The Dad & Daughter Connection

Hey dads, welcome back to Dad Connections in 5, your five-minute dose of practical wisdom to help you grow closer to your daughter—one intentional moment at a time. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're diving into one of the most powerful, yet often overlooked, tools in your parenting toolbox:

Validating your daughter's emotions—even when you don't fully understand them.

Let's be real—sometimes your daughter's reactions might feel dramatic, confusing, or even over-the-top. Maybe she's crying about a lost hair clip. Maybe she's devastated over a friendship shift that seems minor to you. But here's the truth: What matters to her deserves your respect—because what you validate becomes the bridge to deeper connection.

Let's explore why that validation matters, and how you can start doing it today—even when you don't get it.

Your daughter's emotional world is real—even if it doesn't make sense to you. When you validate her feelings, you're sending these messages:

• "Your emotions are real and important."
• "I'm not here to fix you—I'm here to understand you."
• "You're not alone in this."

And that? That builds trust. It builds confidence. And it helps her learn how to process emotions in healthy ways, instead of stuffing them down or feeling ashamed of them.

When your daughter shares something emotional, your instinct might be to offer advice, solutions, or logic. But before you go there—pause and listen.

Try this:

• "That sounds really frustrating."
• "Wow, I can tell that really got to you."
• "Tell me more about what happened."

She doesn't need a fix. She needs a safe place to feel without being judged.

Even if you don't fully get why something upset her, you can still reflect it back with empathy.

Examples:

• "It sounds like you felt left out when that happened."
• "You were really excited about that, and it didn't go how you hoped. That's disappointing."
• "It makes sense that you'd feel upset about that."

You're not saying her feelings are right or wrong—you're just showing her they're valid. That builds emotional safety.

It's easy to say:

• "It's not that big of a deal."
• "When I was your age, I had it worse."
• "You're overreacting."

Even if you mean well, those phrases teach her that her emotions aren't worth sharing. Instead, focus on connection, not correction.

Try this instead:

• "I may not fully understand it, but I can see that this matters to you—and that's enough for me to care about it too."

Here's your challenge: The next time your daughter shares something emotional—even if it feels small to you—validate it.

You can say:

• "I see how much this is affecting you."
• "Thanks for trusting me with that."
• "I may not totally get it, but I'm here with you in it."

Even a single validating response can shift how safe she feels with you. And when she feels safe, she keeps the conversation going.

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. Remember—your daughter isn't looking for perfect words. She's looking for presence. For empathy. For someone who says, "Even when I don't understand exactly what you're feeling—I'm here, and I care."

Until next time—keep showing up, keep listening with your heart, and keep reminding her that her emotions are safe with you.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads, welcome back to another episode of Dad Connections in 5—your five-minute guide to building strong, lasting relationships with your daughter, one intentional moment at a time. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're talking about something that might not always be visible—but it's incredibly powerful:

Helping your daughter develop a positive inner voice.

That little voice in her head—the one that speaks when no one else is around—can either be her biggest encourager or her harshest critic. And believe it or not, you play a huge role in shaping that voice.

Let's talk about how to guide it, strengthen it, and make sure she learns to speak to herself with the same kindness and belief you already have in her.

Your daughter's inner voice helps shape:

• How she views herself
• How she handles mistakes
• How she builds confidence
• How she stands up for herself and others

It becomes her compass when you're not there. The way you talk to her today can become the way she talks to herself tomorrow.

When she hears:

• "You're so smart!" She might learn to fear failure.

But when she hears:

• "You worked hard on that—look how far you've come!" She learns to value growth over perfection.

This teaches her that her worth isn't tied to performance—it's tied to her perseverance and heart.

Modeling matters. If you constantly say things like,

• "Ugh, I'm so stupid."
• "I messed everything up again,"
• She's listening—even if you think she's not.

Instead, try:

• "That didn't go the way I wanted, but I'll figure it out."
• "I made a mistake, but I'm learning."

Your self-talk teaches her that mistakes aren't the end—they're just part of the journey.

When she says:

• "I'm terrible at this,"

Instead of dismissing it or disagreeing outright, say:

• "That sounds like a tough moment. Want to talk about why you feel that way?"

Then gently guide her to reframe it:

• "It's okay to struggle. That doesn't make you bad at it—it makes you human."
• "You're learning, and that takes time. You've got this."

Over time, she'll learn to talk to herself with the same compassion.

Here's your challenge: Catch her doing something well today—and name the effort behind it.

Try:

• "You stuck with that even when it was hard. That's amazing."
• "I love how you kept going even when it didn't work at first."
• "You showed real kindness today—did you notice that?"

And if she shares a negative thought, gently ask:

• "What would you say to a friend who felt that way?" Then encourage her to say it to herself.

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. Remember—your daughter's inner voice is being built every day. With your encouragement, your modeling, and your love, that voice can become one that lifts her up for life.

Until next time—keep affirming, keep modeling grace, and keep helping her become her own best supporter.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads, welcome to another episode of Dad Connections in 5—your quick, meaningful guide to deepening your bond with your daughter, five minutes at a time. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today's topic is one that can truly shape how your daughter sees the world—and herself:

How to teach gratitude and a positive outlook on life.

Now, let's be clear—this isn't about toxic positivity or pretending life is always great. It's about helping your daughter learn to look for the good, appreciate the small things, and build resilience in the face of challenges. Gratitude is more than a feeling—it's a mindset. And it's one of the most valuable gifts you can give her.

Practicing gratitude has been linked to:

• Increased happiness
• Better relationships
• Lower stress and anxiety
• Greater optimism and resilience

When your daughter learns to notice what's good in her life—even in tough seasons—she builds emotional strength. And when she learns to do it with you, that strength is rooted in love and trust.

Your daughter learns more from what you do than what you say. If she hears you regularly expressing appreciation—out loud—it becomes part of her normal.

Try this:

• "I'm really grateful we had time to hang out today."
• "That sunset was amazing—what a gift."
• "Work was stressful, but I'm thankful I get to provide for us."

This helps her see that even when things are hard, there's always something to be thankful for.

Keep it low-pressure and age-appropriate. A few ideas:

• A nightly "What was one good thing today?" check-in before bed
• A shared gratitude jar where you each drop in a note weekly
• A weekly "thankful walk" where you both take turns naming what you're grateful for

These rituals build emotional awareness and shift her focus toward the positive—without ignoring the real stuff.

When life gets tough—and it will—help her find meaning or growth in the experience. Not to sugarcoat it, but to give her tools.

Examples:

• "I know you were disappointed about the test, but I'm proud of how you kept going."
• "That situation hurt—but look at the way you spoke up. That took courage."
• "Even though this didn't go the way we hoped, what's one thing we can learn from it?"

This teaches her that gratitude and positivity aren't about pretending—it's about choosing where to focus her energy.

Here's your challenge: Start a gratitude moment today with your daughter.

Ask her one simple question:

• "What's something that made you smile today?"

And then share your answer too. That's it. One honest, positive moment shared between the two of you.

It might seem small—but it opens the door to a lifelong habit.

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. Remember, when you help your daughter notice what's good in her world, even in the middle of the mess, you're helping her build a mindset that will carry her through life.

Until next time—keep showing up, keep practicing gratitude, and keep helping your daughter see the beauty in her everyday.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads, welcome to another episode of Dad Connections in 5, where we take just five minutes to explore simple but powerful ways to strengthen the bond between you and your daughter. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're getting to the heart of what every child needs, but especially every daughter:

To know she is loved—completely and unconditionally.

That means not for her grades. Not for her behavior. Not for her performance, her personality, or her choices.

But simply because she's your daughter. And that kind of love? It becomes the foundation for her self-worth, her resilience, and her ability to love herself and others well.

Let's talk about how to make sure she knows that—deep in her bones.

A daughter who knows she is unconditionally loved:

• Feels emotionally secure
• Is more likely to take healthy risks and learn from failure
• Has stronger self-esteem and healthier relationships
• Comes back to you—even when she's messed up

It's the difference between a girl who's constantly trying to earn love, and one who knows she already has it.

It's so easy to praise outcomes—"You got an A!" "You scored a goal!"—and yes, those things deserve celebration. But she also needs to know her value isn't tied to her performance.

Say things like:

• "I love you for who you are, not for what you do."
• "There's nothing you could do that would make me love you more—or less."
• "I'm proud of your effort, not just the result."

Over time, these messages become her inner voice.

Unconditional love isn't about being okay with bad behavior—it's about loving through it.

So when she's had a meltdown, or made a mistake, or disappointed you:

• Correct the behavior, but don't withdraw emotionally
• Remind her: "I didn't like what you did, but I still love you."
• Let her see that love isn't something she has to chase or earn

This teaches her that mistakes are part of growth—not the end of love.

Don't wait for special moments or achievements. Make "I love you" a normal, daily thing.

Try saying it:

• Before school
• When you say goodnight
• When she walks in the room
• When she's quiet, or struggling, or simply just there

Sometimes the most powerful "I love you" is the one that's not tied to anything at all.

Here's your challenge: Look your daughter in the eyes and tell her:

• "You don't have to do anything to earn my love. You already have it—all of it."

Then back it up with a hug, a smile, or just your presence. That simple act might stick with her for life.

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. Remember—your daughter will face a world that tries to measure her worth by looks, likes, grades, and achievements. But if she knows her dad sees her as enough, exactly as she is, she'll walk through that world a whole lot stronger.

Until next time—keep showing up, keep speaking love, and keep building a foundation she'll never have to question.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

If you're a dad hoping to build a closer, more meaningful relationship with your daughter, you won't want to miss this episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast. Host Dr. Christopher Lewis invites educator, coach, mentor, and author Chad Mitchell to share stories and insights from his life as a father of two daughters (and six children total), as well as lessons from his new book, "Change Your Game."

The Power of the Everyday Moment

One of the central themes Chad Mitchell brings to the conversation is the importance of the "little things." As a father and now a grandfather, he reflects that the most meaningful moments with his daughters weren't grand gestures or planned events, but simple time spent together—talking, listening, and just being present. It's a reminder for all dads: you don't have to be perfect or extraordinary for your daughter. What matters most is showing up authentically, creating spaces for laughter, listening, and sharing life's ups and downs.

Balancing Guidance and Independence

Chad Mitchell is candid about his own journey learning how to guide his daughters while also giving them the independence to grow. He admits he was stricter with his first daughter, loosening up with experience. His key realization? Letting your children choose their own paths—whether in sports, music, or academics—helps them build confidence and resilience. He encourages dads to support their daughters' unique interests, learn from mistakes (their own and their kids'), and "choose your battles wisely."

Raising Leaders, Not Just Followers

A recurring lesson from Chad's book and the episode is that leadership isn't defined by age, popularity, or formal titles but by influence, kindness, integrity, and everyday choices. Dads play a unique role in helping daughters see themselves as leaders—right now, not just in the future—by labeling them as such and recognizing the ways they impact those around them.

Connection Through Listening and Vulnerability

Perhaps most powerful is the call for empathetic listening. Chad Mitchell believes that being fully present—with eye contact, without distractions—opens the door to trust and deeper connection. Sharing your own struggles and vulnerabilities, as appropriate, helps daughters realize they're not alone in facing life's challenges.

If you want real stories, practical wisdom, and encouragement for your journey as a dad, listen to this episode. You'll leave inspired to engage more deeply, support your daughter's dreams, and grow together, one honest conversation at a time.

Tune in and discover how you can truly connect with your daughter today!

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have an opportunity to be able to work on those relationships, those connections that we have with our own daughters, working to help to make them be the strongest that we want them to be, the strongest that they can be. And we do that by learning, by growing, by continuing to look beyond ourselves.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:16]: And that's why every week, I love being able to have you here and being on this journey with me. Today on the dad and Daughter Connection, we're joined by someone who has dedicated his life to empowering young people to lead, to serve, and to believe that they matter. Chad Mitchell is a educator, a coach, an author, and mentor, and has a new book called Change youe Game. And it in this book, it really reminds us that leadership isn't about age or status or titles. It's about influence, kindness, integrity, and the everyday choices that we make. Chad has spent many years helping young people discover their voice and. And their courage. And today we're going to talk to him about being a dad himself, a father of six, but we're also going to talk to him about being a father of two daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:07]: But we're going to talk to him about this book, too, and gain a little bit more perspective about his own journey, but also some of the things that he's learned along the way in working with youth in this way. So really excited to have him here. Chad, thanks so much for being here today.

Chad Mitchell [00:02:21]: Chris, thanks for having me. I'm super excited. The intro just gives me goosebumps. I'm great. I love. I love this subject matter. I love my daughters. I love young women, and it's going to be exciting time.

Chad Mitchell [00:02:32]: Thanks for having me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:33]: Well, I'm really excited to have you here and to chat with you today and having two daughters, I know that your kids range in age from 17 to 35, so every child is a little bit different and your daughters came interspersed between the sons that you have as well. And I guess as you think about your two daughters, what are some of the most meaningful moments that you've been able to share with your daughters thus far and what made them so special?

Chad Mitchell [00:03:01]: What are the most meaningful moments with my daughters? You know, it's interesting that I would think they're not if you. In the moment, they were just little things, Chris. They're not. I mean, there's probably a couple things like a daddy daughter dance that I would have taken my girls to when we lived in, in Chicago area, but I think a lot of them are just time together, listening, talking, smiling, and just doing really simple, seemingly mundane things. But as I get older and we have five grandchildren, all of them daughters, and I get to spend time with my daughters, being mothers now, it is the simple things. It's holding a baby, it's, you know, going to the store with them. It's just really just that relationship. And there are so many little things that go into having a good relationship.

Chad Mitchell [00:03:51]: And I would say just those moments of us together not doing anything fancy or crazy, but just enjoying each other and being each other's company and sharing hard things, sharing sad things, sharing fun times and sharing silly dad jokes which they grown at still. But that's all right. That comes with the territory.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:08]: It does come with the territory. I'm not good at telling dad jokes. And when I say something that I probably didn't mean to be a dad joke, I do get the groans too. So I completely understand that now. I know both of your daughters are grown and they're adults, but as you think back to them growing up and you think back to the things that you did to help them become the women that they are today, how did you balance guiding your daughters while also giving them the independence to grow into the women that they did become?

Chad Mitchell [00:04:39]: So I think of Taylor Swift's recent song Eldest Daughter, and I love the phrase that she talks about. Eldest daughter was the first lamb to the slaughter. And so I will, I'll be the first to say, Chris, I'm a much better dad today than I was when our first daughter was born. So I don't know how good a job I did back then, you know, as a first time parent. And you know, you have two daughters and that first one you probably handle differently than you're handling the second one. And I don't mean that in a pejorative way, but you just learn a lot. And so I think I was much better with Chloe second daughter in terms of not trying to protect her from everything and trying to keep her from dealing with hard things. And so one great way to give them independence and let them create their own path is to try what they want to try.

Chad Mitchell [00:05:26]: And whether that's sports, whether that's acting, whether that's music, whether that's cooking. I mean, giving your kids freedom to do and choose how they want to spend some of their time is a huge thing. And I'm a football guy, and so I wanted my kids to try football, except for my daughters. And that's a whole nother story that Caitlin would love to tell you about how she was the one shot at letting having a football player, and I told her she couldn't because she was a girl. Forgive me, Caitlin, but, you know, the kids didn't gravitate to football, and so we needed to let them do lacrosse and let them do soccer and let them do music. And so I think just giving the kids the ability to choose their own way as early as we can in a safe way, is a huge part of helping them be independent and also learn from mistakes along the way.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:13]: Speaking about mistakes, all of us do make mistakes. We're human. And as our children are born, there is no manual to tell us how to be a dad. And hopefully we've had some good role models along the way, but not every father does. So, as you think back to raising your daughters and having them be coming up through their ages into adulthood, what's a mistake that you know that you did make as a father, and what did you learn from it about fostering either a better positive connection or something else?

Chad Mitchell [00:06:45]: So I will say that my dad was fairly strict. He was in the army as drill sergeant. And so you talk about role models and mentors, and we have those for good and ill. And my dad taught me a lot of great things. But like every parent, right, There are some things that I observed and saw that were not the best thing to do as a parent. And so I think being strict, as I already mentioned, with my eldest daughter and even with with Chloe, our fourth child, I wish I would not have been so strict. And it's okay to be strict sometimes, but as my wife says, choose your battles wisely. Right? Is it really important to be strict about this thing that doesn't matter at all? Because that was my experience growing up.

Chad Mitchell [00:07:29]: Probably not. Do we need to be strict about, hey, you do your homework first, and then you go and play, and that's the rule. And sure, there's little exceptions because of unique circumstances, but, you know, the exceptions can't swallow the rule. So I was too strict with my kids. I got better, and I'm even much better today, but it's still a challenge, and I wish I wasn't so strict. And so dad's out there listening, you know, find those. Find those things that don't matter as much and let things go. So we're not constantly harping on or, you know, talking to our kids about little things as opposed to the things that matter most, which is them feeling loved by us and getting a lot of positive feedback from us, as opposed to, hey, did you do this? Why haven't you done that? You missed this spot on the lawn.

Chad Mitchell [00:08:21]: I mean, very practical things that some you follow up on, but a lot of them I've found out, they're not important enough to degrade the relationship.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:29]: Every one of us as fathers have to balance that. Like you were talking about the support and the challenge as we are working with our daughters, thinking about how you supported your daughters, how did you support your daughters in pursuing their dreams and their passions that they had for themselves?

Chad Mitchell [00:08:50]: I would show up. Sometimes it was just a supportive parent in the stands or in the audience. Sometimes it was stepping up to be the coach because they didn't have a coach. Sometimes it was, you know, taking off work and going to see them do a presentation at school. I think showing up, Kris, is one of the most important things we can do and make sure you show up in the right role that you have. Because when I'm not a coach, I don't need to show up for my kids at their soccer game and coach them. I'm there to cheer them on. I'm there to be supportive of them and their team.

Chad Mitchell [00:09:23]: And they have a coach. Let that coach do their job. Chad's not coaching. Chad doesn't need to coach. My kid at soccer, I'm there to cheer and support. So I think showing up and showing up in a way that's going to be supportive and listening and just enjoying the moment and enjoying whatever the result is. If it's a loss, there's an opportunity to learn something from that. Right? If it's a game that doesn't go well, there's an opportunity to learn something from that.

Chad Mitchell [00:09:50]: And if it's an awesome game and your daughter hustles and maybe doesn't score a basket but plays super hard, oh, that's so much to celebrate, right? Just showing up and giving it great effort, man. There's a lot of success in that little simple recipe right there. So reward that. Be excited about that when that happens, point that out in our daughter's lives. When we see that that can change maybe a bad or a situation that they're not excited about, to see the good in it and see the way that they put forth effort which we can all control and turn it into a positive. Everything can be a positive if we look at it from the right perspective.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:28]: Now I mentioned that you have a new book called Change youe Game and it is a leadership book. It has has a lot of leadership principles within it, but it's more than just that. It, as I looked through it and, and read through parts of it, it's a, it's a guide that really helps young people understand their value, their influence and the power that they have to change the world around them. I love the fact that you use stories and science and use some reflection prompts through with, along with real life examples. And you invited all of us as readers to see that leadership isn't about age or popularity. It's about, as I said at the beginning, integrity, kindness, courage, and the choices that we make every day. So as an author myself, I know how much time, passion, effort goes into putting something out into the world. So I guess before we dive too deep into some questions about the book itself, talk to me about the genesis story of why this book, why this topic, and why you wanted to put it out into the world.

Chad Mitchell [00:11:32]: So why this book? So it was October 17, 2020 that I started writing this book. I went back once I got it published. It's not available yet. It'll be available in January. But I went back to say how long have I been working on this? When did I actually start? So I went back and looked at my files and it's been five years and it was in Covid I was coaching, I coached spring lacrosse in Washington State, boys high school sport. And so that got cut off right before we had a game. I think the Thursday before we had a game on, on our first game of the season on everything got turned topsy turvy and we up here in Washington State, we did not have a season. So there's a lot of extra time that I had on my hands and a lot of reflection, as I'm sure all of us did or most of us did during the unexpected Covid that shut down many parts of our lives about what matters, what's important to me.

Chad Mitchell [00:12:24]: And as I saw young people struggling with the reality of COVID and what it did to daily life. I was just trying to figure out a way that I could help beyond just the kids who I have influence over through church, through our neighborhood, through our community. And I felt like I should start writing this book. And so I started writing it, and it really. I don't know that, Chris. I don't know. That's a book I could have written five years ago. As you said, I've been working with you since I was 18.

Chad Mitchell [00:12:53]: The first time I coached youth sports was when I was still in high school. Someone asked me to help with a soccer team. So I have a lot of the experience, but I think the nuance and the perspective, you know, I've gone through some counseling, some therapy, and I just felt like I was finally at a point where I was comfortable enough with myself and really was trying to do it for the right reason, just to help youth and help us as adults figure out a way to tap the potential that our youth have, that the time was right. And so, yeah, a lot of time, a lot of energy. I asked myself, I'd be curious if you did this when you've written your books, Chris, is anyone going to read this? Is it going to make a difference? Am I wasting my time? Because so much time and a couple points along the way, I felt like this is worth doing. And lo and behold, here we are five years later, and it's coming out into the world, which is super exciting. But I really would love to hear the answer to my question from you, Chris. Did you have imposter syndrome and doubts about whether this was the best use of your time as you slog through what a really hard thing to do in writing a book.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:55]: Imposter syndrome is definitely real, and you will always feel that way. And you'll have your people that you know will always say something nice. If your parents are still around, they're going to say nice things. Your family's going to say nice things. But it comes down to, okay, what are other people saying? People that you don't know. And you have to always just kind of turn a blind eye to naysayers because you're. There are always trolls out there, but there are people that will come out of the woodwork, and inevitably you're going to find that people do really like it and that people will resonate with it. So keep moving forward.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:29]: That's all I can say at this point.

Chad Mitchell [00:14:30]: Awesome. Thank you. I appreciate the encouragement, and it sounds like we had a very similar experience. But one more question. Doesn't anyone go through Imposter syndrome before they make it. Because at some point, aren't we all imposters?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:43]: Yes, we always are. You always fake it till you make it and you hear that mantra. But it's very true. And I think a lot of our kids do feel that they have to be perfect, especially kids these days. And that's a challenge right now. I think as parents, we have to work with our daughters to be able to help them to see that they just need to be who they are, they don't have to be perfect and that nobody's expecting them to be perfect in any way.

Chad Mitchell [00:15:10]: Social media makes that so hard, makes it so hard for our young men and young women to not feel like they have to live up and measure up to the artificiality they see on a constant basis through their phones.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:22]: Well, and so many filters. And seeing the non reality of what life really looks like when you look at people through the lens of an iPhone and through the filter filters that are provided there, it can make anybody look great and make the reality of a person's life look very different than what the reality really is now. You know, your book mentions and emphasizes that young people are not too young to lead and that their influence on peers is far greater than adults often realize. How can dads empower their daughters to see themselves as leaders right now, not someday in the future?

Chad Mitchell [00:15:58]: Yeah, great question. And so one of the things I talk about in the book is labeling a leader, and I'm not sure exactly why, but calling our daughters leaders as opposed to saying they're leading or they have leadership. But using the noun calling them a leader actually is more effective than labeling it something else. And so one of the things I've done with my kids in my learning journey, Chris, is will tell me how you are a leader today at school. And he may, or Chloe or, you know, it doesn't matter if you're a son or a daughter. And they may say, you know, Chloe may say, well, I don't know that I was dad. I said, well, did you have a discussion with any of your friends? Tell me about that. And you ask questions in the appropriate setting.

Chad Mitchell [00:16:44]: Right. Depending on your age of your daughter, she may not be interested in having that discussion with you. My experience is daughters are more open to having these discussions than a certain age of boys are. But I think you can point out little things to them that they don't think of as being a leader and label that a leader and talk to them about them being a leader and help them connect that, yes, this Little thing I do, saying hi to my friend in the hallway and asking them what they're excited about and then actually listening to their answer and remembering their answer. That's a great leader, right? That's connection with their peer. That's helping somebody else feel seen and cared about and respected. And it's so our kids don't think about it that way generally. And so our role as dads is point that out to our daughters and help them explore that and see that and how that can have such a positive impact on their peers.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:40]: One of the other things that I really liked in the book was throughout the book, you draw a line between integrity and inner peace. When, as you said, our shoes fit our feet, life feels right. How can dads help their daughters choose integrity, especially when fitting in or pleasing others, feels easier?

Chad Mitchell [00:18:00]: I think the foundation that we need to try and give our daughters, Chris, is what I do in the book is explore principles. Right? If we have a foundation of principles that we try and use to guide our lives, then it's going to be easier for our kids to understand why it's important to be consistent with our principles. I mean, what principles are there? On just a random day on social media, there are no principles. Or if there are principles, the overarching principles are throw shade at other people. Look at me, I'm so cool. I have all these material things. And it's so easy to get caught up in as we talk about in the book. But when we have principles that help govern our lives, such as I care about other people more than I care about material things, as a dad, I tell my daughters I love them and I love them more than anything else in the world.

Chad Mitchell [00:18:53]: Right? And if they know that love is one of the principles that I care about and I show that to them, guess what they're going to care about? They're going to care about love. And that's going to be an aspect of a principle, that they determine how it fits into their world. And so when we teach them principles about love, doing the right thing, even when it's hard, being kind to others, being honest with others and yourself, it's those principles rising to the surface in difficult situations. They're going to help them make the right choice. And when they don't make a right choice, we should have taught our daughters about making mistakes is part of the process, Right? Some of the greatest growth I've had is mistakes. Do my kids know that? Do my daughters know that? Absolutely. And I think that helps with. That's got to Be one of the principles is mistakes are a part of life.

Chad Mitchell [00:19:42]: We're going to make them. The real question is, what do we do when we make them? It's not are we going to make them? It's how do we react when we make a mistake? And so that's a great question, Kris. I don't know that I did your question justice with my answer, but that's what I got right now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:55]: A number of your stories that you share talk about those that are Natural Helpers and Hope Squad, and you talk about that in your book. And it also relates to moments where young people saved lives simply by being trusted peers. What do you believe that dads can do to help their daughters become this type of friend that others feel safe talking to?

Chad Mitchell [00:20:16]: The most important thing that a dad may be able to instill in his daughter's, his daughter or daughters, I think is empathetic listening. And I talk about that in the book, Chris. And what I mean by that is whole self listening. You know, if someone is sharing with me a problem, so think about this as having a discussion with your daughter or she trying to have a discussion with you. The, the optimal way to do that is to put your phone away, is to sit and look at the person. It's to not be distracted by other things. It's actually not to think about what am I going to say in response to what Caitlin and Chloe are telling me. It's I need to listen to what Caitlin and Chloe are telling me.

Chad Mitchell [00:20:56]: I need to give them eye contact. I need to give them positive feedback that yes, I hear you. Keep going, keep telling me more. And it's through that listening that we're actually going to figure out things that we won't know unless we can have that empathetic listening and the discipline to be in the moment, to care more about what that person is saying than what we feel or what we want to do. And that is life changing. And you're right, Chris, in the story we talk about, you know, Hope Squad, they have had great success in reducing the number of suicides in the schools that they're at by helping our young people understand how important it is for these trusted peers to listen to their peers and then to be trained so that if someone is showing suicide ideation, they know what to do. And so I think listening and being in the moment and mirroring and practicing that with our daughters. And I don't mean practicing it in a way that is artificial, but I mean, dads step up, figure out how to do this because Anyone can do it.

Chad Mitchell [00:22:02]: Step up how to listen effectively to our daughters. And, you know, if you're doing it already, great, fabulous. If you're not, watch that relationship improve immensely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:11]: You have a lot of examples in the book also, such as Malala, Martin Luther King Jr. Huck Finn, people that were struggling or wrestling with courage, convictions, and choosing purpose over fear. How can dads invite their daughters into conversations about purpose, values, and doing the right thing, even when it might be hard?

Chad Mitchell [00:22:35]: Being a dad is hard. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. And so we signed up for hard things when we decided to be a dad. Right, Chris? I think being appropriately vulnerable with our daughters is a good thing. When we struggle with things, I think it's appropriate and good to share that with our daughters so that they understand that dad is just not this guy who bites down on his mouthpiece, grits his teeth and does things that are hard without feeling that they're hard. You know, he's just built that way. No, our daughters need to understand we struggle with those things. And sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes we're scared, and sometimes we don't know what to do because guess what? They're having all those same experiences.

Chad Mitchell [00:23:17]: But so often kids look at adults and they don't understand the struggles that adults are going through. And so I think as dads, really connecting our appropriate experience that are hard for us, that are challenging for us, where we make mistakes that are appropriate to share with our daughters based on their age, based on their circumstances, based on what we're going through, I think that's a great way for our kids to see the reality of what it means to live a life. It's hard. There'll be challenges, we'll make mistakes, but hey, dad can do it. He's not as funny as he thinks he is, and he can do it. I can do it, too. And I'm going to take confidence and examples from my dad, both his positive things and his negative things and the times he screwed up and use those to get through life when I do those same things.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:00]: Now, Chad, we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad Connection six, where I ask you six more questions, they delve a little bit deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready? You bet.

Chad Mitchell [00:24:09]: Let's do it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:10]: What's one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

Chad Mitchell [00:24:14]: Love.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:14]: What's the best piece of dad advice that you've ever received?

Chad Mitchell [00:24:18]: I don't know who to attribute this to, but it's dads Love your mother. Let your daughter see how you love their mother. Because we want our girls to choose that type of relationship for their spouses. And I know some of our listeners probably divorced. I haven't had that experience. I'm. I'm sensitive to it. And I would say, again, not having had that experience, if you can still love your wife at some level, your ex wife, I mean, that's going to help everyone in that relationship.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:47]: What's one activity that you and your daughters love doing together?

Chad Mitchell [00:24:50]: Going for walks, especially walks on the. On the Oregon coast. One of my favorite things. I love it. Hikes. Well, I love going hiking with the girls. I'm not sure they always like to go on the hikes, but we always had a good time, the way I remember it, at least.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:02]: Chris, if you could give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Chad Mitchell [00:25:08]: Follow Jesus Christ.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:09]: What's one thing you've learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Chad Mitchell [00:25:14]: I got a lot to work on.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:15]: And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Chad Mitchell [00:25:22]: Be authentic. Don't hide the hard parts of life from your daughters. You know, as appropriate, invite them into that. Let them see that there are things that you're great at, but there are also things that you struggle with, things that you're unsure about, because they're going to have all those experiences. And I think you equip them better to deal with them if you can have those discussions about your experiences when you're a father and their experiences as they go through teenagehood, which we know is a huge challenge.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:50]: Well, Chad, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being here today and for sharing everything that you've shared. If people want to find out more about you or the book, where should they go?

Chad Mitchell [00:25:57]: Well, I appreciate you having me on, Chris. This has been really fun. You ask really good questions. So hopefully these help the dads. If you want to find more out about me or my book, you can go to my website, jchadmitchell.com and the book will be available in January. And it's change your game. Empowering young leaders to ditch doubt, find their voice, and impact the world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:21]: Well, that wraps up today's conversation with Chad Mitchell and what a powerful reminder it was that our daughters matter. Their voices matter, their choices matter, and their leadership matters. As dads, we have the privilege of walking alongside them as they discover who they are and the impact they can have. Thank you for being a part of this community of fathers committed to raising strong, confident, compassionate young women. And if this episode encouraged you in any way, share it with another dad. We'll see you next week on the dad and Daughter Connection.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:57]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:07]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started. Because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting.

Hey dads, welcome back to Dad Connections in 5—the podcast that helps you grow closer to your daughter, five intentional minutes at a time. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're talking about something many of us face at one point or another:

How to reconnect with your daughter after a busy or stressful season of life.

Whether it's been work deadlines, health challenges, a family transition, or just the everyday chaos of life, there are times when we feel like we've lost touch. And if you're feeling that distance—you're not alone. The good news? It's never too late to reconnect.

Let's walk through how to rebuild that bridge—with honesty, humility, and a little creativity.

Here's the truth: Even when we're physically around, life can pull us emotionally away. And while your daughter might not say anything, she feels that shift.

Reconnecting shows her:

• That she's still a priority
• That relationships can heal and grow
• That you're willing to put in the work—even when things haven't been perfect

It's not about pretending nothing happened. It's about showing up again—on purpose.

You don't need a long speech. But a few honest words go a long way.

• "I know I haven't been as present lately."
• "Life got hectic, and I missed time with you."
• "I'd really love to reconnect. Can we start fresh?"

This models vulnerability—and invites her into a fresh chapter. You're showing her that relationships take effort, and that's okay.

Rebuilding doesn't need a grand gesture. Start small and stay consistent.

• Plan a quick walk together after dinner
• Grab a snack and sit with her while she studies
• Ask her to teach you something she loves (a game, a song, an app)

The key is: be fully present. Put down your phone. Make eye contact. Listen without multitasking. Even short moments can make a big impact—if you're all in.

Build something that belongs to just the two of you. It doesn't have to be elaborate—it just has to be repeatable.

• Weekly movie night
• Saturday coffee runs
• Monthly creative project
• Drive-around-and-chat sessions

When life gets chaotic again—and it will—this ritual becomes an anchor. A reminder that no matter how busy things get, there's still space for the two of you.

Here's your challenge: Reach out today and take the first small step.

It could be:

• A text: "I miss hanging out—want to do something together this week?"
• A conversation: "I know life's been hectic. I want to make more time for us."
• An invitation: "You free for a walk or some ice cream later?"

Don't wait for the perfect moment. Create one.

Because your daughter isn't expecting perfection—she's just hoping you'll show up.

That's it for today's episode of Dad Connections in 5. If this message hits home, share it with another dad who might be trying to rebuild a connection after a busy season.

Until next time—keep reaching out, keep rebuilding, and keep reminding your daughter that no matter what life throws at you, she'll always have your heart.

If you enjoyed this episode, we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads, welcome back to Dad Connections in 5—your five-minute guide to building stronger, deeper relationships with your daughter, one moment at a time. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're diving into a season that can feel like uncharted territory for a lot of fathers:

How to stay close to your daughter during the teenage years.

Let's be honest—this phase is a big shift. The little girl who once wanted to hold your hand at the park may now spend more time in her room, scroll her phone for hours, and roll her eyes more than she talks. But here's the truth that matters most:

She still needs you—just in a different way.

So today, I'll give you three practical ways to stay emotionally connected to your daughter through the ups, downs, and changes of the teen years.

These years are full of questions:

• "Who am I?"
• "Do I fit in?"
• "Can I trust myself?"
• "Do I have value, even when I mess up?"

And while your daughter might act like she doesn't want your input, what she really wants is for you to show up—consistently, calmly, and without judgment.

When you do that, you teach her:

• That her voice matters
• That she can trust herself and her choices
• That you'll be a steady presence, no matter what

Let's look at how to make that happen in everyday life.

In the early years, parenting was about protection and instruction. But now? It's about guidance and trust.

Instead of:

• "You need to do it this way,"

Try:

• "What do you think is the best next step?"
• "How did that decision feel afterward?"

This keeps the door open without shutting her down. Show her you're more interested in understanding than correcting—and she'll keep coming to you.

Teenagers crave freedom, but they also need structure and connection. Even if she's busier, you can build in small rituals that anchor your relationship.

• Weekly coffee runs or lunch dates
• Friday night walks
• Driving her to school and using that time to talk—or just be quiet together
• Sending a text that says "I believe in you" before big moments

These habits become a signal: "No matter how old you get, I'm not going anywhere."

The teen years can feel like emotional rollercoasters—and your daughter needs at least one person who stays calm, even when she's not.

When she slams the door, gets frustrated, or messes up:

• Don't match her energy.
• Don't make it about your disappointment.
• Instead, offer grace and presence.

Instead, say something like:

• "I'm here if you want to talk."
• "I'm still proud of you, even when things are hard."
• "This doesn't change how much I love you."

That kind of steadiness builds deep trust—and it lasts a lifetime.

Here's your challenge: Reach out to your teenage daughter today in a way that feels natural—but intentional.

• Send her a simple "thinking of you" text
• Ask how you can support her this week
• Suggest one small, low-pressure hangout (even if it's just picking up takeout together)

She might not always say it, but these gestures send the message loud and clear:

• "I'm still here. I'm still on your team. And I'm not giving up on staying connected—even when it's hard."

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. If you're in the thick of the teenage years—or you're about to be—just remember: connection during this season is about being present, patient, and persistent. You've got this.

Until next time—keep showing up, keep trusting the process, and keep being the dad she'll always know she can count on.

If you enjoyed this episode, we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community, and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads, welcome to another episode of Dad Connections in 5—your five-minute boost of practical advice to help you grow closer to your daughter, one conversation and one moment at a time. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're digging into a powerful parenting skill:

Turning life's curveballs into teachable moments.

Here's the truth—things don't always go as planned. Your daughter is going to face disappointment, frustration, failure, and change. She'll spill the milk, miss the goal, get the wrong grade, lose a friend, or just have one of those days.

And in those moments, how you respond can either shut her down—or help her grow.

So, let's talk about how to use unexpected challenges not as roadblocks, but as relationship builders and life lessons she can carry forward.

It's easy to teach when everything is going right. But the real magic happens when life isn't perfect.

When you step in with empathy, patience, and perspective, you help your daughter learn:

• How to handle stress with grace
• How to reflect, adapt, and move forward
• That she is never alone in her struggle

You're not rescuing her—you're coaching her through it. That's the kind of dad that changes lives.

Before anything else—take a breath. Challenges can trigger your emotions too. But your daughter is watching how you respond.

Instead of jumping into "fix-it mode" or reacting with frustration, model calm curiosity. Try:

• "That didn't go the way you wanted, huh?"
• "Do you want to talk about what happened, or just sit for a bit?"

Your calm presence sends the message:

• "This is hard, but we'll figure it out together."

After emotions settle, help her reflect—not by giving her a lecture, but by guiding her to think critically.

Try questions like:

• "What do you think went wrong?"
• "What would you do differently next time?"
• "What did you learn about yourself?"

You're teaching her that mistakes and challenges aren't dead ends—they're doorways to learning.

If she tried something hard and it didn't work out, highlight what went right—even if the result wasn't perfect.

Say things like:

• "I saw how much effort you put into that project—I'm proud of your dedication."
• "It took courage to step out of your comfort zone. That matters more than the result."

You're reinforcing that resilience and growth matter more than success on the first try.

Here's your challenge: The next time your daughter faces a challenge—big or small—pause and ask yourself one question:

• "How can I use this moment to help her grow?"

Then respond with:

• Calm support
• A curious question
• Encouragement for her effort

Even if it's just a spilled drink or a tough day at school, your reaction can help her learn that mistakes don't define her—they refine her.

That's it for this episode of Dad Connections in 5. If this helped you reframe those frustrating or messy moments as powerful teaching opportunities, share it with another dad who wants to show up with intention.

Until next time—keep showing up, keep asking good questions, and keep reminding your daughter that she's growing through it all—with you by her side.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

This week's episode of the "Dad and Daughter Connection" offers a heartfelt and inspiring look at the evolving relationship between a father and daughter as they navigate the world of competitive youth sports, college, and life beyond the field. Hosted by Dr. Christopher Lewis, this episode features David Murray, an acclaimed journalist and author of the new book "Soccer Dad," and his daughter, Scout Murray, who has just wrapped up a successful soccer career at Ohio University.

Unconditional Support & Independence

One of the episode's primary themes is the balance between support and independence in parenting. Scout Murray recalls how her dad never pressured her to follow a specific path and always backed whatever passion she pursued. As she puts it, "[My dad] always just made sure I knew that whatever my passion was, he was going to fully support it." This foundation of acceptance empowered her to chase ambitious goals in soccer—her journey marked by her own drive rather than parental expectations.

David Murray admits his lack of soccer expertise helped him stay out of "coach mode" and instead be a true fan and ally, which fostered a safe space for Scout Murray to grow.

Perseverance Through Challenges

The episode delves deeply into the resilience required to pursue high-level sports, particularly when the journey gets tough. Scout Murray shares powerful stories of long car rides to soccer tryouts, difficult transitions to elite teams, and the emotional strain of not always being a starter. The message? True growth happens when you face setbacks head-on, and finding the strength to persevere means knowing you have supportive people behind you.

Honest Communication & Emotional Openness

A standout part of David Murray and Scout Murray's story is their commitment to honesty and vulnerability. They discuss the importance of admitting mistakes, owning up to less-than-perfect parenting moments, and, above all, keeping communication open—even (or especially) in challenging times. As Scout Murray notes, being able to "share everything that was going on" helped keep their relationship strong through ups and downs.

Lasting Takeaways

Whether you're a dad, a daughter, or simply someone looking for insights into meaningful relationships, this episode offers encouragement to value presence over perfection and emphasizes that taking your child's challenges seriously is one of the greatest gifts you can give.

Want more of these hard-won life lessons and candid, touching stories? Give this episode a listen—you'll walk away inspired to build stronger connections with the ones you love. Catch it now on the "Dad and Daughter Connection."

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection. I am so excited that you're back with us again this week.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:57]: As always, every week, I love being on this journey with you. As you know, I'm a father of two daughters and this whole podcast was developed for you as someone that is also raising daughters today. And one of the things I love is that every week we can be on this journey together and you can gain something every week to help you to build those stronger connections that you want to have with your daughters. And we do that every week by having opportunities to talk to different people with different experiences that are able to bring those connections to the forefront, whether they're dads, moms, or other individuals that can help you to be that dad that you want to be. And today I'm really excited to be able to have two guests. David Murray and his daughter Scout are here and we're going to be talking about a brand new book that David has out called Soccer Dad. But we're also going to talk about the relationship that the two of them have together. And David is an author of a number of books including Soccer Dad.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:59]: So he has a number of books that are out there, but he's also an award winning journalist who's writing on sports and other subjects, has appeared in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, the Atlantic and other publication. And Scout is on her way to graduating from Ohio University after a successful career in soccer at Ohio University. So we're going to be talking about that as well. So I'm really excited to have them both here. David, Scout, thanks so much for being here.

Scout Murray [00:02:24]: Thank you.

David Murray [00:02:25]: Great to be here.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:25]: Well, I'm really excited to have you here today and I always start with these conversations with an opportunity to delve a little bit deeper into the connections that the two of you have. And I know we're going to dig into that a little bit more in the book, but I guess on the top end, first and foremost, Scout, I'm going to ask a question to you. As you think about the relationship that you've built with your dad, what's one thing that your dad did for you that made you truly feel seen, heard and valued as a daughter?

Scout Murray [00:02:54]: I would say he, since I was little, has always made it very clear that there was no pressure from him to do a specific thing. There was nothing that I felt like I had to do to make, like to impress him, I guess I would say. And he always just made sure I knew that whatever I. Whatever my passion was, he was going to fully support it. So I think when it came to soccer, he never told me what I should do, told me how I should go about things. He kind of just like followed my lead, I guess I would say. And I think that always made me feel super comfortable talking to him about anything, really.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:35]: And speaking of that, David, I think every dad tries to help to guide their daughters. And how did you balance guiding Scout while also giving her the independence to grow into the person she's become today?

David Murray [00:03:50]: Well, I think one of my qualifications for being a good soccer dad was that I don't know a damn thing about soccer and I never did. So it wasn't like we were in the car and I was giving her all this advice about how she should have played a certain way or certain shot. So I always kind of approached this as kind of a fan. To some extent, I was grateful that she did not play baseball or football or a sport that I even think I understand. So that was, I think, kind of my main qualification as a soccer parent and scout.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:22]: I guess looking back at the relationship you've built thus far as well, was there a moment where your dad's support or guidance really had a significant impact on your growth or your confidence?

Scout Murray [00:04:34]: There was one summer that I think stands out to me when we spent the entire summer going on visits. College visits, college soccer visits. Yeah. We would drive somewhere, oftentimes for seven hours. I would sleep the entire time. He would drive me. And I feel like, I mean, I didn't realize it at the time because I think I was extremely self centered. But looking back on that summer, I think that I look back on it a lot and I think it made me realize, like, how much he's willing to put in to show me how supportive he is of my passions and what I want to do.

Scout Murray [00:05:10]: So I think that moment is when I was like, okay, if I have this support system behind me, and I really want to do it. I should really just go for it. So I think that's when I really.

David Murray [00:05:21]: Realized that that was a hard summer for a number of reasons. And one of the reasons was it is horrible to travel with teenagers. They're either sleep or they're awake, and they're looking at Instagram and dying of fomo. Even though their friends are just kind of hanging out somewhere in Chicago, they're never there with you. And the second they are there with you, they're trying to get you to listen to their music, and you're trying to listen to it and care about it, but you can't quite do it well enough. And it was, like, the longest summer. We were hoping it would be fun. It was not really fun, but it was productive.

Scout Murray [00:05:59]: And it's good to look back on.

David Murray [00:06:01]: It is fun to look back on.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:02]: Yeah. So some of the things you're just talking about, there are finding intentional ways to build those bonds, and you sometimes are forced into those ways, but you also make those as well. So I guess, David, what are some intentional ways that you've worked to strengthen your bond with Scout, even when times might have not been the easiest? Or maybe it was challenging, like a trip where you're not talking a lot, but you're going places. But there's other times, especially in those teenage years. So what are some intentions, Ways that you've done that?

David Murray [00:06:34]: I mean, a lot of humor. I think she and I tease each other a lot and always have, and that has kind of never gone away, even in hard times. Just staying engaged, like, talking about everything, asking her about what's going on in her life, being up for hearing most of it. There's stuff, as a dad you don't want to hear a lot of. Like, during high school, there's a lot of social stuff that's uncomfortable to hear about. There was a show that Scout wanted me to watch that was. That was trying to portray. It was a show.

David Murray [00:07:04]: What was that show? It was about a high school in New York.

Scout Murray [00:07:07]: Oh, yeah. Grand army or something.

David Murray [00:07:09]: Grand army or. It was a show like that. And it was about this high school in New York where all these terrible things were happening. It was just high school society. And she said, you got to watch this, dad. You got to watch this to understand what this is like. And I was like, I hate this show. I.

David Murray [00:07:23]: And I watched four episodes and that as far as I could go. But I did watch the four. It was like shaving my head with a cheese Grater. Because it's just really hard. And I think about my parents. They were great parents, but they weren't getting down in there and engaging in ways like that. I had no company like that.

Scout Murray [00:07:39]: I do think we, even during hard times, are, like, very honest. And I think part of that is just, I'm an open book. I don't keep things in well. So I think instead of just acting out, I would act out and then be like, this is why I acted out. And we talk about it the next day. There was never a fight that wasn't talked about. I feel like if something happened, it was, well, this clearly needs to be talked about. So I think just, like, honesty and trying to just, like, share everything that was going on.

David Murray [00:08:09]: So you're taking credit for our wonderful.

Scout Murray [00:08:10]: I am. My openness.

David Murray [00:08:12]: I actually think that's true. I think there have been times where I've wished she would gild the lily a little bit and not tell me everything that's going on, but not so much. I mean, in the book. And the college experience was really interesting to me when I went off to college. And you might relate to this, too. I don't think I talked to my parents until Thanksgiving, and then I don't think I talked to them again until spring break. I mean, you'd had to go down the hall and call on the payphone and call. I mean, Scout would facetime me after practice on the way to class, and it was just no big deal.

David Murray [00:08:42]: It wasn't a show she was putting on. She was like, I had a bad practice, or I had a great practice, or, we were up way too late last night. And so. And we were always talking about this. In the book, I talk about, you know. You know, where my dad was during this time in his life. He was marching to Berlin in World War II. And I said, like, I wonder what his parents would have done if they'd had the same communications.

David Murray [00:09:04]: And they probably would have been sending him nice text messages about his march, wishing him well on his march to Berlin. It's a different time, but it's the technology, which we complain about a lot, which has ruined a lot of things, has made this kind of communication a lot more natural and easy. When we talk to our parents once every couple months, even if it's once a week, you were kind of putting on a show for him. You were telling him everything was all right. You were telling them you were getting good grades. And when it's. When it's daily like that, you can kind of maintain a More human, easygoing relationship, Definitely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:35]: Now, Scout, one of the things, I guess, that I'm interested in is the relationship with your dad. And how does that relationship influence the way that you navigate life, relationships, or challenges that you deal with?

Scout Murray [00:09:47]: Yeah, I think I've actually talked about this with my friends because I think a big thing in this. I see it a lot on social media is, like, if a woman has had a bad relationship with their father, they have a really hard time navigating relationships, especially, like, romantic relationships. And I think. I mean, he is just, like, set the expectation of, like, how a man should treat anyone, like, let alone women. And I think I've, like, taken that very seriously. And he always jokes about he's not the kind of dad that is, like, super mean and scary to any boyfriend I bring home, which I think is a good thing. But, yeah, just like, you don't need to be. I don't think.

Scout Murray [00:10:33]: I think I view men differently because of him. You don't need to be this extremely strong, masculine, crazy man. Like, you can just be a normal human being and emotional and kind.

David Murray [00:10:47]: And so I think I'm a big crybaby.

Scout Murray [00:10:49]: Yeah, he's a crybaby. So I think it's okay for men to.

David Murray [00:10:53]: I loved your episode not long ago that it's okay for dads to make mistakes and admit it, that one Scout does not need to listen to.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:00]: She.

David Murray [00:11:01]: I know that we get that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:03]: Speaking of mistakes there, David, I guess as you think about your relationship and how you've built that, what's a mistake that you've made as a father, and what did you learn about it or learn from it about fostering better communication with Scout?

David Murray [00:11:17]: Well, I talk a lot in the book about that as a soccer parent, but I think this is completely universally true. I think the fundamental problem of being a parent is you have two instincts, two things you need to do. You need to keep this kid alive. And in that way, you need to protect them and guide them and make sure they go in the right direction. But you also need to show this kid how to live, which means you let him do stuff. They do stuff. They make mistakes, they screw up. And in, you know, in soccer, that means, you know, not telling them.

David Murray [00:11:46]: You got to play on this team. You got to do this. You got to apply to this school. This is your life. Like, a lot of parents get really prescriptive, and they start pushing their kids in directions and to the point where the kid must start wondering, am I doing this for them or for me? I made Mistakes on the other side, at least in soccer, I don't know about it. In life, I let it all play out. I figured if she was talented enough and wanted it enough, it would happen for her. That turned out to be basically incorrect.

David Murray [00:12:16]: And we. And there were. There was a moment where she had to go up to a higher league. And that might have happened a year before had I been a little bit more on the ball. And I basically feel like I was lazy about that. But you make mistakes on each side of that equation. I think a lot. And I think the parents who in general figure out how much freedom to give and how much guidance to give, I think.

David Murray [00:12:38]: And I think that's a daily agonizing problem for every parent all the time. And I think I've done a decent job at that most of the time. But when I've made mistakes, I've made mistakes by being lazy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:48]: I think let's move over to the book too, because you started talking about that. And one of the things that I noticed early on in the book was that you describe the soccer journey as starting innocently enough and something and then slowly becoming something far more consuming. So I guess looking back together now for both of you, when do each of you think the dream subtly shifted into something heavier? And did you realize it at the same moment or at different times?

Scout Murray [00:13:15]: It's kind of a confusing story because I think if you asked me when I was seven what I wanted to do, I would say be a professional soccer player. I was very committed from an early. I mean, he still says I never, ever would have missed a soccer practice, ever. And it wasn't because I felt guilty. It was just because I genuinely loved soccer more than anything. And the soccer setting in Chicago is very interesting because it's not super, super high level inside the city. So I think I just was like, if I'm playing on a decent team and I'm the best player and I love all my teammates, I'm gonna play at a super high level. Like, I had never been told otherwise.

Scout Murray [00:14:00]: That's just kind of what everyone. I was known as the SOCCE player. I made varsity as a freshman at my high school. Everything was going. Seemed to be like, going great. And then right about when Covid hit, I started training with a new trainer. And he basically was like, if you don't get better, you're not going to play D1 soccer. Like, let alone the top schools, you're not going to play D1 soccer.

Scout Murray [00:14:23]: And that was a wake up call for sure. And I just Decided. I remember, like, I think I just one day was like, I need to change clubs. And I just decided, like, I need to step it up. Like, I just know I do. So we tried out for the best team in the state. And that was a terrible wake up call. I mean, so many tears.

Scout Murray [00:14:42]: Yeah, it was a terrible. So I think in that moment was when we both were like, oh, yeah.

David Murray [00:14:49]: There'S a scene in the book where she shows up at this tryout, and it is the best team in the state and maybe in the nation at that time. And so I was there with her. What we both saw, we were unprepared for it. And there was crying all the way home by her and silenced by me because I had nothing to say at that point. She had to switch clubs, and she had just gotten her driver's license. And now she's driving herself to an hour north of town for this soccer, for this torturous, incredibly hard, not very nice people around this team soccer. And she cried all the way up half the time, and she cried all the way back half the time, but she did it.

Scout Murray [00:15:27]: But that. I think that is when, like, we both realized. It wasn't even a question whether I was gonna do it either. I had a tissue box in the passenger seat and would, like, seriously cry because I dreaded it so much. And the fact that, like, it was just. I. I have, like, many notes that I wrote of me saying, this is all for a reason. Like, this is all for college.

Scout Murray [00:15:53]: So I think that's when I realized. Actually, I don't even think I realized it in the moment. I was just like, this is what I have to do. But I think looking back, that is, like, very telling of how much I really did want it and how much work I was willing to put in.

David Murray [00:16:07]: And nobody was telling her she had to do that. She decided to do that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:11]: What you just said there, not every person would be willing to keep going. And that says something to push through the pain of the hard times and come out at the. The other side of being able to play D1 soccer, even though you did have to go through some hard times to get there.

David Murray [00:16:28]: I mean, it's amazing. All parents look back. You see your kid as this little baby who basically couldn't feed herself. And you kind of. At some levels, at some level, you see them as that always. And then you look back and, like, I look back at what she went through with during COVID Cold calling these schools. Every. All these guys went through Covid.

David Murray [00:16:48]: Then all this torture of Driving to this. These horrible practices. Then there was tort that. That there was nothing guaranteed. Then it was more torture to get into colleges. And you just look back and go, this kid was just doing all that and just showing so much character. And you just kind of. I'm amazed.

David Murray [00:17:04]: Looking back at it, it looks more amazing. Going back at the time, I was not, like, cheering from the sidelines all the time. I was telling her, did you call? Did you email that? Those guys? But looking back, she did almost all that by herself, and it was amazing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:17]: You know, I think back in looking at the book scout, your dad wrote honestly about moments when his emotions or reactions didn't align with what you needed as a player or even as a daughter. So I guess as you think about that from your perspective, what do you most wish that parents understood about what kids actually feel during and after games?

Scout Murray [00:17:40]: I honestly think that's not an easy question to answer because I don't think there's anything that can be said. Like, unfortunately, I think. I mean, from my experience, I was, like, asking for something to be said, but whatever was said wasn't gonna work. And I knew that. But I think I would text him, how did you think I played? And I would never text him that if I played well. Like, ever, ever would I text him that if I played well? Because it's like, I. Well, I played great. Like, you saw it and I felt it.

Scout Murray [00:18:16]: But if I'm asking, what is he gonna say? Like, he's never gonna be like, you played bad. So I think it's just listening and just hearing, just letting any rant that needs to happen. And I honestly think the only thing you can do is say something positive that happened during the game. I think you did it as. As good of a job as that as you. Like, you worked as hard as you possibly could. He would always say that. And that's true.

Scout Murray [00:18:40]: That's something I can take away from that. Okay, I. I gave it everything I had. So I think just trying to find something positive to say, but other than that, just. I would say I would avoid any criticism in that moment. Any criticism, because maybe the next day or if they ask or something, but even if they ask right after the game, I would avoid any criticism, because I guarantee you there's already enough criticism inside our heads.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:07]: You know, David, also in the book, there's a number of moments where you name and own some moments when you became the kind of sports parent that you never wanted to be. How did you learn to recognize those moments in real time? And what helped you repair trust afterward with Scout?

David Murray [00:19:23]: Yeah, I don't think I needed to repair trust with Scout because I don't think Scout was the victim of those things. I don't think. But I remember in the book I talk about a moment when they were like 8 years old and this goalie let a ball through her legs and she was not a good goalie and suddenly was enraged at her and her parents for putting her out there.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:44]: And.

David Murray [00:19:44]: And I just. You must dissociate from it. I mean, what I really learned was don't sit with the other parents. The parents have this weird culture where they start to make comments and it starts to build on itself and they start complaining about the players and the refs and the coaches and it's like its own virus. So I took the lead of one of our parents who would just stand way down at the very end of the field by himself. If you do that, you're not going to be shouting crazy things at the players. You're down there by yourself. You're more likely to shout crazy things at the players when you're among the other parents and letting yourself get into arguments.

David Murray [00:20:19]: I would get into arguments with my wife because she had a different way of looking at the game. And I just started just getting away and being by myself. And the other thing that I learned, this was an accident, but I started doing, filming a lot of the games and taking pictures. And that was such a good instinct because it got me in the right frame of mind. It got me in the frame of mind as I'm trying to capture the beauty of this. Who cares if it's a 2 to 1 game in Schaumburg, Illinois, and they're 9 years old? Nobody's going to remember any of the scores. But if I take a wonderful picture of her coming down the sideline or of one of her teammates, then I've got that forever. And it doesn't matter what the score of the game was.

David Murray [00:20:55]: And doing that put me in the right spirit and got me out of the. The headspace of giving a crap who wins a game among 8 year olds.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:03]: I can definitely remember those type of games and I can definitely relate to what you're saying with how parents fed off of one another and how that built. So I appreciate you sharing that.

David Murray [00:21:14]: There was one time in the car on the way home where it was one of those games and the parents were all mad about how the team had played. And we're driving home in the car and Scout's mom and I Are, like, all quiet in the front seat. And I think she's still in our bed. Car seat in the backseat. She was that young. And I remember her going, wait, are you guys mad? She's incredulous. And we were kind of, like, sheepish, like, oh, I guess we are mad for some reason. Get over it now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:39]: Scott, one of the book's powerful moments or themes that I noticed was that how much you valued team connection and belonging, not just performance. So for you, when competition got intense, what helped you stay grounded in the joy and the relationships rather than the pressure?

Scout Murray [00:21:59]: I think that was something that, in college was really hard, and I would say a lot because of my parents, but I think all growing up, it was like finding the joy in the game and finding the joy in having these teammates. And we'd always watch this movie, Dare to Dream, which was. What was it?

David Murray [00:22:19]: The 199099 Women's World Cup.

Scout Murray [00:22:21]: Women's World cup team that was just so close and so had so much fun together. And so I think I really wanted to play D1 soccer because I love the game, but also because I know I've seen it, how close these teams get. And so I think that's what I wanted my whole life. And finally getting there, I did get all of that. I got my best friends, my future bridesmaids, hands down, the best friends I've ever had. But I think because it is such a competitive level, it was really hard for me to remember that at times. And I think it's hard to not become selfish, honestly, because at the end of the day, you never want to be the person that's not playing. There were times when I.

Scout Murray [00:23:09]: Every single one of my best friends were in the starting lineup, and I'm the only one that's not. And that was, like, really hard to deal with. Like, okay, I absolutely love these people, and I do anything for them. But I also hate you right now. I really do. Like, and it was really hard to, like, figure that out. And I think looking back, there were so many moments that I would hate them. At practice, we'd get in a fight.

Scout Murray [00:23:37]: I mean, this was, like, intense. Every single practice was, like, this intense. And then after, who would I be crying with about it? All of them. So it was just looking back, I'm like, I really was grounded the whole time. I knew these are my people. I think in the moment, though, it was hard to recognize that. But I think looking back, they were the reason why I was doing it. And if I didn't have them, I couldn't have done four years of such intense competition.

David Murray [00:24:06]: And I think Scout going in, valuing that made her very much of a social leader on the team. She wasn't the team captain, but in a lot of ways, I think if you ask these folks, she'd say she was a big important part of the bonding and culture of the team because she sort of knew going in that that was part of her mission. Maybe a little bit more than some of the other players knew going in.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:27]: Now, I know you both talked about the journey to the D1 and being able to get to that point in the scene in the book surrounding the Division 1 scholarship offer. It really was filled with, I could tell, relief, tension, second guessing, some silence. If you could revisit that car ride now, what would you say to your younger selves and what would you say to other families facing that exact moment?

David Murray [00:24:55]: I think that's partly just natural to feel that way. I would prepare people. It doesn't matter. If you want to be a physicist and you get into Harvard and you're going to be the great physicist, you go from the world being your oyster to a very specific thing that's now happening to you. College seems to close up the possibilities. And so even, yes, we'd gotten her scholarship dream. She was going to get a scholarship. She was going to play Division 1.

David Murray [00:25:22]: But, well, it's at this school, it's in Ohio. At that time, it was only a 1/3 scholarship offer. Did we do the right thing here? You feel like your aperture just gets narrowed and you go, this is my life now. I think I would advise people just to be prepared for that feeling. Honestly, I think it's kind of natural.

Scout Murray [00:25:39]: And I remember being very happy and just excited in the car while we.

David Murray [00:25:43]: Were yelling at each other.

Scout Murray [00:25:44]: Yeah, I was fine. I don't know about you, but I think it was also just a lot of fear. Like, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I didn't know anyone from Ohio. Every single person was from Ohio except for me. I had never heard of the school. I didn't know if I was good enough to play D1. There were so many things that I think it was just like a lot of fear.

Scout Murray [00:26:06]: And I would say the same for you. We had just had no idea what we had just signed up for and we were just going with it.

David Murray [00:26:13]: I don't think I'd tell anybody how not to feel that way. That's how you feel when you take a big risk.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:18]: So, Scout, your dad said at the beginning you played Your last soccer game for ou. Now that you're on the other side of the journey, what did soccer give you that still shapes who you are today? And what, if anything, did it take that surprised you?

Scout Murray [00:26:32]: I think I now know how much strength I have and how much I really can do if I really want something. And I would say all the little things that I did, one moment in particular is in the middle of my junior year season. I had just come back from an injury. I was no longer playing much. I had gone from starting to playing 20 minutes a game. And I was so deeply wounded. I genuinely felt like I was heartbroken. And I still got up every morning at 6am in the cold, dark weather and practice extra for an hour before practices.

Scout Murray [00:27:12]: And I think knowing that even when I'm in that deeply sad state, I can still do really hard things, I think I can take for the rest of my life, even when things aren't going well or I had no idea if going extra was going to make me play. There was no promises. So I think I can take that into my job, my relationships, into a lot of areas in my life. Something that it took from me, I actually don't know.

David Murray [00:27:39]: I talk in the book about the opportunity cost of all this. When your kid's little, you want them to see all of life. You want them to see every aspect. You want to introduce them to art and music and books and culture and places and Paris and Istanbul. And I'm a journalist and so I. I saw a lot in life and I wanted her to see everything. And I will say that if you get your kid involved in youth sports, that eliminates some of those things. We did a lot.

David Murray [00:28:09]: Scout went to China on an exchange program. We went to Thailand. We did a lot of stuff as a family, and she did a lot of stuff herself. Soccer wasn't her whole life, but even so, you spend a lot of time at Hampton Inns, you spend a lot of time on the road to soccer tournaments, and you spend a lot of the time think and talking about soccer. And so I don't know if Scout feels that cost or something, but when I imagine all the possible things Scout could have experienced in her first 21 years, I think soccer sort of eliminated some of those things. And I think that's a fact of life. With as intense as modern youth sports.

Scout Murray [00:28:44]: Are right now, I don't even think I would say I missed a ton in my youth because of soccer. Maybe I did, but I would say mostly like college, if you decide to play college sports you have to accept that you're going to miss. I mean, I don't have many friends outside of my team is one thing, and that sucks. I mean, they're my best friends, but we're all pretty similar in a lot of ways. We have a lot of the same interests and goals. So I think that is something I missed out on. Meeting a lot of different, interesting people and not being able to travel abroad. I think there was a lot of stuff that I definitely.

Scout Murray [00:29:22]: College sports are. It's a job. It is truly a job, and you need to be prepared for that, because I don't think we knew exactly how much. I mean, I don't regret it at all.

David Murray [00:29:33]: But I mean, I remember asking the coach, and I didn't want her to join a sorority, but I said, could she join a sorority, for instance? And he's like, no. No one's ever done that. She's in her sorority. It's called the soccer team.

Scout Murray [00:29:45]: And I think it's year round, too, which I think D3 is much less year round. And I think people often say, like, well, you're out of season now. It's like, no, it's still practice every single day. And. And. And someone asked me today actually, how are you feeling about soccer ending? And I'm like, you know, I'm really sad, and I think the sadness will hit me later on more. But I am also enjoying being a regular person right now and thinking about my career. I've truly never really had to think about my career until now.

Scout Murray [00:30:18]: So I think I'm really excited for grad school because that's kind of my time to just be a normal person and dive into my passion in psychology.

David Murray [00:30:27]: So, yeah, there was a moment when Scott was thinking about trying to go pro and play in Europe, and she said, you know what? How about not? How about let's figure out what else I'm good at? Which I thought was a good spirit.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:37]: You know, I guess the one last thing that I think of when I think of the book is if you are talking to a dad, a dad's listening right now that has a young daughter just starting in her sports journey, whether it's soccer or some other sports. What's one piece of advice that you'd give him so he stays connected to his daughter, not just her performance.

David Murray [00:30:57]: I think it's the same advice that my dad gave me. It was his philosophy of raising kids. I think it's so easy as a parent to see that what kids are dealing with, whether it's soccer stuff or whether it's friend stuff that it's kid stuff that small problems, you have a mortgage to pay. This kid only has some little dispute with her third grade buddy. To the extent that you can take their problems as seriously as your problem because they're actually much more serious because they're dealing with that for the first time. I've paid my mortgage a thousand times, but they're dealing with that for the first time. And there were times when I didn't do that as a dad. Scub's probably thinking of it right now.

David Murray [00:31:37]: One time I got so flustered at the amount of sturm undrang about her seventh or eighth grade friends, I yelled, these aren't your friends. These are practice people. Incorrect thing to say. But you feel that way as a parent a lot. I think to the extent that you can take your kids problems as seriously as you take your own because they are serious, you do a pretty good job of parenting if you do that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:01]: Well, we always finish our interviews of what I like to call the dad connection six and a lot of times it's just a dad on the call. So I love it when we have a dad and a daughter on because I'll ask you both some questions here. First and foremost, scout. What's one word that describes your relationship with your dad?

David Murray [00:32:17]: Easy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:18]: And how about you, David?

David Murray [00:32:19]: I would say close.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:21]: Scout. What's the best piece of dad advice you've ever received?

Scout Murray [00:32:25]: I actually told him this yesterday when I was younger. He said I was complaining about having to do something I didn't want to do, soccer homework or something. And he said what's a professional? And I said what? And he said someone that does something even when they don't want to do it. And I've definitely taken that I told him yesterday much. I don't think he realizes every morning that I had to go early to soccer practice and didn't want to. I would think about that. So that's definitely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:55]: Yeah, good job. And David, I'm gonna flip it back on you. What's the best piece of dad advice you've ever received?

David Murray [00:33:03]: The best piece of advice I got was from a paramedic pal in Chicago who about a week before my daughter was about to be born, he saw that I was, I don't know, I was acting nervous or something. He said, what's the matter? I said, I'm nervous. He said, why? I said, well, well, parenting. He said, what do you think that is? Parenting? Do you think that's like some set of tricks that you're gonna put out there and say all the right things at the right times. He said, no. Ultimately, your kids get you and your wife for 18 years, and you can try to be as good as you can, and you can try to use as many techniques as you want, but basically, if you're good, that's good, and if you're bad, that's bad. And that gave me a sense of comfort. Like, I knew that basically I'm good, basically my wife is good, and that we could only screw this up so much at that point.

David Murray [00:33:49]: And I think that gives you a little bit of confidence, I think.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:52]: Scout, what's one activity that you and your dad love doing together?

Scout Murray [00:33:56]: Playing tennis.

David Murray [00:33:57]: And lately, billiards.

Scout Murray [00:33:58]: Yeah. Playing pool is our new obsession.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:01]: And, David, do you echo that, or is there something else that you would add to that?

David Murray [00:34:05]: Well, I like running half marathons with her, but she hasn't done it since she was 11, so I guess that's out. I love playing sports with her when she was little. I say in the book, a lot of parents are living vicariously through their kids. That's why they. They had kids in sports. I just wanted a playmate. I wanted somebody to play with, and she was always great. From, like, 2 or 3 years old, she would be in pretty competitive sports with me.

David Murray [00:34:26]: And she was my sports buddy growing up. So we still are.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:29]: And, David, a couple of questions for you. If you could give Scout one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

David Murray [00:34:35]: It would be my dad's lesson to me, which was, this was in. In the old timey, sexist way. But he would say, every once in a while, a fellow ought to do something he's a little afraid of. And there have been times in life when I was on the edge of doing something and thought, should I do this? This is scary. And I did that thing, and I think it's always been good.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:56]: And what's one thing you've learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

David Murray [00:35:00]: Oh, that I'm an emotional disaster. I like, I don't know how this is with you, but I think about in my 20s, I think I cried maybe once a year. In my early 30s, before I had Scout, maybe I found some reason to cry once a month because I'm movie or something. As soon as she was born, I cry at card tricks and supermarket openings every day. I cry just about every day. I just finished reading the audible version of this book. Yesterday was my last studio session. There's some emotional spots at the end.

David Murray [00:35:32]: It was so embarrassing. I Just could not get through it. And it is totally obnoxious if you're listening to an audiobook and the author starts crying. So I simply wasn't going to put up with that. But I had to do like, like five takes. So I think I've learned that about myself. I'm emotional and I like that. That's.

David Murray [00:35:47]: I'm much more emotionally open than my father was. And I feel good about that, actually.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:35:52]: And finally, for both of you, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Scout Murray [00:36:00]: I would say from an early age, try to be as open and honest as you can, because I think kids pick up on that. That and from an early age it was very clear that there was never lying, there was never secrets. And I think that like really stuck with me. And I was raised with the impression that it was always okay to be honest about how you're feeling and not build up resentment. So I think, and I think sometimes that's hard. I have friends that aren't close with their dads and I think it's because neither of them are honest and neither of them share when they're upset with each other. And I think doing that will create a good atmosphere.

David Murray [00:36:41]: I think I learned while being honest with her when she would ask me difficult questions when she was young, questions I wasn't sure I should answer. I think I also learned that kids, when they ask you a question, they will let you answer and they'll stop asking questions when they don't want any more information. I can't think of an example right now, but there were times where she would ask me a question, maybe about how babies are born or where all this stuff, and you would answer to a point and then the kid would stop asking and then two years later they'd start asking again. And so I felt that you deciding what kids should and shouldn't hear or can and can't handle, they kind of actually decide it for themselves and they take care of their own business in that way. And you should err on the side of telling more, I think.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:37:23]: Well, Scout David, I really want to say thank you. Thank you so much for being here today. David, if people want to find out more about you and the book, where should they go?

David Murray [00:37:30]: They should go to a website called soccer dad story.com you can prerequisite ordered the book. The book is out April 14, but it's available for pre order now wherever books are sold. And it's available in the audible version, which as I said I just finished and I think it's a fun listen.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:37:46]: Well, again, thank you both so much for your time today and for sharing your story. And scout, I wish you the best as you move into the next phase of your existence post soccer. Now you can sit and watch soccer and enjoy that instead of being on the field specifically, or at least having the pressure of being on a D1 team.

Scout Murray [00:38:07]: Exactly. Exactly.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:09]: Well, I wish you both the best.

Scout Murray [00:38:10]: Thank you so much.

David Murray [00:38:11]: Thanks so much for having us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:13]: That's a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect. It's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can find all our [email protected] until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:38:43]: We're all in the same boat and it's full of tiny screaming passengers Messengers we spend the time we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game? Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen Carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world too now Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can be.

If you're a father seeking practical wisdom to nurture your connection with your daughter, this week's episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection is exactly what you need. Host Dr. Christopher Lewis welcomes psychologist and author Dr. Kathy Wu to dive deep into what it really means to support your daughter through today's unique pressures and challenges.

The conversation kicks off with stories from Dr. Wu's own girlhood—memories not marked by grand gestures, but by the steadfast presence of her dad. As Dr. Wu puts it, feeling seen and valued came from her father's "indelible capacity to just always be present." This consistent support gave her the freedom to explore life, make mistakes, and develop the confidence to always figure things out.

But presence is only one part of the equation. As today's teens grow up surrounded by social media pressures, perfectionism, and chronic stress, Dr. Wu's new book, The Self Regulation Handbook for Teens and Young Adults, provides evidence-based tools for building emotional resilience. The episode highlights that kids don't learn self-regulation or coping from lectures—they learn it from relationship. Regular, everyday moments—sharing a meal, taking a walk, or simply listening—are where trust is built and emotional intelligence flourishes.

A recurring theme is patience. Dr. Wu emphasizes that supporting your daughter isn't about fixing her problems or making her perfect. Instead, model emotional honesty, validate her experiences, and collaborate. Whether it's managing big emotions or navigating anxiety, being physically and emotionally present is more valuable than having the right answers.

Self-compassion also takes center stage. Dr. Kathy Wu reminds dads that there's no formula for "doing it right." Each father-daughter relationship is unique. It's about understanding, consistency, and unconditional regard—being a grounding presence in your daughter's life.

Perhaps the most powerful takeaway? "Your daughter doesn't need your perfection—she needs your presence." This episode is packed with heartfelt stories, expert advice, and concrete strategies that every dad can use right away. If you care about raising confident, independent daughters, don't miss it.

Tune in to the Dad and Daughter Connection and start building that lifelong bond today!

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection. I am so excited that you are back again this week because every week you, you and I are on a journey together.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:00]: We're on a journey as we are working together to be able to find the best way to be able to build those strong relationships, those strong connections that we want to have with our own daughters. And today on the dad and Daughter Connection, we're diving into a topic that every dad needs in his toolkit. How to support daughters growing up in a world full of pressure, stress, and constant change. Today Our guest is Dr. Cathy Wu. She's a licensed psychologist, a former professor, and the author of a new book called the Self Regulation Handbook for Teens and Young Adults. Her work is trauma informed, practical and compassion based, giving you real tools to help help your kids navigate anxiety, emotional disconnection, perfectionism, social pressure, and all of that turbulence that ends up happening during those years that they're growing up. I, I really love the fact, as I was reading it myself, that this book is really grounded in evidence based approaches and is written in a way that you can understand, but actually your teens can actually understand.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:08]: And it's written in a way that your teens would actually read. So for me, that's a positive because you never know what they're going to read. But the book itself has a ton of real life scenarios on topics that kids are dealing with. Things like calming skills and strategies to help young people build resilience, confidence and emotional self regulation. So I'm really excited to have Kathy here today for her to be able to share with you not only some of her own experience in being a daughter, but also some of the experiences from being a, from being a psychologist and from what she put out into the world through this new book. Dr. Wu, thanks so much for being here today.

Dr. Kathy Wu [00:02:48]: Thank you so much. That was such a lovely Introduction.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:51]: I really appreciate you being here. As I mentioned, you are a daughter, and I love being able to kind of delve a little bit deeper into your own relationship with your father because that can help to better understand who you are today. So I guess one thing that I'd love to ask you about is what's one thing that your father did that made you truly feel seen, heard, and valued as a daughter?

Grant Voisinet [00:03:15]: I can't say that there was one thing, but I think through the combination of his capacity to be very practical as a dad of not just one daughter, but three daughters and a son, he was someone who we didn't necessarily run to when we had distress, but we always knew he was going to be there in the sense that he was very predictable, very consistent and persistent with his presence. He didn't always have the best things to say or the most profound things to say, but he very much was always a present figure. It did help that we had a family business and we all sort of worked together as well. But I think for my sense of feeling seen, it was just his indelible capacity to just always be present and. And I think that really gave me the sense that I was going to be okay if there was anything that I needed to feel his support around.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:10]: Thinking back, was there a moment where your dad's support or guidance truly had a significant impact on your own growth or confidence?

Grant Voisinet [00:04:18]: Yeah, again, multitudes. I think there's been a lot of moments where I've gone to him and wondered, what am I going to with my life? How can I sort of navigate through some of the challenges? And he always said something that resonated and I believed, and that was, I trust you to figure it out. And that sort of capacity to trust me and his moment of going, well, Kathy, I've never had to worry about you. I've never had to stay up late at night wondering what you'll end up doing or how you'll navigate your choices in life. I just. You're not someone I necessarily worry about. And that gave me so much of a sense of freedom to be able to explore. Yes, I've had quite a few different sort of stops and starts with regards to career paths and such, but he always knew that.

Grant Voisinet [00:05:07]: I think, and I truly do sort of credit him to this, is that I will figure it out.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:12]: How has your relationship with your father influenced the way that now you feel like you navigate life, relationships or challenges?

Grant Voisinet [00:05:21]: He never really had big emotions anytime when I was seeing him with his. His own challenges, either through his relationship with my mom, who's a lot more vocal and emotionally expressive. He always just seemed so even keeled. And I think that really did sort of set the stage and model for me that my first response shouldn't be through just shouting or yelling or throwing things or blaming or. Or not taking full stock of what's happening. So he was very well measured. I don't know where he got it from, but he had the capacity and he has. He still does have the capacity, sort of sit in that space.

Grant Voisinet [00:05:58]: He's not a man of many words, truly. You can sit in the car with him for miles and miles and he'll say really very little. But when the time came for him to respond, it's sort of. He had the capacity to just sort of be very wise with his sort of conceptions of what the issue might be, but never ever said things like, I think you should do this. He'll sometimes say, ask your mom what she thinks. But really, it was just. Just lots of reassurance that things will be okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:27]: Is there anything that you wish that your father had done differently when it came to building your relationship as a homeowner?

Grant Voisinet [00:06:33]: Now I have a lot of sort of little projects that I have to do around the house, and it's something that I felt like I was able to kind of see him experiment with and he was able to just fix things and be a handyman. And as a result, I've gained some bit of a confidence and be able to try things myself. But one example comes to mind, and that was during my postdoctoral training. I was on the way to this day treatment program where I was working, and I got a flat on my car and I didn't know what to do because I never learned to switch my tires out. But I was able to call on to two of my colleagues, co interns, and they rolled their sleeves up and they were able to go in and switch out the nuts and the bolts and get it all done. And in that moment, while I was so grateful for their help, I was going, well, how come dad never asked, never taught me this? So he didn't really intentionally seek out to teach me any skills. It was all sort of through osmosis or through observations. And I do wish that at times that he had looked to, hey, what are Kathy's capabilities? And to be able to do a little more guiding and showing as opposed to me just sort of learning through observation.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:47]: If you could spend an entire day with your dad doing anything, what would it look like?

Grant Voisinet [00:07:52]: I think it would just be taking a walk, having a good meal, perhaps doing something a little bit more passive. Because I don't necessarily look to him to sort of have these moments where he is wanting to teach a lesson or talk about himself actually. So so much of it is just very quiet with him and just his presence is enough for me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:13]: Now I mentioned you've got a new book, the Self Regulation Handbook for Teens and Young Adults. And I guess first and foremost, before I get into the meat of the book and some of the things that I noticed as a author myself, I know the amount of time, effort, passion you have to have to get to the finish and getting this out into the world. So talk to me about what led you to decide to take that jump, to jump in and to put in that time, effort and passion into creating this and putting it out into the world.

Grant Voisinet [00:08:42]: I think I did it out of practicality, to be honest, Chris, and that is I found that I have compiled all of this knowledge and all of these tools, but really didn't have like a centralized place to direct some of my clients to or to be able to even organize my own thoughts. Sometimes as we sort of pick up new skill sets and knowledge, they come in a more or less a haphazardous way, right? Yes, we do sort of intentionally seek out knowledge, but sometimes they're very much just sort of shoved into different file cabinets in our brains. And so this was an opportunity, I thought, for me to organize everything around a central theme, but to also be able to tell a client, hey, this thing we just talked about in session today, I really like for you to learn a little bit more about it or if you're curious about other things related, here is this toolkit and it's packed chock full of really practical skills, as you have mentioned before. And I think they're good to have as just a reference on a coffee table, for instance, so that you really begin to activate and use and repeat. So that becomes secondary skills for a person. And so yeah, I was born out of necessity and practicality, really. And it's also nice to be able to get back to sort of the academic brain, which I left a couple of years ago in pursuit of more robust clinical practice.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:01]: In your book you talk about teens growing up in a world of chronic trauma. Everything from political upheaval to social media pressures, I guess, for dads listening who want to be a calming presence instead of another source of overwhelm. What does showing up as a trauma informed parent actually look like in everyday moments?

Grant Voisinet [00:10:23]: I think when showing up for a child, it's less about big moments, it's more about everyday consistency. So I really think that being able to respond to the small stuff. The Gottman Institute, who talks about relationships and intimacy building, right. That the. But in sort of a context of family or a romantic partnership, really draws on this idea of emotional connection and bids that I think is applicable for adult parents and children. So when your daughter tells you maybe a random story from her day, treat it like a window into her world. And those moments really count and allow for the development of trust and allowing for the daughter to be able to talk about bigger things with you when those moments come. I think doing things together certainly is really helpful.

Grant Voisinet [00:11:08]: So share activities, cooking, hiking, walking, fixing things, as I mentioned, really create a natural space for conversation and connection. And what we know is that studies have shown that shared experiences are one of the strongest predictors of closeness. And then finally, if I had to just say one more thing, and it is really model emotional regulation and emotional honesty. And when dads show that they are okay with expressing sort of feelings of frustration, nervousness, pride, daughters, they learn how to emotionally identify as well as be able to regulate from that. So you're really teaching her how to handle life just by being real and being honest and being responsive and sort of holistic in how it is that they're navigating the world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:55]: Another powerful idea from the book is that self regulation is like a superhero skill. What are some ways fathers can help their daughters build that skill? Especially if they struggle with big emotions, anxiety, or shutting down?

Grant Voisinet [00:12:11]: I think this is something that perhaps as I'm thinking more about my own relationship with my father is just the patience. I think that the patience that he was able to show, and I think that more fathers can show, can really allow for a daughter or child to not feel judged based on whatever experiences that they're having or having challenges with. So in order for them to have the capacity to problem solve, right. It's that space gives them enough time to be able to conjure up their own inner strength, to be able to work through some of the challenges. So it's not about helping them resolve a problem, it's about guiding them along the way and again, reinforcing this idea of autonomous decision making and problem solving.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:55]: You know, a lot of dads say that they want their daughter to talk to them, but that she just won't open up. Based on your work with emotional disconnections, what advice would you give the dads trying to help their daughters feel seen, safe and Understood without pushing too hard.

Grant Voisinet [00:13:12]: I think that when it comes to feeling seen, it's ultimately helping a daughter feel that their capacity to sort of taking the world is one that is valid and that is under development and really being able to see that they'll need to get be perfect at resolving any conflicts or issues and they don't have to have the perfect words to describe what is going on makes a huge difference. And so what we really want to help dads understand about their daughters is that they're looking for you to be there to sort of have this sense of grounding, that no matter what happens when they are out in the world, the dad or the parental figure will still have this unconditional regard for them. So it's not about just pushing for them to talk because they do need space, especially during the adolescent years, to sort of experiment and seek out new novelty and experiences, but really to feel that when they come home to you, come home, that you'll always be consistent.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:17]: I love that The. I love the fact that your book blends both humor, compassion, and psychology in a way that I could relate to, but also I could tell that that teens could relate to. How can dads use the same approach with practical skills, you know, not lecturing or passing on judgment to help their daughters navigate through emotions like perfectionism or burnout or comparison.

Grant Voisinet [00:14:42]: I think that the reason why perhaps my book feels effective as well as the ways I navigate my client relationships feel really effective, is that I show up as myself. I'm not coming in with any sort of pretenses. I'm not using necessarily jargon because I think they think I will be cool. I think I show up and really I affirm their effort. I affirm their character. I don't look at just their sort of grade or what have you, right? So I really sort of value and respect and honor their presence. And I think fathers can definitely do the same with their daughter. That, with that said, you know, don't necessarily leave out the.

Grant Voisinet [00:15:20]: The dad jokes and, and all of that. Be yourself. And if you're going to be a little goofy or unsure, it's okay. I mean, your daughter might sort of roll their eyes and not again, but deep down they understand that you're trying.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:33]: Another thing that you talk about in the book is the importance of self compassion. Many dads struggle with wanting their daughters to be strong while not being overwhelmed. How can fathers model self compassion in a way their daughters will actually learn from?

Grant Voisinet [00:15:50]: One thing that I want to remind the parents of daughters that I'm working with are teen daughters in particular is this is all new. It's new for you, it's new for them. And there's no right or wrong way to go about it. It's what's right for you and your child. And I think sometimes parents have a sense that they are doing it wrong, but the person to really judge that is your daughter and yourself in a way that doesn't necessarily factor in societal expectations as heavily. So I think it's really important for parents to see that there's not sort of a one side size fits all approach. It's really about what works for you and your family.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:31]: You talk about grounding mindfulness and coping routines that teens can use when emotions get intense. Because let's be honest, they can get intense. If a dad noticed his daughter is anxious or spiraling or overstimulated, what's a supportive response or even a simple script that he could use in that moment?

Grant Voisinet [00:16:53]: There are fortunately really well meaning words that sometimes can stifle conversation or ways in which a daughter might feel that she is able to be fully expressive of her emotions in that moment. And I think that sort of leads back to why I think my relationship with Bai dad was so effective. And that is he wasn't very quick to tell me anything. Sometimes just being able to leave that space open was good. And there was a lot of reflecting back. Oh, you feel angry, oh you feel misunderstood. Oh you feel unseen. And that really sort of was all I needed.

Grant Voisinet [00:17:30]: I didn't need anything else from those interactions. And sometimes I think there were moments in which for me, I wanted my dad to self disclose a little bit more. Hey, when I was your age, I experienced this. He didn't do as much of that. But I think that the sense of relatability is what a lot of teen daughters want from their parents as well. From my experience with clients, they just feel like their parents didn't exist before they became their parents. And I think having insight into their background and their upbringing and their development is also really important to continue to build that intimacy and that relationship.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:03]: The final thing that I thought about as I was looking at this book and reading through it is that a lot of dads want to be fixers. They want to fix things fast. But your book emphasizes letting teens have the autonomy and the choice. How can fathers balance offering help with giving daughters independence so that support doesn't feel like pressure?

Grant Voisinet [00:18:26]: I think collaboration is really key, especially during this phase of life. It's being able to say, hey, let's problem Solve together. Let's come to some sort of consensus as to what would be helpful and providing maybe menu items like if I were in this predicament or this situation, if I were feeling this way, I would do X, Y and Z. Is there one that you might be interested in from this, this list that I just provided. But really being able to say, you know what, I'm going to leave it to you to ultimately decide what you're going to act on because you're going to actually deal with the consequences of those behaviors. And so being able to say I'm here with you, I'm here, I'm going to though not be providing you all the answers. I will provide guidance if you ask me is really important during this phase of development. So in other words, be physically present.

Grant Voisinet [00:19:18]: Offer not just kind of this open ended help, but rather like hey, if there are some practical things I can help you with at this point, here's what I can do and you have to tell me how this fits into your scheme of what, what the situation is and what you you believe the resolution could be. So collaboration.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:36]: Now, we always finish up our interviews with what I like to call the dad connection 6. Now, I usually have these questions for dads and I'm going to ask you four of the six because most of them are geared toward dads, but there's four of them that I want to get your perspective on. What's one word that describes your relationship with your dad?

Grant Voisinet [00:19:54]: Peaceful.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:55]: What's the best piece of dad advice that you've ever received?

Grant Voisinet [00:19:58]: You'll be fine.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:59]: What's one activity that you and your dad love doing together? Eating any type of food, Anything. What advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Grant Voisinet [00:20:12]: Be emotionally present.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:13]: Well, Dr. Wu, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being here today. If people want to find out more about you and about the book, where's the best place for them to go?

Grant Voisinet [00:20:22]: The best place to go for the book is at any bookstore or online retail. And my website is woopsychology.com I don't have any social media, unfortunately, but that's it. And you can find more information out through Ulysses Press, which is the publisher for the book as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:40]: Okay, dads. So this episode has been a powerful reminder that our daughters don't need us to be perfect dancers. They just need us to create safety. So I really appreciate that Dr. Wu was able to show us that self regulation isn't just a coping skill. It's a lifelong superpower and that all dads can help build it every day through empathy, patience and presence. So I highly encourage you to pick up the book and I'll put a link in the notes today because it truly does give you a lot of these tools. A lot of the things that Dr.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:14]: Wu is talking about, it's all there in print. It's things that you can share with your own daughter for her to read. And I guess if you remember one thing from today's episode, I would say this Kids don't learn emotional self regulation from lectures. They learn it from relationship. So when your daughter's overwhelmed, she's scared, she's angry, or maybe she's silent. She needs your presence, not your perfection. So, Dr. Wu, I just want to say thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:40]: Thank you so much for being here today, for everything that you shared today, and I truly wish you all the best.

Grant Voisinet [00:21:45]: Thank you so much. This was a pleasure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:47]: That's a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect. It's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share this video it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time. Keep showing up, keep connecting and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:18]: We're all in the same boat.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:24]: And.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:24]: It'S full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:32]: We give the lessons, we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game.

Musical Outro Performer [00:22:45]: Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen carpenters and must some men get out and be the world to them.

Musical Outro Performer [00:23:05]: Be the best dad you can be.

Musical Outro Performer [00:23:11]: Be the best dad you can be.