The Great Man Within

#212:

Join the Great Man Within Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

When you think of the epitome of the toughest guys in the world, you'd be hard pressed to find a more indestructible collection of men than the Navy SEALS…

The SEALS are widely believed to be the most elite special forces unit in the word, and for good reason.

When a class of 200 of our country's strongest and physically gifted men are whittled down to just 10 SEALS (as was the case in our guest's journey)…

…and when you have to endure 5 consecutive days of sleep deprivation while undergoing nonstop inhumane physical challenges designed to break you…

And yet you somehow still survive…you've earned your seat at the table as the world's toughest men.

So it might surprise you to learn that our guest today, a Navy Seal, has built his entire leadership methodology on the back of the one thing most men have been taught is our ultimate Achilles Heel: emotions.

As you know, Bryan and I are huge proponents of men learning emotional fluency, which is:

1. The ability to feel an emotion
2. The ability to name that emotion
3. The ability to be with that emotion (without reacting)
4. The ability to express the emotion
5. The ability to shift that emotion (if desired)

A leader who has mastered these key components of emotional fluency is levelheaded in crisis situations and trustworthy when the heat is on.

And our guest today, Errol Doebler, is here to teach you his 5 steps of how to master your emotions in leadership settings ranging from the combat field to the boardroom to your kitchen table.

Who is Errol Doebler?

• Navy SEAL and former FBI special agent, where he was honored with the FBI Shield of Bravery in 2010
• Errol is the CEO of a Leadership Training consultancy named Leader 193, where he provides individual and group coaching, corporate workshops and keynote speeches
• He is a certified trainer in the Wim Hof Method and is currently doing 365 days of ice baths at 36.5 degrees Farenheit
• Author of The Process, Art and Science of Leadership: How Leaders Inspire Confidence & Clarity in Combat in the Boardroom and in the Kitchen

In This Episode

• Errol's 5 step process for leading in the boardroom, on the combat field or at the kitchen table
• Errol takes us back to his Navy SEAL hell week training and how he used his emotional awareness to befriend his fear – versus suppress, deny or succumb to it – and conquer the training
• How great leaders create predictability in the emotional environments in which their teams operate
• How becoming aware of our own emotions allows us Jedi like insight into how the emotions of others are controlling their behavior

Contact Errol

Errol's Website: https://leader193.com Errol's Book: The Process, Art and Science of Leadership Errol on Instagram: Errol Doebler Free Leadership Workshop: https://leader193.com/free-leadership-workshop

#211:

If you've ever noticed that the voice in your head is sabotaging you, you're not alone. This is a conversation about what that voice is, why it never shuts up, and practical techniques on how to reduce it's influence (and intrusion) in your life.

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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Follow Dominick on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dominickq/?hl=en

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(Audio Course) Living from a Place of Surrender by Michael Singer: https://www.audible.com/pd/Living-from-a-Place-of-Surrender-Audiobook/1683645863

The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer: Click Here

The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer: Click Here

#210:

Back in December I invited 10 men of color from The Great Man Within community to a private zoom call where I posed 3 questions:

1. What has been your experience in this community as a learner, and as a man of color?
2. What would we need to build in this community that would make you enthusiastic to invite other men of color to join us?
3. What can I personally be doing better/differently/more of to make this an environment where every man can thrive?

That discussion opened a candid, and oftentimes uncomfortable, series of conversations that were illuminating and insightful.

In particular, I had a blind spot exposed regarding my awareness of what it's like for non-white men to walk into a community space designed by a white man and unconsciously mostly designed for other white men.

One of the suggestions the men of the group had was to the raise the visibility of men of color who were leaders in this community by bringing them on this podcast platform.

So that's exactly what we're doing today, to have the first of a series of uncomfortable conversations on race with two of our prominent leaders in this community:

marcus d harvey is an acting coach and EDI&B consultant, which stands for equity, diversity, inclusion and belonging

Jay Washington is a client relationship manager for a large financial services firm

If you've been in the Facebook Group you surely know who these gentlemen are and how vital their contributions have been to the growth and cohesion of our community.

In this episode, there are 4 terms marcus and Jay teach us that I highly encourage you to learn and commit to memory:

1. White Spaces
2. Power Sharing
3. Code Switching
4. White-splaining

One of the most important parts of the conversation comes in the last 15 minutes of the episode, when Jay introduces the importance of building the willingness and capability to see beyond your own life experience in order to understand and embrace the experience of someone who's not you.

And for our white audience, as you listen to this episode, you may find yourself getting triggered or uncomfortable. Instead of allowing your next reflex to be defensiveness or building an argument to disagree, instead ask yourself "what about this conversation is making me uncomfortable?" Explore that. Find the root, and learn something deeper about yourself.

By doing that, you may be able to see beyond your own life experience…and hear the wisdom of Jay and marcus on a much deeper level.

Resources:

marcus' example of a "white space" doing it right: https://www.spaceonryderfarm.org

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man with Emmanuel Acho (on YouTube)

Instagram Accounts to Follow:

marcus d. harvey: @themarcusdharvey Jay Washington: @dubber77 No White Saviors: @nowhitesaviors Emmanuel Acho: @emmanuelacho Rachel Cargle: @rachel.cargle Layla F. Saad: @laylafsaad

JOIN THE GREAT MAN WITHIN COMMUNITY

Join the Great Man Within Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Join the Great Man Within Digital Mastermind for as little as $99/month: https://the-great-man-within.mn.co/landing?from=https%3A%2F%2Fthe-great-man-within.mn.co%2Ffeed

#209:

Follow Dominick on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dominickq/?hl=en

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Join the Great Man Within Digital Mastermind: https://the-great-man-within.mn.co/landing?from=https%3A%2F%2Fthe-great-man-within.mn.co%2Ffeed

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If you want to attract strong masculine leaders into your life, then one of the most powerful practices I can offer is journaling about the traits and characteristics you seek.

In a recent journaling session, I identified 5 traits of strong masculine leaders that I seek to surround myself with.

Here's how I wrote them out in my journal:

1. I might hire a man who spends the first 20 minutes of his day in his inbox. But I would follow a man who spends the first 20 minutes of his day doing inner work.

1. The man who lets me get away with my bullshit might be easy to hang out with. But the man who calls me on my bullshit is the man I want to be in the foxhole with.

1. The well-read man carries information…but the well-practiced man carries wisdom.

1. I have compassion for the man who lives his life bouncing from one cell phone notification to another…but I have admiration for the man who sets a vision for his life and vigilantly defends his time and focus to ensure its execution.

1. I trust the man who surrounds himself with other men who tell him the truth about how he's showing up in his life.

#208:

The Great Man Within Digital Mastermind: https://www.doinnerwork.com/resources Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

In the book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, authors and Jungian Psychologists Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette expose a masculine problem of epic proportions.

"Where are the initiated men of power today?"

"We need to take very seriously the disappearance of ritual processes for initiating boys into manhood.

In the case of men, there are many who either had no initiation into manhood or who had pseudo-initiations that failed to evoke the needed transition into adulthood.

Therefore, we get the dominance of Boy psychology.

Boy psychology is everywhere around us, and its markers are easy to see. Among them are abusive and acting out behaviors against others, both men and women; passivity and weakness, the inability to act effectively and creatively in one's own life.

Because there is little or no ritual process in our society capable of boosting us from Boy psychology to Man psychology, we each must go on our own (with each other's help and support) to the deep sources of masculine energy potentials that lie within us all."

If you think about it, our initiation rituals into adulthood look something like a driver's license at 16/17 and the ability to drink at age 21.

These legal allowances do little to nothing in preparing boys for the responsibilities of adulthood.

That's why we've got so many little boys running around in men's bodies, fucking up relationships, businesses and governments.

This is one of the reasons why The Great Man Within community exists – to create the masculine rituals and rights of passages that we missed at the most pivotal times of our lives, so we can step more fully into our masculine potentials.

Today we're joined by an inspiring brother who, like me, found his calling to leave the corporate world and establish a community for men who want to do this work.

His name, is Voy Wiancek, and he is the founder of Modern Renassance Man.

Modern Renaissance Man is a community that empowers the modern man with the brotherhood and resources needed to lead with truth, integrity and style.

I learned about Voy through one of the men in our community, Colin Bye, and I've since joined MRM which has a $35/month membership fee.

I've had my first chance to attend one of their meetings, and this group of guys are passionate, energetic, committed to the work…and diverse.

If you've been seeking a community with a strong representation of men of color, MRM has got it going on.

In This Episode

• What a right of passage is, and why it's essential for unearthing your masculine potential
• Voy's right of passage experience that took him into the desert, all alone, with no food or shelter for 4 days
• Examples of masculine rituals – like Voy's "Sacred Six" morning ritual – that cultivate your masculine power, presence and leadership
• Rituals you can use in group settings in work or men's gatherings to create deep spaces for connection and exploration

RESOURCES

Modern Renaissance Man Website: https://themrmofficial.com Voy on Instagram: Voy_Official

#207:

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Join The Great Man Digital Mastermind: https://the-great-man-within.mn.co/landing?from=https%3A%2F%2Fthe-great-man-within.mn.co%2Ffeed

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This is the story about how I landed a $150,000 coaching client, in large part, by using the Walt Disney "Dreamer/Realist/Critic" process to DREAM BIGGER.

The Dreamer/Realist/Critic technique is incredible for dreaming bigger in your work, relationships and lifestyle design.

#206:

Today, I'm bringing you behind the scenes in my learning – or should I say un-learning process – in an area of my life where I'm woefully under-educated.

Back in November I hired my very first sex, LGBTQIA+ and Gender Studies coach, Cory Bush.

Why would I do such a thing you might ask?

Over the years, I started feeling a strong pull from my inner compass to answer some of these recurring questions:

• Why don't I have more gay friends?
• Why don't I know anyone who's transgender?
• What do I do about the shame I carry from making gay jokes when I was younger?
• How do I wrap my arms around the ever-evolving world of language of the LGBTQ+ community (like pronouns they/theirs/them, or what CIS gender means or what the difference is between biological sex, gender identity and gender presentation)
• How do I not let the fear of tripping over myself and offending someone prevent me from entering conversations and spaces where I'm the minority?

You might be wondering, "that's interesting, Dom, but what's the benefit of this type of inquiry?"

You know, I grew up with a sister who has special needs. I've witnessed, firsthand, up close and personal, the life experience of my sister Mary - someone who has been marginalized by our society. It can be brutal, lonesome and oppressing.

Juxtapose that with my experience as a straight, white, able bodied, affluent man…and my life experience has been one where I've been accepted nearly everywhere I go.

I carry no shame around that. I've been blessed, and privileged. And now I'm awakening to the understanding of how to use that privilege to hear the voices of those who are muffled and misunderstood…

…because just as my sister Mary has become one of my greatest spiritual teachers in the arenas of love, acceptance and patience…I am certain that the communities I've made very little active effort in engaging with up to this point can teach me a hell of a lot about life.

In the few short months of doing this work with Cory, I've already experienced a number of benefits, like:

• Educating myself areas where I've been ignorant
• Exposure to a dynamic world of diverse, talented and vibrant people whose stories are equally heartbreaking and inspiring
• Learning the language that honors and respects the LGBTQIA+ communities
• Learning how to receive corrections and criticism when I inadvertently trigger someone with my own ignorance
• Reducing shame

Wherever you are on your journey, I invite you to listen to this conversation closely. It's important.

And we have an excellent guide for our discussion today, Cory Bush, who will introduce herself in just a moment.

Enjoy today's episode on Lessons from my Sex, LGBTQIA+ and Gender Studies Coach feat. Cory Bush.

Follow/Work With Cory Bush

Cory's Instagram: @thesexpositivedoula Cory's Twitter: @thesexposdoula Cory's Website: https://www.thesexpositivedoula.com

Cory Bush's Downloadable Resources

33 Instagram Accounts to Follow: Download Here List of Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Terms: Access Here

Documentary Referenced in the Episode:

Disclosure Documentary on Netflix

#205:

You are one limiting belief away from the life you desire.

The only question is, do you know how to find that insidiously evil limiting belief and how to get rid of it?

I share a story today of how a limiting belief almost sabotaged me living the dream life I've created today…

…and how I obliterated it.

At the end of the episode, I'll give you a 3 step process to help you do the same for yourself.

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Special Event*: Q&A with Eric Maddox, the Interrogator who Caught Saddam Hussein

Interviewed in Episode #206 of The Great Man Within Podcast

*Event exclusively for members for The Great Man Digital Mastermind

When: February 17th

Time: 7:00-8:00pm ET

Details and registration here: https://the-great-man-within.mn.co/landing?from=https%3A%2F%2Fthe-great-man-within.mn.co%2Ffeed

#204:

Join our Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him."

- Head of US occupation in Iraq Paul Bremer

These were the words spoken by Paul Bremer, Head of US occupation in Iraq on December 13th, 2003…after the successful capture of one of the world's most elusive terrorists…Saddam Hussein.

But for the years leading up to that crucial moment in American and world history, America's special forces searched desperately for Saddam Hussein without luck.

Fortunes for the pursuit of intelligence to capture Saddam would change when a young and very green Army negotiator stepped off a plane to help.

This man's name is Eric Maddox, and he is our special guest on today's show. Upon his deployment, Eric quickly found the interrogation training he received in the military proved ineffective in the field…and so he developed his own strategy predicated on what he calls empathy based listening, the structure and details of which you'll hear him unpack on the show.

In this Episode: Eric retells the play-by-play story of the interrogations that led to Saddam Hussein's capture Eric has conducted over 2,700 interrogations in 25 countries around the world, and shares what he's learned about the most effective forms of listening in order to influence Eric has taken those skills and created a training program called Empathy Based Listening which he delivers via keynotes and corporate workshops to banking, insurance, wealth management, medical and non-for-profit industries…and he shares some of those powerful techniques with you today

Contact Eric Maddox for Speaking and Training

Website: https://ericmaddox.com

#203:

Details on The Great Man Mastermind: http://thegreatmanwithin.com

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Episode #87 of The Great Man Within Podcast: A Board of Directors for Your Emotions: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-great-man-within/id1449269930?i=1000470268087

What are the situations in your life where you lose your power?

How about:

• Being confronted by someone with different politics than you
• Being criticized, judged or ignored
• Having your partner, spouse or family member say that thing that triggers you

Chances are you don't show up at your best in those moments.

You may end up collapsing: disengaging, avoiding or exploding.

There are consequences (like exhaustion and shame) to showing up this way.

This is why you need to train for life's toughest moments.

In today's episode I give you 3 such training strategies:

1. Mindset shift: external to internal locus of control
2. The "Space Between" Visualization Technique (to anticipate future triggering situations)
3. The "Board of Directors for Your Emotions" Visualization Technique (to clean up messes after the fact)