The Hake Report

Water bends on Earth. Elephant seals on tariffed island! Air traffic controller arrested! Reddit bros blame themselves when she's wrong!

The Hake Report, Thursday, April 3, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start

* (0:03:10) Ball Earth

* (0:04:53) Hey, guys!

* (0:06:53) JAMES, CT, 1st: Nick? Ye. Charlemagne.

* (0:20:35) News… Elephant Seals

* (0:25:49) 3K killed … Richter scale

* (0:32:34) RIP Azzmador

* (0:33:22) Heather McDonald fell

* (0:37:15) Robert, KS… FE baiting

* (0:51:30) Coffees…

* (0:54:03) Reagan air traffic controller arrested

* (0:59:28) Ladies at the Skimm: Liberation Day

* (1:02:24) Sickness propaganda

* (1:11:36) The ladies are scared

* (1:20:22) Reddit bros blaming themselves

* (1:27:16) She divorced him over glass by the sink

* (1:34:29) Plus sized past

* (1:40:27) Harry Sisson, chad betrayed by friends

* (1:45:35) TERRI, OR: fat exes, having a type

* (1:54:04) Bright Lights - "Without Your Love" - 2014, Summer Fire

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/4/3/the-hake-report-thu-4-3-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/4/3/hake-news-thu-4-3-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

RIP Val Kilmer! Man engaged to a woman talking about breaking up! Fat, liberal, low-T society!

The Hake Report, Wednesday, April 2, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start

* (0:00:49) Val Kilmer died!

* (0:04:09) Andrew Jackson or Harriet Tubman?

* (0:09:44) Fave acting: Doc Holliday …

* (0:12:40) HEY GUYS! Blue collar

* (0:15:37) DEMETRI, Estonia, 1st: Postponed wedding 2x

* (0:33:00) DEMETRI: Russians, Estonia female politician

* (0:36:40) DEMETRI: Fiancée spills the peas, break-up talk, 1 Cor 7: 32-34

* (0:50:19) DEMETRI: Kingdom of Heaven: not dressed properly

* (0:54:34) Coffee: Dr. Detroit!

* (0:55:37) Val Kilmer lips, Batman, etc.

* (1:00:36) RICHARD, NC: Pneumonia; Tariffs, Oil Futures; WI libs; Trump admin

* (1:11:59) MEADE, VA: Fat acceptance vs anti-obesity SJW right-wingers; CHM

* (1:19:58) Rumble Rant: Val Kilmer, The Saint, Gary Oldman

* (1:22:43) Coffee: Yung Joc, "It's Goin' Down"

* (1:24:15) news… Mexico’s childhood obesity… Connection with gorilla

* (1:35:18) JAIME, MN: Low T… Sups… Frankincense and Myrrh

* (1:47:45) RICK, VA: Govt waste, raise debt, keep spending; Wisc

* (1:53:47) Bright Lights - "Dreamanow" - 2016, Dreams of Where You Came From

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/4/2/the-hake-report-wed-4-2-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/4/2/hake-news-wed-4-2-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

WI and FL elections. Calls support gym bros. TN black Rep Justin Pearson and KY U.S. Rep Thomas Massie: Showboaters? Fun calls?

The Hake Report, Tuesday, April 1, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start

* (0:02:39) MS-13 or not?

* (0:05:28) Hey, guys!

* (0:08:36) News… Tariffs

* (0:10:43) Wisconsin, Florida elections

* (0:14:29) Cory Booker yappin'

* (0:17:48) ALEX, CA: Attack on gym bros by libs

* (0:27:02) JAIME, MN: Supps, Vitamins; Jesus fragrant oils

* (0:39:36) CARL, MA: Irish slavery?

* (0:44:28) DLive: Frankincense

* (0:50:26) Coffee / Bigg Bump

* (0:53:16) Coffee / Justin Pearson

* (1:03:18) Coffees… John Adams.

* (1:08:00) Ron Paul, Thomas Massie

* (1:11:53) CARL: Trump, Massie, George Floyd

* (1:19:33) ROBERT, KS: Ross Perot!

* (1:28:00) Matt Gaetz out

* (1:29:45) CHUCK, Detroit: black people

* (1:51:15) Closing: Call me tomorrow!

* (1:52:02) Jon Parfitt / Bright Lights - Edgy Summer Pop Rock

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/4/1/the-hake-report-tue-4-1-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/4/1/hake-news-tue-4-1-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network:JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

A Trump third term? Obama birtherism? Bros under attack, promoting fitness! Exodus: Fairy tale or history? Poor Egypt!

The Hake Report, Monday, March 31, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start

* (0:03:43) Spotify knocked my music

* (0:06:59) Hey, guys!

* (0:08:41) News… Amber Ruffin nixed

* (0:11:36) More news… Myanmar earthquake, Trump 3rd term?

* (0:20:30) ROBERT, KS: Myanmar, William Cohen, weather

* (0:31:44) JEFF, LA: Trump third term… Earth's system…

* (0:37:37) RONNIE, OH, 3rd term: Andy Ogles, anti-Obama beta?

* (0:52:28) RONNIE: Gerrymandering and immigration

* (0:55:54) Coffee: Hake music

* (0:57:15) Rumble Rant… Obama, Biden, presidencies overturned

* (0:58:58) Arpaio

* (1:01:50) Police suicide in Houston

* (1:07:21) Bros under attack… fitness inspiration per CNN

* (1:19:38) DANIEL, TX: Exodus is suspect…

* (1:32:01) DANIEL: Statue reconstruction act: Lee statue

* (1:33:28) Rumble Rant: Trump 3rd term

* (1:33:40) ALLEN, MI: Weather weapons

* (1:36:36) ALLEN: Jewish people, south Chicago, beliefs, hate

* (1:45:56) ANTHONY, SoCal: Not necessarily meant to be historical

* (1:51:01) Bright Lights - "Without Your Love" - 2014, Summer Fire

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/3/31/the-hake-report-mon-3-31-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/3/31/hake-news-mon-3-31-25-QbKDo

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

Do you respect the veterans? Selena's killer fan, denied parole! Fentanyl victimhood. Is there a cause for anger, per Jesus?

The Hake Report, Friday, March 28, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Rough Start … Myanmar quake

* (0:04:22) Disloyal Trump voter employees

* (0:09:46) Trump vs Smithsonian, Collective Bargaining

* (0:14:21) Selena (RIP) vs Yolanda

* (0:21:53) Christians made feminism and did Jesus

* (0:22:45) DENNIS, NJ: Respect soldiers

* (0:26:01) DENNIS: Fentanyl, George Floyd, Borders, victimhood

* (0:33:30) DENNIS: George Floyd arrest

* (0:43:30) RONNIE, OH: Joy Reid, War of 1812

* (0:45:49) RONNIE: Psalm 22, My God… why have you forsaken me?

* (0:51:56) Isaiah 30: 15

* (0:53:52) WILLIAM 7, CA: Veteran, Gulf War, trigger discipline

* (1:00:23) WILLIAM 7: War vs Christianity

* (1:03:39) WILLIAM: Anger without cause?

* (1:11:45) Rumble Rant: Fentanyl fact checks…

* (1:13:28) Coffees: California wildfires mess

* (1:24:08) Coffees: Go to the meetings?

* (1:26:21) JEFF, LA: Respect the veterans

* (1:34:05) MGK 34, Megan Fox, 38

* (1:39:34) Chinese glacier shrinking fast!

* (1:45:51) MICHAEL, Canada: French malfeasance, ince

* (1:49:01) Andy Lau - 沒有人可以像你, Mei You Ren Ke Yi Xiang Ni, "No one can be like you" - 1994, Tian Yi

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/3/28/the-hake-report-fri-3-28-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/3/28/hake-news-fri-3-28-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

Bullfighting: Savage. Interesting calls on health. Anti-2A news. Chemtrails? What truth Trump exposes…

The Hake Report, Thursday, March 27, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start: Shoutout to the Internet

* (0:03:41) Yemen group chat drama: CNN

* (0:07:01) Newsflash! Covid is over! … more on Internet

* (0:10:32) Hey, guys! Hake tee, Cameos

* (0:13:35) ALEX, CA: Bullfighting savagery

* (0:16:54) ALEX: George Foreman died young; brain health

* (0:25:10) DAVID, TX: Art; Covid, LA Times owner

* (0:35:50) Supers… email; Greggatron

* (0:40:44) Ghost guns: Supreme Court 7-2 against 2A

* (0:54:35) ROBERT, KS: Armorer

* (0:59:29) ROBERT: Geoengineering, will Trump admit contrails?

* (1:05:15) ROBERT: Longevity, XX vs XY, men vs women

* (1:08:49) CARL, Boston: JFK? Bad phone?

* (1:09:29) ARDENE, CO: Medical MJ, meds mixing supps, affecting body

* (1:22:28) Rumble Rant: 4H kids; FE; JFTV

* (1:25:40) Punchie.TV, Jim in AK, 2A

* (1:26:49) CARL, MA: Pharma

* (1:30:24) CARL: Metals in the sky? 9/11, JFK? Oct 7…

* (1:33:54) CARL: Trump vs neo-Marxists

* (1:37:39) ALLEN, MI: ATF?!... Biblical war: Dividing the spoils

* (1:42:31) ANTHONY, SoCal: Houthi sarkha; Media; 3rd Rail Omar, USA

* (1:48:45) ANTHONY: Ancient Egyptians and the Bible

* (1:50:46) 16 Horsepower - "American Wheeze" - 1996, Sackcloth 'n' Ashes

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/3/27/the-hake-report-thu-3-27-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/3/27/hake-news-thu-3-27-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network:JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

Gaza Palestinians protest Hamas! Children SHOULD do hard labor! RIP George Foreman: Schmaxxed? Lifespan of the big and strong?

The Hake Report, Wednesday, March 26, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start

* (0:01:28) Illegal discomfort, "child labor"

* (0:06:18) Hey, guys!

* (0:08:14) News: South Korea wildfires

* (0:13:59) Gaza protests and war

* (0:31:14) Illegal voter suppression

* (0:42:18) Women rarely lie; Snake pit stereotypes; More on illegals/

* (0:48:08) Child labor laws in FL

* (0:59:43) Coffee: Ark found by remote viewing CIA

* (1:10:06) Ivanka Trump fights Jiu Jitsu

* (1:15:22) George Foreman died, promoted Schmax: AJ

* (1:28:04) ROBERT, KS: Efficiency for life

* (1:30:14) ROBERT: Psychic stuff?

* (1:32:36) ROBERT: FE vs curve math

* (1:39:24) MEADE, VA: Bodybuilders

* (1:44:06) MEADE: 19yo w 14yo: S— before marriage … being fit

* (1:46:09) Coffee: Ark stories … artifacts

* (1:50:13) Okay - "Hungry" - 2002, High Road, Absolutely Kosher Records

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/3/26/the-hake-report-wed-3-26-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/3/26/hake-news-wed-3-26-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

Trump decries distorted portrait. Yemen group chat? 🤷‍♂️ RIP Murphy the Bald Eagle. Israelis going to jail refusing to fight!

The Hake Report, Tuesday, March 25, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start

* (0:01:45) Trump portrait; Group chat; "children"

* (0:07:50) Hey, guys!

* (0:11:29) Bad portrait

* (0:16:51) Yemen group chat

* (0:24:30) Pulled security clearances … Lame-o judge vs deportations

* (0:49:48) Coffee: Sion, Georgia, Ethiopia

* (0:54:57) Coffee: Joel Friday TV vs Pete the turtle

* (1:04:15) CNN promoting this guy…

* (1:04:42) Murphy the Bald Eagle, emasculated by women, RIP

* (1:12:55) Refuseniks in Israel — "conscientious objectors"

* (1:25:00) Children is an emotional word

* (1:26:25) DANIEL, TX: Who was the Pharaoh of Exodus? Don't buy it!

* (1:43:23) ALLEN, MI: JLP tees; Exodus history

* (1:49:00) Trail of Dead - "Days of Being Wild" - 2002, Source Tags and Codes

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/3/25/the-hake-report-tue-3-25-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/3/25/hake-news-tue-3-25-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

The Hake Report, Monday, March 24, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start, small talk

* (0:07:06) Hey, guys!

* (0:08:55) Libs want Democrats angry!

* (0:12:24) News… Food banks DOGED

* (0:18:11) News… Peace by Easter? Deportations

* (0:24:10) Jasmine Mooney long sob story

* (0:32:01) Super: LYC

* (0:35:11) JAIME, MN: Tesla… Short women in power

* (0:41:14) JAIME: Tesla vs emotions

* (0:42:45) Respect for the worldly powerful

* (0:47:59) Coffee: Hakenomics and slavery kids abused

* (1:02:01) Coffee: Ukraine nuclear? …

* (1:08:51) Obamacare communism

* (1:20:25) Non-political gals… (Censored)

* (1:26:01) Rumble: Shoutout B-day, Joel Friday TV, talking to girls

* (1:29:24) Weed, drinking, shmorn, etc…

* (1:32:24) SpaceX splashdown: Astronauts home!

* (1:36:17) Is this Mars?

* (1:38:05) RICK, VA: DEI vs earning it…

* (1:42:30) RICK: Projecting their issues on us!

* ​​(1:47:10) RICK: Whites and J’s

* (1:48:35) Virus - Luna de Miel en la Mano - 1985, Locura

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/3/24/the-hake-report-mon-3-24-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/3/24/rip-george-foreman-hake-news-mon-3-24-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie

Nitpick the "right"; let the wrong go wild! Subsidized housing for failures? Death penalty prayers. Parental alienation?

The Hake Report, Friday, March 21, 2025 AD

TIMESTAMPS

* (0:00:00) Start

* (0:01:24) Stuff falling apart, airplane and airport incidents

* (0:06:23) Skype replacement? Google Voice?

* (0:09:30) Hey, guys! Willow Beach, AZ…

* (0:14:03) ANDREW, Scotland: Edinburgh, Glasgow; Tommy Robinson

* (0:24:21) Tommy Robinson "libel" case: Be careful!

* (0:26:41) Venezuelan soccer player asylum-seeker in El Salvador prison?

* (0:34:41) Focusing on the little wrongs, ignoring the big wrongs

* (0:36:52) JEFF, LA: Social Security fraud; Infrastructure bill subsidized living

* (0:44:32) JOSH, GA: Being white? Brainwashing against other groups

* (0:50:46) JOSH: love conquers all…

* (0:51:25) Death Penalty, firing squad, Brad Sigmon

* (1:04:55) Prayer? That's not prayer! Death Penalty

* (1:12:40) JAIME, MN: Housing subsidies; tax the rich mess

* (1:20:00) MAZE, OH vs JAIME: Giving money to Elon?

* (1:26:50) MAZE: What have whites done? ….

* (1:34:27) Supers: Tommy sis… Thought Hake was racist!

* (1:36:50) ALLEN, MI: whites on welfare, all failures! Staying in "school"! Stories…

* (1:41:46) ALLEN: LBJ undermined Christian charity!

* (1:44:34) Parental alienation: A right or privilege to your adult children?

* (1:48:33) Trump hit in face with mic

* (1:48:46) Jacky Cheung - 遙遠的她 - She Is Far Away

LINKS

BLOG https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2025/3/21/the-hake-report-fri-3-21-25

PODCAST / Substack

HAKE NEWS from JLP https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2025/3/21/hake-news-fri-3-21-25

Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show

VIDEO YouTube - Rumble* - Facebook - X - BitChute - Odysee*

PODCAST Substack - Apple - Spotify - Castbox - Podcast Addict

*SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or BuyMeACoffee, etc.

SHOP - Printify (new!) - Spring (old!) - Cameo | All My Links

JLP Network: JLP - Church - TFS - Nick - Joel - Punchie