The Dorota Diaries: A Gossip Girl Podcast

Don't mind us, Upper East Siders. We're just sitting here hitting "refresh" for Blair on the Yale portal. It's Yale Day, y'all! Join our friends as they anxiously await to hear who is in and who is out. Eh, who are we kidding? Only Dan and Blair are anxious about getting in. Serena is anxious about making a decision about anything at every turn of her life. Unfortunately, she has a new favorite teacher who, for some reason, started at Constance halfway through the school year? Spoiler alert: We (Talea and Maria) hate this lady. In other news, Chuck and Lily finally team up to defeat that pest from Australia, Uncle Jack.

And, finally, we present to you a word without context: LUFUS. Now, if you'll excuse us, we would like to get back to reading our favorite book, Opera for Dummies. 

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Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

It's time for the reading of Bart's will, Upper East Siders! Are you in, or are you sending your legal representation in your place? Chuck's a little more himself in this episode, but the bar is in hell on this, so take that with a grain of salt. Uncle Jack is ELATED that his brother is dead so he can move away from Down Under and make Manhattan his new home. Jack is so devious that he will even use Blair's love for Chuck against her and make her a pawn in his sick game!

Dan continues to avoid Serena so he doesn't end up telling her that they share a sibling, which is proving to be tough on their new relationship. Meanwhile, Eric has a boyfriend and Jenny third wheels constantly, much to Eric's chagrin. In Boston, Rufus continues to beat down the door of every adoption agency to find his 19-year-old son, whose adoption was closed. And at brunch, we ask the age-old question: Can you reserve eclairs??

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

["Amazing Grace" tune] "Chuck once was lost, but now he's found". Chuck may be found, but he's as lost as ever. He's unable to walk 95% of the time, he's doing drugs on school property, his Uncle Jack is here, AND when he can walk, it's happening on the side of a rooftop. It's bad news bears for our grieving boy billionaire, Upper East Siders.

Meanwhile, Dan & Serena are back together... again, while Aaron is crying on a beach somewhere in Buenos Aires with a cease and desist from Ikea in hand and no high school girlfriend. Blair is trying to replace her out-of-control minions with the Colonizer Club, while Jenny is trying to save Nelly Yuki from death by minions. And now a word from our "sponsor", Pinkberry! 

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

Bart has died. *starts playing "Taps"* 

However, those billions o' bucks are still alive and they're paying for Andrew Tyler's retainer and comfort food (NOT tuna towers) for hundreds of his closest friends. Lily really should send a thank-you letter to the editor, but she won't. She's too busy slapping her dead husband's son as he struggles with the loss of a parent again.

Please join us as we try to understand why Serena is the A-story in an episode about Chuck and his grief. Thank god for Blair and Nate. 

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

If you're in line, STAY IN LINE for this episode, Upper East Siders! It's the annual Snowflake Ball, and the drama is so hot that we're certain this ice is going to melt at any minute. Blair and Chuck are still at their little games while Vanessa and Jenny are playing The Petty Games™. Dan and Serena are moving towards an amicable friend zone, but that doesn't stop them from staring at each other while in the arms of another on the dance floor. In other dance floor news: Samantha. Hang onto your top hats, y'all! It's gonna be a bumpy ride on this Lexicoaster.

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

Order up those diner french fries cuz it's another Upper East Side Thanksgiving, y'all! Dinner will be served at... 4am because we have a LOT of things to cover before we can even start fryin' the bird! If you have notes on Blair's pie recipe, you can keep that to yourself because she is not here for your little games. Speaking of games, will Serena WIN the "prize" that is Aaron Rose, beloved IKEA artist extraordinaire? Somebody get out the van der Woodsen dossiers and tell Bart what the hell is going on here. It's THANKSGIVING!

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

It is the 20th anniversary of Bass Industries. Time sure does fly when you are an evil billionaire and abysmal father! It's Blair's birthday and she's about to meet her mom's new boyfriend. Let's hope he's going to be the present she is hoping for, but we won't hold our breath. Meanwhile, Serena is on the world's worst scavenger hunt, while Dan is suddenly a noted New York journalist. As they say, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"!

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

Y'all ever been to a guerrilla fashion show? Well, slip on those Louboutins because Jenny and Agnes cordially invite us to one. What. An. Epic. Moment. You're in for a treat, Upper East Siders. In other news, we are officially launching the "Dan Mind Your Business" challenge, while we watch Blair not mind her business and it's actually a good thing for once. Side stories include: Justice for JT Yorke (Yes, from Degrassi, sigh. Just listen).

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

This is a big one, y'all! Join us as we watch Little J duke it out once more with Eleanor Waldorf herself. We can't say we endorse what Jenny's doing, but dang do we love to see it. We could not get through this episode without the three A's: Agnes, Aaron, and poor, sweet Arthur. Strap into the portal, kids, we're heading to the Ikea Art Installation in Brooklyn.

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist 

Gather 'round, Upper East Siders! Be home by curfew for dinner because we need to help make an evil billionaire and his self-absorbed wife's dreams come true. It's the van der Woodsen-Bass family shindig in which they will be debuting as a "close family" to the outside world. However, we know that inside, things are... a little complicated to say the least. Bring your warm, fuzzy family memories and PLEASE don't forget your underwear! 

Send us Fan Mail

Follow us on Instagram (@DorotaDiaries) or shoot us an email at [email protected]. 

Art by Maria (@markacarbondale)
Theme Song & Editing by Talea
Spotify Playlist: The Dorota Diaries: a Gossip Girl Playlist