The Davenport

On this week’s episode Jamie and Guy welcome Jamie’s longtime friend and former college classmate, Jim R. Jacobs, LCSW, CDWF, author, father and avid fencer.  They discuss shame - and in particular - the shame that is triggered by the unobtainable quest of trying "to do our best”. Jim explains that we live in a world that tells us to do our best but then tells us our best is never good enough - and how this inevitably leads to shame.  He suggests that instead of trying to do our best , we should strive to achieve something that is measurable - connecting with others, having more patience, being brave, etc.  By correlating measurable goals with our values, we will find more fulfillment in life, experience more success and be able to measure our progress in a meaningful way 💛

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

To learn more about Jim and his books, Driving Lessons for Life and Driving Lessons for Life 2,  go to his website:
https://jimrjacobs.com/

Jim's Virtual Book Release for his second book, Driving Lessons for Life 2,  is happening today! Find out more at:
https://www.facebook.com/JimRJacobs

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 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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In today’s episode Jamie and Guy discuss how life isn’t always fair.  We learn this principle when we are young so why does it keep tripping us up as we get older? Even when we try our best and do everything right, life isn't always fair because we can’t always control everything.  From portioning out the “treat” cereal with siblings, to not being able to take a trip to somewhere fun like a friend did, to coming to terms with infertility and accepting that your family may look different than what you always dreamed it might - unfairness is a part of life.

Jamie explains that it’s important to remember life isn’t a race or competition against others. We are each in our own lane trying to reach our own personal goals. Yet,  sometimes we can look over into other people’s lanes and see what they have - and maybe we don’t - and it feels unfair.  Those feelings are normal but Jamie and Guy encourage the listeners to not sit in that space too long.  Lean on gratitude and generosity, and do the best you can in the lane you are given 💛

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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On today's episode Jamie and Guy welcome back another one of their favorite guests, Dr. Katie Erreca, Psy.D. to discuss Attachment Theory and its importance in all of our relationships.  They discuss the four different categories of Attachment Theory and explain that we should always be working toward one in particular - secure attachment.  From Jerry McQuire, to Star Trek, to discussing the bathroom habits of roommates - you'll coming away from listening to this episode having a much better understanding and appreciation of the importance of healthy attachments in your life .

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

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@thedavenportpodcast

About Dr. Katie Erreca:

Dr. Katie Erreca earned a doctoral degree in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology (CSPP) at Alliant International University. Dr. Erreca (PSY 25101) currently works in private practice in La Jolla, California. She works with teens, adults, and families to overcome challenges and assist with major life transitions. 

For more information about Dr. Katie Erreca visit her website:
https://drkatieerreca.com/

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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On this week's episode Jamie and Guy respond to a question from a teen podcast listener.  This listener asked, "How do I start to like myself?" This led to a discussion about self-worth, knowing who you are and developing confidence.  Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of having self-worth, and knowing, no matter what you do , no matter what choices you make - your worth stays the same.  No one is perfect, being flawed is part of being human. In fact, Jamie explains that part of confidence is  knowing,  "I'm flawed and I'm ok with it."  We are all a work in progress - don't forget to be kind and show generosity to yourself along the way  💛

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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On this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy welcome special guests, Keane Webre-Hayes and his mom, Ellie Hayes, to share their remarkable story of courage, acceptance, and recovery.  When Keane was 13 years old he was bit by a great white shark while lobster diving off the coast of Encinitas, CA. That day would change both of their lives forever. Please join Keane and Ellie on The Davenport where they share how the events of that day and the connections made through that extremely challenging experience have resulted in so many great life lessons for all of us to hear. Trust the process, adapt to new circumstances, and most surprising of all, get back in the water as soon as possible. We loved hearing their inspiring story and hope you will enjoy this very special episode with two amazing individuals!

To learn more about Keane and follow his story, go to:

https://www.instagram.com/keane_obean/

https://www.gofundme.com/f/keane-hayes-shark-attack-victim

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

In this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss managing expectations when life isn't going our way.  Keeping perspective on what's really important helps us keep realistic expectations and avoid disappointment when things turn out different than what we expected or hoped.  From work, to parenting, to our managing our relationship with our partner - setting realistic expectations can make all the difference.

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

This week's episode continues last week's topic of dating and expands it into dating in marriage or long-term relationships.  Jamie also introduces the concept of "Love Maps" as taught by Dr. John Gottman. A "Love Map"  is the part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life - their goals in life, worries, dreams, etc.  Jamie explains that when we are dating we spend hours and hours getting to know everything about each other.  That intensity cannot be maintained over the years in marriage because we often get caught up in the day to day tasks of life - paying bills, raising children, working on the house. If we are not careful though, our love maps can become out of date and we can become less connected as a couple.
Dr. Gottman explains:
               "Couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s worlds are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and conflict. Partners who are already intently aware of what each other are feeling and thinking aren’t as thrown off course by changes and stress in each other’s lives. But if you don’t start off with a deep knowledge of each other, it’s easy for your relationship to lose its way when your lives shift with the challenges and stressors that come to you over time.
Dating in marriage is an important part of updating Love Maps and strengthening marriages. Getting to know your partner better is an ongoing process.  For more information on Love Maps, check out this app Jamie discusses in this episode: https://www.gottman.com/couples/apps/

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

For their 50th episode Jamie and Guy welcome guest Andrea Dunlap to discuss dating during the different seasons of life. In this fun conversation, they discuss dating in your teens compared to dating in midlife and how priorities and perspectives change.  Hold onto your benchseat, and grab your Binaca  as Jamie, Guy and Andrea drive down memory lane sharing what they have learned about themselves and others through their dating experiences.

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss the 4 types of people we need in our inner circle.  This discussion was inspired by an article by Suneel Guptay titled  The 4 Types of Personalities Leaders Need In Their Inner Circle. A link to the article can be found here:

https://www.fastcompany.com/90607514/the-4-types-of-personalities-leaders-need-in-their-inner-circle

The 4 types of personalities the author recommends are: a Collaborator,  a Cheerleader, a Coach and a Critic.  Jamie and Guy discuss each of these types of people and how they add value to our lives.  The collaborator is someone who’s going to help you expand your ideas. They’re not going to agree with everything you say, but all feedback is going to feel productive. The cheerleader is the person who’s going to make you feel confident before you get in the room.  They give you the encouragement you need when you're feeling uncertain and unsure.  The coach will help you understand if an idea is right for you. They are a sounding board or safe space to say whatever you want.  The critic is the person who will deliberately poke holes in your ideas.  Their role is not to criticize but to help you critically think ideas though.  Each of these 4 types of people bring value in different ways and complete the circle of support we need as we navigate life's challenges and work toward our goals. 

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of taking time-outs when emotions are escalating and arguments are getting out of hand.  The purpose of a time-out is to abruptly stop unconstructive interaction between you and your partner.  They are a way to stay in control, to de-escalate and to avoid arguments. Jamie refers to Terry Real's book The New Rules of Marriage to explain the rules, or guidelines, for taking time-outs.  When done properly time-outs can help us to gain perspective and prevent us from hurting our partner or saying something we are going to regret. 

We hope you enjoyed today's episode - if you did please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show