The Good Enough Mother

In this short episode I share some of my reflections about the creation of my latest program The Liberating Motherhood Experience.

This is a program that I've been thinking about for many months but it's been within the space of a week that the program structure has landed with me (while listening to the audiobook of Gabor Maté's latest book, which I reference in the program).

In this episode I share what WOULD be an 'easy' and 'appealing' selling point when it comes to the liberation of motherhood, but one that I believe is not actually possible....

I then share where I think our place of agency and power is in what we CAN do in the working towards the liberation of motherhood.

Within this episode I walk you through the narrative arc of The Liberating Motherhood Experience and what you can expect from the program.

Join The Liberating Motherhood Experience for $50AUD and joining before Saturday 12th November, 2022 gives you access to a live 90min group call + replay, where we come together in connection and reflection on how we witness/experience motherhood and what it means to ENACT a practice of liberation.

Join here: https://drsophiebrock.com/liberatingmotherhood

Watch fishtank animation here: https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood

Today I speak with doula, mentor and women’s circle facilitator Rachael Rose.

Rachael works to build community around motherhood, and is driven by a desire for mothers to feel less alone as they journey through rites of passage such as pregnancy, birth, postpartum, launching and running a business, and navigating the complexities of mothering in the modern world. She is a strong advocate for community making and re-villaging in ways that are practical, honest and simple. She's also very frank about the need for mothers to actively pursue and maintain relationships, and that community takes effort, time and a little discomfort.

We discuss what she's learned from being a circle facilitator and mentor, and what she feels mothers are needing most right now. She shares her own experiences with mothering and business, and what she has learned since the birth of her first child.

Rachael Rose is a mother of two, a pregnancy and postpartum doula and women’s circle facilitator. Rachael wants mothers to be seen and celebrated, to feel loved and less alone. She is utterly obsessed with creating spaces of connection for women, through her circle work.

Rachael has recently released Together, her online Women’s Circle Facilitator Training and over 130 women from all over the world have joined.

She would love to offer listeners a $50 discount off Together, with the coupon code GOODENOUGH, for the first 20 enrolments.

https://www.rachaelrose.com.au/together?coupon=GOODENOUGH

That brings the price to $349AUD.

https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast83

Today I talk with doula, coach and mother, Jessie Harrold.

Jessie is passionate about navigating the transition into motherhood with trust and confidence.

Jessie talks to the experience of both losing and finding ourselves in motherhood, and how bounce-back culture overlooks the hard work of navigating huge identity shifts. She shares what happens after the first 40 days of motherhood, how to reorient our lives around newly defined values and priorities as parents, and ways to make sense of pivotal moments.

We dive into the shifts that occur in our relationships, and how we can take responsibility for creating our place of belonging in our communities.

Jessie shares her work supporting mothers to lean into the liminal nature of postpartum, understanding it as a slow yet profound process of stepping into our motherhood identity, with all the meaning, joy and grief that comes along with it. She encourages new mothers to ask themselves, at many points along the journey ‘who am I now’? And to continue asking questions of ourselves as we become, and continue to evolve, as mothers.

Follow Jessie at @jessie.es.harrold and head to the show notes for episode highlights and links to Jessie's quiz and programs

https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast82

Today’s episode is with author and child activist Zoe Haack. We discuss Zoe’s work supporting parents to navigate the critical period of birth to 5 years, as they learn what it means to become parents. Zoe’s approach is to look at the intergenerational patterns of parenting we inherent, and how to bring awareness to the ways in which we would like to parent our children going forward, and to see them as unique individuals with value to share. Zoe explains the importance of reflecting upon the way we were treated as children, and to realise how we are seeing our own children through the lens of how we were raised.

Zoe shares how the most important thing is being able to approach ourselves and our children with compassion and to have awareness of the language we use. We also ask, how can we be more free to enjoy our children? How do we parent the child in front of us, and not base our decisions on outside influences and education? How do we aim to meet the cultural demands of the society around us? And where could we let some of that go, to allow ourselves to be oriented towards joy? Because children are experts at following the joy and can teach us so much.

https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast81

About Zoe:

Zoe Haack is an author, child activist and thought leader on growth through osmosis. She sees a world where our natural rhythms are restored, and children lead. She recognises the innate wisdom of childhood and implores adults to see beyond the confines of societal structures to regain sovereignty.

An avid researcher and remarkable storyteller, Zoe revolutionises the way educators prioritise trust, freedom, and autonomy for children.

https://www.facebook.com/zoe.haack.childactivist

https://www.instagram.com/zoe.haack.childactivist/

https://akunaconcepts.com

What does it actually mean to say that motherhood is 'social' or 'constructed' through our culture? Why should we care about motherhood-culture and how does it impact and influence individual mothers, and our children? What is the perfect mother myth, how does it show up in our lives, and what can we do about shifting how we feel about ourselves as mothers? What's the alternative?

These are some of the questions I speak to in this episode. Find out more on the episode webpage here: https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast80

If you leave a review of the podcast, I'll send a little 'thank you' in the mail :) Pop your postal details in here - forms.gle/uaDvhtFYnUQvG69EA

*Please note that this episode mentions suicidality.

Redefining our careers and purpose as mothers with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz

In this episode I speak with best-Selling author, speaker, journalist, Matrescence Activist and Mama of three, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz. We examine the individual and social costs, consequences and challenges of mothers navigating and engaging in paid work and building/maintaining careers in a system that isn’t set up for mothers. Amy shares her experience of this, the development of her business, and how the way we ‘work’ shapes how we see and experience ourselves as women and mothers. We discuss some of the social and structural barriers that face mothers and what it can mean to contribute to the world through our mothering and a career. We reflect on re-valuing the role of the mother within our society, and the need for institutional and system change to better support and value women when we become mothers.

Connect with Amy further by following @amytaylorkabbaz/

Check out Amy’s Mama Rising® coaching certification training and enrol using Sophie’s link here - https://bit.ly/3SaXXIz

See full show notes and resources for the episode here - https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast79

If you leave a review of the podcast, I'll send a little 'thank you' in the mail :) Pop your postal details in here - forms.gle/uaDvhtFYnUQvG69EA

In today’s conversation I talk with perinatal clinical psychologist Dr Caroline Boyd, discussing the topics in her recent book ‘Mindful New Mum: A Mind-Body Approach to the Highs and Lows of Motherhood’.

We explore the pressures of modern motherhood and the impossible expectations mothers face. In doing so, we consider how we can reevaluate some of the patterns and beliefs that we have internalised about what it means to be a mother.

What are some ways we learn to tolerate our feelings, without self blame, without criticism, and hold both joy and grief at the same time? Can we be a gentle parent, yet also give ourselves permission to be angry?

We also discuss how the pandemic illuminated the gaps in care and the harsh reality of modern parenting without the support systems required to thrive.

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Links:

Buy a copy of Caroline’s book here - https://www.dk.com/uk/book/9780241531365-mindful-new-mum/

Follow her on Instagram @_drboyd

Explore more of Caroline’s work: https://drcarolineboyd.com

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If you leave a review of the podcast, I'll send a little 'thank you' in the mail :) Pop your postal details in here - https://forms.gle/uaDvhtFYnUQvG69EA

In this episode I’m speaking with matrescence educator Nikki McCahon about her work, journey into motherhood, and framework for understanding and navigating matrescence. Nikki shares about her postpartum and her experience of an ‘identity death’, and how she made sense of her transformation through the framework of the four seasons.

As part of our conversation Nikki speaks to how a seasonal and cyclical lens can provide a framework for navigating times of transition and challenge in our mothering journeys, helping to orient us. This approach can provide us with more space for self compassion and identity expansion, when we are able to name and challenge the limitations in place when life experiences - and the journey through mothering - are framed as linear processes.

We explore the importance of leaning on others to provide support and how to fully be in the seasons of receiving as a mother. We discuss the disjuncture that exists between this desire and an honouring of our matrescence journeys, while living within a society that glorifies bounce-back culture. The ‘endless summer’ that is placed on a pedestal of constant growth minimises the complexity and the gifts that can be within sitting in the truth of whatever season we’re currently navigating.

Nikki uses some beautiful analogies from the natural world to make sense of life’s big moments, seeing ourselves beyond what we can do for others, and to value the opportunity to meet ourselves in deeper ways as we journey through motherhood.

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BIO: Nikki McCahon is a matrescence educator, women’s life cycle guide, podcast host and mother to her six year old son.

As a matrescence educator and guide, Nikki helps mothers navigate the often unexpected changes and challenges of becoming and being a mother, whilst simultaneously supporting mothers to explore the opportunities that mothering can provide for their own personal growth and expansion.

Her model - the seasons of matrescence - applies a seasonal and cyclical lens to matrescence, providing a map for mothers to use when navigating times of change and transition and support to explore their matrescence journey within the context of their broader life cycle and rites of passage.

Nikki is passionate about creating community and normalising the physical, psychological, and emotional changes women go through during matrescence. In 2017 Nikki founded Australia's largest meet-up community for mums, which grew to 40,000 members in three years, before it was acquired by a national not for profit, the centre of perinatal excellence (COPE) in 2020.

Her work now focuses on providing matrescence guidance and education to mothers through her podcast and group programs, and supporting those who work with mothers to integrate matrescence education, guidance and support into their practice through her Seasons of Matrescence teacher training program.

Connect with Nikki - @nikkimccahon / and join the waitlist for the 2023 intake of the Seasons of Matrescence training - https://courses.nikkimccahon.com/som

In today’s podcast conversation with Kat River, we explore the question of ‘how can we disrupt our ideas of what motherhood means, to redefine it for ourselves, through our creativity?’

Kat is a retreat facilitator, former couples coach, and speaker who talks about her transition from maiden to mother, drawing on tools of creativity to honour and traverse self transformation through becoming a mother.

Kat shares her insights on how motherhood has encouraged her to deepen and change her relationship to her work, her creativity, her relationships, and her identity. This involves navigating boundaries and priorities, examining inner fears and beliefs around a loss of independence and taking 'time out', and learning how to facilitate opportunities for our life and work focusses to evolve, change and shift.

We reflect on how the postpartum period has the potential to be an invitation for deeper self knowledge, the importance of self-witnessing and honouring ourselves in a transitional time, and how it can be a training ground for our lives. We also look at relationships and codependency, fulfilment, and navigating the unexpected sides of motherhood with ‘leaps of faith’; relinquishing a sense of perceived control, while also recognising the structural and contextual challenges mothers also face.

This is a conversation that speaks to the possibilities of exploring a life of integration between mother, woman, and creator, and allowing fluidity in how we see ourselves and the world.

Kat River lives in the Noosa hinterland with her husband Tully & two year old son Rafi.

Kat is a multicreative expressionist, and hosts a slow podcast "Mother Maker" centered towards mother creatives, mother entrepreneurs, mother mystics and intuitive motherhood.

Those who are finding their own harmony (And often not harmony) between motherhood, and creative/work/career pursuits. She supports mother creatives in their magnificence through Mother Maker, as it evolves from a podcast, to events, retreats and a festival to cultivate community and reimagining the modern village of motherhood... though above all else, navigating the slow days of motherhood, and raising a little wildling.

You can find Kat on her instagram: @the.kat.river and turn on post notifications if you want to keep up with everything she shares.

Her podcast is "Mother Maker" and available on spotify, Apple Podcasts & Anchor.

Email is [email protected]

This podcast episode is an unpacking and discussion of the recent Netflix production The Lost Daughter, based on the novel of the same name by the pseudonymous Italian novelist Elena Ferrante and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal. The film explores the textured, complex, nuanced, challenging parts of the mothering experience and positioning of motherhood culturally. The themes explored shine a light on the shadow side of being a mother, the boundaries of maternal ‘transgressions’, and the experience of maternal ambivalence.

To reflect on the film, I’m joined in conversation by Julianne Boutaleb, a passionate and highly experienced perinatal psychologist who has worked for over 15 years in the NHS and private practice with parents and parents-to-be and their babies. Julianne and I discuss the importance of this film in exploring the complex and raw portrayal of motherhood on our screens, something we so rarely see examined in such a demanding and articulate way.

We look at mothering and the experience of maternal violence, peacemaking and repair, and explore the gap between the idealised version of motherhood versus what is real. We ask and explore questions such as - what do we do with the loss of the imagined future we had before having our children? What are ‘maternal transgressions’ of the ‘bad mother’ and who defines these? Who decides which are acceptable and which ones aren't? What stories and rules have we internalised as mothers, and where have these come from? What standards are we holding ourselves to as mothers?

We look at the possibility of self-erasure and self-surveillance, and explore why it could be helpful to start with the basic premise that we are never going to always meet our child's emotional needs, and why perhaps that's not our job.

This is a powerful episode full of interesting discussion on the cultural, social and deeply personal experience of mothering and the sacrifice, tension and fierce love involved. Acknowledging that this film can raise challenging, fraught, and sometimes painful responses in viewers, if you find aspects of this podcast conversation raises difficult feelings for you, please reach out for support.

Support lines

Australia - https://www.panda.org.au/ - 1300 726 306

UK - https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/ - 0808 1961 776

USA - https://www.postpartum.net/ - Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (EN)

Podcast notes:

Cultured magazine: ‘In the lost daughter mums are people too’ - Mariah Kreutter.

https://www.culturedmag.com/article/2022/01/13/in-emthe-lost-daughter-em-moms-are-people-too

The Guardian: ‘How The Lost Daughter confronts one of our most enduring cultural taboos’ - Adrian Horton https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/jan/05/the-lost-daughter-elena-ferrante-maggie-gyllenhaal-motherhood

Winnicott’s theory of A Good Enough Mother

Sara Ruddick; Feminist philosopher and the author of Maternal Thinking: Toward a Politics of Peace

Foucault and Jeremy Bentham’s panopticon

Melanie Klein; Austrian-British author and psychoanalyst known for her work in child analysis.