For the first 17 years of my Christian life, my emotional life was completely divorced from my spiritual life.  Or so I thought. When sadness, anger, or disappointment surfaced from my soul, I did not see them as gifts. As a leader, I saw my emotions as interruptions to "my real work" – moving the church forward and reaching the lost! As a result, I was not present with myself, with God, or with others. I saw my sadness as something to be overcome through prayer and Scripture. I would declare, "the joy of the Lord is my strength!" while ignoring the deep cries of my heart. The truth is that emotions never die. They are only buried alive. They always resurface, leaking into other parts of our lives and relationships.  It took a work of God for this to change in my life and marriage. When my wife Geri and I discovered the permission to explore our emotional life, it was like opening up a dam. The world went from black and white to color almost overnight. Emotionally healthy leaders see their emotions as invitations, not obstacles to the mission of God. The fruit of this journey leads to less anxiety and more freedom in our lives, leadership, and relationships. In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about the skill of emotional discovery we call "Explore the Iceberg" in Emotionally Healthy Relationships.    Bottom line, your emotional life is a matter of life and death!

Leaders, by definition, are captivated by the future – moving forward, making progress, and changing the world. But what many leaders fail to appreciate is that we are all anchored in our past. In other words, none of us are "blank slates". We each bring the blessings and curses of our families of origin (Exodus 20:5) into our relationships, churches, organizations, and businesses.  Emotionally healthy leaders understand that you cannot go forward without first going backward. That is why the GENOGRAM is one of the core tools in both parts of the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course. When I became a Christian, I believed I was a "new creation" (2 Cor. 5:17) and that I no longer needed to deal with my past. However, when I discovered the genogram tool, I found a new way to bring all of the baggage of my family of origin to Jesus to be changed.  The truth is – you cannot change what you are unaware of. In today's podcast episode, Geri and I share our history with this powerful tool and how it helped us name the reality of our past to catalyze the transforming work of Jesus in our lives and leadership. Don't miss this one!

• Your expectation is unconscious. You didn't even know you had an expectation until it was violated.
• Your expectation is unrealistic. It is not reasonable given the person or circumstance.
• Your expectation is unspoken. You did not clearly articulate your expectation to another person.
• Your expectation is un-agreed upon. The other person never agreed to follow-through with your expectation.

In over four decades of leadership, I've come to the conclusion that one of the biggest gaps in our leadership training comes down to one essential skill... Creating safety where everyone around you feels empowered to communicate clearly and honestly. Without this skill, church teams remain silenced - unable to speak truth and creating the conditions for an environment of frustration, resentment, and judgement. On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the first of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to unleash the God-given voice of our people. We'll model a powerful skill called "Community Temperature Reading" and talk about how it applies to real life leadership scenarios. Imagine leading a church where every staff, leader, and volunteer knows how to communicate clearly. Imagine a culture, where everyone feels safe to tell the truth and has the skills needed to do so. Imagine the unity that is possible when every voice is heard. Take a listen to today's podcast.

According to the World Christian Encyclopedia, the fastest growing stream of the church is the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement. In terms of overall numbers, it represents 644 million Christians world wide. This is 8.3% of the world population. By 2050, it will reach over 1 billion people. Unbelievable! We need the power of God, gifts of the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders for the global mission of the church. Much of my personal spiritual and leadership journey was formed in the charismatic movement. We regularly experienced the outpouring of God's power in our church. It was electric. And yet I was still proud, defensive, distant, not present, unable to connect relationally, conflict avoidant, unaware internally, and unloving. This disconnect is what led to the birth of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. In today's episode, I unpack 5 key contributions of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship that allow us to walk in the healthy, long-term release of God’s power. 

For leaders, one of the most frustrating parts of decision-making is this... It....takes....time. Sure, sometimes quick decisions are necessary. But most consequential decisions (that shape the future of your life, church, and ministry) require the ability to slow down and wait. Usually for longer than is comfortable for you. In order to let your judgments (discernments) come from deep within, you cannot in any way be pressed or hurried. You must wait. To be clear, waiting does not mean you are doing nothing.  You are doing the most important something there is. In today's podcast, I share more about what God is actually developing in you in times of waiting. Then I take time to address several questions listeners have submitted.