The Erotic Philosopher

How do we release generations of internalized sexual shame?

Desire Catalyst inspired relationships to desire. Systemic family constellations. Transgenerational patterns

The power of lineage and repetition in families around sex & relationships.

DNA shifts alterations after trauma. How can plant medicine and herbalism help shift sexual healing and whats the relationship between ancestral wisdom  and plant medicine? Pleasure is the point of life!

Listener letter Patricia afraid of being single. Four generations of lone parents. Gets into relationships then loses interest in sex.

How do our beliefs about sex/ relationships inform our relationships and lives? Who do these beliefs serve? Who benefits from them? And how do we liberate ourselves into new truths?

Elise offers super practical tips on transforming deeply stuck patterns of fear, shame and trauma

Elise Bish is a conscious sexuality educator, folk herbalist, and family constellation facilitator. She believes that sex is sacred, pleasure is healing, and desire is our motivation to grow. Elise has over a decade of experience in the field of sexuality and has supported hundreds of people in cultivating an inspired relationship to their desire through embodiment practices, ancestral healing, and conscious sexual skill-building. In her 1:1 coaching, workshops, and retreats, she holds sacred space where people of all genders can explore their relationship to their desire and sexuality in a shame-free, non-judgmental environment.

www.elisebish.com

Instagram @desirecatalyst

But being a sex educator doesn't mean we don't have our own sex & relationship problems. In this episode we talk about what to do when life is just really hard and love falls apart

Transformations

Lola shares deep, intimate  hard truths about divorce after 17 years of (non-monogamous) marriage. She navigates fear, uncertainty, loneliness, hard grief, the importance of being heard and brand new beginnings. How do we break up when change is inevitable but still so painful? And how do we manage a change from non-monogamous to monogamous?

Self-inquiry for the win and keep your side of the street clean says Lola! Getting on and getting over it.

Lola advises listener "Broken & Lonely" about healing the past, self forgiveness and change.  Does the truth set you free? What's the purpose of the truth? And who benefits from it?

Dirty Lola is a sex edutainer, speaker & self-proclaimed dildo slinger. Known for her live sex ed Q&A show Sex Ed A Go-Go and as co-host of New York Magazine’s The Cut’s “Sex Probz” web series, Lola has spent almost a decade working to end stigma and shame surrounding sex and sexuality. Having started her journey sharing personal discoveries with polyamory and kink online, Lola now uses her knowledge, warm candor and public platforms to teach the masses in-person and to rapt Internet audiences.

Website: http://sexedagogo.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DirtyLola

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dirtylola

In this episode we dive deep with T.T Baum.

T.T. is a sacred intimate who teaches people to connect with their own erotic wisdom.

We explore what holds people back in sexuality

Erotic Philosopher listener Robin asks T.T about keeping interested in sex when his heart gets involved.

We explore - Do hook ups have to be cheap? Can intimacy exist in a hook up?  Can slutty sex be sacred?

T.T breaks down internalized homophobia and highlights the freedoms afforded to men who have sex with men and how liberating it can be to take erotic risks.

T.T talks about the disconnection that can happen between the heart and the genitals in sex and what effect that can have on connection.

Twitter: @integraleros

Insta: @TTBaum

LinkdIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ttbaum/

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/intimacyacademy

Today's guest is Shadeen Francis - a licensed psychotherapist, graduate professor, and author that specializes in sex therapy and social justice.

In the first of 2 parts with Shadeen, Cyndi jumps right in with a listener quandary for Shadeen about a couple who have lost their erotic traction. One says she doesn't enjoy sex with him anymore and tells the Erotic Philosophers that sex has become a chore! No matter what, they cant seem to get out of this  funk - Shadeen has some great responses and reflections

Shadeen has been featured on platforms like ABC, CBS, NBC, and the New York Times to share her unique expertise on sex and relationships. Known for her signature brand of warmth and humour, all of Shadeen’s work is inspired by her commitment to helping people live lives full of peace and pleasure.

https://www.shadeenfrancis.com/

https://cyndidarnell.com/podcast-the-erotic-philosopher/

Where else to start except heteronormativity, anal sex, sexual shame, pride and anally receptive straight cis men! Yes, they go right there.

How does privilege protect us from sexual shame and what effect does our identity have on our shame and practices? Alex tells us about their PhD research into anally receptive straight men and how pressure reduces pleasure!

Speaking of pleasure, how do you talk about unsatisfying sex in a relationship? What are the benefits of feeling awkward? How do we get better at talking about pleasure? What happens if we go to feeling bad to feel good in controlled yet kinky consensual contexts? Alex shares and insight they received in a client session on how to navigate shame that really impressed them.

Then Dr Alex & Cyndi address an erotic quandary from a listener about sexual highs, sobriety, fantasy sex, feeling how we want to feel during sex and creating hotter sex through life changes, preparation & communication. How do we manage fear and awkwardness when we want to take an erotic risk...where do we even start?

Are you ready… strap in (or on) Let’s go.

Dr. Dulcinea Pitagora (they/them) —who also goes by Alex has a psychotherapy and sex therapy private practice at the Manhattan Alternative Wellness Collective in support of all sexualities, genders, and lifestyles. They are proudly out as a member of the kink, poly, queer, and TGNC (trans & gender non-conforming) communities, and also as a former sex worker. They created ManhattanAlternative.com, a referral site for sex positive therapists and wellness professionals, and they co-organize the AltSex NYC Conference, a forum for expansive sexuality education. They have recently come out as Cyndi Darnell’s biggest fan. 

You can find Alex at  dulcneapitagora (dot) com

Welcome to the first episode of the first season of The Erotic Philosopher, the podcast where we examine and explore erotic quandaries through social, personal, cultural, political and other lenses with the world's wisest erotic philosophers.