The Dad & Daughter Connection

What does it mean to be fully present for your daughter? In the latest episode of the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Mark Reinisch, author of The Wellness Ethic, to explore the art and heart of intentional, love-centered fatherhood. If you want practical insights, real stories, and meaningful encouragement for nurturing your most important relationship, this episode is for you.

Mark reigns as the perfect guest, bringing not just expertise—he's the father of two daughters—but also vulnerability and wisdom from his personal journey. His story of supporting his daughter Emma through a multi-year struggle with chronic headaches and migraines is deeply moving. Through overwhelming medical challenges, Mark witnessed Emma's resilience and learned the profound impact a father's presence and support can make. Moments of victory, like the day her headaches disappeared, offer hope and inspiration for any parent facing adversity.

The episode's main theme is clear: wellness is not a luxury—it's a responsibility. Drawing from his book, Mark emphasizes that love is "the north star" of wellness for dads. He shares honest lessons learned, admitting mistakes like being overbearing in sports and how tuning in to your daughter's interests, at her pace, creates deeper bonds. This is connection not as a grand gesture but as a daily practice—being present, listening, showing up for games, carving out one-on-one time, and evolving alongside your daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis and Mark discuss responding to your daughter's stress and imperfection with compassion, modeling vulnerability, and reframing setbacks as opportunities. Mark's "accept, frame, respond" model from his book is a powerful tool for helping daughters build lifelong resilience and self-compassion.

Another gem from this episode is applying the 80/20 rule: focus on the vital few actions that make the biggest difference in connection, knowing every child's needs are unique.

This conversation isn't obsessed with perfection—it's grounded in love and presence. As Mark Reinisch says, "Connection will evolve as you both grow, but nurture it, and love will always be there."

Whether you're a seasoned dad or just starting out, these lessons will change how you show up for your daughter—and for yourself. Listen now to the Dad and Daughter Connection podcast and start building stronger bonds today!

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:12]: If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started, because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting. Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have an opportunity to work together to welcome on this journey that we're on with our own daughters. And today on the dad and Daughter Connection, we're driving into a conversation every father should hear.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:07]: Our guest is Mark Reinish, author of a new book called the Wellness Ethic. It's a thoughtful and often humorous guide to living a more intentional, joyful and love centered life. In his book, Mark introduces concepts like the Wellness Ethic, which is a valued centered devotion to wellness, and the idea of the self actualized genius, which is that inner voice that encourages us to be our best self. So throughout the book, I really love the fact that he blended personal stories, self reflection, mindset tools and the 8020 rule to make wellness accessible and realistic. And he brings a perspective that matters to this show specifically because he's a father of two daughters himself. So today we're going to be talking about his own journey as a father, but also we'll be talking about some of the things that he learned in writing this book and some of the connections between being a father and what he was sharing in this book for you. In reading the book myself and looking through the book myself, Mark's goal is simple nurture the wonderful gift of our existence and help others do the same. So I'm really excited to have him here to talk to him about both these aspects and to introduce him to you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:30]: Mark, thanks so much for being here today.

Mark Reinisch [00:02:32]: Oh, thank you for having me. Looking forward to it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:34]: Well, I'm really excited to be able to talk to you and I know as I just mentioned and, and I know in our conversations you have two daughters yourself and I've got two daughters myself. I and I love being able to start the show really delving a little bit into that and talking about that, that, that bond that Those connections that we have with our daughters. And I guess, first and foremost, I know there probably has been many meaningful moments that you've shared with your daughters, but think about what's one meaningful moment that really stands out to you and what made it so special.

Mark Reinisch [00:03:07]: I, of course, love my two children dearly. One is 31, Audrey. And then the other is 24, Emma. One experience that I'll point out that I write about extensively in the book was with Emma and she was a high school freshman and she started to have shoulder issues and she had to give up her rowing career because she ended up having shoulder surgery. And we thought, okay, we'll get that fixed and then she'll move on. But then more pain started to occur and then she ended up breaking her ankle at the end of her freshman year because she was going to start getting into cross country running. And so she had put that on hold. Then we were starting to plan once she recovers from that, well, maybe you won't be running soon, but we'll start riding our bikes because we shared a lot of activities.

Mark Reinisch [00:04:01]: I've always done that with both of my children. And then at the beginning of her sophomore year, she started to get these horrific headaches, basically a level four to six nonstop. And then she started to get migraines. And this was every single minute of every single day. So that continued. We went to every doctor imaginable and it got to the point after a couple months of literally non stop pain that she had to be pulled from school. And this was pre pandemic. So it was a paradigm shift for, for us.

Mark Reinisch [00:04:34]: And to make a long story short, it ended up being a two and a half year ordeal where every single minute of every single day she had a headache at the level of a four to six. And then five to seven times a day she would get a migraine that would jack up the pain to an 8 to 10 level. So witnessing that happen to her, but then seeing how she never gave up on life, the resilience to overcome that pain and do her darn, to live her life and find meaning, be involved in school activities even though she was homeschool, she still in clubs, and to be fully engaged in trying to exercise and to try to find meaning and joy, it was incredibly inspirational. But going back to your question, Chris, the moment when she started to take Botox, that started to control the migraines better. And then she, the doctor prescribed this muscle relaxant that started to reduce the level of her headaches, but she still had a level three to five headache every single minute of every single day. So it didn't resolve all of it. But then she took this extended version of Flexor all, which was the muscle relaxant, and that miraculously wiped out the headache altogether. And the moment she took it, she didn't tell us anything about it.

Mark Reinisch [00:06:03]: And for a couple of days, she would not respond to us when we asked, well, is it working? And then after around three days, she told us that the headache was completely gone. She had gone a full day, couple days without any pain after two and a half years. And I'm getting goosebumps even talking about it that moment. Good Lord. Wow. My wife and I will never forget that. It was like a massive ray of sunshine about life's possibilities again for her. So very magical moment because as a father, as you know, as a parent, in a way, you may live through your children, you'll suffer any pain yourself if you can relieve any suffering for them.

Mark Reinisch [00:06:47]: So for. For that miracle to happen was quite amazing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:51]: That's an amazing story. And it really shows also some of the things that we deal with as fathers in regards to really hearing and being present for your daughters when they truly need you and even when they don't need. And I guess as I think about what you just said and talking about that intentionality with both of your daughters, what did you do in the past or even now to truly make your daughter feel valued and heard?

Mark Reinisch [00:07:21]: A whole bunch of things. One thing I would mention is being very careful not to have them live your dreams and your vision for their life. One of the things that really surprised me with my children is I expected the second one, Emma, to be just like the first one. So the oldest, Audrey, was very personable, athletic, very creative, and she was going down a certain path. And I expected Emma to be a carbon copy. Same parenting style, but they had some similar interests, but very divergent interests. And what I was very careful about is not try to try to shape them in my image other than teaching values, you know, really emphasizing character, challenging them in a way. Actually, that was a common approach with both of my children to help them build a strong moral and growth foundation, but really be in tune with what they're interested in, what they're curious about, what they want to be challenged with.

Mark Reinisch [00:08:26]: And then once they show an interest in something, how can we double down and triple down and find a way to support that and stretch our means wherever possible to help provide opportunities. So an example, my oldest daughter started to play soccer, and it was many years after her friends had started, so she was behind. But she had a dream to play in high school and really have fun with the sport. So we hired a coach to help skill up. She joined club soccer and all that, But I also would spend weekends at the field running soccer drills, trying not to overwhelm her. But hey, if you want to get better, I'll try to coach you and do basic things to try to improve her skills. Even though I've never played soccer, never really even loved the sport, but now I love the sport because she loved the sport. So being in tune with their needs and helping them and coaching them to get the most out of, you know, their dreams, I can tell just by.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:32]: What you're saying that you're definitely in the weeds. You're involved, you've been involved through their lives and you've made those intentional decisions to be able to help them to become the women that they've become in their lives. And I guess none of us are fallible, though, and we all make mistakes as fathers. So what's a mistake that you made as a father and what did you learn from it about building a either more positive connection or a stronger bond with your daughters in the end?

Mark Reinisch [00:10:02]: One example, it's sports related. Again, not everything was sports related. But my youngest daughter took an interest in basketball probably when she was five or six years old, and she just had a natural ability with it. And I've always played basketball ever since I was little. So that was my sport the moment she became interested in it. All right, I'm all in on that. So I became a coach during the summer league and would coach her there. But then this was unlike soccer, with basketball, I have a laundry list of really good drills that are going to build skills.

Mark Reinisch [00:10:37]: Dribbling, shooting, the strategy of the game. I just love the sport. So here's this 6,78-year-old girl who expressed some interest in basketball. Amazing ability. Now you have an overbearing father who's trying to teach her everything I know about this sport, even offering, hey, if you want to before school starts, let's do some things because you say you really want to be great at this, well, I can help you get there. And I overwhelmed her and turned her off on the sport where she lost interest and moved on. And it was because I was overbearing. I learned very valuable lesson.

Mark Reinisch [00:11:16]: So the next thing that she was interested in, I would nurture that. I would coach her, but I would be much more in tune with where she wants to go at the pace that she wants to go. And that was incredibly valuable to her.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:30]: In that I mentioned at the beginning that you have a new book called the Wellness Ethic. And in your book, your book says the meaning of life and the north star of the Wellness Ethic is love. For dads. What does it look like to build a relationship with your daughters where love isn't just a feeling but a daily practice?

Mark Reinisch [00:11:51]: I think at the heart of it is engagement on their terms. So it's multifaceted, it's being involved and present in their life to the best of your ability because you know things can be hectic, you have a lot of other priorities, but every day it's finding that connection. So some examples could be. And I write about it this in the book. I've always had to work full time and I always viewed it as a job and a half, whether it's traveling, overtime, weekend work. But on the side, I always had side hustles because I was pursuing my dreams as well. So that would be writing a book that took six years, 20 plus hours a week. I launched a social media startup, did that for four years with a co founder, ended up selling that and wrote a dozen screenplays.

Mark Reinisch [00:12:46]: So I've always been very active on the side. But despite that, the priority was if they have a game, I'm there. We made my wife and I a sacrifice where she wanted to be a stay at home mom. So we found the financial means to be able to do that. And I would carve out time on weekends to go out to lunch with one of the children, one on one and just connect. So it was really finding that quality time or it was coaching them or it could be they wrote a paper for school and they wanted my perspective on it, so I would review it and work with them on creative writing. Even with my social media startup, I gave them a percentage or 2 of the net worth of the company. Not just because I love them, but because they actually played a role in it.

Mark Reinisch [00:13:38]: They would give feedback on screen designs, they would even design some screens in our try to incorporate some of those aspects into the web design. They would test things, they would post things, use it so they, they were actually legitimately involved in it. So I would find ways to try to involve them in some of the things that I was leading. So it's being very intentional to find ways to connect on their terms, involve them in, in your life and gauge how that's working, is it well balanced? And if you notice a deficit, you gotta reengage and go be because maintaining that connection is so Vital. And that was a big part of my life purpose. So it came naturally.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:23]: Now also in your book you talk about the self actualized genius, that internal guiding force and that encourages us to live as our best, healthiest selves. How can a dad act from his self actualized genius when his daughter is upset, stressed or melting down rather than reacting in frustration, anger or shutting down?

Mark Reinisch [00:14:48]: Yeah, the book really is a guide to nurturing the wonderful gift of your existence, to getting the most out of your life, building a healthy mindset. And it's all gearing a person up. So you get to the point where you don't react so much to what's happening around you, but you choose your response, you're intentional, the decisions you make. Because at the end of the day there's really just two things you control in life. That is your mindset in the moment. So you can choose to be happy, you can choose to be angry, you can choose to be peaceful, controlled. And the second thing you can always choose is your response to what happens to you. So if you have an angry child who's very upset, you could react, yell, worsen the situation, you could walk away, that could be your reaction.

Mark Reinisch [00:15:37]: Or you can with, with calmness, as much as possible you can choose a response that's going to help diffuse the situation, look at the big picture and help guide that interaction to a better place. And that all starts with your mindset and that the control you have over how you respond. Then on top of that, Chris, if you really practice some of the principles that I talk about that really defines a self actualized genius, one of the overarching principles, and it ties back to the meaning of, of life, which is to feel and share love. If you take a love centered approach to what's happening around you, if you lead with love, as I talk about in my book the Wellness Ethic, then you're going to approach that situation not from anger yourself, not in a punitive way necessarily, but you're going to approach it through love. And you're going to try to guide your child in a direction that's going to promote love in their life as well. Easier said than done. But if you have that focus, you're going to find that you get better and better at it and your child is learning in the process as well and is seeing a very positive way on how you can deal with conflict.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:57]: So true. And I've seen it in many ways in my own kids lives and the way that I act or react to situations. So and I think that Leads to another point that I noted in your book, which I felt that a powerful part of the book talks about kind of what you were just talking about, that we have to respond to our kids in different ways and the idea of responding perfectly to the imperfect so often rules our life. Dads are like any other humans that are out there and we get things wrong, whether that's through discipline, communication, work, life balance. How do you feel that fathers can model imperfection in a healthy way so that their daughters learn self compassion instead of fear of failure?

Mark Reinisch [00:17:41]: It's being vulnerable yourself. It's talking about the challenges in your life and how you're dealing with them. It's helping them put in perspective the challenges they have and the mistakes they have. It's not overreacting to when they do something wrong. And it starts with yourself. So if one of my children does something wrong, even today I really have tried to train my mind to think in terms terms of, okay, well yeah, that was imperfect behavior. I wish they hadn't done that. However, none of us are perfect.

Mark Reinisch [00:18:15]: I've made plenty of mistakes. Show some compassion and focus more on the positive. Well, there's a whole lot to be grateful for because that child of mine is so smart, so compassionate, such a good person, has done wonderful in school, is well intentioned and she may have fallen short in this case but in the big picture she'll learn from it. Not the end of the world. And when you come from it from that perspective, it really can be a game changer and a big part of this. Kristen it's going back to talking about being a self actualized genius or at least striving to be your best self. A big part of being able to do that is building a foundation which gets at wellness and well being. So it's nurturing your mind to be a more positive thinker, to be more grateful for your blessings, to be more resilient, to be able to detach from the bad things that may be happening and choose healthier responses.

Mark Reinisch [00:19:13]: It's taking care of your body. It's creating positive energy from being more spiritual and bringing more love and connection into your life. It's nurturing positive relationships. When you start to have those pieces come together and understanding they're never going to be perfect. You're always going to be working on things. But that also reflects life in itself. Life will never be perfect for anyone. We always have challenges.

Mark Reinisch [00:19:39]: But the more you move forward in a positive direction, build healthy habits, you find that you're much more resilient when Stress occurs, you are better positioned to choose your response rather than overreacting. So that's how wellness can really be an enabler to healthy relationships with your daughters.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:59]: I mentioned at the beginning that you write about the 8020 rule for wellness, focusing on the small percentage of actions that create the biggest, biggest impact. If a dad wanted to improve his connection with his daughters using the 8020 rule, what would the vital few practices be?

Mark Reinisch [00:20:18]: That's a terrific question, and there's no one standard answer. Because what the 8020 rule says is basically, if you focus on the vital few things, let's say the 20% of all the things you could do and focus on the most important things, you're going to get 80% of the positive impact. So you don't spread yourself thin and try to do everything under the sun. But each child and each relationship that you have with your children is different. Your child has different needs, you have different needs, you may have different constraints. So in my example, the 20% that I focused on with my child, Emma, as she's going through the headache, the situation was very different than the 20% I focused on my older daughter who wasn't having those medical issues. So it's really, I believe it's meeting the moment moment based on the reality of where you're at, what's working, what's not working, what does your child need? So that 20% may mean that you do have to rebuild your relationship. You have to find more common ground, spend more time together doing things that you both enjoy to build up that relationship.

Mark Reinisch [00:21:29]: That 20% in some cases may mean that you need to tutor your child to help them because they may be struggling in school, they may be struggling socially. So you have to, to see how you can support that. They may need to see a psychiatrist if they're really struggling in some areas. So it's being in tune with what their needs are and then determining how can you focus your efforts to meet them based on what they need. So there really isn't a standard pat answer to that question.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:59]: Now finally today, one final thing that stood out for me in the book is you write about reframing setbacks like, like your layoff, not as a disaster, but as opportunities. And many fathers may have something like this happen to them in their life. So how can dads teach their daughters to see challenges through a productive frame, especially in a world where stress comparison and self judgment are so common?

Mark Reinisch [00:22:26]: That's such a important life skill, no matter what age you are, what situation. And that goes back to choosing Your response to what happens in your life. And knowing that I was writing a book about wellness again, mind, body, spirit, relationships, your personal and professional pursuits, and on and on. And that to really get the most out of your life, to nurture the wonderful gift of your existence, a big part of that is building healthy habits and introducing meaningful change in your life that you adopt. That stands the test of time. So knowing that that's not easy, otherwise we would all be there, right? I wanted in the early part of the book to build some essential life skills that will help you move forward in a positive direction with confidence in your life. So I had a chapter on building habits, adopting change. And I also had a chapter on this model that I call the accept, frame, respond model.

Mark Reinisch [00:23:25]: And that is something that you can work with your children on to help them come to grips with challenging situations. So the first step is you accept what is happening, happened. You accept the reality of what has happened. You're not in denial. So if you fail a grade, if your child fails a grade, well, that happened, you know, and you can blame others, but the reality is it still happened. And you have to come to grips with the truth of what happened. Where, yeah, there may have been some extenuating circumstances out of your control, but you may have also contributed to that challenge. So accept the truth of what has happened, then frame it in the most realistic, but life affirming way.

Mark Reinisch [00:24:09]: What is a positive frame, how you can view it, your mindset towards what has happened, that's going to put you in a position to move forward. So in my life, for instance, when I was laid off the first time at bank of America, it was during the Great Recession of 2008, 2009, job market dismal, housing market plummeting, and I was underwater. But I had just gone through a life coaching certification. So I really had this positive outlook and a lot of tools at my disposal. What I chose to do was to frame that layoff as actually a gift. I wasn't enjoying my life and financial services. I wanted a career change. And this was going to prompt me to find a way to move forward.

Mark Reinisch [00:24:51]: And I knew that myself and my family were going to find a way to survive. So I had that positive energy to move forward. So framing what has happened in a positive light, yet realistic light is very important because once you have accepted and framed what has happened, then you can choose, choose the best response that's going to move you forward in a positive direction. So when you're coaching your children as they're going through difficulty, you help them to accept and frame it in a positive way. Then you explore with them what are all the different ways that you can move forward and what is going to be the potential outcome of those choices. And as that opens your child's mind to the possibilities, quite often you're going to of see a little spark and some enthusiasm coming into the equation where they're going to think, hey, there's a silver lining here. I can go down a path that could be pretty darn exciting, that helps them to start to move forward. Then you support them on that journey.

Mark Reinisch [00:25:51]: So it can be a very powerful approach.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:53]: Now, Mark, we always finish our episodes with what I like to call the dad connection. 66 more questions to get to know a little bit more about your own relationship with your daughters. So. So. Are you ready?

Mark Reinisch [00:26:06]: I am ready.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:06]: What's one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

Mark Reinisch [00:26:10]: Love.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:11]: What's the best piece of dad advice that you've ever received?

Mark Reinisch [00:26:15]: It was from a teacher and it was simple. And they were talking about when they're at the dinner table with their child and there was a second helping. They always wanted that second helping, but they let their child have it. And that simple story spoke volumes about parenting. It's about them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:35]: What's one activity that that you and your daughters love doing together?

Mark Reinisch [00:26:39]: We absolutely love to go hiking in national parks, being on mountaintops and just seeing the splendor of nature. We absolutely love that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:49]: If you could give your daughters one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Mark Reinisch [00:26:54]: Move forward in the direction of your dreams and to expand upon the Thoreau quote that I'm sharing, you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:05]: What's one thing you've learned about yourself since becoming a dad?

Mark Reinisch [00:27:09]: When I first became a dad and I wrote about it in the Wellness Ethic, it was incredibly intimidating. I didn't think I could do it. How could I connect with a newborn? How could I nurture a child, help them become an adult? It was intimidating. But then I quickly realized that every father is in the same boat. How on earth do you do this? But millions and billions of fathers have found their way to be able to be really good fathers. And that is such a valuable life lesson to any situation that enter the arena and you will figure out a way to be successful.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:51]: And finally, what's one piece of advice that you would want to give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Mark Reinisch [00:28:01]: To me, it's all about connection. Finding that bond and nurturing that bond, but being able to, to evolve over time. And that's one of the secrets about any kind of relationship that you have a lot of overlapping interests, love, support, things that you share. And that evolves over time. And it can diverge if you don't tend to it and nurture it. But if you nurture it and evolve as you and your daughter are both evolving and find a way to maintain that connection and it will change, the terms of it will change. But if you maintain that connection, the love will always be there. And so that's what I would.

Mark Reinisch [00:28:45]: That's the advice I would give.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:46]: Well, Mark, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing all of this today. If people want to find out more about you or the book, where should they go?

Mark Reinisch [00:28:53]: Well, two places. If you go to any online bookseller like Amazon.com, type in the Wellness Ethic, you'll be able to get a print version, hardcover, soft cover or ebook. Or go to wellnessethic.com for a website on the book book. And one reward is on the website wellnessethic.com there's a video of me in a business attire jumping off a cliff at Crater Lake, 30ft down, 35ft into the water. It's quite entertaining and there's a lot of meaning behind it that I talk about in the book.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:29]: Well, I hope that you've heard today that in this conversation that I hope you've heard today in this conversation that you know, to me, this conversation is a powerful reminder that wellness isn't a luxury, it's a responsibility. And in Mark's words, happiness isn't something you chase, it's something you choose, respond to and build through love. So I encourage you that if today stirred something in you, the desire to be more present, intentional, more connected, I encourage you to check out Mark's book. I'll put a link in the notes today because the book is truly really it's a thoughtful, vulnerable, funny and practical book. It's got a ton of things inside it that'll make you think and help you have a different perspective on not only your own life, but the life that you want to have and the way in which you want to father. So for me, if you take one thing from today's conversation, I would take this. I would say that fatherhood is not about being perfect, it's about being present. You've heard that before in the show show, but you've definitely heard it today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:33]: Mark reminds us that our daughters don't need a flawless dad. They need a dad who pauses instead of explodes, listens instead of fixes, designs, time for family instead of hoping it magically appears and loves them out loud, not in silence. Because connection isn't about building big moments. It's built in small rituals, software words, shared laughs, and honest apologies. So this week, do something. Choose one thing to do. Take a walk together. Say I love you without a reason.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:07]: Ask what made her smile today. Give her your attention for 10 minutes. That's what this book is all about. That's what the wellness ethic is in action. That's how you nurture the wonderful gift of your existence and hers. So, Mark, again, thank you. Thank you for your wisdom, your vulnerability, and for reminding us to nurture the wonderful gift of our existence. I really appreciate you being here for sharing today, and I wish you all the best.

Mark Reinisch [00:31:33]: Thank you very much. I enjoyed it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:35]: That's a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect. It's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can find all our episodes dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:05]: We're all in the same boat.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:12]: And it's full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents and bring your A game.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:33]: Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen carpenters and muscle men get out and be the to.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:49]: Now.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:53]: Be the best dad you can.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:56]: Be.

Musical Outro Performer [00:32:58]: Be the best dad you can.

Hey dads, welcome back to Dad Connections in 5, where in just five minutes, we give you simple, powerful ways to connect with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, capable young woman. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're talking about a life skill that often gets overlooked but has a lifelong impact: financial literacy.

Here's the truth: money habits start young. And as a dad, you have a huge opportunity to shape how your daughter thinks about money—how she earns it, saves it, spends it, and shares it. And no, she doesn't need to wait until high school economics or her first paycheck to start learning. She can start right now—and so can you.

Why Financial Literacy Matters (Especially for Girls)

We teach our daughters how to read, how to tie their shoes, how to be kind—but too often, we skip over how to handle money.

And yet, money touches nearly every part of adult life: 💵 Making choices 💳 Building independence 🏠 Planning for the future 🎯 Setting goals

Girls who learn early are more likely to feel confident, empowered, and in control of their futures.

And let's be honest—you want her to know how to manage her money before someone else tries to manage it for her.

Three Simple Ways to Start Teaching Money Skills Early 1. Give Her Real-World Practice

Even young kids can understand the basics of spending, saving, and giving—if we give them opportunities to practice.

✅ Use a jar system or a simple app: one jar for saving, one for spending, and one for giving. ✅ When she earns or receives money, help her decide where each dollar goes. ✅ Take her shopping and talk about prices, choices, and value.

Let her make small decisions now so she can make better big decisions later.

2. Talk About Money Out Loud

Most of us were raised to treat money like a private, sometimes awkward topic. But if we want our daughters to grow up confident, we need to normalize the conversation.

✅ Say things like: "This is why we're saving for vacation instead of eating out tonight." ✅ Talk through your budget: "We're choosing this item because it fits our budget." ✅ Let her help plan: "We've got $20 for this birthday gift—how can we make it special?"

The more she hears you think out loud, the more she learns that money isn't scary—it's something she can handle.

3. Teach the Difference Between Needs and Wants

It sounds basic, but it's huge. Especially in a world where ads, influencers, and social media blur the line.

✅ At the store, ask: "Do we need this, or do we just want it?" ✅ Involve her in choices: "We could buy this now, or save for something bigger later—what do you think?" ✅ Celebrate when she makes thoughtful decisions, not just thrifty ones.

This builds decision-making, discipline, and delayed gratification—which are key financial life skills.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here's your challenge: Today, include your daughter in one small money decision.

✅ Let her help compare prices at the store. ✅ Ask how she'd split $10 between saving, spending, and giving. ✅ Talk about a financial goal you're working toward—and ask if she has one too.

Even a two-minute conversation can plant a seed. And over time, those seeds grow into financial confidence, independence, and strength.

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. If this helped you see money as more than math—if it reminded you that raising a strong daughter means teaching her how to manage her own future—send it to another dad who's ready to do the same. Until next time—keep showing up, keep talking openly, and keep raising a girl who knows her worth and how to manage it.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads! Welcome back to Dad Connections in 5, your quick, practical guide to building a stronger bond with your daughter—one honest, intentional moment at a time. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're talking about a powerful but often uncomfortable truth: why admitting when you're wrong actually strengthens your relationship with your daughter.

We're dads. We want to protect, guide, and lead. And sometimes—whether out of pride, stress, or habit—we act like we always need to have it all together. But here's the thing: your daughter doesn't need you to be perfect. She needs you to be real.

So in the next five minutes, I'll share why admitting your mistakes builds trust, how to do it without undermining your role as a parent, and what it teaches your daughter about confidence, humility, and respect.

Why Owning Your Mistakes Matters

When you admit you were wrong, you're showing your daughter that:

✅ It's okay to be human. ✅ You value honesty over ego. ✅ Respect is a two-way street.

And most importantly, you're teaching her that accountability is a strength—not a weakness.

Because one day, she'll make a mistake. And what you've modeled will shape how she responds to it.

What Happens When We Pretend We're Always Right?

❌ It creates distance. ❌ It teaches her that making a mistake means losing worth. ❌ It can leave her feeling dismissed, unheard, or frustrated.

But when we say something as simple as, "I was wrong, and I'm sorry," something amazing happens—walls come down, and trust goes up.

3 Practical Ways to Own Your Mistakes as a Dad 1. Call It Out Clearly

Don't bury your apology in excuses. Keep it simple and direct.

✅ "I was wrong to raise my voice earlier. That wasn't fair to you." ✅ "I misunderstood what you were saying, and I jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry."

The more direct and sincere you are, the more powerful your words become.

2. Share What You Learned from the Mistake

Your apology becomes even more valuable when it shows growth.

✅ "I've been really stressed, but that's no excuse for snapping. I need to manage that better." ✅ "Next time, I'll make sure I listen before I react."

You're not just saying sorry—you're showing her what it looks like to learn from failure.

3. Invite Openness in Return

By being vulnerable first, you create a space where your daughter feels safe doing the same.

You can say: 👉 "Have you ever felt like that too?" 👉 "What do you think I could've done better?"

It shifts the dynamic from "dad talking at daughter" to "dad growing with daughter."

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here's your challenge: The next time you realize you overreacted, misjudged, or made a mistake—say it. Clearly. Out loud. And mean it.

✅ Own your part. ✅ Keep it simple and sincere. ✅ Use it to model growth, not guilt.

Your daughter doesn't need a perfect dad. She needs one who's willing to grow, to own his missteps, and to treat her with the same respect he expects in return.

Because when you admit you're wrong, you're not losing authority—you're gaining something far more powerful: trust.

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. If this spoke to you, share it with another dad who wants to lead with humility and strength. Until next time—keep showing up, keep growing, and keep leading with love.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads, welcome back to another episode of Dad Connections in 5—your five-minute stop for meaningful, real-world tips to help you build a lasting bond with your daughter. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're unpacking a topic that every dad wrestles with at some point:

"When should I give advice, and when should I just listen?"

We've all been there—your daughter comes to you upset, confused, or venting, and your immediate instinct is to jump in and fix it. That's what we do, right? We want to protect. We want to help.

But here's the truth: Sometimes she doesn't need you to fix anything. She just needs to know you're listening.

Let's talk about how to tell the difference, why it matters, and how you can respond in ways that keep her talking—and trusting you—over time.

Why This Matters

Giving advice too quickly can shut her down. Just listening—without judgment—can open her up.

When you respond the right way at the right moment, you're telling her: ✅ "Your feelings are valid." ✅ "You're not alone in this." ✅ "I believe in your ability to figure things out."

And that's where real connection lives.

3 Ways to Know When to Listen vs. When to Advise 1. Ask Before You Answer

This is the golden rule: before you offer advice, ask this simple question: 👉 "Do you want me to just listen, or would it help to hear what I think?"

You'll be surprised how often she'll say, "I just need to vent." And when she says that? Honor it. Stay in listener mode. Nod. Reflect. Let her speak without interruption.

Giving her that choice builds trust and autonomy—and she'll be more likely to come to you again next time.

2. Listen to Understand, Not to Solve

When she's talking, don't plan your response while she's still mid-sentence. Don't jump to "Here's what you should do…"

Instead, use these kinds of responses: ✅ "That sounds really hard." ✅ "How did that make you feel?" ✅ "What are you thinking about doing?"

Your calm, grounded presence teaches her that it's okay to sit with tough emotions—and that she doesn't have to rush to fix everything.

3. When You Do Give Advice—Make It Collaborative

There will be moments when your wisdom is needed. But make it a conversation, not a lecture.

Try something like: 💬 "Would it be okay if I shared something that helped me in a similar situation?" 💬 "Can I offer a different perspective?" 💬 "What do you think about this idea?"

When you invite her in—rather than directing her—you're treating her with respect. That's the kind of guidance she'll actually remember.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here's your challenge: The next time your daughter comes to you with a problem, pause before responding.

✅ Ask, "Do you want me to listen, or would it help if I offered some advice?" ✅ Then follow her lead—really. ✅ Let her talk without solving unless she invites you to.

Because sometimes the best thing you can say is simply: 👉 "That sounds tough. I'm really glad you told me."

In that moment, she's not looking for a fix—she's looking for you.

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. If this helped you rethink how you respond to your daughter's challenges, pass it on to another dad who wants to build that same kind of trust.

Until next time—keep listening well, offering advice gently, and showing up with the kind of love that puts connection before correction.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads, welcome to another episode of Dad Connections in 5, the podcast where five minutes of practical advice can help you build a lifelong bond with your daughter. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're diving into something you already have daily opportunities to teach—problem-solving.

Here's the big idea: You don't need a classroom, a curriculum, or a crisis to teach your daughter how to solve problems. You just need to slow down, involve her in real-life decisions, and ask the right questions along the way.

In this episode, I'll show you why teaching problem-solving is one of the best gifts you can give her, how to use everyday situations as teaching tools, and give you three practical tips to try—starting today.

Why It Matters

Life is full of challenges, and your daughter will face her share—at school, with friends, in future jobs, and even in relationships.

✅ When she knows how to work through problems, she becomes more confident ✅ When she learns to think critically, she becomes more independent ✅ And when she sees that failure is part of learning, she becomes more resilient

You're not just helping her get through today—you're building the tools she'll use for a lifetime.

Everyday Moments Are Teaching Moments

The next time a challenge comes up—don't solve it for her. Instead, use it to coach her through a process. That's how learning happens.

Let's say she can't decide what to wear to a school event, or she's frustrated with a classmate, or even struggling with a tough homework assignment.

Ask questions like: 💬 "What's the actual problem here?" 💬 "What are some options?" 💬 "What do you think might happen if you try that?" 💬 "How would you feel about the outcome?"

You're not giving her the answer—you're helping her find her own. That's powerful.

3 Simple Ways to Teach Problem-Solving Through Daily Life 1. Narrate Your Own Problem-Solving Out Loud

Let her see your thought process. ➡️ "I'm trying to figure out the best way to fix this leaky faucet. I could call a plumber, or I could look up a video first. Let me try the DIY route and see how it goes."

It sounds simple, but modeling how you work through problems teaches her it's normal to try, fail, learn, and adjust.

2. Let Her Struggle a Little (with Support)

It's hard, but don't rush in to fix everything. ✅ Give her space to think ✅ Be her sounding board ✅ Ask guiding questions, not leading ones

She may get frustrated, but that's part of growth. Tell her: "You've got this—I'm right here if you need help, but I want you to try first."

3. Celebrate the Process, Not Just the Outcome

Even if her solution doesn't work, focus on her effort: ➡️ "I love how you thought that through." ➡️ "You didn't give up. That's what matters most." ➡️ "Next time, you'll have an even better idea."

This builds grit, and shows her that making mistakes is part of solving problems—not a sign of failure.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here's your challenge: The next time your daughter comes to you with a problem—don't solve it.

✅ Ask her what she thinks ✅ Talk through the options ✅ Support her as she tries her solution

Big or small, every problem is a practice run for life.

Because the goal isn't to remove every obstacle—it's to teach her how to climb over them on her own. And when she does? She'll carry that confidence with her forever.

[Closing Music]

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. If you found this helpful, send it to a fellow dad or save it for the next teachable moment that shows up unexpectedly. Until next time—keep showing up, keep asking good questions, and keep helping your daughter grow into a confident, capable problem solver.

Hey dads, welcome to another episode of Dad Connections in 5, the podcast where five minutes of practical advice can help you build a lifelong bond with your daughter. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're diving into something you already have daily opportunities to teach—problem-solving.

Here's the big idea: You don't need a classroom, a curriculum, or a crisis to teach your daughter how to solve problems. You just need to slow down, involve her in real-life decisions, and ask the right questions along the way.

In this episode, I'll show you why teaching problem-solving is one of the best gifts you can give her, how to use everyday situations as teaching tools, and give you three practical tips to try—starting today.

Why It Matters

Life is full of challenges, and your daughter will face her share—at school, with friends, in future jobs, and even in relationships.

✅ When she knows how to work through problems, she becomes more confident ✅ When she learns to think critically, she becomes more independent ✅ And when she sees that failure is part of learning, she becomes more resilient

You're not just helping her get through today—you're building the tools she'll use for a lifetime.

Everyday Moments Are Teaching Moments

The next time a challenge comes up—don't solve it for her. Instead, use it to coach her through a process. That's how learning happens.

Let's say she can't decide what to wear to a school event, or she's frustrated with a classmate, or even struggling with a tough homework assignment.

Ask questions like: 💬 "What's the actual problem here?" 💬 "What are some options?" 💬 "What do you think might happen if you try that?" 💬 "How would you feel about the outcome?"

You're not giving her the answer—you're helping her find her own. That's powerful.

3 Simple Ways to Teach Problem-Solving Through Daily Life 1. Narrate Your Own Problem-Solving Out Loud

Let her see your thought process. ➡️ "I'm trying to figure out the best way to fix this leaky faucet. I could call a plumber, or I could look up a video first. Let me try the DIY route and see how it goes."

It sounds simple, but modeling how you work through problems teaches her it's normal to try, fail, learn, and adjust.

2. Let Her Struggle a Little (with Support)

It's hard, but don't rush in to fix everything. ✅ Give her space to think ✅ Be her sounding board ✅ Ask guiding questions, not leading ones

She may get frustrated, but that's part of growth. Tell her: "You've got this—I'm right here if you need help, but I want you to try first."

3. Celebrate the Process, Not Just the Outcome

Even if her solution doesn't work, focus on her effort: ➡️ "I love how you thought that through." ➡️ "You didn't give up. That's what matters most." ➡️ "Next time, you'll have an even better idea."

This builds grit, and shows her that making mistakes is part of solving problems—not a sign of failure.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here's your challenge: The next time your daughter comes to you with a problem—don't solve it.

✅ Ask her what she thinks ✅ Talk through the options ✅ Support her as she tries her solution

Big or small, every problem is a practice run for life.

Because the goal isn't to remove every obstacle—it's to teach her how to climb over them on her own. And when she does? She'll carry that confidence with her forever.

[Closing Music]

That's it for today's Dad Connections in 5. If you found this helpful, send it to a fellow dad or save it for the next teachable moment that shows up unexpectedly. Until next time—keep showing up, keep asking good questions, and keep helping your daughter grow into a confident, capable problem solver.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Here's the deal: The world won't always respect your daughter's space, time, or feelings. But if she learns from you that her voice matters—if she knows how to say no, ask for what she needs, and stand her ground—she's going to be stronger in school, friendships, future relationships, and the workplace.

Let's break down how to model, teach, and encourage this vital life skill in your everyday parenting.

Why This Matters

Boundaries are about self-respect, not selfishness. When your daughter can set healthy boundaries, she's better able to: ✅ Avoid peer pressure ✅ Communicate her needs clearly ✅ Build safe, respectful relationships ✅ Stand up when something feels wrong

And here's the key: The way you respond to her boundaries will shape how confidently she sets them elsewhere.

3 Practical Ways to Teach Boundary-Setting 1. Model It Yourself—Out Loud

Let your daughter see and hear you set boundaries in respectful, healthy ways.

✅ "I need a little quiet time right now, and then I'd love to play." ✅ "I'm not okay with being spoken to like that. Let's take a break and try again." ✅ "I have too much on my plate today, so I'll have to say no to that request."

When you name your own limits clearly and calmly, you show her that it's okay to prioritize her own emotional and physical space—and that boundaries don't require anger or guilt.

2. Celebrate Her Voice When She Uses It

When she speaks up—even in small ways—acknowledge it and reinforce it.

💬 "I'm proud of you for telling your friend how you felt." 💬 "You did a great job saying no politely but firmly." 💬 "You asked for what you needed—that takes confidence."

When she knows you won't dismiss or shame her for expressing herself, she'll be more likely to keep doing it.

And when she says "no" to you? Practice the pause. Stay calm. Show her that boundaries in a healthy relationship go both ways.

3. Role-Play Real-Life Scenarios

One of the best teaching tools? Practice. Take a few minutes and act out everyday situations together.

Try these:

🎭 A friend wants to copy her homework 🎭 Someone makes her uncomfortable at school 🎭 She's asked to do something she doesn't want to do 🎭 She needs to ask for space, help, or privacy

Let her practice saying: 👉 "No, thank you." 👉 "That doesn't feel right to me." 👉 "I need some space right now." 👉 "Please don't do that."

Then talk it through: How did that feel? What was hard? What helped you feel strong?

These mini rehearsals build real-world confidence.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here's your challenge: Today, pay attention to moments when your daughter expresses a need, says no, or sets a limit—and support her.

✅ Say, "Thanks for telling me how you feel." ✅ Ask, "What do you need from me right now?" ✅ Or tell her, "It's okay to say no. I'll always respect your voice."

And then—live that out. Because when your daughter knows she can speak up with you, she'll know she can speak up anywhere.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Hey dads! Welcome back to Dad Connections in 5, the podcast that gives you simple, real-life ways to connect more deeply with your daughter—in just five minutes or less. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and today we're talking about something every daughter will face—conflict—and how you can teach her to handle it constructively.

From playground drama to social media misunderstandings to future workplace disagreements, conflict is a part of life. And how your daughter learns to navigate it—with calm, confidence, and respect—will shape her relationships, self-respect, and success for years to come.

So let's break it down. I'll give you three practical strategies that you can start using with her today—plus a takeaway challenge that makes this lesson stick.

Why Conflict Skills Matter

Conflict isn't the problem—it's how we deal with it that makes the difference. If your daughter learns to handle disagreement by shutting down, yelling, or giving in just to avoid confrontation, she might:

❌ Feel unheard or resentful ❌ Lose confidence in her voice ❌ Avoid standing up for herself

But if you help her learn to express herself clearly, listen actively, and stay calm, she'll:

✅ Build stronger relationships ✅ Earn respect from others ✅ Become a confident communicator

And guess what? She'll be watching how you handle conflict, too. So let's make it count.

Three Ways to Teach Constructive Conflict Skills 1. Teach the Power of "I" Statements

Most conflict escalates when people feel blamed or attacked. Teaching your daughter to use "I" statements helps her express how she feels without pointing fingers.

Instead of: ❌ "You never listen to me!"

Coach her to say: ✅ "I feel frustrated when I'm not heard. Can we talk about it?"

You can role-play this with her. Give her a scenario, and walk through what it might sound like to express her side without creating more tension.

2. Encourage Active Listening—Not Just Waiting to Speak

Listening is half the battle in any conflict. Teach her to:

✅ Make eye contact ✅ Stay quiet while the other person talks ✅ Repeat back what she heard: "So, what you're saying is…"

You can practice this at home, even with simple disagreements. Model it yourself when she brings you concerns. Show her what respectful listening looks like.

3. Show Her How to Stay Calm Under Pressure

Conflict can trigger big emotions, and it's hard to respond well when those emotions take over. Help your daughter recognize when she's upset—and give her permission to pause.

You can say: 👉 "It's okay to take a breath before you respond." 👉 "If you need space to calm down, that's not weakness—it's wisdom."

You might even share how you handle your own frustrations, especially when you don't get it right. That vulnerability makes your lesson real.

Quick Takeaways: Start Today!

Here's your challenge: Today, teach your daughter one phrase or tip to use the next time she has a disagreement—whether it's with a sibling, a friend, or even with you.

✅ Practice an "I" statement. ✅ Model active listening in a real conversation. ✅ Talk about what it means to pause and stay calm.

And remember, every conflict is a teaching opportunity. The goal isn't to avoid it—it's to help her handle it with grace, confidence, and strength.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

We want our daughters to grow into confident, capable, and independent young women—and that starts with giving them the tools to thrive in everyday life.

But teaching life skills doesn't have to feel like a chore, for you or for her. It can be: ✅ A bonding activity ✅ A confidence builder ✅ A memory maker

And when it's fun, she'll want to keep learning more.

3 Ways to Make Life Skills Fun and Engaging 1. Turn It Into a Mini-Challenge

Take something simple—like cooking dinner, pumping gas, or sorting laundry—and turn it into a challenge.

💬 "Let's see who can fold the most shirts in two minutes." 💬 "You're in charge of dinner tonight—but I'll be your assistant chef!" 💬 "Let's create a $20 grocery list together and see what healthy meals we can make."

This makes her feel empowered. She's not just helping—she's leading. And when you bring some friendly competition or creativity, she'll lean in instead of zoning out.

2. Use Real Life as a Classroom

Life skills don't have to be "taught" in a sit-down lesson—they're everywhere.

🛒 Grocery store trip? Talk about comparing prices, reading labels, or budgeting. 🚗 Car ride? Teach her how to check the oil or change a tire. 🏦 Paying bills? Explain how to track expenses or save up for something important.

The key is to involve her—not just tell her. Ask questions. Invite her to try. Let her mess up and learn from it. That's real growth.

3. Make It a Shared Project

Want to teach organization, planning, or teamwork? Start a project together.

✅ Build a birdhouse ✅ Plan a weekend getaway ✅ Start a garden ✅ Set a savings goal for something fun

Projects are a great way to sneak in multiple life skills while building something meaningful side-by-side. It becomes less about the lesson and more about the journey you take together.

Quick Takeaway: Try This Today

Here's your challenge: Pick one life skill your daughter hasn't mastered yet—and teach it in a way that's fun.

Maybe it's: 🎵 Cooking a meal while listening to her favorite playlist 🎯 Creating a savings goal for something she wants 🎮 Turning laundry into a timed "level-up" game

Make it memorable. Make it fun. And make sure she knows: 💬 "I'm not just teaching you this because you need to know it. I'm teaching you because I believe in you."

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

Fatherhood doesn't come with a manual—but the journey is deeply rewarding, especially when you're intentional about connecting with your daughters. In a recent episode of the "Dad and Daughter Connection" podcast, host Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Wes Piatt and Chris Roness—two dedicated dads and founders of WeBus International—to dig deep into the realities, challenges, and incredible rewards of raising daughters.

One of the main themes woven throughout this heartfelt episode is intentional presence. Both Wes and Chris reflect on their own meaningful moments with their daughters, highlighting how vital it is to be truly present. As Chris shares, "It's those moments where they come to me because dad's got the answer… it's all about being present with my kids." Wes echoes this commitment by intentionally setting aside daily time to let his daughters choose activities, stressing that, "Whatever they want to do, I'm going to be a part of it."

The episode doesn't shy away from the hard parts either. Both guests open up about mistakes and moments of failure, offering reassurance that vulnerability and honest communication are essential. Chris tells a story about miscommunicating with his daughter about their schedule and how owning the mistake, genuinely apologizing, and learning from it turned it into a powerful teaching moment. Wes reinforces that failure is not only inevitable but also an opportunity for growth, both as a father and for teaching his daughters resilience.

Another profound theme is connection among fathers. Wes shares his personal struggles during a challenging time and how reaching out to other dads led to the creation of WeBus—a supportive community where men can share experiences (not unsolicited advice) and lift each other up. Through this network, fathers form bonds, share practical solutions, and most importantly, realize they're not alone on this path.

The episode wraps up with actionable wisdom: be present, cherish powerful moments, communicate openly, and seek connection—both with your children and other dads. As Wes and Chris emphasize, it's about being the man and the example you want your daughters to look up to.

Whether you're looking for inspiration, a reminder that imperfection is part of the journey, or simply some practical dad-to-dad guidance, this episode is packed with genuine stories and strategies. Tune in to the "Dad and Daughter Connection" for insights that will help you become the dad your daughter needs—and maybe find a brotherhood along the way.

Ready to listen? Find the episode at dadanddaughterconnection.com and take the next step on your fatherhood journey.

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started. Because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:51]: Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week. I love being able to reconnect with you, to talk with you, to be on this journey that we're both on together in raising our daughters and building those strong connections that we want to have with our daughters. One step at a time. Because none of us are thrown into fatherhood with that manual, per se. We have to learn it along the way. And it is so important to have strong connections with our daughters, and especially our daughters, because of that bond that happens between a father and a daughter and all of the research that shows the power of the relationship between the father and the daughter.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:36]: So every week, I love being able to talk with you, to walk with you on this path that you're on, but also introduce you to other dads that are doing their best to be the best dads they can be. And we got two great guests today. We've got Wes Pyatta and Chris Ronas are here. And we're gonna be talking to them not only about being fathers of daughters. Cause Wes has two daughters himself and Chris has three daughters. And we're also, though, going to talk about their new venture, their new business that they've been working on for a bit now that is called Webus International. And we're gonna be talking about that as well. So we'll learn a little bit more about that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:20]: So, Wes, Chris, thanks so much for joining us today.

Wes Piatt [00:02:23]: Heck, yeah. Thanks for having us on.

Chris Roness [00:02:25]: Yeah, man, thanks for having us.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:26]: This is the dad and Daughter Connection. And I think one of the things that I'd love to ask you first is as you think about the relationships with your daughters, what's one of the most meaningful moments that you've shared with your daughters and what made it so special?

Wes Piatt [00:02:39]: Man, I had some pretty amazing moments with both of My daughters, they were born early and both in the NICU for a few months. And I remember there was specifically one moment with my daughter Joey where we had a rough time in the parking lot right before we went in and just kind of soaking in the extreme nature of everything we were dealing with and our first child and all this stuff. And I've got my hands in the little incubator and I'm trying to change her diaper on this little tiny, tiny human. I mean, she was the size of my hand. And the nurse walks over and goes, oh, let me show you how to do that with one hand. In that moment, I was so grateful for all the time that we had in the nicu, all the time that we were going to get in the nicu, because I felt like I got like a. You said we don't have a manual for being a. I felt like they gave me a manual on so many things.

Wes Piatt [00:03:26]: I was in the NICU both with Joey and with June because June was also born early. And having that time going into the nicu, June and being actually excited about it, knowing she was going to be fine, and then knowing I was going to learn even more from these amazing nurses that were there for 20, 30, 40 years teaching me how to do all these little things that most dads don't get. It was an amazing, not necessarily like moment in time, but I guess like per se, but, but amazing time within their lives where I learned like, man, bad things can really lead to some pretty awesome stuff.

Chris Roness [00:03:58]: Wow, dude, that's powerful, man. Dude, Chris, that's hard. You want me to just pick one? I've been blessed to have millions of them. And I think if there's a theme about any one of them, it started just like Wes was talking about. From the day they were born until even today, Even with my 12 year old who's doing the pre teen thing, it's those moments where they come to me because dad's got the answer, you know, they're coming to me as a sign of strength and all the things and. And to me it's feedback. To me, the second that I got my first daughter, the doctor handed her to me. He goes, $150 a month.

Chris Roness [00:04:30]: And I was like, what is this? My bill? Like, what are you talking about? He goes, $150 a month. That's how much you need to put in the bank every month for this child. So that someday down the road, whether it's education or a wedding or something meaningful to them, you've got that Money set aside to give them a good quality life. But it was the awe of having this kid in my hand and still realizing it's so much more than that. It's so much more than that. And, and for the kids, like this 12 year old now who doesn't even know that I've been putting $150 a month towards her. You know what I mean? Like, it's not about some sort of material thing. It's those moments where, like we talked about that bond that we've had through all those little moments where they've come to dad because Dad's the answer.

Chris Roness [00:05:12]: Even at 12, it's not exactly the same conversation. It's not a hug, it's not. Whatever. She loves Benson Boone now, man. Like, she just loves this dude. She loves to sing. She loves to sing his songs. And so at nighttime we connect around his videos.

Chris Roness [00:05:27]: And that's my moment to just give her space so that she can say whatever she wants to say. And every single time that I provide that opportunity, she capitalizes on it and she'll say, hey, Dada, let's talk about this or let's talk about that. And she'll just start going and it's awesome. So to me, it's those special moments where they just, they need me. And for me, that same moment was recognizing that I had to be the best human, best man I could be because I've got three daughters and at the time, no sons, and now I have a son. But regardless, my thought was I need to be the best example of a man I can be for them so that someday they'll bring me home three awesome sons.

Wes Piatt [00:06:01]: Word. That's it right there.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:03]: So what I'm hearing both of you say, I mean outside of those first moments, is being intentional being intentional with your time, being intentional with the moments that you do have with your daughters. So talk to me about what are some intentional ways that now you've worked to or you're working on strengthening that bond with your daughters. Even during challenging times, man, I make.

Wes Piatt [00:06:27]: Sure that every day we do something intentional together. I literally just posted this on my Instagram this morning about how I make sure every single day my phone is away and we're doing something that they want to do. What do you guys want to do? And Dad's coming along for the ride. Let's go do it. And it's not something I had pre planned or something I want to do or are going to lead to even a goal at the end of it. It's just Whatever they want to do, and I'm going to be a part of it.

Chris Roness [00:06:51]: Yeah, that's good, Chris. One thing I didn't disclose that I should have is we actually had four daughters, but one of them, at 37 weeks, didn't make it. And that was a really hard time as a parent and as a husband. But also, at the time, I was a senior leader in the Air Force running a unit, and I had a lot going on. But what that child taught me in that moment was the power of a moment. And I realized I was constantly like, in a minute, kid, I got to finish this thing first, or I got to finish that thing, or, I'll be right there. Just give me one second. I got to finish up this thing.

Chris Roness [00:07:22]: And it was always a thing that I always had to finish up because I was doing important work, right. As a dad, not realizing that the important work was right in front of me. And so now, as a result of that powerful lesson that I got from my daughter, Ava, was her name is. Her name was the power of a moment. So now, to me, being intentional is remembering that once this moment's gone, it's fleeting. Like I'm never going to get it back. So when my child comes to me with a picture that they've drawn, and I'm in the middle of 500 things that I feel are super important that have got to be done right now, I can catch myself and go, this is what's important. Show me this picture.

Chris Roness [00:07:58]: Let's be intentional about this moment. Because once the moment's gone, you can't get it back. And I've been able to do that with everything. It totally has changed my perspective on everything, and I feel has made me a much better father because I'm much more present with my kids, with everything. I mean, now I'm involved in everything they do, and I don't want to miss moment for that only reason. And life has actually been so much better and more forward. And guess what? All those things that I thought were important, they weren't, and they still got done.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:20]: They definitely do get done. Even though at times in our minds we're like, oh, oh, no. You know, we gotta get it done. But I. I completely hear you there. And there's been many moments in my own life that that's definitely happened, and moments where, as you kind of said, you make the wrong decision and you look back later and you're like, ah, dang. You know, I shouldn't have done that. So I.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:42]: I guess one question that I would have is none always right. And then we're always going to make mistakes. We're not infallible. So what's a mistake that you've made as a father and what did you learn from it about fostering positive communications with your daughters?

Chris Roness [00:08:59]: That's good. I got one just yesterday, a simple one. But we have a very busy schedule with all the kids activities. They're all, of course, doing something different. And I communicated to one of my daughters that today was going to be a day that she was going to ride the bus to go home with her brother while I took another kid to an appointment. And yesterday she thought was the day, not today. And so as I was picking them all up yesterday, she went and got on the bus instead of getting in the vehicle. And I had to send one of her sisters to get her.

Chris Roness [00:09:31]: And her sister was a little fiery.

Wes Piatt [00:09:32]: She's like, come on, you gotta go.

Chris Roness [00:09:33]: Get off the bus. And she was. She's a very. She has a very big heart and wears her heart on her sleeve. And she just got to the vehicle just completely upset. Dad, you told me today was the day I had the option to go home. And on that I was like, okay, guess what? I confused you. I miscommunicated.

Chris Roness [00:09:50]: And I just took the time to explain to her how I made the mistake and that I was going to own it and that we were going to move forward though, you know, hey, so this is on me. I told you about something, but the something that I told you about doesn't actually happen until tomorrow. And I wasn't strong enough in my communication about what we were doing today. And so I gave her genuine apology by saying the three things that go into a genuine apology. Hey, what I did wrong, right? That I'm genuinely sorry about it, and what I'm going to do about it in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again. Hey, I'm going to communicate better about what we're doing today. Then I'll go into what we're doing tomorrow, but I'll follow it back up with what we're doing today just so we don't make this mistake again. And the power of that conversation was she went from completely upset and hurt and emotionally distraught to just, okay, I'm good.

Wes Piatt [00:10:35]: I can't come up with a single one. But I think for me, the biggest takeaway is what I do after I mess up. It's that I go back and I tell them I'm sorry. I explain what I did. I go through exactly what switch has talked About Chris just talked about that. It's. I'm not perfect and it's okay not to be perfect as long as you do these few things after you're not perfect and you learn from it and you get better from it and you move on from it and we grow from it. It's like, I want them when you talk about failure, they're super into gymnastics.

Wes Piatt [00:11:07]: That's like their sport now. And. And we talk about failure constantly, how much we look forward to it and we can't wait for it. And when it does, it's opportunity to get better. And it's like there is no such thing as bad failure. And even when dad messes up, like, look, I've been around this earth for almost 40 years now, like, I'm still screwing up the most basic things and that's going to happen forever. And that's totally okay. I think that that's the most important thing.

Wes Piatt [00:11:29]: And they know that failure is good and failure is okay as long as we learn from it and do it. What Chris was talking about in recovery, I guess you could say from the failure or whatever you want to call.

Chris Roness [00:11:37]: It, we call it debrief in our family. Debrief what we learned.

Wes Piatt [00:11:41]: Let's go.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:42]: I mentioned that the two of you a organization called webus International. So talk to me about webus. What is it? And talk to me about those origin stories. What inspired you to start the organization and how did your role as dads influence the vision?

Wes Piatt [00:12:00]: I've told this story now probably a dozen times and I've cried every single time. I'm going to do my best to hold it together because it is we bus is what has kept me alive. And there was a moment. I own a CrossFit gym, small business owner, my wife as a teacher and for context, I used to be a firefighter. So I was a full time firefighter before I opened up the CrossFit gym. And I was doing both for a little bit where I was traveling down, doing my shifts, coming back up, coaching all the classes, traveling down and doing the thing. And I had a call, I went on that made me decide like, oh, I'm actually going to follow this path instead of this one. And I really regretted that during COVID because my business was getting shut down, all my members were leaving and everything seemed like it was like, man, I just made so many bad choices up to this point.

Wes Piatt [00:12:49]: Like, why? Also for context, me and my sister grew up with just a mom and she happened just so happened to be bipolar and have schizophrenic episodes. So we had quite the upbringing. And during COVID I was having a really hard time controlling my reactions, controlling just the simplest things would set me off. And I. And I was just so upset with all the choices I had made and where I put my family, kind of, in a sense. And I started to get nervous. And maybe, actually this was a bipolar beginning to show itself in me. And maybe I had what my mom had.

Wes Piatt [00:13:24]: And at the time, we just had. We had one child, and we were about to have our other one. And I was thinking to myself, you know, if you off yourself, these kids won't remember you, and your wife can remarry. Find somebody who's not in the financial situation you're in. Find somebody who doesn't have these triggers that you do and doesn't have all of this background. And you can actually, actually, really, maybe your job was really just to bring these kids here and to peace out. And I was really considering it. And I was considering it so much so that I actually created a list of things that I had to do before I did the thing, because me and Switch were in the military.

Wes Piatt [00:14:01]: I was in the Air Force as well for four years. And I was along with Switch, but I had quite a few friends who had committed suicide after getting out of the military. And that's what Switch does, is his other. This is where I usually start to get choked up a little bit with his other company that he has called. You Matter, and you Matter focuses on ending veteran suicide, which is obviously an epidemic that's happening around the world, and something that we need to work on and we are working on. But I digress. I was mad at every single one of them that did that because they didn't call me first and they didn't just go, hey, I'm struggling. I just wanted to let you know maybe you could help.

Wes Piatt [00:14:36]: And so one of the things on my list that I had to do is I had to reach out to people and let them know I'm not doing good. This is where I'm at, just letting you know. And I was too nervous to do that with the people that were closest to me because I didn't want my life to feel different. I wanted to be able to go to my family and my staff and everybody else and for things to be like, hey, we're doing our best. Like, keep it going. You know, like, we rock and roll. And not for them to be like, oh, poor you, and how can I help you? And all that. I didn't want that.

Wes Piatt [00:15:03]: So I reached out to a bunch of strangers on Instagram, a bunch of people that I kind of know, but don't really know in the CrossFit space, and just told them, like, hey, I'm struggling. I don't know if you're feeling the same, too, owning a CrossFit gym or being a CrossFit coach or any of that kind of stuff. And I just got back nothing. But, yes, I am struggling. This is tough. I've actually thought about doing that as well. And, like, I'm, like, I had multiple people go, thank you for reaching out to me, because I'm actually thinking about doing that. And this is just serendipitous.

Wes Piatt [00:15:30]: This is amazing. This is happening. And we just started meeting on this app called Marco Polo that my wife was using, actually, with her college roommate friends to stay in touch. And it's a really cool app that you can send a FaceTime video to any, anybody, and they can respond with another FaceTime video whenever they have time. And there's a bunch of other cool stuff you can do with it. But I was like, hey, would you guys want a battle buddy check? Let's just check in on each other, like, once a week and just keep the momentum going. And that slowly turned into over a hundred dudes around the world that call themselves We Bus Dudes and talk vulnerably on this app called Marco Polo about their struggles. And.

Wes Piatt [00:16:05]: And it's become an amazing thing, because right when we started it, we had one rule, and that rule was that you could not give advice. And when we say advice, objectively, what we mean that is something that you actually haven't experienced or been through yourself, but you feel you could maybe help somebody else out with. And this is what we call the bro advice. You call your buddy up. You're struggling with this thing. They've never been through it. They have no idea what you're going through, but they're like, oh, bro, here's what you're going to do. My cousin went through this thing, and here's the best way to fix it, and blah, blah, blah.

Wes Piatt [00:16:32]: And you're just like, that's not what I want from you right now. What I want from you is just to listen and to hear me and to sympathize and empathize with me, and that's all I really need. And so we made one rule. We said you can only share experiences. So you, come on, share your experience you're going through. For example, I'm going nuts. I can't get my Girls to get dressed and eat breakfast and out of the house in time and to school in time without it being just an absolute nightmare. Anybody else experiencing this as well, and you'll have like 50 dudes that will come on there, all varying ages, all kids of all ages, all been through the gamut and all coming with experiences of how they solved it in completely different ways.

Wes Piatt [00:17:12]: Ways. So now you have this experience where these people are getting to go, hey, yeah, here's how I did it. Here's how I did it. Here's how I did it. And then this guy just gets to go like, oh, maybe I'll use that. Maybe I'll use that. Maybe I'll use none of it. Maybe I'll use some of it.

Wes Piatt [00:17:24]: And the idea is that they're going, checking in to see, like, hey, I remember going through that. Where are you at now? Because I remember where I was at. And they check in. And so we both started in my garage on the floor, literally thinking about killing myself to where it's at now where I. We just did our last we bus camp in South Dakota and just looking around at all the guys there and all the things we were doing to Mount Rushmore, it was just. How do you go from being at that point to being at that point and within a relatively short amount of time? And the answer to that is with the brotherhood. We bus is just straight dudes that want to be better humans to make this world a better place. And the only way that they're doing that is by just sharing their traumas and their experiences with each other and being vulnerable and being open.

Wes Piatt [00:18:10]: And I'm very proud of it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:12]: Can definitely tell, I guess in thinking about that and thinking about what you went from, from where you were to where you are today, and you think about the business that you've created. I know that webus emphasizes collaboration, connection. And I guess as you think about that and what you're learning from other dads in relation to your own fatherhood journey itself, how does that collaboration and connection that you're do, that you're building in the organization, align with the way that you're either raising your daughters to interact with you or interact with others.

Wes Piatt [00:18:45]: It goes back to what Chris said earlier. We're trying to get dads to be the people they want their girls to marry.

Chris Roness [00:18:51]: Yeah. We have a kind of a little mantra on the webus. We. We tell folks, get off the struggle bus and get on the we bus because we're helping the world be a better place. One dad at A time and the power of the shared experience concept organically. Like, it's not like we designed it to do what it's doing beyond that, but the secondary and tertiary effects of what's happened is you don't see any really heavy discuss about beliefs regarding faith or politics or anything like that. But that's not to say that those things don't come up. They come up through a shared experience.

Chris Roness [00:19:22]: Hey, I'm going through something. I'm struggling with this thing I just saw, or I'm struggling with this direction I want to go with my faith. Does anybody have an experience with this? And then those folks will either break off and have a separate conversation on what we call a solo polo, or we even have topic rooms now, where, for example, we've got one called the workshop. And in the workshop, this is where dads have unique skills of handyman skills, whatever those might be. You can go in and go, hey, guys, I'm working on this today. Let me show you how I'm doing it in case you ever come across this, and vice versa. Maybe somebody is a dad now that didn't have a dad to show them how to fix a flat tire on a bicycle. Well, you could go to YouTube and look up that stuff.

Chris Roness [00:20:00]: But the difference is on webus, you go to the workshop, you can go, hey, guys, I'm gonna fix this flat tire. And you've already got a group of guys that you're connected to that will not only walk you through that, but they'll walk you through how that connects to a life experience or a connection that you can have with your child by maybe walking your child through how you're doing that at the exact same time, things like that. And it's just really powerful because the other organic thing that we've discovered with this is that men are coming out of the woodwork to join us on we bus because of this shared experience. And one of the interesting things that happens right off the bat is a new dad. Well, he's just going through it and he'll listen to what the other dads are saying for a while first before he even says anything. And then that dude will come on and just let it all out. And you can watch them. You can watch them just as they're letting it out.

Chris Roness [00:20:44]: And that becomes the beginning of the first step to how they're going to be a better dad. Because now they're open to gathering all this shared experience from everybody else and learning in a whole nuanced way that is not deliberate. It's not constructed, it's not academic. It is just life as it's happening in everybody's lives as we learn from each other. It's powerful.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:05]: You know, in thinking about those experiences where you've seen dads unburden themselves and be able to share the things that they're going through, can you share a moment for each of you where your connection with another dad through webus had an impact on your own fatherhood journey?

Wes Piatt [00:21:23]: Oh, my gosh, dude. So many. Every day there's something in there that we connect with with somebody. Like just the other day, I was connecting with Nick on CrossFit stuff and he tried his first CrossFit class and he was so nervous, and I was giving him all the ins and outs on how to do it and where to go and who to talk to and where not to stand and where to stand. And it's like a little like, insiders, insider. And that's what, you know, Chris was talking about with the. These groups that we have in these, like, breakout rooms. So you have like the main we bus and then all these breakout rooms that people can find their little niche in.

Wes Piatt [00:21:53]: And when they get in that niche, they really get to work through whatever that little thing is that they're struggling with, with people that are more connected to that little thing too. Nick was really struggling just with wanting to improve his fitness a little bit more. And he just like, you know, I'm stuck at a wall. I don't know where to go from here. And there's like five dudes that came rushing in with, like, experience up the wazoo to be like, like, well, here's like 15 different things that you can do and choose what you want. We're here to support whatever way you need. That's rock and roll.

Chris Roness [00:22:20]: Yeah. I'm telling you, there's like this deeper level. I can't point to one exactly, like, one particular thing because there's so many things that I've learned from all these guys across the gamut. I mean, when I started on Webus, I wasn't doing CrossFit, although I was familiar with the sport because we would do it when I was deployed in the military and I just retired from the military, had landed myself in a small town and was trying to find, like, we got spoiled in the military. Here's the gym, here's the everything you need right there on the base. And now I'm in this small town trying to find those same resources, and I couldn't find them anywhere. And I was able to go on here and talk to these guys that did CrossFit and go, hey, tell me some more. Now, I do it regularly, and I've learned that for me, that particular sport isn't something I do for the fitness.

Chris Roness [00:22:59]: To me, fitness is the byproduct. I go to the gym for the community. But in that vein, like, one of the things that happens through these dialogues, as you start to learn more about these guys at a deeper level. And so Wes, we've known each other what, three years maybe?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:12]: Yeah, right.

Chris Roness [00:23:13]: Well, check this out. I just learned. I was yesterday years old when I learned that Wes plays the drum. And it's all because we started a recent topic group called the Bandwagon, where guys that play musical instruments or just want to talk about the songs that they enjoy can get in that chat room and play music together or talk about music or whatever. And Wes is like, yeah, here's my trap set. I'm like, what, dude? You play the drums?

Wes Piatt [00:23:33]: Like.

Chris Roness [00:23:33]: Like, we've been very close. We've had very deep conversations, and I never knew this. Here's another example. One of the guys on weboss is a good friend of mine that I went through basic training with over 20, like almost 30 years ago. And me and this guy have talked regularly for 30 years. And it was not until he joined Webus that I learned he was a Batman fanatic. Had no idea. 30 years I knew the guy, had no idea.

Chris Roness [00:23:55]: He loved Batman. And that's kind of what happens. You get into this level of understanding somebody just through shared experience on a different perspective or scale. And there's all these resources right there for you. If you just. One of the things we do is what we call rfi. Request for information. Hey, guys, I'm getting ready to make a decision.

Chris Roness [00:24:11]: Has anybody dealt with this? And it's powerful.

Wes Piatt [00:24:13]: Yeah, that's how I got my financial planner, actually.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:15]: As interacting with dads in this way and as you're listening and you're taking in all that they're experiencing, I know that you've got dads and non dads that are in the community that. But in talking with the dads, what are some of the challenges, the unique challenges that you're seeing that these dads are collectively having? And how is your organization working to either connect those dads together or help them to be able to work through those in different ways? What have you learned through this venture that you've been on?

Chris Roness [00:24:49]: And I'll offer one right now. The number one thing that we see consistent is that dads feel like, they're doing it alone. They feel like they're in it alone, that they've got to be the strong horse for the family. They've got to push through. They've got to do all the things, and they can't just. Like what Wes was saying, like, they can't let those people know that they're going through a moment, or at least they think that, because they have to be the strong horse. And. And when they come into the we bus, we see that every single time.

Chris Roness [00:25:17]: And I would offer that there's a byproduct of using the app that we use with Marco Polo that everybody has benefited from because they mention it. And that is, as dads, we want to be problem solvers right off the bat. That's our job. Hey, you got a problem? I heard my wife talk about this. I'm gonna go fix this. I heard my kid talk about this thing. I'm gonna go fix this thing. But especially as dads of daughters, you leave the video.

Chris Roness [00:25:38]: Guess what? In order to listen to that video, you've got to literally sit there and watch it and listen. And the byproduct is we've all become much better listeners, and we're all present as a result of that. And I think that's one of the things that we all struggle with as dads is how not to just be problem solvers, but to be present and listening and to realize that we're not in it alone, that there are other dads going through it too.

Wes Piatt [00:25:59]: Do.

Chris Roness [00:25:59]: And. And we can all connect around nothing but just that singular thing of fatherhood. And it's just amazing.

Wes Piatt [00:26:05]: Yeah. I mean, there's so many things. And I think this is why we created. We call them dojos, and they're these little breakout groups that we have. And we have dads that are going through divorces. We have dads that are thinking about getting a divorce and trying not to. We've got dads that are losing their job and trying to find a new job. We've got dads that are trying to get in shape.

Wes Piatt [00:26:23]: We've got dads that have. Were in shape and now are trying to get back in shape. We've got dads that are trying to do everything. And so by creating these smaller group, one of the things that Chris really hammered on was Maslow's hierarchy of needs and the amount of people you can actually have in your life and actually communicate well with and make sure you're creating actual deep connections with. It's got to be small. So we Keep those groups relatively small, eight to 10 people max. And we keep the people that are in there experts. Like, we gotta have somebody in that group that's an expert in this thing in some way and can give you sound advice and help you out with where you really need it the most.

Chris Roness [00:26:56]: And to piggyback on that a little bit, it's not just about the dad that's struggling. It's about the dad that's achieving high goals like Wes talked about. I mean, one of our dads started out as an alcoholic three years ago and weighed, like, almost 300 pounds. The dude has lost, like, 150 pounds, and now he's an Ironman athlete.

Wes Piatt [00:27:11]: We call him 75 heart because he's gone through that so many times, and he's become such a different human being. It's insane. It's literally. It's like biggest loser transformation, but, like, in a healthy way now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:25]: I always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad Connection six, where I give you six more questions to delve a little bit more into you as dads. You ready?

Wes Piatt [00:27:33]: Yeah. Good.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:34]: What's one word that describes your relationship with your daughters?

Chris Roness [00:27:39]: Love.

Wes Piatt [00:27:39]: I was going to ask if I could use loving kindness as one word, but yes, love.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:43]: What's the best piece of dad advice that you've ever received?

Wes Piatt [00:27:48]: That it goes really fast and so be present. That's the only thing I found universally true.

Chris Roness [00:27:53]: Yeah. It's the same as, hey, 18 years. Goes really quick. Capitalize on the moment. The power of that moment.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:00]: What's one activity that you and your daughters love to do together?

Wes Piatt [00:28:05]: Oh, my gosh. Going to the beach or going skateboarding. Anything that has to do with activity, like just being. We got a big trampoline out back. It's like 10 times a day. Can we go jump on the trampoline? You know, like, yeah, let's go. But anything physical activity wise, they just want to go do it.

Chris Roness [00:28:18]: Yeah, it's the same with my daughters. They. They are all very active and. And very musically talented. One of the things that we all do together is we. We sing and play music together on our church youth group, and it's a blast.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:29]: If you could give your daughters one lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Wes Piatt [00:28:34]: You're not perfect. Life's not perfect, and that's okay.

Chris Roness [00:28:37]: I would say choose the person that you want to be with and the life you want to have very carefully. Those will be the two most important choices you ever make in your life.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:46]: What's one thing you've learned about yourself since becoming a dad.

Wes Piatt [00:28:51]: Oh, man. I would say that failure is okay. I've learned honestly that because, like, I've said that my whole life. Yeah, failure is great. You learn from it. You grew from it. Let's go. Hoorah.

Wes Piatt [00:29:00]: You know, and then. But when you fail, you're really upset about it. You don't really learn from it. You don't really take it. But I've really learned that. No, guess what, bro? You're gonna fail hard no matter how much you prepare. And that's good as long as, like what we talked about before, you come back and repair it and do what you need to do.

Chris Roness [00:29:16]: The greatest growth and connection happens when you step out of your comfort zone. Man, changing diapers, the way I grew up was a mom's job, but I got all into that. And the same thing with braiding hair and all the things is that big tough guy stuff. No, but man, the magic that happens with that. And that's where the connections are at and that's where the growth occurred.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:37]: And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Wes Piatt [00:29:46]: I wouldn't. I would just share experiences.

Chris Roness [00:29:48]: The advice I'm going to give comes from a good friend of mine, Lindsay Ko, who lost his daughter to suicide. And I asked him what would he have done differently and he said, I would have been present more often. I would have just been present.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:00]: Well, Wes, Chris, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing what you are doing with your own daughters, but also what you're doing with Webus. And if people want to find out more about Webus, where should they go?

Wes Piatt [00:30:11]: Www.webusint.com and fill out the interest interest form. You'll see it on the menu bar up top. And then our buddy Jeremy or Alan will reach out to you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:23]: Well, again, I just want to say thank you. Thank you both for all that you're doing to be able to connect dads with other dads, men with other men. It's so important. It's so important for men to have those connections in their life. And I really appreciate all the work that you're doing with that and thank you for sharing your own journeys with your daughters. And I wish you all the best.

Wes Piatt [00:30:42]: Same to you, Chris. Thanks for doing what you do in this space and keeping it going for so long. I really appreciate it.

Chris Roness [00:30:48]: Absolutely, dude. Keep staying awesome. Chris, we really appreciate this, man. And we look forward to seeing all the other videos that are coming after this one and the ones before for sure. That's a wrap for this episode of.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:58]: The dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect, it's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can find all our episodes at dadanddaughterconnection.com until next time, keep showing up, keep connecting and keep being the dad she needs.

Musical Performer [00:31:28]: We're all in the same boat and it's full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we give the lessons we make the meals we buy them presents Bring your A game cause those kids are growing fast the time goes.

Musical Performer [00:31:58]: By just like a dynamite blast Calling.

Musical Performer [00:32:03]: Astronauts and firemen carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to.

Musical Performer [00:32:11]: Them.

Musical Performer [00:32:15]: Be the best dad you can be.

Musical Performer [00:32:20]: Be the best that you can be.

Parenting doesn't come with a manual, but that doesn't mean you're alone on the journey. In the recent episode of the "Dad and Daughter Connection" podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis sits down with Tia Slightham, creator of the Parenting With Purpose method and a coach to high-achieving parents. This insightful conversation dives deep into the challenges, growth, and opportunities both dads (and all parents) face when raising confident, emotionally secure daughters.

One of the standout themes from the episode is the importance of breaking cycles—especially those rooted in our own upbringing. Tia shares how her father broke the cycles of abuse and alcoholism from his own childhood, emphasizing that while he didn't always have the resources or know-how, his willingness to try made a lasting impact. She encourages listeners that "breaking cycles is something I think we all have the power to do," reminding us that parenting is ultimately a learned skill.

Tia explores different parenting styles—what she calls the "overpowering tiger," the "wet doormat," and her preferred "positive discipline parent." She describes how her own parents modeled these behaviors, and how she's forged a new path centered on connection, mutual respect, and discipline without punishment. For dads looking to build stronger relationships with their daughters, she recommends focusing less on forcing behaviors and more on connecting through empathy, listening, and presence.

A practical tool Tia shares is "Golden Time"—spending 10 focused, device-free minutes a day doing an activity your child chooses. It's a simple but powerful strategy that helps rebuild connection, whether you're dealing with young children or teenagers.

The episode also covers the struggles parents face with emotional connection and communication. Tia urges dads not to shy away from sharing their own experiences and emotions, showing that vulnerability can build empathy and trust. She advises parents to shift their language, replacing "if" statements with "when," to reduce power struggles and foster more respectful interactions.

Ultimately, this podcast offers hope and actionable advice for any parent feeling overwhelmed, stuck in chaos, or disconnected from their kids. Tia's core message is clear: change starts with us—and it's never too late to build the relationship you want with your daughter.

Ready for more stories, expert advice, and practical tips? Listen to the full episode to start building stronger bonds and raising confident, independent daughters!

If you enjoyed this episode we ask you to take a moment to take our Dad and Daughter Connection Survey to let us know more about you as a dad. You can also sign up to get our newsletter to stay connected to our community and we will send items of interest to you to help you to be the dad that you want to be. Feel free to follow me on the following social media platforms: Facebook, Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, X.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:02]: Welcome to the dad and Daughter Connection, the podcast for dads who want to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. If you're looking to build a stronger bond with your daughter and help her grow into a confident, independent woman, you're in the right place. I'm Dr. Christopher Lewis, and the dad and Daughter Connection is the podcast where we dive into real stories, expert advice, and practical tips to help you navigate the incredible journey of fatherhood. In every episode, we'll bring you conversations that inspire, challenge, and equip you to show up as the dad your daughter needs. So let's get started. Because being a great dad isn't just about being there. It's about truly connecting.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:51]: Welcome back to the dad and Daughter Connection, where every week we have an opportunity. We have an opportunity to be able to up our game, to be able to help ourselves, to be those dads that we want to be and to be able to build those strong connections that we want to have with our own daughters. That, and I say that we have an opportunity, because we do. Because when you go into fatherhood, there is no set pathway. There's no manual, there's no set thing that you have to do to be the best dad you can ever be. But there are things that you can do to be successful and to be able to build solid relationships with your children to help them along the way. Those tools for your toolbox, per se, that you can have and take with you. And a lot of times you can learn from others.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:39]: You can learn from others, whether it's your neighbor, whether it's a friend, whether it's someone you don't even know. They can help you along the way by giving you some of the tidbits, some of the things that they've learned along the way to help you to become stronger as well. That's why this podcast exists. This podcast is here to help you, to give you some of those tools for your toolbox, to help you to be able to be the dad that you want to be. And that's why every week I love being able to bring you different guests with different experiences that can provide you with some perspective and challenge you in some different ways, to be able to help you think about fatherhood in different ways as well. So you're going to meet fathers, mothers, and others that are here to be able to give you some resources. And today we got another great guest. Tia Slytum is with us today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:26]: And Tia is a creator of the Parenting With Purpose method and a coach of high achieving parents, and she works with parents to be able to help them to get through some of the challenging points, but also work in many different ways to be able to become those strong parents that you want to become. We're going to learn about the parenting with purpose method today, but we're also going to learn a little bit more about Tia and. And her own experience with her own father and some of the things that she's learned along the way. So I'm really excited to have her here. Tia, thanks so much for being here today.

Tia Slightham [00:03:00]: Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to chat with you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:02]: You know, I'm really excited to have you here today. And as I said, I love being able to start these conversations first, focusing on your own relationship with your father. And every relationship is unique. Every relationship is different. Some are positive, some are negative, Some are somewhere in between. I guess one of the questions that I'd love to start with is, as a daughter, what's one thing that your father did to help you feel truly seen, heard, and valued as a daughter?

Tia Slightham [00:03:29]: Yeah, it's a really good question. I think when I look back at my childhood and then where I am today in the work I do in the line of, you know, my focus with parents and parenting and raising kids, a lot of what I learned from my parents, whether that be some positive, some negative, really shifted my mindset in the kind of parent I wanted to be and the kind of parent I wanted to help others be if they had the similar values and goals. And my. My dad had not a great upbringing, and I. One of the things I'm so passionate about is breaking cycles. And breaking cycles is something I think we all have the power to do. When you have that toolbox like you talked about in the beginning, and. And you have that skill set, because parenting is not intuitive.

Tia Slightham [00:04:14]: It's a learned skill. Whether you are a dad, whether you have little kids, big kids, it's all a skill set, and everybody's capable of learning it, but you have to be taught that. And so when I think about my dad, unfortunately, and sadly for him, he was not taught that he didn't have role models that he needed to have. You know, he had abusive parents and alcoholic parents, and he never had that chance to be seen, heard, and understood. And what I love most about my dad is, although I still shifted much of my parenting to not mimic his parenting, he really broke the cycle of abuse. He broke the cycle of alcoholism. He broke a lot of cycles. And so when I think about how my dad helped me be seen, heard and really understood in the early years.

Tia Slightham [00:05:03]: He wasn't great at that. He didn't know exactly how to do that. But as an overarching father, 100%, I'm very. And as an adult, our relationship is so close because he was able to have the strength to break the cycles in whatever way he could do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:21]: Now there's other dads that are out there that may be in those vicious cycles that, you know, they grew up in, and they're trying to break them themselves. Talk to me a little bit about what you saw your dad doing to break those cycles, or you're. What you're seeing other parents doing to try to break the cycles. And what are some suggestions or things that you might put out there for other fathers that might help them to do the same?

Tia Slightham [00:05:45]: Yeah. So one of the things I think it's really important to look at first is what exactly is our parenting style? Like, what is our style of parenting? And really, there are, like, three core parenting styles. I like to use my. My own terminology to help it stick into our brains, because I forgot what I had for lunch yesterday, and we all forget things. So let's try and remember these things. And so one of the parenting styles is what I refer to as the overpowering tiger. This is that authoritarian style. Whereas a parent, your kids need to listen to you because you said so.

Tia Slightham [00:06:17]: You're the adult, you're the boss. They need to respect you no matter what. And they should just do it because. And unfortunately, that's the style of parent my dad was. My dad was that overpowering tiger, where we are listening because we don't want to know what happens if we don't listen. And so we listen out of fear. We listen out from control, which is what I didn't want to do as a parent. My mom would make up for my dad's parenting style of overpowering tiger by being what I refer to as the wet doormat.

Tia Slightham [00:06:46]: This is that permissive parent who wants to set boundaries. And you want to show your kids how to be respectful and listen and cooperate, but you don't know how to hold and maintain what I call three Cs. Boundaries being super concrete, clear and consistent, and really learning to follow through with discipline and not punishment. And so I have these two different. This teeter tottering of parenting where we've got the overpowering tiger on one side and then the wet doormat trying to make up for the fact that the tiger is so overpowering. And both of those parenting styles are very confusing for kids. It doesn't show, you know, kids are born with two jobs. One is to please you, and one is to push boundaries until boundaries are found.

Tia Slightham [00:07:27]: And unfortunately, if you're the overpowering tiger, your kids are only listening when you are overpowering them, because that's the boundary they've learned. Whereas if you're the wet doormat, they're not listening. They're pushing. They're pushing. They're pushing until you hit your breaking point and either give in, give them extra chances, or you then turn into that overpowering tiger. So either way, that's creating the cycles that parents most often want to break. And so the goal is really to become, you know, in my opinion, in my practice, that number three parenting style, which I recall to as the positive discipline parent. So you're really that mutual respect parent where our kids listen and they show us respect because we listen and we show them respect.

Tia Slightham [00:08:12]: And that's really, really how you build a strong connection and bond so your kids can learn life's hard lessons, but in a way where they don't feel overpowered, they don't feel fearful, and they don't feel like they can walk all over you, because kids really do need a guide, a teacher, and a leader. And that's where we really want to work to kind of find that balance.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:31]: Talk to me about that a little bit further. Go a little bit deeper in regards to your own experience with that and what made you kind of develop that framework for. For others. What was it in your own childhood that made you decide that as you were developing this framework that you needed to develop or unpack that for yourself?

Tia Slightham [00:08:52]: Yeah, I mean, I think about some kind of, you know, we create these core memories in our childhood. And I always say to parents, our actions and our words, what we role model today, they live with our kids forever. Like, we have such a huge impact on our kids. And it can either be positive or it can be negative. And I think about some of those core memories as a child, and yet I still have positive ones of both my parents, but the ones that really stick with you are those not so positive ones. And I can remember being really little and wetting the bed and really feeling so sad and so shameful and so afraid to have to, like, tiptoe downstairs in my nightie, sopping wet to try and get to my mom's side of the bed so that my dad wouldn't harp at me and make me feel terrible for wetting the bed. And no, no child needs to feel like that. No human needs to feel like that.

Tia Slightham [00:09:47]: Because kids don't. You know, Jane Nelson of the founder of positive discipline, you know, always says this amazing quote, and it's kids do better when they feel better. So where do we get this crazy idea that we're going to make somebody feel worse to get them to do better? And if you think about it, like, when have we ever had a boss who just yells at you and screams at you and tells you how stupid you are and how dumb you are and how awful you've done? And then we say to ourselves, yeah, I'm going to work harder next time. I'm going to just show up. No, we, we feel squished under a rock. We feel it's debilitating. We don't build the confidence and skills to do better. And so as a parent, I knew I didn't want my kids to ever be afraid to come to me with anything.

Tia Slightham [00:10:32]: I never wanted them to feel scared. I never wanted to them feel like I was making them feel stupid or shameful. And I wanted them to know that I'm always in their corner. And I think as a child, I never really knew that my dad was in my corner, even though I knew he loved me because of his parenting style. And that's not what he wanted to portray. It's just that's all he knew.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:56]: As you look at your father now, or have. I should have asked before. Your father is still alive. Okay. As you talk to your father now and he can see what you're doing with other parents, talk to me about conversations that you've had as you become an adult. In looking back at what he did as a father and what you're doing now and how those either connect or disconnect.

Tia Slightham [00:11:22]: Yeah. So together, him and I haven't discussed a lot about my childhood. We've sort of just moved through as adults and built an amazing relationship. I'm gonna fly home and see him next week and play a couple rounds of golf with him and have lunch, which I'm really looking forward to. But what I noticed from my dad is he pays attention to what I'm doing. And when I see him with my boys, his grandsons, I can tell he knows where he, he wished he made changes and where he wished he had the support to make changes. Which is why I love what you're doing for dads out there. And I've left a five star review, so everybody else should go and do that as well.

Tia Slightham [00:12:04]: Who's listening? Because dads and parents of all parents need support. And I think what's most Important when my dad sees the line of work I'm in and the success of the business I've buil is the sadness I think he has that he didn't have that support and he didn't have somebody show him what to do or how to be better. And I think he's worked hard to be better as a dad of adults and as a grandfather.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:28]: I appreciate you sharing that. Now, I mentioned that you have this method, and we've kind of been talking a little bit about it already as I looked at it and I kind of explored it myself. I know that you've guided a lot of different families. I think your website said over 5000 families through your parenting with purpose framework. Talk to me a little bit about the core principles beyond what we've already been talking about. And why do you think that they resonate so strongly with parents who feel struck, feel stuck in chaos?

Tia Slightham [00:12:57]: Yeah, most parents, and this is what makes us so different and so successful in what we do, is most parents are looking for quick tips and tricks. They're scouring the Internet. They're googling, they're reading books. They're just. They're. They're doing small mini courses. They're just trying desperately to fix the problem and get their kids to listen, get them to cooperate, get them to be respectful. The challenge is it's not about getting our kids to do, it's about getting ourselves to do.

Tia Slightham [00:13:25]: And really, the key is shifting what you're doing as a parent to then shift your child's behavior. So most of us live in this core struggle of forcing our kids, forcing our kids to listen, forcing them to cooperate, forcing them to do their homework, forcing them to get off their device, forcing them. And it's just this constant negative battle because we're basically telling our kids, you're the problem, you need to be fixed, and you're the reason I'm so upset. So an ability to connect with your kids in that moment is almost impossible because they are feeling the weight of this being all their issue. So we're not building confidence. We're not building security. We're not building trust. But what we do inside our program is we say, hey, you know what, kids? This isn't your problem.

Tia Slightham [00:14:08]: This is our issue. I'm the adult. I need to learn how to do better. I need to learn how to use effective language. I need to learn how to discipline without punishment. So no more yelling, reminders, empty threats, taking things away, bribery, rewards. I need to learn how to. To solve my challenges in my parenting so that I can help you be the best you can be.

Tia Slightham [00:14:31]: And I think when we're searching for quick tips and. And tips, we're still focusing on the child. And so it might work today, but it doesn't work tomorrow, or it might work with one child, it doesn't work with the other, and nothing's giving you lasting results. Because the root of the issue isn't your child's behavior. The root of your issue is your parenting, your current parenting st and what needs to be shifted.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:51]: You know, one of the things that I've learned in talking to a lot of dads is dads want to support their kids, but sometimes struggle to connect emotionally. And I think we talked a little bit about some of your own experience with that, with your own father. What lessons from your method and working with parents can dads use to adapt to strengthen their own parenting approach?

Tia Slightham [00:15:13]: Yeah, connection, I think, is like the biggest issue for parents and kids, whether it's sons, daughters, moms, dads. If we don't have a strong connection, we're really lost, and our kids are lost, and we're lost. And one of the tools that we use in our program, which I coined Golden Time, my son, when he was 4, actually named it Golden Time, and it's stuck since then. And you can call it whatever you want. And I'm going to actually give all your listeners a free copy to download and implement this, because sometimes we don't know where to start, especially when we're stuck in these really deep cycles. And it just feels like your kids are saying, I hate you. I don't want to be around you. You're the worst dad ever.

Tia Slightham [00:15:50]: Like, you don't know. You don't get me. You don't understand. How would you know? And we feel almost trapped, like we're stuck in quicksand, and we don't know where to begin. And I want parents to know that you can begin with just 10 minutes a day. Like, 10 minutes a day can have a really big impact. Even five minutes a day can have a really big impact. And so I want parents to download this at the end of the episode and really start implementing.

Tia Slightham [00:16:14]: It's a chance for you to connect with your kids without your devices. Yes, I know that feels tricky for all of us. But without your devices, really allowing your kids, whether you have young kids, young daughters to choose a fun activity, if they like to bake or they like to play dolls, or they like to color or do trucks or whatever it is they like to do, or for older kids, you know, being a mom of a teen to just sit and chat or to go for a walk or to do a TikTok dance with them, or to go get an ice cream cone. There are things you can do that are low pressure that will allow you to spend 5, 10, 15 minutes not talking about homework, not talking about the things they're not doing, not talking about the fact they didn't make their bed and do their chores. Because we need to get to a place where we can build a connection so you then can get them to do those other things. But if you don't start with a connection, it's a really big uphill battle.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:05]: It definitely can be an uphill battle. Now, you emphasize raising confidence, emotionally secure kids. What does that look like in practice, especially for our daughters who are growing up into young women with their own voices?

Tia Slightham [00:17:21]: I think that what you just said right there is the most important piece. They need to have their own voice. And if we are, if our parenting style is stuck in that permissive parenting or that authoritarian parenting and we're that tiger in that doormat, we're not allowing our kids to really have a voice. We're not creating a mutual respect environment. We're really creating, creating, you know, that hierarchy environment where we're kind of overpowering our kids and we want to, like I said, still be the guide, the teacher and the leader. But what's so important is, I think about it with my own two boys, you know, who are 14 and 16, both almost six feet tall. I'm only five, three, so they could really force me to do things physically, and I can't force them to do things. And we have to get to a place where our kids want to do the right thing and they feel good about doing the right thing.

Tia Slightham [00:18:08]: And that intrinsic drive and motivation is what motivates, moves them to make great choices and be responsible and be independent and thrive. The challenge is, is if we are stuck yelling and reminding and power struggling. And if you don't do that, you're not going to have your phone and I'm going to take this away from you. They're never going to have a voice. And so I really encourage parents to remember that less is more. And a lot of times we start harping and nagging and harping and nagging, and I can tell you, your kids aren't listening to it. They have learned to tune you out and they're not listening. So I want you to really challenge yourself and ask yourself, am I actually listening to my kids or am I Trying to win an argument and nobody is winning.

Tia Slightham [00:18:52]: In a power struggle, you think about it like a game of tug of war, you might win because you finally give in. I mean, you might win because you finally yell and get so loud that they say, okay, fine, I guess I better do this. Or they win because you get so exhausted that you give. In both those scenarios, nobody won. So if you are in power struggles with your kids, nobody's winning. So I challenge you to put your end of the rope down and to say this isn't about winning, less is more. And am I really listening to what my child needs here? It doesn't mean you're not going to have a voice and an opinion, but we do need to listen. And one of the things I can ask, you know, all of your listeners to kind of do a litmus check on is how often you use that most detrimental two letter word.

Tia Slightham [00:19:32]: And no, it's not the word. No, it's actually the word. If we use the word if all day long. If you don't do this, this, if you don't knock that off, if you do that one more time, if you're not ready by this time, if you, you know I'm going to leave you. If you're not ready, I' going to pay your cell phone bill if you don't do this. We're just constantly on our kids with these ifs. If is the number one power struggle word. And as soon as you say the word, if your kids are saying they want to challenge me, sure, I'll come up against them, no problem.

Tia Slightham [00:20:00]: So what we want to do is swap out the word if and simply use the word when. So instead of if you don't do your homework, no phone. When your homework is done, then you may use your phone. Instead of if your shoes aren't on, I'm leaving you. I know you're not leaving your child. So let's not use empty threats that aren't true. When your shoes are on, then we can go. So what we're doing is we're empowering, we're giving choice, we're letting them know that they, they have some control in this situation.

Tia Slightham [00:20:24]: But we're not creating power struggles. We're actually creating mutual respect. So thinking about your language, less is more. Let's swap out if and use when for some simple things. You can start, you know, right away today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:35]: I love that. And it is a, I'm going to say an easy switch, but it might not be easy because it's like any change in your Routine. You get into those routines and. And it's going to be not always easy to change those routines, but you can slowly make those adjustments to be able to move in the right direction.

Tia Slightham [00:20:55]: Yep. And just by listening to this, parents are going to all of a sudden catch themselves saying, oh, I just said if again, shoot. I just said if again, shoot. That's great. Because that awareness, we call those awareness flags. You can't make changes if you don't know where you are. And so the awareness is actually a huge step forward because you didn't have that before. And the more you keep catching yourself, the better you're gonna get at it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:17]: Now, I know even in my own experience in raising daughters and working with my spouse, there are definite challenges that mothers and daughters have. And I know you work with a lot of moms who, as your website says, are tired of guilt, yelling, and power struggles. What can dads do or what can dads learn from the struggles that moms are facing? And how can they step in as true partners?

Tia Slightham [00:21:45]: I think a lot of times parents feel like if they're not completely aligned, they can't get the results they're looking for. Like, if my, for example, my husband wants to keep yelling and I don't, then I have to just keep on this path because they don't want to make changes. And our kids will never change if we both don't change. What I want you to really think about is that, that zero parents making change, zero results happen. One parent makes a change, and you see a change, you have results. And I always say, we're not going to force our kids and we're not going to force our partner. We have to role model it. So if you are struggling, I always say, ask for help.

Tia Slightham [00:22:25]: Ask for help, whether that's from your partner, if your partner's able to help you, or an outside source and you do what you need to do. I see often there's the good cop, bad cop one, parents saying no to everything, and then the kids go to the other parent because the other parent is going to give in. And so it's just constant confusion for kids. And so I think as a partnership, it's important to see what are the dynamics in each of those relationships. Do we need outside help to help in this situation, or is this something we. We have the skill set to resolve? And one of the things I say to parents with that less is more kind of common theme is saying nothing is better than saying something. So if your partner is getting really heated, have a tag out System where she's like, I'm tagging out because less is more and I don't want to say something I regret. So I'm going to walk away and you can step in.

Tia Slightham [00:23:14]: And I know it's really helpful if two parents are supporting one another to have a tagout system, because you don't have to solve each problem in that moment. You can step away, you can think about it, you can calm your nervous system, you can take deep breaths, and you can really think about how you want to respond to that situation versus staying in it. Heightening, on fire, sweating and reacting, because then we're gonna say something and do something we regret.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:41]: You know, sometimes dads worry about overstepping when their daughter's going through emotional challenges, either themselves or with their mom. How can a dad be present without overshadowing the experience that the daughter is in or overshadowing that mother daughter bond?

Tia Slightham [00:24:00]: I think it's so important. I, I know there's sort of the stereotype that dads don't share their emotions as much. And I'm, I'm not put everybody in a shoebox by any means, but I think there's nothing better than a dad who's willing to just share a bit about their experience. What was it like when they grew up? What, what, when did they feel that same way that their child might be feeling in that moment? Maybe what lesson did they learn later in life? Because a lot of times it does happen to be the moms who are maybe dealing with some of the more emotional things, and it's not always the case, but I think there's no greater impact than having a male role model and a father figure be able to show emotion, have emotion, and let their kids know that emotions are okay from anybody. And I think that's something. When I was growing up and going back to my dad, never really had connected with me about emotions or never really connected with me about sadness or feelings. And I know he was very sad. I mean, any child who was raised that way is very sad.

Tia Slightham [00:25:05]: And I think being open and honest to the best of our ability because it's not always easy to do in situations where our kids are feeling really upset helps them feel less alone versus us telling them how they should feel, because that often undermines their emotions versus us sharing our experience and our emotions to help build that connection.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:26]: You know, as I think about what you've been saying, a lot of times there are, as you said, the parents that are looking for the quick wins, they're looking for the Advice, they're looking for something that they can do right away. And parenting advice can. Overwhelming at times. If you could give dads just one or two practical, try this today, strategies from your framework, what would they be?

Tia Slightham [00:25:46]: I think we've given a few of them today, for sure, that I want you to keep on that checklist for sure. Really thinking about your language, thinking about your parenting style and where you need to make some shift shifts, and really, for sure working on doing golden time with your kids. But I think when we look at kind of a framework and a method, it's a giant puzzle, and it's all the pieces of the puzzle that we really need to think about. And so, so often when parents say, my kids don't listen to me, to their homework after school, let's say, and it's a big battle and it takes me three hours, it's not the homework that's the issue. It's the things that came before the homework that were the issue. It was the way we were setting things up or not setting things up. And so my point in that is, is that we need to be as proactive as we possibly can as parents. And that means setting the stage for success and not reacting in the moment.

Tia Slightham [00:26:38]: So if you're listening and you feel like you have bedtime challenges or listening challenges around doing homework or turning your device off or whatever the challenge area is, I want you to ask yourself, do I have a complete system and boundary in place, or am I just telling my kids what to do? So what we do typically is we say our boundaries, and we don't set our boundaries. So you say to your kids, you need to get ready. Then you, you know, you need to do this, you need to do this, you need to do this. And you think they speak English, they speak your language. Of course they understand. Why aren't they doing it? They're doing it on purpose. They're doing it to be. They're going into revenge mode.

Tia Slightham [00:27:16]: They're purposely trying to make me angry. No, no, no. Every behavior has a deep rooted purpose. And it's never just to make you angry. It's our kids. Kids lashing out to try and get some of their needs met. Okay. Which is what one of the things we help parents do in our program with our behavior needs roadmap tool to get all those needs met.

Tia Slightham [00:27:35]: But what I want you to think about in this moment for what you do know is if I'm telling my kids what to do all the time, I'm saying boundaries, and I'm not setting boundaries. And in order to set a boundary, you've got to follow three steps. The first step is you need to identify what your expectations are from start to finish. What exactly needs to happen, what's the time frame, what needs to be completed first, what's the order? Go through it in detail. Step two, you need to do what we call ttp, Teach, train and practice. So we're not just telling our kids, we're making checklists, we're using visual charts with younger kids with pictures and words, we're using timers, we're ensuring they know the plan and we practice it. We have them write the list with us, we go through it, we discuss it, we maybe role model it for younger kids to show them what might be correct or not correct so they can correct you and you can learn that they know what to do. And then the third step is your follow through always needs to be set up in advance to avoid it becoming punishment.

Tia Slightham [00:28:34]: So what I mean is, if you tell your kids that they need to get ready in the morning before they use their phone and all of a sudden they're using their phone and you come downstairs and you say, that's it, no phone, you're done. You punish them because you got to overpower them and you got to decide what happened because you weren't happy happy with what they were doing. But on the flip side, if you have your expectations, you teach, train and practice and you set your follow through of when you choose to use your phone before your morning routine is completed. Then you're telling me you would like to break from your phone for the entire day and we'll try again tomorrow. Now, when they're on their phone before their morning routine is done, you don't need to be angry. You don't need to be mad. I'm really sorry you made that choice. It looks like you're taking a break from your phone and we'll try again tomorrow.

Tia Slightham [00:29:21]: So the difference is your kids learn to make choices that work for them or don't work for them, instead of you making all of their problems your.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:30]: Problems as we finish up today. You've built a seven figure coaching brand around this work which shows the need is real and widespread. What motivates you the most in helping parents and what gives you hope for the next generation of daughters growing up today.

Tia Slightham [00:29:48]: So my work is a true passion and I built the business just out of my love, really, that started with kids. I've always loved kids. I wanted to babysit from the time I was tiny I wanted to be a mom more than anything in the world. It is the best gift beyond. But my passion really comes from the fact that parenting can actually be really easy and it can be so enjoyable and it can be the best moments of your life and we can create the best moments for our kids lives. And we've worked with thousands of parents from around the world from various countries and they all come with common themes. They're crying, they're stressed, they're overwhelmed, they yell, they hate themselves for yelling, their kids don't listen, they wish they could build this connection and they don't know how. And where I feel most proud about the work we do is anybody who is committed to doing the work and allowing us to guide them.

Tia Slightham [00:30:39]: We have a hundred percent success rate. So there isn't a way to quote unquote fail in parenting when you have the right steps, the right accountability and the right guidance. So for any parent who truly wants to master parenting so that you can resolve your own relationship challenges but also role model to your kids how to one day parent their own kids, if they choose to have kids, then there's. There's no downside in learning how to do these things and it works every single time. So hence our success in our company is if parents weren't successful they would let us know. And luckily everybody who joins and does the work leaves totally 180. They're happy. They can't believe it.

Tia Slightham [00:31:20]: They thought nothing was going to work. The light switch has been flipped and their kids are going to bed early and they're staying in their beds and they're doing their homework and things they never thought possible. But it was because they were forcing their kids to try and make those changes. And of course our kids don't know how. We have to teach them and we have to show them the skills to do that. In joining our program we get to teach you exactly how to do that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:40]: Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our dad connection 6. I usually ask these to dads, but when I have moms on or other parents on, I always ask them questions and I'm going to ask them in a little bit different way because some are a little more dad centric. So I'm going to ask you as a mother as well and as a resource to dads, as you think about your own experience in being a parent, what's one word that describes your relationship with your sons?

Tia Slightham [00:32:09]: I would say warmth. I think have two. It makes me teary eyed whenever I talk about Them two, like I said, six feet, massive men who hug me goodbye every day, tell me they love me, still want to snuggle, still want to share things with me. They're very independent. They do their own thing. They've got their friends, they're. They're not with me all the time, but when we're together, everything is very warm. And I want them to know that emotions and warmth are great, whether you're a male or a female.

Tia Slightham [00:32:37]: And I think it's really important to try and build that warmth in young men as they grow up and also in young women.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:43]: What's the best piece of dad advice you've ever received from my dad?

Tia Slightham [00:32:49]: What I would say is the best advice is to never give up so you can accomplish, just like my dad did, by breaking the cycles. You can accomplish, you can create what you want to create, but you can't give up. And it doesn't mean it's going to be easy. It doesn't mean it's going to be perfect. It doesn't mean we're not going to have moments where we feel like we're failing. But by not giving up, it's the only way to see really what's possible. And my dad has definitely shown me that through his own life and his own accomplishments.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:19]: What's one activity that you and your sons love doing together?

Tia Slightham [00:33:23]: Oh, we love to golf together. I picked up golf a few years ago just mainly because I have two boys and they were loving it. And I thought, where could I spend some serious time with my boys? And we all know if, you know, golfers, golf takes up a lot of time. Time. And we'll go out and we'll talk and we'll spend the afternoon together. We listen to music in the golf cart. If we're driving or we're walking, you end with a great meal. And the amount of connecting and conversation and openness that happens when you're out on the golf course is something I really cherish.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:55]: If you could give your son's one life lesson in a single sentence, what would it be?

Tia Slightham [00:33:59]: To do your best and not care what anybody else thinks. Thanks. Because your best is always enough. And your best is never to be looked down upon, even if you don't feel like you succeeded how you wanted to. But your best is all that anybody can ask for. But most importantly, it's all that you should ask for.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:18]: What's one thing you've learned about yourself since becoming a mom?

Tia Slightham [00:34:21]: Since becoming a mom, I guess what I've realized most is we can do anything and everything. I mean, we are amazing creatures as humans. It is fascinating to create kids. Kids, raise kids. See this fact, the fact that we create little human beings. And I think I'm pretty proud of the relationship I have with my boys. Although not perfect, nobody's perfect. And I don't want anybody to think that just because I'm a parenting coach and my boys are in my amazing doesn't mean that we don't have mistakes and that we're not perfect.

Tia Slightham [00:34:52]: And so one thing I've learned is that we can really accomplish anything we want to accomplish. We can do a hell of a lot of amazing things, and it doesn't have to be perfect in order to be amazing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:35:01]: And finally, what advice would you give to other dads who want to build a lasting and meaningful relationship with their daughters?

Tia Slightham [00:35:08]: I think the advice is to know that you're not going to create that with little random bits and pieces and to find somebody that can help you really break those cycles and shift that dynamic. If you're in a rut that you've been in for years. Most parents have been stuck in these challenges and these cycles for years. And to ask for help. Because when you ask for help, not only do things get better for you and your relationship with your own daughter, but you also role model to your kids that asking for help is a strength and that we are not perfect, that we also need to learn and we also need to grow. And I think there's no better way to empower your kids than to say, hey, I need some help with this and I'm going to get some help. Because this is something I don't have. All figures figured, completely figured out.

Tia Slightham [00:35:56]: Because sometimes I think our kids think they're just the ones that don't have things figured out. And we have it all figured out. And I think you really build a bond and connection with your kids when you're willing to own up to your faults, ask for help and really empower by showcasing that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:36:08]: Now, if people want to find out more about your method or get more information about you, where should they go?

Tia Slightham [00:36:14]: Yeah, I think the easiest way is to head over to Instagram. My Instagram handle is TIA Parenting Coach. So TIA Parenting Coach. And if you head over there, not only will you find tons of videos and tips and strategies and information, but most importantly, I've put together a really special battle free parenting bundle for all of your listeners. These are things that my highest paying clients get inside our program, but I want to give it to your listeners because Like I said, this is a passion project for me and I want to help as many parents as I can. So if they, if you head on over to Tia, parenting coach and DM us the word dads, we are going to give you access to two amazing tools and resources. So if you're a parent who's yelling power, struggling, not feeling connected to your daughter, you're feeling like you're losing that connection, time is running out. You need to figure this out.

Tia Slightham [00:37:05]: Then you're going to want to head over there and DMS dads and you're going to have access to our Golden Time 5 ingredient 10 minutes a day tool that's going to turn things around so quickly as well as an opportunity to join my team or myself on a breakthrough call where we are going to connect with you personally on zoom, talk about your challenges, talk about where you're stuck, see what your goals are, what you want to do achieve, and really help set up a 90 day plan for you so you can start working towards that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:37:32]: Well, Tia, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for everything that you're doing to be able to support parents in so many different ways, for sharing your own experience with your own father, but also the experiences that you've had with other parents. Because the things that you've shared today are definitely things that all of us can do to be able to start that process of building stronger connections with our kids. And I just want to say thank you and I wish you all the best.

Tia Slightham [00:37:59]: Thank you so much.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:00]: That's a wrap for this episode of the dad and Daughter Connection. Thanks for joining us on this journey to build stronger bonds and raise confident, independent daughters. Remember, being an engaged dad isn't about being perfect. It's about being present. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and share it with a fellow dad. And don't forget, you can. You can find all our [email protected] until next time, Keep showing up, keep connecting and keep being the dad she needs.

Tia Slightham [00:38:31]: We're all in the same boat and it's full of tiny screaming passengers we spend the time, we get the lessons, we make the meals, we buy them presents and bring your A game Cause those kids are growing fast the time goes by just like a dynamite blast Calling astronauts and firemen carpenters and muscle men get out and be the world to them. Be the best dad you can be Be the best dad you can.