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Today we take a "Look Back Listen" to the Emotional Con Game, originally uploaded three years ago in 2022. Unfortunately, this is something that remains relevant in Cluster B relationships today and was one of my downloaded episodes. Enjoy!

🎯 Key Takeaways

Core Points:

• I’ve learned that Cluster B personality disorders involve manipulative behaviors and emotional abuse. As a victim, I often felt responsible for the abuser’s actions.
• I now recognize that understanding the manipulative tactics used by Cluster B individuals is crucial for my self-preservation. These tactics include love bombing, flattery, and withholding affection.
• I’ve come to understand that Cluster B individuals lack emotional maturity, making healthy, adult relationships impossible.
• I must acknowledge the abusive nature of my relationship and prioritize my own well-being.
• Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult but necessary for my healing. I understand that the abuser will likely not change.
• My healing journey involves self-discovery and rebuilding my identity after being emotionally manipulated.

🔍 Summary

Understanding the Emotional Con: I experienced a long-term relationship with someone I suspect has a histrionic, covert narcissistic personality disorder. I’ve come to see it as an “emotional con” that manipulated me, creating a false sense of love and connection that ultimately crumbled. I struggled to accept that I was deceived, often blaming myself for the relationship’s failures.

Manipulative Tactics and Lack of Emotional Intelligence: I witnessed firsthand how Cluster B individuals employ manipulative strategies, including love bombing (initial showering of affection) followed by withdrawal of affection. This pattern created a cycle of confusion and self-doubt in me. I realized the lack of emotional intelligence in my partner, comparing their emotional maturity to that of a young child. This immaturity prevented us from forming a genuine, adult relationship. I experienced this painfully in my personal life, seeing my partner’s profound emotional limitations.

The Illusion of a Functional Relationship: Despite the underlying abuse, our relationship maintained an outward appearance of civility. There were no major blow-ups or dramatic arguments. However, I now see this civility masked a deeply unhappy and unfulfilling reality. I felt used and uncared for. My partner’s interest in me centered on my financial contributions and other resources.

The Decision to Leave and the Cycle of Abuse: I’ve learned the importance of identifying deal-breakers in a relationship. I understand the need to seriously assess my tolerance level and whether abusive patterns will continue. I’m aware of the common pattern of victims returning to abusive relationships, but I’m firmly committed to breaking this cycle. I don’t believe my partner would genuinely fight to keep me, which reveals the lack of authentic care in our relationship.

Healing and Self-Discovery: I now focus on self-healing and self-discovery. I understand that I cannot change my abuser, but I can prioritize my own well-being, regain my identity, and find self-worth outside of this abusive relationship. I encourage myself and others to seek support and remember that we are not alone in this experience. My priority is my healing and self-worth.

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