The Dad I Want To Be with Mike Forrester

Fear can quietly become a man's jailer, and the way out often starts with one step he swore he'd never take. My guest Dave Albin knows that jail well. His biological father died by suicide two months before he was born. At five, his aunt and uncle adopted him. At 11, they told him they weren't his parents, and soon both of them started drinking. That same year, Dave took his first drink of brandy from their cabinet. He calls himself an alcoholic from that moment. By his junior year he was out of high school and into hard drugs. Years later, he was addicted to alcohol, cocaine, and heroin and living in the basement away from his stepkids. On June 8, 1988, he wanted the pain to stop. Thinking of those kids is what led him to call Alcoholics Anonymous, and he has been sober since that day.

On the fire lane, a trainer told Dave to keep his eyes up. That one instruction captures much of what he teaches. Don't stare at what you fear. Look to the other side. Dave learned that the first step makes every step after it possible. He also learned to ask a different question: if fear couldn't stop me, what would I try? Fear went from running his life to guiding it. He started a business, left a bad relationship, and went after what he wanted. When the inner voice calls him worthless, he answers it with what he has already done. He tells men to stop negotiating with themselves and to see that every habit is a pattern they can learn to control. In his corporate events, people write on a board what they're moving toward and what they're leaving behind. They add the names of anyone they need to forgive, then break the board and throw it in the fire.

The turn in Dave's story came through other men. A man named Lauren drove him to his first AA meeting. Another man named John called the next morning and took him to breakfast and another meeting. Years later, a total stranger at a Tony Robbins event asked if he'd at least like to watch the fire walk. That question got him in line, and he walked. Dave went on to lead fire walks for Tony Robbins around the world. Mike Forrester lives and teaches that a man can change on his own, but other men make the road shorter. Mike also shares that before he healed, his own anger had no control, and the people around him suffered. Dave's kids walked the fire at six and nine with him at their side. Maybe fear has been making your choices, and your kids are learning to do the same. Dave's story shows a dad how to take the first step where they can see it.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Ask "if I knew I couldn't fail, what would I try?" to see where fear is making your decisions.
• Learn to keep your eyes up and take the first step, so the next ones come easier.
• Stop negotiating with yourself, and see drinking, overeating, and other habits as patterns you can control.
• Spot the voice that calls you worthless before a big moment at work, and answer it with what you've already done.
• Use the board break exercise to name what you need to leave behind and who you need to forgive.
• Recognize how the way you face fear shows your kids how to face theirs.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:03:21 - why chasing more never makes you happy

00:11:02 - when fear controls your life and you say no to everything

00:16:53 - finding out at 11 that his parents weren't his parents

00:20:03 - how drinking started at 11 years old

00:23:14 - what led him to call Alcoholics Anonymous

00:33:48 - how one question from a stranger changed his life

00:36:38 - keeping your eyes up and taking the first step through fear

00:50:21 - how to go from forget everything and run to face everything and rise

00:53:20 - how to quiet the voice that says you're worthless

00:55:58 - what his kids learned from walking the fire

00:57:18 - the board break exercise for forgiveness and letting go

01:07:01 - how to stop negotiating with yourself and break your patterns

Connect with Dave Albin

Website

https://firewalkadventures.com/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/firewalkadventures/

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxcTJfSBSBy4OrkN5f0bfVQ

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

For some men, the gym becomes the one place where nothing else matters, and that place can keep a life on track. My guest David Messano is one of 18 kids. He grew up in a home torn by conflict over his parents' church. He watched his dad treat his mom with disrespect. Fighting was the daily norm. David picked up those same habits, lost friends, and felt invisible. At 14 he rode his bike to a bridge late one night, ready to end his life. Memories of his brothers and sisters flooded back, and he went home. Then he stopped speaking for three months, remembering his dad's warning that what you say becomes reality. His family was alarmed. David says he spent those months learning to love himself. He came out of the silence with better grades and new friends.

Fitness became David's replacement for the vices he picked up as a teen. At 17 he moved in with his sister in Las Vegas and left drinking and weed behind. An older brother told him a bad habit has to be replaced, so he replaced it with lifting. A talk from World's Strongest Man competitor Nick Best, once a skinny kid himself, lit the fire. David added 25 pounds of muscle by senior year, set a school deadlift record, and made the honor roll. Then the setbacks stacked up. After a stretch of college in Los Angeles, he joined the Marine Corps Reserve for discipline. His path to special forces stalled. On his way out, he spent about a week and a half in a psychiatric unit. His mentor dropped him, he lost his place to live, and his friends disappeared. A car rental business he built later crashed too.

What finally worked was asking for help. After following Wes Watson's videos for a year, David reached out. Watson told him he had too much potential to keep fitness to himself. David joined his mentorship and now coaches clients online in fitness, nutrition, and mindset. He lives by a line from that mentorship. Become the man you want to be inside and out, and give that man to the world. He pictures who he wants to become and acts like that man now. When negative thoughts creep in, he stops, breathes, and comes back to the present. Mike Forrester teaches that a man should quit trying to fix himself by himself. David says no one can make this journey alone. Dads, listen with your kids in mind. The arguing they hear at home shapes who they become, and David shows a kid can still find his way.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize how the conflict kids hear at home shapes how they treat others, and what you can model instead.
• Replace a bad habit with a healthy one, like training, so the old pattern has nowhere to land.
• Learn how to keep going when setbacks stack up, from a lost job to a lost place to live.
• See why a mentor who already has what you want can speed up your growth.
• Picture the man you want to become and start acting like him today.
• Use a pause and a few deep breaths to stop a negative thought before it takes over.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:01:16 - why CrossFit teaches lessons about life's setbacks

00:04:33 - how fitness gave a struggling teen a reason to keep going

00:10:53 - growing up in a home full of conflict

00:18:10 - how three months of silence helped him learn to love himself

00:21:20 - changing your perspective when your environment stays the same

00:22:40 - replacing bad habits with healthy ones

00:29:29 - feeling lost after high school graduation

00:31:17 - joining the Marines to build discipline

00:35:36 - when everything falls apart at once

00:38:49 - finding the right mentor

00:41:12 - the hero's journey and why you can't do it alone

00:44:40 - how to start becoming the man you want to be now

Connect with David Messano

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/david.messano.5/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/david_messano1of18/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Having the job, the house, and the car can still leave a man empty until he finds his why. My guest Constantin Morun grew up in communist Romania, where a mistake was something to hide and be ashamed of. He learned to beat himself up the same way his teachers did. Years later in Canada, he had what he calls the American dream. He had a role at Microsoft, a partner, two dogs, and a family he loves. Coming out of the pandemic, he was burned out and losing whole weekends to gaming or binge-watching. A mental health retreat in Ecuador opened his eyes, and he came home ready to change the world. Then reality set in. Nobody around him had changed, and he slid into a depression where, for the first time, he felt truly defeated. He pulled away from friends and family because he didn't want to look broken. Nothing he owned brought him joy, and he couldn't name his purpose.

Constantin's work started with noticing how he talked to himself. Once he caught thoughts like "I'm stupid" or "I'm such a procrastinator," he looked for proof they were wrong. He found plenty. For any change, he follows three steps of awareness, a real desire to change, and a written plan to act on. To find his why, he wrote down what brought him joy as a boy, a teenager, and in his twenties and thirties. The common thread was serving others by sharing what he learned. He also reversed his withdrawal and reached back out to family and friends. When someone met his struggle by one-upping or downplaying it, he set a boundary and moved on. Today he keeps his vision in a document he reviews every week or two. He celebrates how far he's come and practices gratitude every day.

The deepest shift was letting go of the need to be liked by everyone. Constantin stopped hiding his real self at work and started showing up with more compassion and empathy. His relationships improved at work and at home. He also stopped trying to fix the people around him and focused on changing himself. He doesn't blame his parents, who taught what they knew. Mike shares that he was once a chameleon, chasing the approval of the most powerful person in the room. He also passed his belief that failing makes you a failure down to his kids. Mike Forrester teaches that what a man inherited isn't his fault, but breaking it is his responsibility. That's what kept him doing the work when it was hard. Fathers who've handed their kids the same fear of failure they grew up with will find a way to stop it here.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Catch the harsh things you say to yourself and look for proof they aren't true.
• Use three steps, awareness, desire, and a written plan, to turn what you learn into action.
• Map what brought you joy at each stage of life to find your why.
• Reach back out to friends and family when you want to withdraw, and set boundaries with people who make it worse.
• Show up as your real self at work and at home to build stronger relationships.
• See how working on yourself changes what your kids learn about risk and failure.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:06:57 - when the American dream still leaves you empty

00:11:09 - the difference between a fixed and a growth mindset

00:15:06 - how to stop beating yourself up after a mistake

00:19:30 - why men withdraw when they're struggling and how to reach back out

00:22:17 - setting boundaries with people who downplay your struggles

00:28:01 - how to turn what you learn into action

00:33:43 - finding meaning and purpose in a job that doesn't fulfill you

00:37:33 - how to find your why when you've never known it

00:40:29 - why changing yourself changes everyone around you

00:42:54 - how your growth changes your kids and future generations

00:51:45 - stretching past the limits you set for yourself

00:55:45 - keeping your vision alive with celebration and gratitude

Connect with Constantin Morun

Website

https://unleashthyself.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/constantin-bo-morun/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/unleashthyselftoday/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

If you're feeling trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and uncertainty, constantly second-guessing your decisions and unable to move forward, then you are not alone! Despite your best efforts to break free, your actions may be driven by fear of failure, leading to a lack of progress and missed opportunities for growth. It's time to confront this pain head-on and seek the self-awareness and motivation needed to make positive changes in your life.

In this episode of the Living Fearless Today podcast, you'll hear an inspiring conversation with guest Dai Manuel. Dai shares his personal journey of transformation and growth, highlighting the importance of celebrating milestones and releasing both physical and emotional weight. He discusses the power of intentional change, documenting progress, and the role of mindset in personal transformation.

Dai's insights and empathetic approach will motivate you to take action and make positive changes in your own life. Whether you're looking to improve your health, relationships, or overall well-being, this episode offers insights and practical tips you can apply to elevate your personal growth.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Discover the secrets to personal transformation and growth, unlocking your full potential and achieving your dreams.
• Overcome the challenges of obesity and mental hurdles, finding the motivation and inner strength to create a healthier, happier life.
• Learn how to seamlessly blend your personal and professional life, finding balance and fulfillment in both areas.
• Develop a positive mindset and embrace positive change, empowering yourself to overcome obstacles and create a life filled with joy and success.
• Improve your self-perception and celebrate your milestones, learning to love and appreciate yourself as you reach new heights of personal achievement.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:09:08 - Blending Family and Professional Life

00:18:26 - A Turning Point and Desire for Change

00:23:20 - Overcoming Challenges and Celebrating Small Victories

00:34:18 - The Challenge of Changing Self-Perception

00:42:51 - The Wake-Up Call

00:46:42 - Going All In

Connect with Dai Manuel

Instagram

http://www.instagram.com/daimanuel

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/daimanuel/

Website

http://www.daimanuel.com/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

A man can travel the whole world and still never get away from himself, because the chaos he's running from is the chaos he carries with him, and Jon Katz learned that the hard way. For years he worked farms in New Zealand, Spain, and France, trading his labor for room and board, went to Burning Man twice, and stacked up the kind of experiences most men think would set them free. Underneath it all was a chaotic childhood home he'd absorbed and never dealt with, and a pattern of showing up absent in every relationship he was in. A friend in AA later gave him the name for what he'd been doing all those years, a geographic. Then he came back to New York City, took the lowest rung job in local food in a windowless warehouse, and settled into a 350 square foot fifth floor walkup on the Lower East Side, where he woke up every morning, looked in the mirror, and said "I hate you." He was seriously thinking about ending his life. What pulled him back was picturing the people who'd be harmed if he did, and realizing that living only for himself was exactly what had driven him to the edge.

Jon tells Mike Forrester the first step wasn't a program or a workout, it was honesty. He had to accept that he was the cause of every one of his problems, that nobody was coming to save him, and that as long as he could blame someone else, healing was impossible. From there he found a coach who'd been through his own darkness and followed the blueprint. He explains why he was a negativity addict, so attached to the persona of the broken, angry, resentful man that stripping it away left a void he had to fill on purpose. He calls the fix habitual construction. Your new life is going to cost you your old life, so sleeping in became a 4 AM wake up, drugs and alcohol became daily training, and a man who couldn't do a single pull-up at nearly 200 pounds built a body he could respect. On setbacks, he's blunt. Progress is never linear, failure is the down payment on success, and perfectionism is just a way of quitting with a good excuse. When anything goes sideways, he laughs at it with the mantra "well, I guess I'm obese now" and keeps going.

The real test came when he left incense burning and lost everything he owned in an apartment fire, the same apartment where he'd gotten healthy. He woke up at 2:45 the next morning in a Brooklyn hotel, did burpees, and hauled his soaked belongings out of a taped up fifth floor in the summer heat, because his mind had been trained to meet every situation with the same steadiness. He moved in with his parents, coached them through pain they'd carried for sixty years, and was there to take care of both of them when they got sick. When a promotion made his life more comfortable, he signed up for Muay Thai and got his butt kicked daily, because you only lose in your winning season. If you've kept yourself busy, moving, and distracted so you never have to sit still with what's underneath, and you've started to suspect that the common denominator in every mess is you, Jon's story is where that suspicion turns into something you can build on. You can find him on Instagram at nycfoodways, where he posts daily on fitness, mindset, and food.

"The man who was present, physically present, not moving, will be able to come to terms with himself and his past. It was only when I stopped fleeing, physically fleeing, that I was able to heal and transform my life." - Jon Katz

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize why constant travel, new experiences, and staying busy can be the same thing as running from yourself, and why the pain rides along wherever you go
• Understand how a chaotic childhood home and the first relationship you ever watched can quietly shape you into an absent, validation-seeking partner
• See why healing can't start until you stop blaming anyone else, and what changed for Jon the day he accepted that nobody was coming to save him
• Learn how habitual construction works, and why stripping out the drinking, drugs, and sleeping in leaves a void you have to fill on purpose
• Walk through Jon's way of handling setbacks, from "failure is the down payment on success" to the mantra he uses to laugh at perfectionism
• See how an apartment fire that took everything became the proof that a trained mind can hold up under any pressure

The Key Moments In This Episode Are:

00:01:14 - From a windowless warehouse job to three income streams in three years

00:07:52 - How a man's worth gets externally defined, and why that makes him a servant to it

00:10:32 - How a chaotic childhood home turns into internal chaos and absent relationships

00:12:46 - Doing a geographic, and why wherever you go, there you are

00:15:17 - Contemplating suicide and waking up hating the man in the mirror

00:16:50 - The moment he decided to live for others, and the coach who gave him a blueprint

00:18:46 - Nobody is coming to save you, and why blame makes healing impossible

00:22:18 - Habitual construction, and why your new life will cost you your old life

00:25:45 - Progress is never linear, and failure is the down payment on success

00:29:13 - Why every loss is a bonus to a strong mind, and the Muay Thai test he set himself

00:32:11 - Losing everything in an apartment fire and getting up at 2:45 AM anyway

Connect with Jon Katz

Instagram

http://instagram.com/nycfoodways

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

For a lot of men, drinking was never really the problem. It was the way they numbed a wound they were handed as a boy. Doug Sweeney learned that the hard way. He grew up under a father who was never calm and never happy, a man who demeaned and ridiculed him until Doug believed, before he'd even reached junior high, that something was just wrong with him. He took his first drink alone at twelve or thirteen, and for the first time the worthlessness went quiet. He swore he'd never be mean and angry like his dad, and he wasn't, but the drinking took over anyway. Years of DUIs, jail, and serious wrecks followed, until one crash took the life of the man riding in his car, a father with a nine-year-old son, and it sent Doug to prison for something he still has no memory of doing.

What finally broke the addiction wasn't willpower, and Doug's candid about that. He walks host Mike Forrester through the bottom he hit and the letter that reached him in a county jail cell, written by the mother of the man who died, telling him she'd stood at his hospital bedside praying for his survival. That was the moment he believed he could be forgiven. Everything he teaches now grows out of it, and it comes down to two things he says every man in this fight has to face. First, naming the bondage underneath the substance, the worthlessness or fear the drinking was only ever medicating. Second, forgiveness, both receiving it and extending it, even to a father who met his with "forgive me for what." It's the same ground he now walks other men through in the ministry he built, Breaking Bondage from Addiction, out of the faith that finally worked for him after every other attempt had failed.

Forgiveness is where the whole thing turned, and Doug is clear it was for him, not for his father. He calls unforgiveness pure captivity, and setting it down is what freed him, whether or not his dad ever understood. He still catches himself sliding back into the old self-condemnation, but he refuses to camp there. He jumps out of it, he says, like quicksand. Maybe you've been medicating a pain you've never put a name to. Maybe you've written yourself off as the one man too far gone to forgive. Maybe you're still carrying years of anger at a father who will never say he's sorry. Doug's been all three, and he made it out.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Recognize addiction for what it often is, not the real problem but the way a man numbs a wound he's carried since boyhood
• See how a father's constant criticism can convince a boy he's worthless long before he ever picks up a drink
• Understand why getting free starts with naming the bondage underneath the substance, not just quitting the substance
• Walk through the two things Doug says every man in this fight has to face, naming the wound and choosing forgiveness
• Learn why forgiving a father who never says sorry is something you do for your own freedom, not his
• See how a man keeps the old self-condemnation from taking root, catching it and letting it go instead of staying down

The key moments in this episode are:

00:01:13 - Building a faith-based recovery ministry for men after addiction

00:02:34 - Late forties, never married, and determined to do it right this time

00:04:45 - From an abusive childhood and a first drink to a fatal crash and prison

00:27:52 - Forgiving a father whose only reply was "forgive me for what"

00:30:00 - Why the person who hurt you is often medicating their own pain

00:32:00 - Living in self-destruction when you don't believe you have any worth

00:35:03 - What changes when a man finally believes he's valuable and forgivable

00:36:11 - Why he still fights self-condemnation, and how he refuses to stay down

00:39:33 - Catching the old patterns and choosing the new man instead

00:41:31 - Getting out of the low fast, like jumping out of quicksand

00:49:08 - The two principles behind breaking bondage from addiction

Whether your anger blows up in the kitchen or burns quietly on the drive home, it's running a pattern you inherited. Take the free quiz at whatsbehindyouranger.com and see which one you're carrying.

Your kids are inheriting more than your money, right now they're inheriting your patterns. Grab the free audit at yourlegacyaudit.com to see what you're passing down to them.

Connect with Doug Sweeney

Website

https://www.breakingbondagefromaddiction.com/

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Small daily wins can help a man climb out of depression, even when the first win is just a shower. My guest John Katsavos started karate at eight and earned a second-degree brown belt by 12. Heading into junior high, his dad told him to keep his skills quiet or he'd be fighting the whole school. A classmate bullied him for months while his grandmother, who was like a second mother, was dying of lung cancer. When John finally broke down in tears, he decided he was weak. He built a hard shell and let only his mom, dad, and sister inside. In his twenties, he was a security shift supervisor making good money and driving a $40,000 car. Then two guards he supervised walked into a tenant's suite on Christmas Eve, and the company made an example of him. He lost the job, his credit, and his schooling and moved back to his parents' basement. For months he barely left his room and told himself he was useless. He walked to a bridge ready to end his life. He turned back when he pictured what his death would do to his family.

His way back started almost too small to notice. When everyone left the house, he covered the bathroom mirror with a towel so he could wash his face without facing himself. Every other day he walked around the block for fresh air. Months passed before he started applying for jobs, and about a year before he landed one. He got back in the gym. When a dark thought returned one night at work, he went back to martial arts the very next day. John says the seeds can stay even after you feel better, so he stays mindful. Today his morning routine takes about an hour before he turns on his phone. It includes self-care, meditation, reading, morning pages, burpees, pushups, and squats. His advice for a struggling man is simpler. Pick one thing, even washing your face with cold water, and do it every day for three months.

John is honest that hard days still come. Going into this conversation, money was tight and bills were piling up. He knows how to ride those waves because he's done it before. Long before his lowest point, he found his love for the gym. In 10th grade, he was a 100-pound kid riding the bench on the junior football team. He trained every day that summer, came back stronger and faster, and found a confidence he'd never had. That passion later became a career in personal training and his podcast, The Fitness Oracle. Mike Forrester shares that his own morning routine builds trust in himself, proof that he'll get up and do what he said. John's rule is to get the wins early so you can win the rest of the day. If you're a dad who lost the job and can't find your footing, start with one small win tomorrow morning.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Start with one small daily win, like a shower or a walk around the block, to start climbing out of depression.
• Pick one habit and do it every day for three months until it becomes part of you.
• Build a morning routine that gets your wins in before your phone, your job, and your kids need you.
• Recognize that breaking down before a hard moment is a normal human response.
• Stay mindful after a hard season, since old patterns can return even when life looks good.
• See how losing a job can shake your identity and how small steps help you show up again for your wife and kids.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:50 - what a man's "nothing box" is and how it brings clarity

00:04:33 - getting through financial stress when the bills pile up

00:06:40 - hiding your strength to avoid a fight

00:14:40 - grieving a grandmother who was like a second mother

00:16:30 - how a summer in the gym built a teenager's confidence

00:21:41 - why trust is hard after you've been hurt

00:23:29 - losing a good job and sliding into depression

00:30:53 - small steps that help you climb out of a dark place

00:34:06 - why old patterns can return after you start to heal

00:36:30 - turning what you love into a career

00:40:32 - how a simple morning routine builds momentum

00:44:43 - why you should stick with one habit for three months

.

Connect with John Katsavos

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/john.katsavos.39

.

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-katsavos/

.

Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

Financial setbacks hit a man hardest when he carries them alone, and the way through often starts with other men in his corner. My guest Aaron Shelley finished his MBA with a path to Intel open to him. Instead, he and his wife bought a house with a studio out back to grow the dance school they ran. The city said he couldn't run a business behind his house, so he paid to get an ordinance passed. Then he spent 18 of the next 36 months unemployed, with two kids and a pregnant wife. He kept a spreadsheet called How to Die Financially that tracked when the money would run out. Some relatives told his wife she should leave him. Years later, a spec home deal collapsed in the 2008 crash and cost him about a quarter million dollars, plus lawyers. Then came an IRS audit, and his mind ran straight to prison and losing the house. Each time, he felt he was the problem and that his wife deserved better.

Aaron came out of those years with a different way to measure a return. He and his wife paid off about $350,000 in debt over six or seven years. A financial planner might have kept the low-interest loans. Aaron chose peace of mind, and it brought him and his wife closer. After the audit, he handed his taxes to an accountant friend. Doing them himself wasn't worth the stress on his family. His top priority is being a good father, and he's seen how his own stress spills onto his kids. He also never makes a big decision without his wife, even when she offered to let him handle all the money. He calls it super investing when one activity pays off in more than one area. Skiing became a family sport, so his own downtime built relationships too.

The biggest shift was social. Aaron says he hid during his unemployment because he felt ashamed and worthless. Looking back, he wishes he had reached out, served others, and built friendships with other men. When the trees in his yard needed to come down, he passed on a $4,000 arborist bid. He started the job with his kids and his brother. Soon 11 or 12 men showed up with their sons and chainsaws. One of those men later recruited him to the job that changed his finances. His dad also helped through every crisis by sharing mistakes of his own. Mike Forrester teaches that a man should quit trying to fix himself by himself, and Aaron learned it the expensive way. Any dad who has run the numbers on his own failure, alone at night, needs to hear how Aaron got through.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Recognize how isolation makes money stress feel bigger and why reaching out to other men can shorten the hard season.
• Learn why paying off debt for peace of mind can be worth more to your family than the math says.
• Make big financial decisions together with your wife so you face setbacks as a team.
• Spot how stress about work and money spills onto your kids, even when they don't know why.
• Use super investing, bringing your kids into the things you love, to build relationships and recharge at the same time.
• See how inviting friends into a big project can save money and build lasting community.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:30 - choosing to build a business over a corporate job

00:06:34 - getting through unemployment when you feel like you've failed your family

00:09:11 - why isolation makes hard times worse for men

00:11:11 - losing a quarter million dollars in the 2008 crash

00:15:33 - why being a good dad comes before chasing money

00:18:17 - making big money decisions together with your wife

00:20:29 - why dads need to stay involved in their kids' lives

00:23:39 - getting through an IRS audit without spiraling

00:25:33 - why every man needs a circle of guy friends

00:31:44 - investing in your social connections like a business

00:35:39 - how moving and busy careers can leave a family isolated

00:37:50 - super investing by sharing what you love with your kids

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Connect with Aaron Shelley

Website:

https://thefamilyflywheel.com/

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Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/aaron.k.shelley

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LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/aaronshelley/

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Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

As men, we've been told that asking for help is a sign of weakness, so we then find ourselves walking a silent and lonely path through life. But what if reaching out to others could be the key to unlocking our true potential? Mike Van Pelt shares his insights on the importance of men supporting each other and the transformative power of asking for help. He discusses how faith shaped his journey, how he overcame the fear of asking for help and the impact it's had on his life both personally and professionally. Mike also shared about learning to let go, slow down, and truly connect with the people and events around him. We explored the risks and rewards of reaching out for help and how to embrace unexpected changes that life throws our way. Join us and learn from Mike Van Pelt's story as we uncover how to grow into better men, fathers, and husbands by simply being authentic and unafraid to ask for help.

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Chapters:

(0:13:51) - Navigating Life Transitions and Changes

(0:19:02) - The Power of Asking for Help

(0:24:25) - Self-Care and Seeking Assistance

(0:30:23) - Letting Go and Slowing Down

(0:40:00) - Being Authentic

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Connect with Mike Van Pelt

Website:

https://truemanlifecoaching.com/

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Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/CoachMikeVanPelt/

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Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/truemancoaching/

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LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikevanpelt/

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Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike

One keystone habit, like a hard daily workout, can set the direction of a man's whole day. My guest Ryan Fahey learned that at 12, when chronic migraines kept hitting wave after wave. He was heavier and inactive then, spending a lot of time on video games in a small Nova Scotia town. Through a local university study, he journaled what he ate, what he did, and how he slept for two months. The pattern was clear. On the days he was physically active, the migraines rarely came. Ryan decided he wouldn't live as a victim of those headaches and chose to move every day. That choice became part of his identity. He still journals and calls it a kind of therapy for whatever he's working through. In his twenties, he ran a fitness business out of a silver Hyundai hatchback. He packed a sledgehammer, bands, and a subwoofer. Every Wednesday he drove to a field in his hometown and trained whoever showed up.

Ryan's first term of university tested him hard. He was failing most of his courses, and he failed his first paper. He had already sold his Xbox to pay for an extra course. After a run on the track one fall night, he refused to accept the story that he wasn't good enough. He calls it burning the boats, with no retreat. He was up at 5 a.m. to work out. Then came the library, a tutor, extra help sessions, and the writing center. Whenever motivation dipped, he got a workout in first. He later learned from James Clear's Atomic Habits that this was his keystone habit. He also battled exam anxiety, sometimes doing pushups outside the exam room. He walked in believing no one would outwork him. By his third year he was on the Dean's list.

That failed paper didn't end his love of writing. Ryan started a blog with almost no readers and kept writing two or three posts a month for about three years. That led to magazine features, freelance work, and three published books, including Your Best Decade. Imposter syndrome showed up each time, and he published anyway. He also learned to be careful about who has his ear, because too many outside opinions pulled one book off course. In his coaching, he meets people at the edge of their comfort zone and builds from there. Sometimes the first goal is simply walking into the gym and walking back out. He helps people name their top three to five values and live by them each day. Mike Forrester shares that he grew up believing a failure would make him a failure. He wanted every step mapped out before trying anything. Ryan shows another way. Dads who've let one failure tell them who they are will find a different story here, built one step at a time.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Track what you eat, how you sleep, and how you move to find the habits that help you feel your best.
• Build one keystone habit, like a daily workout, that sets up the rest of your day.
• Learn how to recover from a failure that seems to define you and turn it into a strength.
• Stretch your comfort zone with one small, doable step at a time.
• Name your top three to five values so decisions about family, health, and money get clearer.
• Choose carefully whose advice you let shape your work, your marriage, and your life as a dad.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:05:00 - how journaling helped him find what triggered his migraines

00:07:00 - deciding not to live as a victim of your circumstances

00:11:00 - starting a business out of the back of his car

00:16:00 - failing his first term and his first university paper

00:17:00 - the night he decided he was good enough to succeed

00:20:00 - burning the boats and building keystone habits

00:22:00 - how exercise helps your focus, energy, and sleep

00:24:00 - how he handled exam anxiety

00:28:00 - turning a weakness into a strength as a writer

00:35:00 - why you need to be careful whose advice you take

00:38:00 - how to stretch your comfort zone one step at a time

00:40:00 - why knowing your values gives your life direction

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Connect with Ryan Fahey

Website:

https://www.faheyconsulting.org/

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Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/wellnessrf

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Instagram

http://www.instagram.com/Wellnessrf88

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Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike