The Davenport

On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the hyperachiever saboteur.  The 'hyperachiever' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence.  He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". He defines the hyperachiever saboteur as:   "Dependent on constant performance and achievement for self-respect and self-validation. Highly focused on external success, leading to unsustainable workaholic tendencies and loss of touch with deeper emotional and relationship needs." Hyperachievers are "competitive, image and status-conscious. Good at covering up insecurities and showing positive image. Adapt personality to fit what would be most impressive to the other. Goal-oriented and workaholic streak. More into perfecting public image than introspection. Can be self-promoting. Can keep people at safe distance."

Listen to learn how to manage this for yourself or how to support the ones you love when they are feeling sabotaged by this way of negative thinking.

Have you taken the Saboteur Assessment yet? To learn more about Positive Intelligence and to discover what your saboteurs are, click this link to take your free Saboteur Assessment: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/

We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

In this week's episode, Jamie and Guy welcome another special guest, Jamie's dad, Jim Stubblefield.  Jamie has shared bits and pieces of his story in previous episodes but in today's episode, we learn all the details of the path his life has taken - from getting a bachelor's degree in Spanish, to spontaneously joining the Marines (without first consulting his wife), to going back to school for his Masters, to becoming a Navy Chaplain and then pivoting and going back to Law School.  His love of learning, adventure, and gaining meaningful life experiences is evident throughout every step of his life journey 💛

We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the restless saboteur.  The 'restless' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence.  He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". He defines the restless saboteur as:   The need to look for excitement from many activities. It is easily distracted and bounces back from unpleasant feelings and seeks new stimulation. Attention is constantly shifted and impatience is constant. It avoids a real and lasting focus on any issues or relationships. Restless saboteurs provide a substitute for self-nurture and an escape from anxiety and pain.

Restless is a more dominant saboteur for Jamie but not her strongest and it sits more in the middle for Guy. Jamie explains that her restlessness is driven by a desire to have fun and try new things.  She became more aware of it when she married and has learned to balance it out when it tends to get a little too loud.  Guy explains that his "controller saboteur" keeps this one in check for him 😂. Listen to learn how to manage this for yourself or how to support the ones you love when they are feeling sabotaged by this way of negative thinking.

Have you taken the Saboteur Assessment yet? To learn more about Positive Intelligence and to discover what your saboteurs are, click this link to take your free Saboteur Assessment: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/

We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

This week's episode was recorded right before school let out for the summer and right after the tragic events of the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. Our team was discussing how to talk to our kids about events like this, the war in Ukraine, and other bad news or tragic events that can occur.  Listen as Jamie and Guy discuss how to talk about these with kids of different ages to help lessen their anxieties and fears.

We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the decline of Emotional Intelligence (EI) and how to get it back.  Emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you.  Jamie references an article in Psychology Today about this topic and they discuss how the last couple of years has impacted themselves individually as well as their clients.  To learn more about this topic, here is a link to the article as well as books on Emotional Intelligence:

Why Emotional Intelligence is on the Decline by Madeleine A. Fugère Ph.D.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/202111/why-emotional-intelligence-is-in-decline

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-10th-Anniversary-Matter/dp/055380491X/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1660625658&sr=8-5

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, PhD
https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Emotionally-Intelligent-Child-Parenting/dp/B07HP8NTPK/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1HO57WCXOLXMU&keywords=raising+an+emotionally+intelligent+child&qid=1660630558&s=audible&sprefix=raising+an+emotionally+intelligent+child%2Caudible%2C127&sr=1-1

We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

Heys guys, we're taking a little break to enjoy the rest of the summer and will be back August 16th with more great episodes and amazing guests. See you then!

Support the show

Recently Jamie attended a funeral for a dear friend who had a powerful influence for good in her life - and it made her think about the difference between being a positive influence versus being an "Influencer".  In this episode, Jamie and Guy compare the two and how they differ. Being an "Influencer" is more of a modern phenomenon in today's society of social media and can lean a little more toward a "promoter" of themselves, products, etc.  Take a listen and consider those people in your life who are a positive influence and how you can be the same 💛
We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this week's episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the Hypervigilant saboteur.  The 'Hypervigilant' saboteur is one of the ten types of saboteurs identified by Shirzad Chamine in his work on Positive Intelligence.  He teaches that the saboteurs are the negative voices in our heads that "generate negative emotions" (stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, restlessness, and unhappiness) and "sabotage our performance, wellbeing and relationships". He defines the Hypervigilant saboteur as:  "Continuous intense anxiety about all the dangers and what could go wrong. Vigilance that can never rest. This mode puts you in a constant state of high stress, thinking that that’s the best way you protect yourself and your loved ones. But it leads to tunnel-vision and wastes a lot of mental and emotional energy."

Even though this isn't Jamie or Guy's strongest saboteur - they both agree it became more intense when they became parents. It may or may not be your strongest saboteur, but chances are you have someone in your life who struggles more with it. Listen to learn how to manage this for yourself or how to support the ones you love when they are feeling sabotaged by this way of negative thinking.

Have you taken the Saboteur Assessment yet? To learn more about Positive Intelligence and to discover what your saboteurs are, click this link to take your free Saboteur Assessment: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/

We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss how to give 'Pep Talks' to our kids.  Often times our kids come to us with challenges or insecurities - from taking tests, to trying out for a sport, to navigating friendships and relationships. As parents, we often want to jump in, offer our opinions or intervene - but this isn't what they always need.  Jamie and Guy discuss the components of an effective pep talk versus a lecture.  They explain that our role should be that of a cheerleader, coach, and supporter that helps them maintain a healthy perspective on things.  Our goal is to help them develop confidence in making their own decisions - and to teach them that whatever the outcome - if they fail the test, don't make the team, or break up with their boyfriend - they will be ok.  We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show

On this week's episode Jamie and Guy discuss the importance of self-compassion and forgiving ourselves.  They compare forgiving others versus forgiving ourselves and why the latter can be so difficult. We are often quick to forgive others but when it comes to ourselves we can have a hard time letting go. Jamie explains that when we replay our mistakes over and over in our head it leads to shame and guilt.  Lastly, Guy learns about "rumination disorder" and will never look at Jell-o the same 😳
 
We hope you enjoyed this episode - if you do, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts:) Thanks so much!

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thedavenport)

Join us on  Facebook :

https://www.facebook.com/thedavenportpodcast/

 Follow  us on Instagram:

@thedavenportpodcast

 About  Jamie and Guy:

Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

 Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

Support the show