Rigidity and laxity are difficult obstacles to avoid when trying to find balance in your faith life.

When we treat Christianity as a project, that leads to rigidity. When we treat Christianity like a projection, that leads to laxity. If you’re just looking at what Christians are supposed to do and then following those instructions, you’re treating your faith like a project and that’s bound to make you rigid. At the other extreme, if you see Jesus as a softy or a buddy who’s going to look the other way when you do the wrong thing, that’s just your projection of who he is. This mentality is bound to make you lax.

How do we escape these two extremes? Here’s an analogy from Fr. Mike. When a pilot gets ready to fly a plane, he has a certain trust that the plane will fly, but he still has to check that everything is working properly before taking off. Also, he still has to check the controls even as he is flying and putting his life in the plane’s hands. There is a symbiotic balance between trust and diligence here. That’s what walking with Jesus should be like.

Let’s take Christ seriously. He is infinitely loving. Let’s take grace seriously. God’s grace is infinite. However, it requires application. When you say, “Jesus, I trust in you” those words should help you not only let go, but also take a leap of faith and faith without works is dead (James 2:17).

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Making small sacrifices is not just for Lent, because sacrifices and penance are necessary. As Christ said:

“If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

And this is true all year long. But when Jesus said to deny yourself, he didn’t mean to always go against what you want. Really. He meant there are things I want that will not make me more like him—a lot of things, actually. So following him often means dying to self by denying myself those things.

Mortifications—little deaths to self—make us more like Jesus and can be offered up for the sanctification of the world and others. Mortification can come in many different forms. It’s not always denying yourself something you want. Sometimes it means doing something you don’t want. Sloth or greed can cause us to not do things we should do. Choosing not to be slothful or greedy often means doing something for someone else—and this is a little death to self.

Love is the not-so-secret ingredient that helps us die to self. The entire gospel and Jesus’ life are about love. He is constantly telling us and showing us how to love one another and God. That’s because when we learn to love, dying to self becomes so much easier since we start living for God and others. Life is hard when we’re selfish, but when we live for love we see what Christ means when he says “my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:30).

You may also like No Greater Love: A Biblical Walk Though Christ’s Passion (https://bit.ly/2BjgNu5)

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Fr. Mike explains how being at home with our family is one of God’s favorite ways to make us holy—if we are honest about the areas where we need to grow in our relationships with family members.

Fr. Mike has observed that college students often have a profound encounter with Jesus through their college’s Catholic community. They find that they are praying more, receiving the sacraments more, participating in more service opportunities, and so on. Then they get back home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or—in the most recent cases—a lockdown. They realize, in their interactions with their family that they’re not as holy as they thought they were.

Why do we struggle to be loving toward those whom we claim to love the most? It’s harder to love family members sometimes because—Fr. Mike explains—you didn’t get to choose this group, and they can make demands on you.

It’s easy to be generous when it’s on your own terms.

Our relationships with our family can reveal the impatience and lack of generosity inside us—the unedited version of us.

Be honest with God and admit that the things you thought you defeated are still somewhere inside you. Surrender these things to Jesus. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with your family. They love you. Ask family members where they want you to grow this week.

Pursue holiness at home. Like St. Teresa of Calcutta said, find your own Calcutta.

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In today’s special podcast, Fr. Mike Schmitz sits down with Fr. Josh Johnson to discuss racial division in the Church and how Catholics can strive to restore unity in the Body of Christ. Fr. Josh emphasizes that he is not infallible, so it’s okay to disagree with anything he says that doesn’t lead you closer to Christ, but he hopes this conversation bears fruit in your walk with Jesus and within the body of Christ.

Many members of the Church want to know what they can do during these turbulent times. Fr. Josh gives four practical pieces of advice: listen to learn, use specific language when speaking with each other, act as one Body in Christ, and join in the suffering of Jesus to make reparation for others’ sins.

For full shownotes, please go to AscensionPress.com/FrMikePodcast

Special Guest: Fr. Josh Johnson.

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Throughout the Gospels Jesus says, “Remain in me” or “abide in me,” which—in simplified terms—means whatever you do, invite Jesus along. Ask him to “come with.” This is a way to grow in your relationship with him, but it’s also a smart thing to do because, after all, Jesus said:

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

When we ask someone to “come with” or “go with”, as Fr. Mike says they do in Minnesota, we are implying that we enjoy their company and even have a certain kind of love for them. When you love someone, you want them to come with you wherever you go.

But “remain in me” means more than that. It also means gaze upon Jesus, not just at his face in a religious icon—though that could help—but gaze upon him with the interior gaze of the heart. Be aware that he is present. This shouldn’t be burdensome. It’s simple. Spending time with one you love is as easy as doing nothing.

Thirdly, remaining in Christ means to speak to him. Tell him your dreams and desires. Ask him what he wills. When you do this keep in mind, the Lord is free. He is not robotic. He is free to love us as he wills, and sometimes that love is difficult—but it’s what we need.

So next time you do something, anything, say, “Jesus, wanna go with?”

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When someone says something hurtful to you, it is wise to give them the benefit of the doubt. What does that mean? It means ask yourself, “Do I firmly believe that this is a person of good will?” If so, is there anything that can help you better understand their behavior?

Give them the benefit of the doubt that they are just tired, or “hangry”, or having a bad day for some reason. Especially in marital relationships, think of how many times your spouse has said hurtful things to you, while you knew that they still loved you.

This is not to excuse hurtful behavior, and not a reason to tolerate being treated poorly, or to endure any kind of abuse. In many cases a person’s actions do reveal their heart. So we’re not talking about those cases. We’re not talking about people who manipulate others intentionally, and those who just willfully do evil. We’re talking about when people of good will just have a bad moment, or momentarily let their vain side get the best of them.

The way we respond to an enemy and the way we respond to a friend is going to be different. Decide which one hurt you, and respond accordingly.

www.ascensionpress.com/theFrMikeSchmitzPodcast

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You know you should be praying. But do you ever wish someone would show you how? Fr. Mike starts by showing us how to pray with the Bible with a time-honored method called lectio divina.

For full shownotes, please go to: https://bit.ly/2WYdL5F

Monday, May 18 at 8 PM ET, Father Mike will answer your questions LIVE, for the first time ever on Ascension Presents! Whether your question is about why Catholics do the weird things they do, how you can overcome a specific challenge, or what Father’s favorite meal is, tune into the Ascension Presents YouTube channel to ask Father Mike live! https://bit.ly/2WUs1wp

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Vanity is not what many people think it is. It can come in many forms, and is not necessarily an infatuation with yourself. Vanity is an inordinate preoccupation with what other people think about you—which is different.

It’s important, to an extent, to care what others think about you. It can even be charitable. But when this care becomes unbalanced, it leads to neglecting more important things.

Wanting to be noticed can be vain, but not wanting to be noticed can also be vain. When you shrink back and don’t want anyone to look at you, it can be a form of vanity or false humility; because not wanting to be seen can be an indication that you care an inordinate amount about what people think of you.

Vanity can also cause an unwillingness to share the Faith. Many times we think sharing the gospel will make people think less of us. How many times has the thought of what other people think prevented you from sharing the Faith?

Balance is pertinent in every aspect of vanity, and the best way to achieve that balance is to care about what God thinks of you above all.

These sayings about humility really sum it up well, since humility is the antidote to vanity:

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less” (Rick Warren, The Purpose-Driven Life).

“If you meet a really humble man … He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all” (C.S. Lewis).

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In a previous episode, Fr. Mike said that all Catholics grow in the same “soil” together, but the fruit we bear is unique. But what is this common soil? What are the essentials for every Catholic Christian?

“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.”

So there are four elements in the soil:

God wants us to flourish in faith, hope, and love for him and for others. He is the one who makes us grow in holiness, but in order to flourish we have to be nourished by the soil he gave us.

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Fr. Mike talks about how to navigate discussions with your partner about sexual sin—whether it’s pornography, masturbation, or other impurity.

It’s important to realize that sometimes a person doesn’t have a right to know everything about you immediately. Keeping this in mind, at what point does a couple have to be vulnerable about their sexual sins? After two months of dating, maybe six months? It’s quite possible—actually likely—that a person’s sexual sins are the most shameful part of his or her life, so when someone is not exposing those sins—no matter how long the couple has been together—it may just be that the person is not comfortable being that vulnerable with their partner yet.

A person has a right to be hurt and mad if their partner is not revealing their sexual sins, but he or she should also ask if they had a right to that knowledge.

Father Mike asserts that such knowledge doesn’t have to result in the end of the relationship. Once the sin has been revealed, it should stay revealed. Neither partner should just assume that it’s in the past and done with. It’s bound to come up again.

If you’re struggling with sexual sin, your partner needs to know you are doing everything you can to defeat the sin. He or she probably shouldn’t be your accountability partner, but should be informed. If your partner is the one struggling, you ought to help him or her defeat the sin in whatever way you can. Both of you should champion romantic love, since it is a strong combatant against sexual sin.

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