spotify—it’s basically a cosmic soundtrack! And for all the visual feels, check out the Jupiter Returns board on Pinterest.

Let’s Connect:
TikTok | Instagram | Facebook | My Website

This week's astrology Oct. 14 - Oct. 20, 2024.

In the words of 1999 Jennifer Lopez, “Let’s get loud, let’s get loud!” Because this week brings some annoying (maybe tense) astrology, including a very in-your-face Aries full moon, all of which beckons you to get loud about the things that are upsetting, annoying, and/or important to you.

Join snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer & author Camille, aka Cosmic Cannibal, for this in-depth look at the astrology of the week ahead. Spoiler: laughs are encouraged.

+If this forecast has you buzzing with questions about how the Aries Full Moon and the rest of this week’s astrology is shaking things up in YOU life, don’t worry—we've got you covered! Dive deeper with a personalized 2024 / 2025 Birth Chart Reading to uncover exactly what this year is (still) illuminating for YOU.

+ICYMI: Camille's astrology, novel Jupiter Returns is LIVE! You can purchase YOUR paperback, ebook, or audio copy on her website or on Amazon. Get into the Jupiter groove with the ~official~ Jupiter Returns playlist on Spotify—and for all the visual feels, check out the Jupiter Returns board on Pinterest.

Connect with Cosmic:
TikTok | Instagram | Facebook | My Website

This Week's Astrology for Aug. 26, 2024.

Join Astrologer & author, Camille (aka Cosmic Cannibal) in this forecast, and unpack what mercury direct, Venus in Libra, and Uranus Retrograde mean for YOU.

There might also be some quips thrown in, because ya know.

Have you HEARD the news?

The debut novel for Cosmic Cannibal, Jupiter Returns, is launching for pre-sale!

Join the emailing list at CosmicCannibal.com for sneak peeks, launch events, and more fun stuff. I hope you’ll join me in celebrating this long-awaited release.

+If any of the above astrology makes you curious about your chart, check out my 2024 Astrology Birth Chart Reading. In this reading, we explore what transits are activating key points in your chart and how to work with their unique challenges. Paid subscribers here on Substack get 30% off chart readings! Subscribe now

+Want YOUR weekly horoscope? Check out my bi-weekly horoscopes from the Independent. I’m their first-ever in-house horoscope writer, and I deliver high-quality horoscopes every two weeks. (Psst. horoscopes are on the last page!)

+ Annnd, I was recently a part of a short film, brothergirls, which won several awards in the 48-Hour Film Project in Denver. You can catch me as “Karen” in the short film, here on YouTube.

What does the astrology of August have in store for YOU? Cosmic Cannibal's got the answers.

In this episode, the snarky-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer & author breaks down the month of August and its most impactful astrology, including: Mercury retrograde & the Leo new moon, Venus in Virgo & Libra, Mars & Jupiter square Saturn, the Aquarius full moon, and SO. MUCH. MORE.

To get in-depth August Monthly horoscopes for your Sun & Rising sign, check out The Cosmic Almanac on Substack.

Need to know how August's astrology is ipacting you and YOUR chart? Get a 2024 Birth Chart Reading at CosmicCannibal.com.

Don't miss an astro-update! Be sure to follow your favorite funny astrologer, Cosmic Cannibal, on Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, Facebook, and YouTube: @cosmiccannibalcamille.

This is certainly a super-charged, emotionally heightened week. Not only because it follows a weekend assassination attempt, but also because of the astrology. More precisely, because of Mars. 

Join snark-yet-savvy Gemini astrologer, Cosmic Cannibal in another laugh-out-loud episode of the astrology podcast that dives deep into the planets, signs, houses, and transits.

Be sure to follow Cosmic on social media @CosmicCannibalCamille.

+Are YOU a Cancer celebrating your b-day this week? Discover what the next 365 days means for YOU with a Solar Return Birth Chart Reading. Get a detailed roadmap of the opportunities, challenges, and transformative moments awaiting you in your next year.

+ Annnd, if you haven’t heard the news: I’m launching my debut novel, Jupiter Returns, a laugh-out-loud comedy-romance about an aspiring astrologer who navigates fierce competition, a surprise about her identity, and a new romance during her Jupiter Return. Jupiter Returns is launching soon.

A peek into the week's astrology, July 8 - 14, 2024. Join astrologer and author Cosmic Cannibal as she breaks down this week's most important astrological events, especially (and most importantly) Venus in Leo opposite Retrograde Pluto in Aquarius.

See the complete podcast transcript and sign up for more FREE weekly forecasts on The Cosmic Almanac.

+Did YOU love this podcast episode? Know someone who NEEDS to hear it? Share this podcast with YOUR friends!

+Are YOU a Cancer celebrating your b-day this week? Discover what the next 365 days means for YOU with a Solar Return Birth Chart Reading. Get a detailed roadmap of the opportunities, challenges, and transformative moments awaiting you in your next year.

+ Annnd, if you haven’t heard the news: Cosmic is launching her debut novel, Jupiter Returns, a laugh-out-loud comedy-romance about an aspiring astrologer who navigates fierce competition, a surprise about her identity, and a new romance during her Jupiter Return. Sign up for the Kickstarter pre-launch here.

+Be sure to follow Cosmic on TikTok to watch the self-publishing journey unfold!

On April 20, 2024, Jupiter and Uranus align in earth sign Taurus, setting the stage for a potentially explosive, exciting, and electrifying weekend. A conjunction between these two cosmic juggernauts is rare—it only happens about once every 14 years—and it does, it initiates a new cycle of expansion, innovation, and breakthroughs.

In this episode of the Cosmic Cannibal Podcast, comedy astrologer Cosmic Cannibal dishes on this rare planetary transit, offering her witty and incisive insights into all things Jupiter, Uranus, and Taurus.

Learn more about the Taurus ebook, here. Find other astrology cheat sheets here.     

In this episode of Cosmic Gumbo, Katie & Camille hilariously dish on the astrology of the Big Game 2024.

From Taylor Swift's political power (and whether or not she somehow rigged the game for beau Travis Kelce) to the zodiac signs of Kansas City & San Francisco's top players and coaches, this bowl of Cosmic Gumbo is a chunky one.

Talk Soup meets your Cosmo horoscope in this comedy astrology podcast. Featuring Gemini astrologer Camille (aka Cosmic Cannibal) and Kansas City Leo Katie, no star or star sign is safe from being tossed into this sonic dish.

Want MORE Cosmic Gumbo? Follow us on Instagram and TikTok: @cosmicgumbopodcast

Join astrologer and writer Cosmic Cannibal as she hilariously breaks down February's biggest transits. In this episode, Cosmic offers her witty insights, astrological expertise, and copious rambling about Mercury, Venus and Mars in Aquarius, Back to the Future Part II, the Aquarius new moon and much more. This forecast will make you laugh out loud while also giving you the motivation you need to conquer the month ahead. Whether you're a die-hard astrology fan or just looking for a good laugh, this episode is not to be missed!

Want MORE comic astro-logic from Cosmic? Check out her:

Astrology newsletter: cosmiccannibal.substack.com

Astrology Membership Community

Website: cosmiccannibal.com

TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Pinterest: @cosmiccannibalcamille