Like me, Charlie is an American-born son of immigrant parents.  Although the facts of our lives and cultures differ greatly, I recognize a lot of the same truths, and even though I’m not yet at his stage in life, I approach Charlie’s story with a great deal of self interest: what can I learn from his experience about supporting a parent in the decline of old age and about ushering grown children into adulthood?

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Many details in Thomas’ story remind me of the other Dad Bod dads. Like Brian, he's a girl dad. Like Carlton, he met one of his mentors through the Young Life Christian organization. Like Jeremy, his dad struggled as a small business owner.  Like TJ, sports was the backdrop for a pivotal moment in his life. Like John, his dad couldn't be counted on.  Like Carlton, Andrew, and Brian, he's grieved his dad's passing.  

In my imagination, I see Thomas gathered with the other Dad Bod dads, and this episode is him telling his story, adding it to the greater story of what it means to be a dad today.  And as he shares, the other dads acknowledge the similarities by nodding and saying, "me, too." Perhaps you've done the same while listening to The Dad Bod.  These similarities are the harmony to the melody of Thomas' story: a life deeply impacted by brokenness in his biological family but dramatically healed by divine grace through his chosen family.

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Andrew described TJ to me as considerate, wise, thoughtful, and with an off-the-charts EQ.  But beyond these specific qualities, Andrew clearly regards TJ as simply one of the most high quality people that he's ever worked with.  I find this kind of recommendation - one regular, everyday guy who sees another regular, everyday guy being extraordinary with that very ordinary slice of life known as "work" - to be very compelling, so I entered my conversation with TJ hoping to learn how he became a person that my friend Andrew so highly respected.

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I had a great time talking with Edwin, who was referred to the show by Charlie, Good Bad Ugly Dad from episode 7.  As we say on the Dad Bod, the show is here to reveal the hidden drama of modern day fatherhood, and so I appreciate Edwin for sharing his personal journey from growing up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, way back in the day as well as his career in education - not as a teacher, but as a "fireman" of the New York City public school system - I'll let him explain what that means.

But what I appreciate most from Edwin is the recognition that he gives his wife for everything that she does as a wife and as a mom.  As you'll hear, he points to her repeatedly throughout our conversation, which made me realize that the story of Edwin can only be made complete with the help of Pat.  You'll get to hear from both of them in this episode.

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This reflection episode is dedicated to Carlton, Daddy's Boy Dad.  After listening to this episode, I encourage you to go back and listen to the full interview so that you can get a firsthand feel for who Carlton is and his story.

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So my 20 year college reunion was a couple months ago.  I was on the fence about going until the last minute, but I'm so glad I did because I ended up reconnecting with my friend, fellow dad, and today's guest, John.  Even though John and I are the same age, I appreciate the wisdom he has to offer as a dad who, with three kids ages 15, 13, and 11, is several big stages ahead of me in the parenting journey.  

John and I had an amazing conversation that was full of heart and humor. His story has many parts to it: immigrant kid; only child of a single mom; a man changed through faith; a career switcher; and a swimmer-turned-coach, just to name a few.  

Now, to all of the loyal Dad Bod listeners out there, you might have noticed that one of the things that I tend to do when something's touched my heart, like really touched me deeply is I reach into my bag, dig around, dig around some more, and I pull out a nice, shiny metaphor.  So here goes.  

All of these parts of John's story are like the facets of a diamond: solid panes of polished rock serving as reflective windows onto one another's surprising angles, components of a cohesive geometry formed through pressure and craftsmanship and thereby embodying the complex, hidden drama of modern fatherhood.  This episode is the longest one to date, but I assure you that if you like what we're doing with the Dad Bod, it'll be worth your time.

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The eldest of 4, TJ grew up in Western PA and currently lives in London with his wife, their 5-year old son, and 3-year old daughter.  Professionally, he works in finance as a trader, and it's through his career that he crossed paths and became good friends with Andrew who our longtime listeners know as Andrew, Dim Sum Dad.

I'm very excited to be sharing this conversation with you.  Even though it was our first time meeting (on an audio-only Zoom call at that), I could absolutely feel what Andrew was referencing in the Dim Sum Dad interview when he said of TJ, "This guy's EQ is off the charts, both in terms of self-awareness and how to interact with people, and one of the things he spoke about was his parents expectations of him to take responsibility at an early age."  Andrew clearly looks up to TJ, and I suspect that many other people do as well.  

In our conversation, TJ - in his very, very humble manner - discusses the principles that he lives by, which can all be seen as extending from that spirit of self awareness and personal responsibility that Andrew identified in him.  These principles - sharpening the ax, sphere of influence, and bonding through adversity, to name a few - were imprinted on TJ through important seasons and people from his life, including his wrestling career, his dad's constant presence, his mom's unshakable strength, and his parents' collaboration in raising TJ and his three siblings.

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My personal top 5 last minute free Father's Day gifts, perfect for any dad in your life.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

Visit thedadbodpod.com or email me any time at [email protected]!

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“Favorite comfort food?” I asked Andrew during the warm up to our interview. “Dim sum,” he said, noting some classic dishes as well as a modern innovation from Toronto, kalbi short ribs with maggi sauce. 

When he said it, I thought it was simply a nice answer to one of several warm-up questions that I ask guests before we get into the actual interview. But after struggling to come up with a good title (Canada Dad? CanaDad?) my mind wandered back to “dim sum” as his favorite comfort food.  What is a comfort food anyway? Something tasty and indulgent, true, but the best comfort food also carries deep personal meaning, reminding you of when you were little and other important moments in life, as well as the people you love and who loved you through food. 

I listened again to Andrew answering the question of favorite comfort food. When he says “dim sum," he says it with a question mark at the end - dim sum? - and I understand why.

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I met Charlie through Carlton, Daddy’s Boy Dad, which makes Charlie the first referred guest of The Dad Bod!

Carlton gave me Charlie’s basic bio - devoted husband and father of 3 kids, two girls, ages 22 and 12, and a son age 19; professionally, he’s a branch manager at a commercial financial institution - as well as details he knows as a close friend of Charlie’s - the burdens and stresses of his dad’s declining health and the energy and ambition he’s channeling into small business side hustles. 

Carlton also shared this by text: “Charlie is a great man. He supported me when my mother passed away, canceling his morning meetings to attend the celebration of life for my mother. He is a mirror of a good friend.” With the text, he included a photo of Charlie in a black suit, head bowed, next to the open casket of Carlton’s mother. 

A few weeks before we would have the actual interview, I jumped on the phone with Charlie to answer some questions that he had about the interview process. “How real do you want me to be?” he asked. It was his first question and it told me a lot about Charlie and what our conversation would be like.  As you’ll hear, Charlie is a great story teller. Listening to him, you can feel the powerful, unifying narrative that courses through the stories of his life as a son, a man, and, of course, as a dad.

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