Carlos Kaiser had one of the longest careers in Brazilian football, joining all the big four clubs Botafogo, Fluminense, Flamengo, and Vasco da Gama, plus stints in Mexico, Argentina and France.
However, what made Kaiser’s career remarkable was not its length or being part of so many top sides but the fact that he never played a single game.
Titus O’Reily and Mick Molloy look at the greatest footballer to never play football and examine how he got away with it for so long.
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The Footballer Who Wasn't – Sports Bizarre

Mick Molloy and Titus O’Reily are always on the lookout for a bizarre story. The harder to believe, the better.
Yet all these stories are true, even if many of them shouldn’t be.
Every Monday they delve into the world of sport with Sports Bizarre, and every Wednesday they turn their eye to the Animal Kingdom in Animal Bizarre.
From teammates who swapped wives to a crypto-investing hamster, one thing we guarantee if they are all bizarre.
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Comedy

Sports

A lot is happening in this week's episode, from a Walrus who ruined New Year's Eve, lobsters getting high and animals getting revenge on humans.
Titus has a live show in Melbourne on 7 June. You can get tickets here.
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When Animals Strike Back - Animal Bizarre

On 12 August 1872, Captain Matthew Webb stood on the English shore and covered himself with porpoise oil before setting off to attempt to be the first person to swim the English Channel.
Webb swam breaststroke as no Englishman would be caught dead swimming the new 'freestyle' stroke. It was considered “violent and grotesque.”
When Webb was just over halfway, a storm hit the Channel. It appeared once again the Channel would never be conquered.
Titus has a live show in Melbourne on 7 June. You can get tickets here.
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Swimming the English Channel Part 2- Sports Bizarre

Titus and Mick cross the animal kingdom in this episode from a two-foot-tall cow to raccoons who ruin a gender reveal party.
They then pay a classy tribute to Mr Gox, the crypto-trading hamster who passed away unexpectedly. 
Titus has a live show in Melbourne on 7 June. You can get tickets here.
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The Crypto-Trading Hamster - Animal Bizarre

One of the most challenging athletic feats in human history is to swim the English Channel.
It’s 34 kilometres of open sea between England and France, which also happens to be the busiest sea lane in the world, with water temperatures hovering between 14 to 18 degrees Celsius in summer.
For your swim to be officially recognised, wet suits or any thermal protection are not allowed. It’s just you against the ocean.
Tides will also sweep you kilometres off course, you’ll almost certainly be stung by jellyfish, and even while swimming, the churning waves can make you seasick.
So why does anyone do it? Who was the first? And just how dangerous is it? Mick and Titus look at the history of swimming the English Channel.
Titus has a live show in Melbourne on 7 June. You can get tickets here.
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Swimming the English Channel Part 1 - Sports Bizarre

Mick and Titus pay their respects to Magawa the rat who dedicated his life to detecting landmines. Plus, they discuss the Bahraini seagulls that are too fat to fly; loud cicada sex parties and the monotreme with four penises.
Titus has three live shows coming up in May in Melbourne. You can get tickets here.
If you’d like more Animal Bizarre, become a member of Bizarre Plus.
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The Footballer Who Wasn't – Sports Bizarre

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