The Great Man Within

#192:

You guys know that Bryan and I are passionate believers that drifting is the #1 enemy to living a powerful life.

Drift is that state of existence where you think you're in conscious control of the decisions you're making…but in actuality it's your unconscious beliefs, outdated habits and patterns that are piloting your plane…taking you to destinations you don't desire to go.

This is why you can have all sorts of success on paper, but have the experience of unfulfillment on the inside. That disconnect is a dead indicator of when you're drifting in life.

We've all been there before, some of you may be there now, and we'll all eventually find ourselves in that state of drift again at some point in the future.

But how long you stay stuck in drift is a choice.

You can just as easily choose to build the muscle to bring awareness to when you're in a state of drift, and to break free from it with speed and precision. And when you're able to do that consistently, you start to live a life of your own design…a life that you're inspired to live.

So today, we've got one powerful brother who's broken through drift time and time again…to create a life he loves living.

I'd like to introduce you my friend, Raj Jana.

Who is Raj Jana:

• Raj is an entrepreneur and investor who owns stakes in 9 companies
• He's been featured in Forbes, Inc, Entrepreneur and been personally mentored by Daymond John of Shark Tank fame
• He's also the host of the Stay Grounded podcast, a show featuring leaders on their inner work journeys
• Raj is the son of Indian Immigrants who came to this country with less than $60 in their pockets…so Raj wanted to make his parents proud by graduating college and landing a 6 figure job right out of school
• But something shifted for him when his corporate cubemate died of a heart attack 3 months before his retirement date…causing Raj to question how he was building his life

In This Episode

• How to turn yourself into the biggest horse in your life that you can bet on
• The #1 book that helped Raj break free from his conventional, predictable life
• How he turned his cubicle job with a side hustle into a multi-million dollar business
• How ending an 8 year relationship earlier this year exposed how he wasn't quite the man he needed to be attract the women he desired
• Why you have to be honest with yourself about who you are as a man today…and whether that man is up to the task of creating what you desire in business and in relationship
• How losing both his beloved grandmother and aunt to COVID within weeks of each other…and then contracting COVID himself…provided him with one of the most grueling but powerful opportunities to fully feel grief, growth and ultimately, gratitude
• 4 book recommendations to build a strong inner foundation

Raj's Info: Website: https://www.rajjana.com

Podcast: Stay Grounded

Recommended Episodes: Ep 148: How to Lead with Vulnerability and Step Into Healthy Masculinity with Dominick Quartuccio Ep: 149: Why Death is Our Greatest Teacher with Asher Packman Ep 151: Transforming Your Money Into a Source of Purpose, Peace and Power with Finnian Kelly

Books Referenced in the Show:

King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore 4 Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant You Are Enough by Panache Desai

#191:

Join 100+ Men for the 31-Day Mentally Tougher Man Challenge

• January 1-31
• Daily challenges emailed/texted to you
• 7 themes: meditation, cold showers, breathwork, pushups, reading, journaling, creating

Info & Registration Here: https://www.doinnerwork.com/resources

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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There's an old Cherokee story called The Tale of Two Wolves:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

He continued, "The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

The powerful lesson packed in this concise story is so very clear.

And yet, even though we are now equipped with the awareness of the "evil wolf" within us, why do we continue to feed it?

It's because you've made a deal with the devil which I explain in today's episode (which I believe to be one of our most important podcasts of 2020).

-DQ

#190:

Register for the (free) Mentally Tougher Man Challenge for January 2021: http://thegreatmanwithin.com

Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

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I'm pumped about today's episode about the 7 Habits of a Mentally Tough Man because it's also an invitation:

An invitation to join me, Bryan and a group of other Great Men from around the world to do our first ever Mentally Tougher Man Challenge.

Starting January 1st, 2021, and for each of the 31 days of that month, we will email and/or text you a daily challenge – drawn from these 7 habits – that will test and enhance your mental toughness.

In today's episode, Bryan and I outline each of the 7 habits – one for each day of the week – which you'll be performing in an effort to string together 31 consecutive days of wins…

…to help you build mental toughness habits and kickstart 2021 with power and intention.

For example, and spoiler alert…one of the challenges is a cold shower, which you'll be doing on January 1st, January 8th, January 15th and so on…

Another is meditation…which you'll be doing on January 2nd, January 9th, January 16th…you get the point.

As we see it, becoming a mentally and emotionally tougher man has 3 very clear benefits:

1. It gives you the ability to maintain your power and integrity in the worst of moments
2. It gives you the ability to turn any challenge into a training ground for improvement
3. It gives you the ability to go after bigger things in your life

With all that at stake, why would you not join us on this journey.

You'll also have built in accountability with the daily email and text support, as well as the community of men from around the world doing this challenge in our men's only Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Register now for this challenge at TheGreatManWithin.com…

…oh and it's free, as our gift to you to help you start 2021 strong.

-DQ

#189:

Napoleon Hill teaches us that: "Failure brings a climax in which one has the privilege of clearing his mind of fear and making a new start in another direction. Failure proves conclusively that something is wrong with one's aims or the plans by which the object of those aims is sought." (excerpt from: Outwitting the Devil).

Without failing, and failing in a big way, we often toil around in mediocrity.

Today DQ does a solo episode on how spectacular failures often are necessary pitstops on the way to living your greatness.

#188:

Join us for a free 90-minute workshop: Design the Next Year of Your Life (2021) When: Wednesday, December 16th, 2020 Time: 7:00PM ET to 8:30PM ET

**For Men Only** (Sorry to our amazing women listeners…sometimes there's inner work men need to do with other men!)

Register Here: https://www.doinnerwork.com/resources

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In This Episode:

• 8 key distinctions between how a Good Man views life…versus how a Great Man approaches life
• A 15 minute exercise that helps you do an inventory of your Standout Moments from 2020
• 2 key questions to ask yourself to help illuminate what you want for 2021
• How to choose "the one word" that guides your 2021

Well, here we are, nearing the end of one of the most important years in human history.

For the first time in humankind, our entire world was not only bound by a similar experience, but we also had the technology that allowed us to witness and communicate with other parts of the world going through the same thing.

In a strange sense, our collective hardship illuminated one truth we sometimes forget:

While we are different in many ways…we share one undeniable similarity: We are all human.

And hopefully we can remember that, as we look to evolve and improve upon our humanity in the new year ahead, 2021.

As is the case with anything, big improvements always start at the local level…

…and in this case, the local level is you.

So let's get you ready to live the most meaningful, fulfilling and prosperous year of your life in 2021.

Do you know what it would mean for you to have the most meaningful, fulfilling and prosperous year of your life?

What would that look like for you? What experiences would you want to have? What new level will you take your work and career? What relationships would you want to forge and deepen? What relationships would you want to leave behind?

These are big questions that most people don't give space or time to explore in an intentional way…

…which is why they drift from one year to the next without much changing.

You, on the other hand, are living the Great Man Within you, so you have bigger plans.

And today's episode on Designing the Next Year of Your Life is engineered to help you execute on those plans.

#187:

Register for Design the Next Year of Your Life 2021 (for men): TheGreatManWithin.com

Join the Men's Only Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

Books Referenced:

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia

The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida

Why Men Seldom Succeed Before Age 40

Napoleon Hill had a theory that men seldom succeeded before the age of 40 because they dissipated their energy through over-indulgence of sex.

Here are some excerpts on his thinking as written in Think and Grow Rich:

"I discovered, from the analysis of over 25,000 people, that men who succeed in an outstanding way, seldom do so before the age of forty."

"This study disclosed the fact that the major reason why the majority of men who succeed do not begin to do so before the age of forty to fifty, is their tendency to dissipate their energies through the over-indulgence in physical expression of the emotion of sex."

"The majority of men never learn that the urge of sex has other possibilities, which far transcend mere physical expression."

Here's my take:

From my studies on sexual energy – leaning on the likes of Mantak Chia and David Deida – it's not so much about the over-indulgence in sex, rather it's the over-indulgence of ejaculation.

As these teachers espouse, ejaculation is the releasing of vital life force that could otherwise be transmuted into love, creativity and the driving force behind your purpose.

As Deida says in his book The Enlightened Sex Manual:

"One of the main effects of too-frequent ejaculation us a very subtle spiritual dullness."

I can't help but agree with aspects of all of these teachings.

As a man who spent most of his live over-indulging in sexual pursuits and ejaculating far too often, I felt that spiritual dullness and dilution of my life force.

In fact, it was during an 11-month abstinence period from sex, masturbation and ejaculation when I decided to change my entire life – leaving a 15-year career in corporate to live my life's mission of helping men achieve their potential.

All that extra non-ejaculated energy needed somewhere to go…so here I am.

If this is speaking to you, I encourage you to listen to today's episode of The Great Man Within Podcast.

-DQ

#186:

One of my favorite books of 2020 – and now one of my favorites of all time – is Glennon Doyle's book Untamed.

It's a book written for women so most men will never pick it up, which in my mind is a tragedy, because so much of it speaks to the inner power that we all have that goes untapped…because we're afraid of what comes with that power.

The opening story takes place with Glennon taking her daughter Tish to the zoo to see a cheetah named Tabitha.

After a few minutes of observing the cheetah, Glennon's daughter Tish asks the zookeeper "Isn't Tabitha sad…doesn't she miss the wild?"

The zookeeper replies "No Tabitha was born here, she doesn't know any different. She's never even seen the wild. This is a good life for Tabitha. She's much safer here than she would be in the wild."

The zookeeper's quote landed like a gut punch:

Suddenly, I felt like Tabitha – the caged Cheetah – behind a wall of invisible bars and assimilated to living a life of safety, as defined by someone other than me.

How can I, or how can you, ever feel the full force of your power and strength…when that strength is behind bars?

I suppose if the #1 game you want to play in life is one of safety, then your metaphorical zoo is a great place to live. The bars certainly keep other predators out.

But I'm here to live the Great Man Within Me. The Great Man doesn't do bars.

One of the Great Man's greatest allies is the Wild Man, the primitive, untamed part of ourselves that gets locked up at an early age and for many men, never resurfaces ever again.

You know you've felt your Wild Man calling if:

• You've ever loved your life…but deep down felt restless and unsatisfied
• You've felt a calling to break free from societal norms and civilization…even if you don't exactly know what that looks liek
• You've ever wanted to burn down everything in your life and start over

I know all of these feelings…and I'm tired of stalking the periphery of my life, feeling discontent (which is a line from Glennon Doyle's book).

If you've ever felt the same, then this episode of Awakening the Wild Man Within You is right up your alley.

Our guide for today's discussion is the filmmaker, Ian MacKenzie.

Who is Ian MacKenzie?

• Ian is a filmmaker, writer, speaker, and documentarian who looks at the edges of culture and explores what those edges can bring back to the rest of humanity
• He's best known for his films Sacred Economics, Lost Nation Road, Amplify Her, Dear Guardians, and Occupy Love
• He's also the host of The Mythic Masculine podcast, a show exploring the mytho-poetic men's movement

In today's Episode:

• How we as men lose the "original joy" of being boys, and most of us never reclaim it
• The difference between a savage man (dangerous) and a Wild Man (powerful)
• What happens to our life force over time when we cage up our Wild Man and lock away the key
• How to reconnect with the Wild Man and let him out responsibly
• What that "white hot rage" is that you feel inside of you, and what to do with it
• Why "soft men" emerge when they lock away their Wild Men, and why women become frustrated with these men
• One book recommendation to help you unleash your inner Wild Man

Ian's Resources

Ian's Website: https://www.ianmack.com Ian's Podcast: The Mythic Masculine Ian's Film: Love School

Books Referenced

Untamed by Glennon Doyle Iron John by Robert Bly Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes Dancing in the Flames by Marian Woodman

#185:

Register for Design the Next Year of Your Life 2021: http://thegreatmanwithin.com

Join the men's only Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin

If you are new to the "inner work" space…

…you must beware of the potent side effects of doing inner work, including but not limited to:

• Disenchantment with a safe and predictable life
• A budding desire for adventure, freedom and forging a life of purpose
• Rebellion against the invisible shackles keeping your life small
• Euthanizing of the "Mr Nice Guy"
• Reclamation of the Inner Wild Man
• The audacity to dream bigger than what others believe possible
• Bringing conscious endings to that which no longer serve you
• Declaring new beginnings that both electrify and frighten you
• Standing tall for something in this world
• Living a lifetime of meaning and fulfillment

Listen closely to this short episode, to see if you are the type of man who is ready and willing to accept these consequences. ;-)

-DQ

#184:

In my 20s, I went out on a first date with a woman who asked me a question I'd never been posed before:

"How would you handle being with a woman who made more money than you?"

To highlight how un-woke I was at the time, I was caught flat-footed and without words because in all honesty:

The thought had never crossed my mind.

Part of that was because I was in financial services, in a big job and making more money than most people I knew…especially people my age.

But on a deeper, subconscious level, I'd always just assumed that I would be the breadwinner in any romantic relationship.

Not just assumed it, I felt it was my duty – my obligation.

And then I started to wonder "where the hell did that belief come from?"

Fairly quickly I came up with some answers:

• My father was the breadwinner in our family while my mother made the choice to stay at home
• Every movie or tv show I'd ever seen portrayed a man's role as financial provider as essential to his masculinity
• Every movie or tv show I'd ever seen where a man didn't make money, he was portrayed as less than a man (he was fumbling through life, women didn't want him, other men ridiculed him)

And yet, in real life, I was surrounded by amazing female friends, bosses and coworkers who were crushing it financially. How had I failed to see this? How had I failed to upgrade my operating system?

This wake-up call from my date kickstarted an inquiry into my beliefs around money and how those beliefs had shaped my masculine identity.

It made me think back to previous dinner dates where my date picked up the check, and I would feel a wave of blood rush to my face – preempting the oncoming humiliation – of being witnessed by everyone else at the restaurant as a man who couldn't pay the tab for his woman.

I knew this thinking was antiquated, but it was so deeply ingrained in my DNA that I couldn't override the feelings of shame that would accompany the situation.

I've come a long way these last 15 years in unraveling that unconscious programming. Even though I'm still the one picking up most of the dinner tabs, I love it when a date offers to treat me. I genuinely experience it as a gift, and I enjoy it if other people witness her gesture of kindness.

Today, I lead deep inner work discussions with both men's and women's groups alike, exposing blind spots of our unconscious programming – like money and masculinity – that prevent us from connecting with one another…and from feeling that deep sense of inner security that we all crave.

So today, I'm bringing on a very special guest - and financial expert - who has a bird's eye view of how unconscious masculine belief systems play out in money and relationship matters:

My dear friend Teri Kelley.

Who is Teri Kelley

• Teri is a Senior Vice President and Financial Advisor at Morgan Stanley
• Earlier this year, she was named by Forbes as one of the Top-10 women wealth advisors in the state of Arizona
• In 2019, Teri hired me to do 4 months of deep, intensive coaching after suffering a massive panic attack after burning herself out…so we worked on breaking her free from drift and taking back her life on her terms
• Through that, we developed a deep bond and friendship that gets stronger by this day
• In her work as a financial advisor, she oversees clients with assets ranging from $2m to $30m…and has a unique perspective in how unconscious gender dynamics play out in some not so great ways when it comes to money

In this Episode

• Why so many male/female relationships fail – or experience untenable tension – when the woman earns more
• You'll explore whether your self-identity requires you to be the financial provider in your romantic relationship…or if you're ok with being a partner that provides in non-financial ways
• What happens when couples don't reckon with these unconscious gender roles when it comes to financial dynamics
• Why you still may feel emasculated when your partner makes more than you, even when you know better, and how to upgrade that
• Teri also addresses the question of "how do I know when I should hire a financial advisor vs. going at it on my own?"

Resources:

The Automatic Millionaire by David Bach: https://amzn.to/36VUeJI

#183:

It takes balls to be the first man to step away from your group of friends (or family) to embark upon the inner work journey.

As a leader of men, I have a bird's eye view of how men take their first steps on the path of inner work.

For the majority of us, step #1 is mounting the courage to break from your existing social structures, as most of your friends or family won't understand.

This takes courage.

You're breaking an unspoken contract that you have in place with them about "how we operate."

When you break that contract, you will meet resistance:

• You've found a calling to demand more for yourself…and they're happy preserving the status quo.

• You're questioning everything you've been taught…and they don't seem to see the point.

• You're stepping off the beaten path…and they try to pull you back in the box.

They aren't bad people because of this.

Hell, you're the one breaking the contract and shaking up their sense of equilibrium.

Don't be surprised if they resist and try to pull you back, it comes with the territory.

Think of it as a rite of passage.

If you expect inner work to be easy, then you're traveling the wrong path, my friend.

In the long run, overcoming this resistance will make you stronger.

Don't worry, there will come a time to head back and invite those you left behind to adventure with you.

Some will join you. Others won't.

It's your job to respect these people and their choices.

After all, you were once one of them, and they helped bring you to this point.

And now, I tip my cap to you.

The man who found the courage to liberate himself.

-DQ