The Dunce Caps

Rob and Chris learn about Manifest Destiny and the war with Mexico. Mountain Men capitalize on the fur trade and share stories of trapping and jerking off beavers. Stone Cold Steve Austin opens up a can of whoop ass on Santa Anna and stunners Mexico to death. Joseph Smith and the Mormons schlep their wives all across the country before finally finding a suitable home in Utah.

TLDR: California knows how to party.

Rob and Chris are joined by special guest JP as they invite their listeners to get a little more intimate with the first ten US Presidents. Join us in learning everything you never wanted to know about the first ten US Presidents.

Rob and Chris learn about Andrew Jackson, aka Old Hickory, the king of beef jerky, racism, murder and pop. Jackson throws a party at the White House to celebrate his inauguration and everyone is invited. Van Buren is falsely accused of being an interior decorator. William Henry Harrison shatters a previous Presidential record, but not the good kind.

TLDR: The people's President, don't be ignorant.

Rob and Chris learn about the Industrial Revolution, capitalism, free enterprise, and other white people stuff. The first census takers make a shocking discovery down in Georgia. Early pioneers establish the first time shares in the west, with promises of wrestling, quilting, and corn husking. Henry Clay tries his best to keep the band together and return to the Era of Good Feelings.

TLDR: The Good, The Bad, and The Clay.

Rob and Chris learn how America is maturing and blossoming into a beautiful, young nation confused by new feelings and pubes. Double Down Jefferson can't quite get his new nickname to stick. Lewis and Clark captivate the President with their tales of adventure and tiny scissors. Aaron Burr takes his frustrations out on Alexander Hamilton and scuttles off, never to be seen again.

TLDR: We're going on an adventure!

Rob and Chris learn about the first batman/wrestler president, George Washington, and the political parties that angered him so deeply. Washington has a dinner party with bff Ben Franklin and Alexander Hamilton. Native American Little Turtle, AKA Lil' Turts, shows up at the club and invites Washington to come get turnt. All this and more on another (somewhat) educational episode of the Dunce Caps.

TLDR: The first president wins our hearts.

Rob and Chris learn about America's first attempts at a unified central government. Delegates Metcalfe from NJ and Passaretti from MA present their poorly conceived arguments both for and against taxes. Alexander Hamilton and James Madison form and bizarre friendship and become the country's first odd couple. George Washington body slams the articles of confederation and professes his love for Ben Franklin.

TLDR: Patriotic love is in the air.

Rob and Chris take a break from all that learning and watch the 2000 film "The Patriot" starring Mel Gibson. Peaceful farmer Benjamin Martin is driven to lead the Colonial Militia during the American Revolution when a sadistic British officer murders his son. Get some popcorn and put on your most patriotic garbs as the Dunce Caps go to Hollywood!

TLDR: Don't you dare murder Mel Gibson's sons!

Rob and Chris learn about the Revolutionary War and the obstacles that the Colonial Army faced in their fight for freedom. George Washington and his men face a harsh winter, but they have the last laugh when they surprise the British army on Christmas morning with the most patriotic gift of all: death. France and Spain unite with the Continental Army in their shared hatred for Britain and their bland food. The war ends with a romantic trip to Paris where Britain finally realizes that if you love someone, you must set them free.

TLDR: America has it's first victory in a long winning streak of war.

Rob and Chris learn about the taxes imposed by Britain on the colonies that fueled their desire to declare independence. One too many massacres leads to a tea party, but this ain't your oppressive tyrant's tea party! A motley crew of colonial delegates form the Continental Congress and prepare for war. Is Rob secretly a British sympathizer and American traitor? Will Chris ever get a chance to tar and feather someone? You'll have to listen to find out.

TLDR: If you want taxes, you best represent.