The Grow Your Salon Fast Show

Sensitive Snowflakes, Baby Boomers, Entitled Generations, The Government, Aliens, and Dead Elvises. They're the reason your salon is not as successful as it could be. Right? Hmmmmm...

We take a look at how you can cream it despite all that shit.

Vegard is careless with his codes and loses money. Meanwhile Kat sees "two of everything". We bust the myth of the laptop lifestyle, show you why you'll never sell a pork sausage to a vegetarian, and reveal what marketing isn't.

Convenience is an underestimated motivator, as Kat has found out in her exile Downunder. She's turned into Princess Bitch rather than Queen Bitch, and discovers that open fires are not romantic. In this episode we reveal how to implement Cialdini's 6 Principles of Human Influence into your marketing, so you can be more persuasive. In a moral, ethical and legal way of course...

In a revenge move, Vegard dumps Kat for a more muscular co-host. Phil the C***, an expert in weight loss and fitness. Why? Well to run a successful business you also need to look after yourself. So Vegard and Phil reveal what you can do to ease repetitive strain, how to balance your posture, how to do resistance training without ending up looking like a bull on steroids, why you don't want the skinny-fat runner's body, and why you don't have to live in the gym to be fit and healthy. They also show you all that stands between you and a pain-free life are your bullshit excuses (and how to get rid of them). But wait there's more: how and what to eat when in a hurry, the 30-second, super-healthy balanced meal, AND the one, scary secret to sticking to your diet and training regime (and what underwear's got to do with it).

Kat takes a flight on the vomit comet, hosts a toxic pathogen, gets insulted by a pharmacist, and gets looked after by her mum. Meanwhile Vegard discovers cardio is a waste of time, looks back to when he first increased his prices, and gets out on his bike. And you get to discover how your own beliefs around money influence your prices more than you realise. And of course we show you what to do about it, so you're not giving yourself a self-inflicted wound.

We're back with Kat's pussies and Vegard's cock, and Vegard reveals an uncomfortable truth about his neighbour. We talk about The Hustle, Crushing It, the laptop lifestyle and attracting a meteorite to destroy your house with the act of collective consciousness. And then we expose the bullshit and tell you not everything is possible, and you can't be anything you want to be so suck it up buttercup. Oh, and then we talk about success, and how to really do it.

Kat has a story about summer in the desert, and why the human species loves a story. We talk about getting your personality into the hands of your prospects, and how to make yourself more fucking interesting. It's simple but may require some work, but don't worry, we'll make it painless.

The salon down the road is undercutting everyone and the natives are up in arms about them defying regulations. What can you do to protect your salon from the discounting demons? We talk about something no one seems to be doing but why you should, to have a guaranteed income each month. And what Netflix, Amazon, the gym, and bakeries have in common.

Keeping your herd loyal is a simple as not being indifferent. We go deep into how to be relentless, how to follow-up clients without being a pest, what clients want to see from you, and how to make them salivating, raving fans. Oh and there is a lot of talk about Cocks and Pussies.

Five of the most common mistakes salon owners make on their website are revealed, and why this pushes potential clients away. Don't fret, we also show you what you can do to pull them back, and how one of the most expensive tools you will probably buy needs to work for you.