The Dad Bod

An earnest dad starts a conversation with his friend about fatherhood only to find himself in a conversation about God. He wants to change the subject, but the kid inside won’t let him because he wants an answer to the question most dreaded by grown ups: why? This is my reflection on Andres, Sacred Reality of Dad.

Jeff is the creator of Ambitious Dads, a program designed to help dads thrive in all spheres of life through a lens that views personal and professional life integrated rather than separate. In many respects, the idea for Ambitious Dads came to Jeff through his 25 year career as an executive coach, and more broadly speaking, as someone who has a lifelong passion for teaching and personal growth. "Transform your mindset. Make the impossible goal your truth." These are the words at the top of Jeff's website. Yes, it's a message to executives and dads seeking to level up, but as you're about to hear, it's also the story of Jeff's own personal journey to fatherhood.

I'm really excited to be sharing this conversation with you because in addition to being a dad, Drew has made helping other dads his very work and mission, specifically through his role as the Director of Dad Central, an organization that serves and equips dads in their personal journeys to be better dads. Prior to joining Dad Central, Drew founded Connected Dads, an enterprise born from his own transformational journey in leadership coaching under the mentorship of John Maxwell, whose best selling books have inspired millions in corporate America and the general public with practical wisdom on leadership and personal growth. 

When I visited The Dad Central website in preparation for my conversation with Drew, I saw a wealth of materials and programming crafted specifically to help dads. Materials like, "The 7 Step Guide to Stop Yelling," "The New Dad Starter Kit," and "The Role and Value of Being a Dad," as well as direct mentorship through a private Dad Central community. But when I spoke with Drew, I went from merely amazed by the content of Dad Central to being deeply moved by Drew's personal story and motivation for helping dads. As you'll hear, the key for Drew in serving dads is to emanate the honesty and empathy of someone who, as he puts it, is doing the work himself. Our conversation took us to some pretty heavy themes: forgiveness, divorce, and what it takes to support a friend through difficult times.

For Father's Day , a tribute to the 12 dads that changed my life with their personal stories in season 1 of The Dad Bod.

Looking for a last minute, free, heartfelt father's day gift for a dad in your life? Check out last year's HFD episode, Top 5 Last Minute Free Father's Day Gifts.

Email me any time at [email protected].

Thank you for supporting The Dad Bod!

Shout out to Carlton, Daddy's Boy Dad, and Rod's brother, Kervens, for introducing me to Coach Rod because of the passion that we share for lifting up fatherhood. In Rod's case, he is the co-creator of Black Dad Unfiltered, a media company dedicated to showcasing the profound influence of Black fatherhood. Although Black Dad Unfiltered is only a year old, they’ve created an incredible amount of positivity on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest - basically every platform in addition to their podcast - driven by their mission to inform, inspire, and create positive change by elevating the contributions of Black fathers.

At the surface, Black Dad Unfiltered and The Dad Bod look as different as Rod and me. But when we met on Zoom for an intro call, we immediately recognized the intertwined roots of our two creative endeavors. I was grateful for the opportunity to create this episode as a Black Dad Unfiltered - Dad Bod collaboration. I would describe the approach we took to the conversation as the Dad Bod melody set to the rhythm and rhyme of Black Dad Unfiltered. Is that what they call a remix? A mashup? Whatever it is, I hope it's the first of many collaborations, because what you're about to hear is a fun, meaningful conversation on important topics and stories that touch upon who we are as sons, men, and dads.

Check out more from Black Dad Unfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, X, and Pinterest.

I was introduced to Tom by Thomas from Season 1. I dubbed Thomas, "Chosen Dad," because one of the key things that he shared with me was the concept of chosen family, the people who aren't biologically family to you but become your family through the power and constancy of their presence in your life. Tom and Thomas became chosen family to one another through Young Life, a Christian ministry for teens where Tom, in his capacity as Young Life staff, mentored Thomas. If you're confused at this point about which one's Tom and which one's Thomas, that's totally understandable. In fact, maybe that's the point, because their stories are like the shards of a once-broken object, their jagged, imperfect edges coming together to redeem the wasn't-supposed-to-be-this-way wounds of childhood into a meant-to-be miracle. In our conversation, Tom shares great wisdom and insight on two demographics that are especially pertinent to us dads: teenagers and middle-aged men, the two constituencies that he's ministered to in his 20-plus year career as a pastor. He also shares candidly about his pain from childhood, the healing he's received, and the growing up he still has left to do.

One more thing to introduce this interview: I looked up the origin of the name Thomas and its shortened form, Tom, and it turns out that it's an Aramaic name that means "twin," so you might say that this episode pretty much named itself: Tom, Chosen Dad.

Enjoy the transcript as well, specially prepared for clarity and impact.

My connection with Mario goes back to January, when I was part of the audience to his magic show, Mario the Maker Magician (@mariothemagician), for my niece's 6th birthday. As the lights dimmed in the theatre, I was expecting just a large scale version of magic shows that I'd seen at kids birthday parties, but looking back now, there were signs that this show would be different. The first was the location, the SOHO Playhouse, a downtown theatre proud of its rich place in history and as a launchpad of dreams for independent, off-broadway performers. The second was the credits and mentions in the program - Mario's been on Sesame Street, the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and on tour opening for David Blaine who calls him "the best kids magician in the world." Within the first four minutes, Mario had the kids laughing and captivated, but what makes the show different is that by the last four minutes, he had all of us grownups clapping and choking back tears as he harmonized his magic with the heartbeat of his show, a mantra that goes like this: do what you love; use what you've got; never give up; and have fun. Wow. My wife, sister, brother-in-law and I all looked each other as if to say, did you just cry in a kids magic show, or was it just me?

Please check out the episode page, which for the first time ever, includes a transcript of the conversation, edited for clarity and formatted to convey an appreciation for what it means to be a dad today.

John and I met for the interview at his office, the type of space that works very hard just to keep up and yet remain ultimately indistinguishable from the other offices in midtown Manhattan. In this office, I could imagine John and I being introduced for professional reasons - we both work in finance - but instead, we were meeting as two dads to talk about fatherhood.  In a nod to the professional environment around us, the start of our conversation felt like water cooler small talk, and to be honest, I was worried that John and I would be held back by our shared professional customs and mannerisms that insist on keeping things, well, professional rather than personal.  Thankfully, to borrow from St. Augustine, even though we were physically meeting in a building prototypical to the City of Man, by the end of our conversation, we would find ourselves seated at a communal table in the City of God.

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If the vision for the Dad Bod is to capture the hidden drama of what it means to be a dad today, then for me personally, this conversation really nails it because so much of what Micah has to say about the feelings of being a dad really resonates with me. Feelings like exhaustion, restlessness, and guilt, but also gratitude, astonishment, and of course, love. Sitting across from Micah felt like listening to someone speak on behalf of my own personal cohort of dads: boys who grew up in suburban America in the 80s and 90s where unsupervised time outdoors and at friends’ homes drinking soda from a can and water from a hose was the norm. Rather than repeat that upbringing for our kids, we (and I include myself) have taken to helicopter parenting. How did that happen?

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Talking with Mitch was like getting a chance to look at my life from a healthy, helpful distance by being airlifted to his higher perch in life as a dad of two dads, a grandfather of six, and a husband of 45 years.  This episode is from a second conversation that I had with Mitch where he identified and shared his perspective on the major moments of transition in a child's life that we as dads should be particularly mindful of - yes, for the benefit of our children, but just as much for our benefit as well, because as he points out repeatedly, these are moments of transition for us, too.