By Evie Wright.

I’ve always been told I have a calm energy. And I do think that’s true. It’s a skill I carried into my twenties as a paramedic - stepping out of the ambulance into scenes thick with panic and somehow bringing the temperature down. A steady voice. A listening ear.

But for the whole year before I finally resigned from burnout, that calm presence was just a front. It was a perfectly curated performance, masking what I actually was: exhausted, anxious, and running on fumes.

A typical post-shift evening would look like this: after a 14-hour day, I’d drive the hour home in silence. No music. No podcast. Shallow breaths. Just the road stretching ahead, steady and hypnotic, while my mind chatter went a hundred miles an hour. I’d unlock my front door, drop my bag by the hallway, and lie down on the floor. Boots still on. The carpet pressing into my shoulder blades.

Eventually, I’d take a big, gasping breath. Crawl off the floor and wolf my dinner down. I’d snap at my loved ones. I’d doom-scroll. Then, I’d pass out into a dreamless sleep from sheer exhaustion.

And then the next morning, I’d get up and do it all again. Over-functioning. Holding it together on the outside. Dismissing my body’s signals. Collapsing in private once the performance was over.

It’s a pattern so many of us live without even realising it. New research we’re working on shows that one in two people are quietly cracking - masking exhaustion, anxiety, and overwhelm behind a carefully composed “I’m fine.”

It makes me wonder: on whose terms are we holding it all together? For whose benefit are we perfecting the mask?

And what if, when we were little, someone told us the truth - that we’re perfectly imperfect, just like everyone else? That we don’t have to earn our place in the world by holding it all together?

As we continue celebrating the launch of our children’s version of The Perfectly Imperfect Little Girl, we’ve recorded a short 5-minute video and podcast series that pairs each evidence-based a-ha moment from the story with a somatic practice designed to help you reconnect with your inner child, or to explore together with a little one in your life.

If you’d like to grab a copy for a young person in your life, just click the button below:

Be sure to join us in the somatic practice of Breathe In Love to remind yourself pretending to be perfect is never worth the cost. Just click the video below to get started.

If you’re someone who works with or cares for children, register your interest for our parent and educator’s pack filled with tools to help you bring these messages to the next generation.

Please note: We are mindful that 'girl' and 'woman' are socially constructed ideas of gender that can fall painfully short of defining the fabulous complexity of who we each are. If these words resonate with part of how you have previously or currently identified yourself, we'd love to hear about your lived experiences.

Want More?

📊 MEASURE YOUR ‘GOOD GIRL’ CONDITIONING

The Good Girl Mindset Survey can help you uncover how society’s ‘good girl’ expectations are impacting your wellbeing. In just a few minutes, you’ll get personalized insights that reveal where you’re thriving, where you’re holding back, and what you can do next to break free. Take the survey now.📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS

If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now.

💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU

Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

In this episode, we explore why silencing our emotions is never worth the cost.

[0.42] Chelle reads the storybook [1.12] Evie shares the tool, Accessing Self[3.00] Outro

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

In this episode, we explore the question: When, where and with who, did you start believing your looks determined your worth?

[0.42] Chelle reads the storybook [1.12] Evie shares the tool, Wood Choppers Breath. [3.14] Outro

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

Do you find yourself feeling increasingly isolated despite being surrounded by people? How many opportunities for connection do you miss each day? What if the antidote to our social disconnection was as simple as pausing to notice the humanity in the stranger beside you?

[02:02] Mo shares her concept of "rewilding" instead of retiring in her 70s.

[07:38] Chelle and Mo discuss how they began huddling together when she moved to Toronto.

[11:59] Mo introduces the concept of a "conversation of possibility".

[19:09] Mo shares four prompts for starting conversations of possibility.

[25:16] Mo introduces her TIP acronym for handling conversations that don't go as planned. [32:07] Mo and Chelle discuss how conversations of possibility can help bridge differences in society. [36:17] Mo shares her "mo-ism" about never seeing the sunrise if you're always facing west.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

When you micromanage your team, do you explain it away as your "controlling part" without making amends? When you snap at a friend, do you blame it on your "defensive part" and move on? Or do you find ways to both honor these parts of you while taking responsibility for how they affect others?

[02:47] Chelle shares ah-ha #1 about Gabby's four-step check-in process for connecting with parts[10.21] Evie explains the "Notice, Know, Need" to help you get to know your parts better.

[19:50] Chelle shares ah-ha #2 about Gabby's important reminder that we need to take accountability for our parts while honoring them

[29:57] Evie introduces the "Speak, Reflect, Repair" tool to make it easier to take accountability for our parts when we huddle together.

[35:51] Chelle shares ah-ha #3 and Gabby's caution about Self-like parts that can cause a spiritual bypass.[41:55] Evie provides a simple checklist to perform a Self-Signal Check In to check our Self-Energy is truly present[45:54] Chelle recaps the key ahas and tools from the podcast [47:22] Post-show reflection

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

Next time you're triggered try this

LISTEN NOW: 4 steps to turn reactivity into thoughtful responses

When was the last time you felt stretched so thin you could snap? Maybe someone dismissed your hard work with a casual criticism? Or perhaps one tiny detail fell through and suddenly you heard yourself unleashing a torrent of blame that didn't even sound like you?

[0:52]: Chelle provides a quick recap of Internal Family Systems for listeners

[4:11]: Gabby explains how protection mechanisms like perfectionism and control develop as survival strategies in childhood.

[7:34]: Gabby demonstrates her four-step check-in process for managing triggered parts in real-time.

[10:42]: Gabby describes how leading from self-energy allows for clear, compassionate communication and strong professional boundaries.

[13:58]: Gabby emphasizes the importance of repair and accountability when parts are still healing.

[15:20]: Gabby reminds listeners that we always have a choice in how we show up after being triggered.

[16:16]: Gabby explains how spiritual practices can become a protection mechanism that bypasses genuine inner healing.

[19:11]: Michelle's post-show reflections

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

When was the last time you felt tempted to walk away from someone in your community who thinks differently than you? Maybe they have opposing political views, communicate in ways that frustrate you, or prioritize values that don't align with yours. In a world that feels increasingly polarized, it's tempting to believe that drawing hard lines and protecting our territory is the only way forward.

[2:09] Chelle recaps Episode 13 with Sophia Fifner, President/CEO of Columbus Metropolitan Club who drives bold conversations and strengthens civic communities.

[4:03] Chelle shares ah-ha #1 on Sophia's insight that activism is not always loud.

[7:30] Evie explains 'Uniquely You' tool - Paths to Change - exploring different activism styles from community building to rest advocacy.

[17:29] Chelle shares ah-ha #2 on Sophia's LEAD framework for civic engagement: Learn, Engage, Act, and Develop community.

[21:01] Evie outlines 'Uniquely You' tool - Find Your SPARK - identifying your Strengths, Passion, Approach, Resources, and Knowledge gaps for civic engagement.

[25:24] Chelle shares ah-ha #3 on building bridges rather than burning them, especially with those who have different perspectives.

[29:07] Chelleguides through the 'Uniquely You' tool - Compassion Bench Practice - an exercise to build bridges with those we disagree with.

[43:54] Chelle summarizes the three ah-has and tools.

[44:56] Behind-the-scenes conversation between Chelle and Evie.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

In a world that often pits women against each other, this workshop offered a radical alternative: women huddling together, uplifting one another.

A huddle is a space where women energize each other simply by being together—where competition softens into collaboration, isolation turns into connection, and individual challenges are met with collective strength.

In this evidence-based session, we explored how to:

✨ Ground & gather – Clear your energy before entering a huddle so you can show up grounded and fully yourself.

✨ Ask extraordinary questions – Turn everyday questions into ones that invite deeper reflection and connection. Even small tweaks can spark big shifts in how women share and relate to one another.

✨ Navigate differences – Move beyond people-pleasing with communication that honors your truth and respects others’ perspectives.

✨ Make it sustainable – Build small, consistent habits that help your huddle grow and evolve.

Whether it’s a mastermind, a circle of friends, or a local community—this session reminded us that huddles can be sacred spaces where women bear witness for each other and co-create real, lasting change.

Grab you guide below with twelve beautiful, evidence-based tools to help you huddle better together.

Please note: We are mindful that 'girl' and 'woman' are socially constructed ideas of gender that can fall painfully short of defining the fabulous complexity of who we each are. If these words resonate with part of how you have previously or currently identified yourself, we'd love to hear about your lived experiences.

Want more?

📊 MEASURE YOUR ‘GOOD GIRL’ CONDITIONING

The Good Girl Mindset Survey can help you uncover how society’s ‘good girl’ expectations are impacting your wellbeing. In just a few minutes, you’ll get personalized insights that reveal where you’re thriving, where you’re holding back, and what you can do next to break free. Take the survey now.📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS

If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now.

💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU

Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

Do you feel called to make a difference but unsure where to begin? Have you held back from getting involved with community groups because you don’t fit the loud, outspoken image of what an “activist” is supposed to be? In a world that feels increasingly fractured, finding authentic ways to engage has never mattered more.[0:02] Chelle introduces Sophia Fifner, author of The Advocate Next Door and president and CEO of the Columbus Metropolitan Club.

[2:15] Sophia shares a"uniquely you" moment.

[5:24] Sophia explains what fuels her work - her personal experience as a survivor of sexual abuse and assault, and how becoming a mother to her daughter Caroline ignited her passion for advocacy.

[9:12] Chelle and Sophia discuss why women often don't feel it's okay to raise their voices or ask for help in their communities.

[15:41] Sophia introduces the LEAD framework for civic engagement: Learn, Engage, Act, and Develop community.

[18:29] Sophia shares her advice on where to start looking for community groups to join.

[22:22] Chelle and Sophia discuss getting clear on your goals for civic engagement.

[28:32] Chelle and Sophia discuss how to respectfully disengage from community groups or relationships that have run their course.

[35:44] Chelle explains the concept of "compassion bias" and strategies for overcoming it.

[38:43] Sophia's final message encouraging listeners to take action in their communities, accepting that civic wellness is a marathon, not a sprint.

[40:51] Post-show discussion between Chelle and Evie.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com

How are you showing up in your most important relationships? We all have moments where the people we love the most get the worst version of us. Why? Because when things feel hard, our protective parts often leap into action.

[1:59] Chelle recaps Episode 11 with Anna Milaeva, certified transformational coach and co-founder of FINO.

[3:23] Chelle shares ah-ha #1 on Anna's explanation of Internal Family Systems (IFS) as a model of human transformation and healing.

[6:35] Evie shares 'Uniquely You' tool - The Breath to Self - a gentle breathing technique to access self energy without forcing calm.

[16:10] Evie shares ah-ha #2 on how connecting with self energy gives us choice to act from love rather responding with fear and judgment.

[22:30] Chelle explains the 'Uniquely You' tool - Leading with Love - four ways to avoid judgment and choose compassion.

[31:45] Chelle shares ah-ha #3 on Anna's insight that compassion is a powerful force for connection.

[34:32] Evie outlines the 'Uniquely You' tool - The Repair Ritual - four steps to repair relationships after conflict.

[42:15] Chelle summarizes the three ah-has and tools, reinforcing how we can build supportive huddles by bringing more self energy to our relationships.

[46:01] Behind-the-scenes conversation between Chelle and Evie.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit michellemcquaid.substack.com