Rob and Chris learn about Ahmose and his overwhelming need to avenge his father. The Nubians show up to help, but show up at the most inconvenient time.

TLDR: Get off my damn lawn!

Rob and Chris learn about the Hittite and their little boy king. The curmudgeon king Hattusilis has a little fun with his closest family members while on his deathbed. His grandson, Mursilis, takes over as king after Hattusilis death and shows his people that he's actually kind of a young asshole.

TLDR: Wretchedly unhappy.

Rob and Chris learn about the Harappan civilization in this very special (re: short) episode of The Dunce Caps! They also talk about a strange traveler who always needs just one dollar.

TLDR: Does anyone have a dolllllaaaarrrr?!

Rob and Chris learn about the ancient Greeks and their weird obsession with bulls. Archeologists go crazy when they find an entire society preserved in volcanic ash. They also talk about all the weird stuff you see on the sidewalks in Brooklyn.

TLDR: Juicin' it!

Rob and Chris are back in Egypt learning about what it's like to live in a desert with no rain. They also talk about dental dams and how to have a proper crab fight.

TLDR: It's sooooo dry.

Rob and Chris learn about Hammurabi's Empire. Shamshi-Adad and his two sons, Ishme-Dagan and Yasmah-Adad, do their best to get along by not trying at all. Hammurabi builds his empire and comes up with a cool list of rules everyone must follow.

TLDR: The disappointing son.

Rob and Chris learn about the overthrow of the Xia Dynasty. They also talk about the Chinese language, President Trump, and what could have been if Bill Clinton had become the first man of the White House.

TLDR: Our asian accents return!

Rob and Chris return to Ur and the Mesopotamia MIxing Bowl, where they decide they're gonna take it back to the moon god. They also talk about retro video games and suicidal thoughts.

TLDR: 30 seconds left to get free lids!

Rob and Chris learn about the worst pharaoh of all time, but mostly just talk about winning shitty prizes at an arcade.

TLDR: The shit hits the fan (hippo farts).

Rob and Chris learn about the first environmental disaster and just how bad salt can be for you. The fall of Ur can mean only one thing... vultures!

TLDR: WHERE'S NANNA?!