Your bluetooth will shout “WEST SIDE” when Big Lepke and Sideschtick Schmitty smash into the PYFC with Big Lucks, Ol’ Blue Eyes, Schwartz and Chumahan to relate, reveal and run down the unspeakable, holy and unfathomable details on the Lepke Road, where has he been, who has he seen, what has he been doing, since we last left our Urban Legends survive sciatica and strokes, now feast your ears on the years since then and ultimately come to your own conclusion, but just know, the bravery, heart and energy that Big Lep shows in this episode might melt your earbuds. DO NOT MISS!
TRANSCRIPT:
Good morning. Good morning listeners. Yep. It's that time? The hard luck show is begun. Wake the fuck up. I'm sitting here in the city of Santa Monica Shaw center, Santa Monica, California, right here with my people on the west side, on my right over here.
Where's braids to court. Yeah. He likes Peter Frampton
and American Indian Southern California.
Here wants a kid to fucking bring you rap 10.
on sound.
American Indian beer right there, brother.
Come on
an extraordinary show runner shoe. Whoa. Yeah, what I fell is back again. What up fellas back again? Boom, muscle man. Shout out to beat. Tell me that doesn't sound like a funeral off fucking Russell. Like I'm right there in the mausoleum rock.
visual.
know what time it is. Ah, okay. And coming from orange county, Southern California. It's
what's the hell Schmitty. Are you doing? Do it shows I'm welcome. All right. I got lost. Where have you been? Oh man, three weeks, at least three weeks. The last time that we did a podcast, I want to get her a month. I think you've been living in about a hundred. I'm sure he, okay. I'm a little bit, I'm more confused than when we started talking to you.
We also have covering as well. Oh yeah. The one and only the reoccurring, the greatest of all time, the one and only the never duplicated, never replicated. No man. The mountain, the legends. Mr.
damn on me. I got the connection texting me right now. I'm letting him know I ain't going down.
in the middle of all this, this motherfucker is like, how many do you want? How many do you need a trip? No, nothing. I got the connection. He's like, what the fuck, man? I haven't heard from you in two weeks. Like, you know, our camp, you, I don't know what it is. It's like, the way I respond is like, maybe not now, not now, but not today, but maybe not later either.
Yeah, but, you know, put that on hold as a matter of fact, you know what, uh, and the dude needs some help, so I might help him. And I might not. Cause the last time I helped him, we both helped ourselves to a little bit. And you know, it was like, you know what, thank God, you know, I'm out of here by mistake. I didn't drive all the way over here to, uh, to, to, uh, to come over here and to judge shit, just to check in with the listener and let them know that, oh man, it's been rough, man.
Uh, the 2022 is like a year that I would like to say that, uh, I wouldn't like to restart it or put it behind me because I learned from where I, where I'm at today and where I was yesterday and where I was last week to the following week to this week or whatever we go, we're going to, we're going to have to come in in front of me is the fact that man, I have to take life serious.
Cause I've always told the listener that with the program that I run, that this follows me, you're on the menu, you know? And it's like, And death is something that I've been faced with this last few days. You know, it's like, you know, I'm, I'm the type of dude that, you know, if I, if I'm in, if I'm, if I'm doing anything, I'm doing it all the way, you know, I'm not just gonna fuck around and just go in and have a glass of Chardonnay.
Yeah. You know, it's like my insight, whether or not I'm, I'm up here, like explaining anything of that nature, whether that happened or not. It's like, well, you just expressed that, that you got the connection texting you. Yeah. Well, the connection has been texting me for 58 years of my life. He might've been text texting me while I was in the fucking womb, you know?
And it starts with that, you know, and then, you know, I just want to say, I thank God that I may be here today. I give all my, anything that has stayed, anything that you're going to hear today. I'm not going to get religious and I'm not going to get my, get a little bit spiritual on you. So if you're into some spirituality, spirituality, and the reasons why that I am sitting again, one more time in this seat this morning.
And, uh, with the gentlemen that got me here to there, I'll just have to look at it like, oh, well, Smitty's fun to play with these fun, the crown, when he's fun to do a bunch of dumb shit with. But the fact of the matter is at the end of the day, he's also a real crazy. Yeah. You know, he got his ass over here and, you know, we're, we're, we're met with things in life that, um, that we're faced with everybody, not everybody in this room, man.
I'm glad to be here. You know, I'm glad I was invited and I'm glad that I still have the opportunity to actually come and be here. Amongst all you gentlemen, not as a man, but as a true miracle in the eyes of know whatever you want to call it. You know, there's some people out there listening, you know, I got my boy, Mr.
Cartoon. He might not like he approve of the word, the word God. And he might not approve of whatever, but he does the proven something that keeps him going. And that, that could be his job. It could be his whim, his wife, his children. And that's the, what things that, the important things that I needed to look at today, because I do have.
That's very important to me in my life. And when I see my sons looking like they, ain't looking at me on the phone, on the little FaceTime and I see this kids eyes looking at me a little bit, like I've never seen that, right. It's I get away where I'm concerned about your dad. Like I'm a, as my mom, I'm going to turn 12 next month.
And a, and I'm not that dumb. And I know you have a look on your face. Like you might be worried about something and for my son to worry about certain things today, when he's 11 years old and pinpoint shit that we could be, I'm only imagine that how would a child can pinpoint something of when they, of something that he sees in me that I'm, that I know I see in myself that he probably sees in myself and I'm just trying to figure shit out another day, but I did make it here this morning.
And, uh, and I, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna take a few deep breaths, say a few little prayers because this, for the listener, I want you to know this is probably going to be, um, one of the hardest. You know, like just to be real, you know, it's like I made it and it was, um, yeah, I, I, you know, I don't want to be like, oh, well, you, you know, you face some fucking bullets and you've been dragged through the mud and you did a few, you know, you know, stairs penitentiary, you know, you've been faced with strikes, you've done this, you did that.
You know, you know what the fuck to do. So like, you know, another, you know, like everybody's looking at it like, like, you know, you know, you, you're supposed to know, like, you need to just, we need to take you out in the alley and whip your ass a few times. That's how many times. You know, you need to think, you know what you're doing and you don't know what the fuck you're doing, man.
Every time we leave, we, we, we put the reins in your hands to drive the horse, the horse fields off the track. And this happens time and time again. And I'm letting you know, like I'm not going to change nothing. There's only one thing I can change in that. And then if you think I'm going to change everything in a date year, two years, three years, six years, one day, two months, one more following moment.
Fuck all that shit. All fucking man. But you know what? The fact of the matter is I made it here. I'm taking a lot of advice I'm doing, you know, but I'm not doing everything the way that I should be doing it. I'm doing it the way that I should be doing that guys of like this moment that I made it here and the listener that if you're out, down, I'm letting you know, man, if you're struggling, man, I get it.
You know what? I'm going to let you know, you know, like, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm open game, you know, you can get at me however you want. You know, I can get it. You know what I mean? I'm still back in the community. I don't stop. You're part of the community. You never left it, but I'm, I'm here, man. And I want to thank you to everybody.
Whoever requested that they haven't heard, they haven't seen. You know, it's very important to me to know that I still hold some type of a, you know, a boundary to where I could come and, and express you. But this is probably going to be the most honest expression and that I have for you today, because I'm going to honestly come to this format and let you know that, um, yeah, my shit ain't together, you know, I I'm, you know who who's in actually come up here and go, Hey, everything's great.
I got, oh, I got this going on. I got, they're going to have me. Everything's cool. Everything's smooth. Everything's got, you know, right. Not on any of that bullshit. No, man. It's like, I'm here to let you know that, um, what's going on with that giants man. Giants could come to the table, man. I'm a giant, you know, I come to the table and I'm gonna let you know that there's a giant second that, that have fought this thing, man, and have battled it and have, you know, actually stood strong on their own two feet and have one.
But Smitty was telling me on the, over, on the way over here, right. When we got in the car, I go, look, man, we just, this could be a little bit, it's a little different way. We're going to have to go about this. We're going to have to get in there and we're going to have to let the listener know that, um, that, uh, everything isn't always going to be, what we're going to feel it's going to be.
And that's always running to come with all these things that we're going to come and see all everything's cool. Everything's all right. Sometimes everything. Isn't all right, because part of what is, what would you tell him? I ain't gonna forget cause I fucking stroke. Please try to remember what you told me.
Dig deep. You said something about, uh, What would you say? I'm glad you don't remember, because I don't even want to, I don't even know if he knows where he's at right now talking about no, no, no, bro. I didn't warn you about talking about shit, bro. I just told you straight out. You said something about when somebody hits a certain time when they do a, what it starts with an R read labs, what would you say the sentence?
What was the sentence when you start relapsing too much or whatever, when you, you really forgot what you said, you said it like in the way that the program states the state of like the 12. You forgot the 12 steps to, well, let me let her know. Listen, I was really thinking was going to let them with the sky was going to park God.
And could you forget that? Let me ask you a question. I think I kind of understand and I'm, and I'm not going to try to be disrespectful or anything about what's going on, but that's a hard one. I know it is. And it, and you first and foremost, I want to congratulate you for coming in. Yes, I thank you for coming because I, I want to say that you know how to show roles and all that other kind of stuff.
And for you to come in is really in line with the spirit of what the show is, which is honesty, right? Uh, this is the one where like the listener could go look at this poor mother fucker sitting up there and he got guys emotions like this motherfucker, we got there's people out there that will actually take that.
Cause they were working on the Eagle type of thing. Well that you don't care about. Anyway. Fuck. Those people hate me, bro. Believe me. It's a lot. I want them off the show. I'm even married to this man that runs the show there. Yeah, man. But I am going to ask you, I'm going to, I'm curious about this at what point and what do you think.
Caused the car to go off the rails for you. I knew that I shouldn't see, and I know you tomorrow and I knew that question was like really coming. But if like, like if I, if I, if I, if I not to complicate any, any, he like to just be simple and to come straight, I feel it was a number of things. And if we, if we could start, like, if you really like, like in the, like for the listener, like let's start with the excuses.
Cause we're gonna like use excuses to, for the reasons why, like, what am I sit up here and tell you what car would never ever w w the car, what, when did it ever go off the trail? Like, so if somebody does something in a manner to where they. Defeat the purpose of what we, it is that we were taught when we come into something which could be a 12 step program.
We could be a Victor outreach church or whatever it is that we want to change in ourselves. What, what is the reasons why we get to a certain point in our time and all of a sudden, just because of everything we learned, like everything that, that I learned that I was taught to do, to keep myself, to keep me from being what I believe in, which is a zero tolerance policy situation that I preached so hard and, and go drastic measures to, to like, have people believe this certain things.
And, and to like fully be honest, when I hit a podium and tell people everything that I'm seeing as a truth, and then not follow up to what ex exactly. I said, it's always, what was the reason why that, that you feel that it happened? One of the reasons why I feel that I've been is because I don't like to feel any fear.
And let me tell you what I did look. So anyway, I got him to this dude, man. I know you guys are very familiar with them. I watched the interview. I know he's a brother. His name is Kevin. Something. He has black something enterprises on a stomach of Kevin Gates. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And I watched the interview with him the other night and I really like sat and I listened to this dude and everything he said, and basically this, this dude, Kevin Gates, dude, I listened to what he was saying as like those theories and all those concepts that he believed in.
It like helped me for the night. Cause I needed something because something very bad was about to happen. And I was really, really, really, really. About to like, just do what I had got to a point to where I was like, this is not going to happen right now. And then it was really like, um, half of my brain was telling me, you know, that's not gonna, it's gonna happen because you're in a position to where you can just get it, let it happen.
And you're going to let it happen. And I put this dude on and it prolonged anything from happening for a little while, but anyway, it kept me for a minute and I listened to him. I really listened hard, man. And it's like, It's like, I kind of feel I'm in a kind of a position. Like he has. It's like, I went through my life, he explained through the pain and the pain and all he really wants.
And there's no TV in his house for a reason because all I really wanted in my life, I feel that I'm at a point in my life, but really like the question that I'm going to answer. Cause you just asked it is I feel that I feel that I have like, uh, I have not my mother, I don't have a mother. I have no mother.
I have my, my father's not around. There's like having no family members. I have, I have my son and I have my, you know, my, um, my significant other, which is the, um, how would we like my mother, my son's mother, or, you know, my ex my, I would call her my ex, the mother of my son. That, that I think right there, I was pushed.
I'm going to blame her, but I was pushing the direction to where I'm just doing the same thing and I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm doing what everybody tells me to do. And I keep doing that. And then I, I met with one, so something that I was, that, that dropped them. So I said, I'm going to get through this.
And I, and it was in a situation to where it was kind of heavy. So I got through it and I, and I held onto it and how they got worse, you know, things just kept piling up in that area. Then I took on another thing. I added some more trains, you know, I add the cars to the train because once the train gets in, I'm the type of guy who wants to, I, once that starts to train and I get the motion, I add cars on the train.
Every time I hit stop, I have. So I kept putting cars onto the train. Um, you know, and then I added another car and I thought I put the, you know, another car and I'm thinking, here's the car that's going to fulfill me and make me feel whole about myself. And that's going to fix me. And it's the car that, you know, and it's like, it could be deceiving.
You know, we could look at the situation like, you know, you could look at it like everything is going one way and the cars rolling good until we hit them. When we hit a stop in the, and then the bag is empty, you know, and that baggage comes out. Now I'm rolling with an empty car, you know, uh, one time, uh, when Steve big Lux was, uh, mentoring me right.
Uh, he gave me, he told me, this is what big luck said to me from on high. It came down from some, I'm just sending our next guest a message about to come back in a little while. Okay. And what he said, thank you for that. And then what he said was he said to me that. Can you, this is what big luck said. I never forgot it too.
And we're talking about like 20 years ago, maybe, maybe 18 years ago. And he said to me, he said, you know, listen, he goes, listen, uh, relapsed. Okay. That doesn't happen when you pick up a relapse starts long before the pickup. And he's telling me this, and I remember being like a little fat kid and listening to that and thinking like I asked, right.
So in some level I kind of follow what you're saying in the sense of like, there's a lot of cars got on it, but just like really just out of curiosity, internally for you. Right. Big thing. That might be one thing or things that may be considerable things that led you to that. Go ahead. COVID yeah. How so?
Lay that out. What are believing them? Well, the paranoia from it through more with the people that was around me, where the environment I'm in, there was people that were like, like I looked at it, like if you get a, you get a, you get past it, whatever. There was a lot of. You know, I was in my environment was there's people that, that, you know, we got, you know, so there was tension.
I felt like yard tension. Like the people that I was living on my side kind of put myself, like I was living in like a, in a, in a, in like when you're institutionalized, you're going to have like, you're going to have four races that don't. So with COVID, you're going to have two or three races that are looking at like people, not racist, but individuals who have a certain outlook on how, you know, it's not going to hit me, get the shot, don't get the shot, you know, and it, it was like, that was some of it and not in the first year, but as we went into the second year, it was like a little bit stressful move with me for that, I think.
And also I shut down. You know, and I'm trying to, it was like, like I shared, I got to a meeting. Finally, I got to a meeting, uh, Thursday night when they go up Thursday, what'd you get over there? Listen, listen. I mean, big, big level. Why, why you're telling this really human story. I'm also watching fucking Schmidt being outsmarted by a water bond.
It's going to fail. He's gotta be smarter than the lid
take it. So I told him, I told him, Hey, throw that shit up for the, for the picture. He goes, I don't know any motherfucker, any motherfucker. You got to take both his fingers and twist them in the middle of the, put the west side up. It's like take the head of the fucking and put in his brand Starbucks.
People are looking at, I was like, I'm like, Hey, like what is this dude doing to his fingers? I'm trying to twist me the wrong way. That's good. That works. I can use both hands up. Hey, how come you got a neon, yellow fucking hat Carhartt. I got all that. Everybody knows that I'm different than all the other people.
Oh, they know, they know you throw the DOB ups. Yeah. Yeah. He did it without the. Also my health also when I'm, um, when, uh, when this dude he had that stroke, you know, we had that health thing, a lot of listeners will know that we went through, uh, like, uh, uh, ma not medical. It's like, um, fuck, I lose these words, man.
I get like this dude, it's the, yeah, well, no, not just the stroke is that I'm an unhealthy reasons. So my health was deteriorating without me admitting it. So I started noticing that I had got this stroke and that kind of like tripped me out a little bit. And then, you know, they were, you know, there's some stroke game, the bag of the Saturday when we were at the w the last time I was here, I remember he doesn't remember shit.
This is not funny Schmidt. No, it ain't. No, I remember the w when I got the cane, I'm walking with the cane, like, I'm an addict. I'm going to. If my back is fucked up, I'm going to make sure I get some pain pill. Cause I'm not, you know, I'm not that far when I can maintain some pain pills cause of my back.
Cause I wasn't fucking, there was one of y'all now, so I'm not going to be like, oh yeah, that's another fucking excuse. So you have some back pain, you got other pain pills. You could have taken some more junior could have done well, when you, when you start taking everything that really ain't really working, you're gonna fall back on the painkillers.
So I maintain that for a minute. I did it the way I supposed to, you know, I might've, you know, like the first bottle, I mean, it's true. It does, you know, and I did, I've never taken pain pills as prescribed. That'll always, always right. I swear to God, I got to about a doctor handing them to you. Clears you of any wrongdoing, you know, like you lay on it, open it all up, man.
I didn't ask to be sick. I didn't tell the doctor. Hey, let me tell you though, bro. I'm lugging. Have my teeth pulled out. Right. And the doc gave me a fucking big old canister of fucking pain pills that was supposed to last a week. They were gone in one day easily. Fuck. Yeah dude. You're like, oh, I was like, dude, I was like tripping bro.
I was like pink flood. I was like, hello? And you're like looking at the thing. Oh, do my feet. My hands felt like five feet thick, almost like glom and shit. And I was happy. I was actually fucking exactly. I was actually, and it didn't work for me like that this time we worked for me this time is I got him and I tried, I actually got him with where I was, you know, in my state of wellbeing.
I got him and I go, I'm going to follow directions. I'm going to be the one this time, you know, y'all, I'm going to be the one that says I'm going to do everything it says for me to do. And that happened a little bit in the beginning until like, until I got down to like 12 and I was like, okay, well I gotta add, you know, it was, I could put some more and then I got through those and then I was cool.
Listen, I shook it. I was cool. You know, I'm back to normal. Everything's good. And then some. Nan. I knew that, you know, the tension like more tension came, like it hit me more with more tension, more drama, some more shit. Like, you know, this didn't happen, right. This th th the call didn't come through quick enough, the texts wasn't there.
It could be a number of things like this. This happened, that happened. I think I'm going to explain another thing. So I got out lucky, lucky me and lucky know each other. Real good, man. We're real close. One time I was talking over just talking man. And he asked me a question, you know, I met him somewhere.
We went you a little function. I met up and sat down with him and he got me, you, it was just sitting there. If you could read between the lines, you know, read between them. And if you can't just, just take the listener, just drive, you know, we driving the bus, right. He was getting, you know, just relax on the bus, listen to the music.
So I hit lucky up. I'm like this, you know? So what's up with this. He's like, so lucky. That's all. Hey, what's up with this man? Like, he was like, how's that? How's that? How are your situations going on? I go, they going cool. This what's up. And he goes, man, you know, like, then that don't like dentists and like sound too, like, like legging, like he like knew like, and we both looked at you.
I said, yeah, well, you know, I can handle it. And he goes, oh no, man, I'm going to have a motherfucker like that. Some shit like that was semi straight out. And I'm like, well, yeah, well it ain't going to send me. I can, he was on, he was, I don't know, man, you like you in that area, you need to, like, you need to back up on me.
Like, you know, you a G I known you a long time and you need like, take a step back. And that's like, the more that he was telling me to take a step back, I was like, he could tell him my face. He's like, like, I know you, ain't gonna say like, you're gonna, like, when you leave out of this, after this conversation, you can like, take a step five more further.
I know how you get down, bro. Like you a real motherfucker. You're gonna go. Like, if you do anything, like you do it, you go all the way, man. You go hard from the gate and. It's like, you're not just going to put, you know, two or three sugar. Like if you drink sugar in your coffee, you're not putting two or three in there.
You got four, you going all the way with it. So I, and the advice that I'm giving you, man, is like, it's like, he gave me that, like, if I would've, if I was stood on that advice that day and did what I was really supposed to do it, might've still prolong whatever it is that I thought I was going to do down the line, which I, they listened to us and need to know wherever the fuck I'm at.
But to really be honest with you, the listener is just that I'm letting you know, man, I'm this type of individual. If you don't know me, you don't mean, well, you research, whatever the fuck you eat. If you don't research start researching the fact that I'm not afraid of. No, I really am. I get to a point in my life when I started doing dumb shit, it starts going through my head that maybe I, um, then maybe my time's up here, you know, maybe I said enough or I did enough.
And it was like, that was going through my head at early, before anything happened. It was like really going through my head, like, cause I get already visualized. Cause like I'm blessed with a gift that I can actually know where I'm going to go before I get. And I believe that I was already, some things were telling me where, and I was like, you know what, I, I know where this is going to lead.
I already played the table and I knew, but I still, I'm still one of those dudes that wants to hold on. I want to just hold on, man. I want to hold on. And I want to keep trying to be a controlling individual and do anything it takes. And, and even like that, we have that conscious, you know, you have that, you have that conscious, deep down and goes, you know, this shit ain't gonna work out, but you got the problem.
There's a problem. There's a piece of. That wants it to work out so badly and believes it. That's why you're doing a believes. You might be able to change it this time, but then there's the other half of you, that's telling you, you know how this goes when you're in the middle of that. Yeah. Like, because you don't like defeat, you know, like even though, you know, he wouldn't give up, no, you know, the area, like you don't know exactly what the area and you know exactly where it is, what the outcome's going to be, but then again, you don't, but you're taking about 1% and stretching that it might work.
Cause dealing with you're dealing with individuals or an individual you're dealing with individuals who you kind of like, look at the situation and you want to take that chance you are taking that chance. You're fucking taking. Then you're like, well, you know what? And then if you really research and you really smart, if you really like game up and you'd like, really go in, you know, you really realize the fact that you're actually competing with somebody who is exactly identical or most.
Close to what you might be going through. Well, well, you know what, I'm listening to this and I'm thinking about it. And I'm thinking like,
there is a piece that I, when I'm hearing you talk, bro, there is a piece that I do wonder as lucky the father, right? What you go through because on a certain level, it's all well and good. The games we play when it's just us. Yes. Right? Yes, yes. Right? Yes. Yes. Jumaan there. It's all well and good. And, but there's another piece of this component and I want an eye and I'm curious now I'm not even curious.
I'm actually hoping that something that I say goes into the category. Like this, this is more important than me. Hi, I'm Randy. And this is Dave. We're the founders of Bombus the most comfortable socks in the history of fi so comfortable. We sold and donated millions of pairs to sell and donate a lot of socks.
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Get started for [email protected]. you know, we, so let me tell you something. When I was a real bro, when I was a little boy. Okay. I didn't have a mom, right? You at least had your mom. Okay. I didn't have a mom at all. What a, how was an alcoholic overweight father? For a long time, but there was a period of time that I idolized him when I was like four or five, because I didn't know everything yet.
All I knew was I was real small and he was real big and I thought he was all powerful. Like, like for me, I was like, man, that's the strongest student. I was so happy that he was on my team because he was so big. He could protect me. He could protect me from what's out there. Maybe protect me from other men or a duck.
And the thing is, is there came a point in time in my young Innes where I saw my dad weak. I saw him weak and it fucking broke me, bro. It broke me so hard that demand that I looked up to that I, you know, Love, like I loved him and I needed him was actually not as strong as I thought he was. And as a young man that broke me and it took a long time for me to understand everything a long time, but it was very confusing and it was disheartening.
And I look at you big lap and I'm like, man, that's a big dude. That's a big why. And, and, and, and, and everybody sees you like that. A mountain. Uh, mountain that absorbed bullets, a mountain that, you know, got real close to fucking death, a mountain that doesn't care about.
you know that right. We're filming. Where are you filming that camera though? I ain't tripping. Right. So when you're thinking about when you, I mean, all kinds of, and while you're talking, I got a bunch of shit, but there's people like you, you know, they want it, like I'm still, no matter what happens, I still am in that position to where I still want to do what I'm doing is I, am I got the, can they wait for a minute?
I just tell them that I got, I just let him know, like, I'm not I'm doing this. Well, I guess what I'm trying to, I guess maybe enlist is a good example and I'm not trying to come down here. Maybe it's hard for you to be responsible for somebody else. Yeah. Well, at this point, yeah, at any point, at any point I just said, I just said yesterday to somebody, I cry, you know, like I got emotional with somebody yesterday.
I told him and I said, listen, he, right now, I'm at a time in my life where I need to like look out for myself. And when I look out for a whole bunch of other people, but you gotta remember something too, I'm coming from a place to, to Mohan. I want you to know I'm coming from a place where I went from, from like, like a yard skid row situation shift, right into another situation through that I've been through throughout my life, like over and over and over again.
Like not once, not twice, not three times, not four times. Right? Like throughout my life. And in order for me to go in there again, it's like got people. Don't like, you're not going to do it that way. We want you to do it this way. You're going to go in and sit up here and you're going to do it like this, and you're going to do it like that.
You're going to do it like this. And it's like, I'm almost to the point today and I'm not going to listen. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to let you know right now. I, because I'm at a point to where like, people are like, I got people telling me we don't want that. We don't want that. We don't want that. And I'm not, and I'm not saying that I'm faced or anything or I'm taking the control, but I'm looking at everything that I have that I've accumulated.
Like I get accumulated on my own. It didn't ever have no woman, nobody, nobody, but me. I accumulated that. I went to the table with it and I, and I did everything I was supposed to do. And everybody looking at it, like some bull, like you, that ain't shit, but we're willing to, like, we want to grab that from under you.
And we're going to go on, on a program that we're going to set out in front of you. And that's kind of still hard for me to do because cause you like, what are you going to choose? You choose this. Or you choose to go over here and lay up here in doc. I will choose the other way to die. I listen, I understand.
I'm not even going to be like, oh, I'm in here angry. Or I might be upset. I'm at the mercy of, of what, what you're saying or what everybody else around me, because I don't talk like that. I'm just telling you. This is what I'm telling you, identify with your son. You know why? Because he plays the saxophone, you know, who else played the saxophone?
He did that for a week and then he got burned down. You know, who else played? The saxophone? Me, me too. Okay. And I looked at your son and I saw how happy and proud he was of you. That's the only thing I see, but I play both. He flat out on tenor. And the issue is, is as all I'm saying bigly, it's one thing to say like, oh, I can live this way or I could die that way.
And it's all just me, but it really ain't man says young man, you know, we have a lot of dudes that come up through here that talk about a man wasn't in their life. And that led them to a life of crime. Of course, I have a lot of friends and in a similar situation to like, they might be my age, but they had kids later in life where you got kids, but you had more.
So they're my age. And they're dealing with. Okay. I see a young man that's 12, 13, 14 years old. Right. And they're going through this shit right now. But now, currently to that, and I remind all my friends like that. I go, man, you can look at my life and use me as a perfect example. I was sober for like five years and doing it all my kids.
And when I decided to relapsed Vincent was like 13. And it was the worst possible time that you disappear on a boy. But I really, really didn't wrap my head around it. I really didn't. I didn't. Then when he went to the joint, no, no, this is a, this is after this or 20, uh, 15, whatever years ago when I relapsed, after having some time I couldn't wrap my head around it.
I don't know why. And I don't want to call it just plain selfishness or just. I could not stop using the pain or what I was feeling or what I was going through. There was one thing and I was after it's a solve that and I chased it and I fucking left my family, hanging my kids. And like, it's the only, even my prison terms.
I don't say, oh, I wish I could redo, like, okay. But what I wish I wouldn't, the only regret I have is that I, that I left my son hanging in the most important years. What I feel of a man's life. I really did, bro. I left that kid hanging when he needed me the most. And I tell people like you and to different friends in that situation today, I'm like, bro, whatever you do wrong.
Please because what you're showing him is what he's going to do. You're showing me he's going to want to do that. And I didn't understand that. And I came to find out that that was the truth man. And that what I was doing was affecting him so drastically. And I had no idea how I found that was when I found out the way you don't want to find out, or one of the ways you don't want to find out when it's already full-blown and this guy's doing exactly what I was doing.
And it's like, just, I remember when I got that call, I was heartbroken in tears. My son didn't grow up like me. I didn't even grow up like me. So why is he shoving in his arm? But he was, you know, so it's, it's w you weld a lot of power, bro. We willed a lot of power, man. And sometimes we don't. Give knowledge to who's watching us, bro.
Everywhere you go, people are watching you either good or bad. See your son is looking at how everybody looks at you and island. So you're at this place and your actions, man, affect everybody. But it's him. It's him that we're talking about right now, more than ever. I see. Yeah. And the thing is, is, is kids are, are super smart, right?
So he's going to see you say whatever you say, and he's going to compare it to whatever else he's thinking and seeing himself. How about you say that he's going to use with you what I say, right. And he's also going to like go off of what everybody else has. Projecting also like, may it be his mother or people around or social individuals who might his, who his mother also put in her life at, uh, at the, at the time, like somebody who like you like got us, like, what do you do?
I feel was like the major, like thing that dropped in my lap to where it did not set me up as it put like the motion in my head to where, like, what the fuck? Like this isn't fair. Like what, what isn't fair about it? No, you got to kick back to where it wasn't just a bunch of work. This is something that I don't need to, you know, like I'm not going to use this as, this is not going to be an excuse that I use.
And I went and I wrote on that for a long time. Like, I'm not gonna do it like that. I'm not going to do it. But like I said, the cars fucking kept adding on. These cars kept adding over and over and over this man sitting next to me, he seen me, he sees me on the phone. He seen, it was like one time he looked at me.
He says, well, like, what the fuck is going on? What are you doing? That's so wrong that these people kind of agree with that. You're doing like, what is it that they want? Like, what do you fucking want? Like, what do you want from me? What do you like actually want out of me? It's like, you give me, you give me all this recognition about how it's like you like, and it's also at the same time, like, like, like, like, like running a game on me, like I'm going to, like, you are not in that position because of the fact that like, uh, like where do you, how did you put me in any position?
The only position you put me in. Threaten me that if I didn't do something about this, you, I was never going to see my son. And I'm stating that as that, that's the same thing that's happening. As we sit here at this moment, as I'm sitting here on the phone, I could be happening like right now, you're like, this is an ongoing process.
Even when I was doing the right thing, like you're doing the right thing for so long, but yet you're getting blamed every day for not doing the right thing. And you're, you're, you're you're you have the same behaviors and you're not. And then I'm looking at this individual. Right. And I'm not going to put nobody out there, but you know, we know what the fuck.
Yeah. I put you out there, you out of there. So yeah, you're doing one thing and it's not justifying whatever the fuck you're doing. Like, we're both getting looked at. You're wrong. I'm wrong. I'm right. You're wrong? Yeah. It's going to get to the point who gives a fuck? What point it gets to, where are you going to go with it?
Like, where are you going to take this today? Who gives a fuck? What happened last night? Who gives a fuck? What happened 10 minutes ago? Where are you going to go? When you set up off this fucking mic and you leave up out of this door, fucking. And the tag onto that too. I think it's the affects. I ain't even give them, I feel like that a lot of people and us included myself too, are not really considering, like, we talked about the effects we have on the people around us.
Right. Once you're out of it and you're out of it and you're okay, I'm gone or whatever. But, but what I'm saying is you, as you're around longer, you gain more knowledge on something. Right? Right. You see deeper. And I'm going to give you an example real quick. We'll have more in deeper. You know, I said about my son, just now, how about when my son had his son rose heartbreaker and he couldn't show up because my son's getting loaded and I'm seeing his grandson.
So now every time I engage my grandson, there's a piece of what he isn't getting, what he's being cheated out of because I taught his dad how to cheat your son out of his. Right. I taught my son. This is how you leave your son hanging XY. You fuck your kid up. And so he repeats it down. That's what I'm saying.
The longer I'm at another level wisdom people want to ask me, how is it that you're not doing meth right now? You're not opting to go. Cause you know what, it's not just the program where it's not that it's experiencing. And I say some shit like that when I really see what the fuck I was doing and how deep this thing can go and carry on generations of just sickness.
That's what made me step back, man. Like my actions affect. as we, as we're special, we're speaking, I'm looking at you, mom valued. And I, and I feel the vibe, the vibe right now is, is that like, fuck, what are we going through? It's all about our children, man. At the end of the day, it's the most important person that I can sit here and say it is, but is it really about your fucking child when you got the fucking needle dangling out your neck?
Okay. No, I think it's things to think about once we're sober to start using, to really taking an investigating look at that. And if you're not clear, I don't think if I wasn't clear on that. And as in a pause or times where I have sobriety, I started to really look at that man. And I was, and it started to change me and I didn't want to look at that stuff.
I really didn't want to investigate that. And as I do, the more really become so no lap. It's I'm I'm right with you. When somebody tells me, go ahead and stop for your kid. Do that. Oh, that didn't happen. They said all this to me and I still couldn't stop. But, but, but, but all right. Yes. And I'm going to say something because as a guy that successfully stacked up 19 years off of anything, all right, sure.
And there's been millions of times on this show where I've said something that, that I feel like wasn't quite listened to because people think that it's easy for me. They put me in a separate category. I got 19 years. All right. Uh, sobriety and I'll tell you something. Part of it for me was,
was that, all that shit. I talked about everybody else when I was weak and being abused by alcoholics and drug. All that motherfucking righteous indignation. I had to battle why I shouldn't change. I was becoming that I was doing it. I was that person as much as I was hurt and victimized by fucking alcoholics and drug addicts, I was doing the same motherfucking thing and I was lying one of them.
So what shit was I talking? So big lab. When you talk about you, ain't got your mom and you talking to them about like, oh, listen or missing the most fundamental question in anyone's life is who the fuck is calling Schmitty right now in the middle of a fucking apartment felt Schmitty. Jesus Christ. Get off the phone, man.
Did you eat for big Lux to lay out for everybody to hear the generational sickness that he had an opportunity to put a, to stop, to put an end to. And we're talking about his grandson is a little boy and listen, listen, his grandson is a vulnerable, beautiful, sweet, innocent, a little boy, and big luck shows up for him now.
But at the same time, big lips, he bears the pain of whatever he's feeling. So, so, so, so I understand not wanting to feel anything. I get that, bro. I, I I'll fucking eat food that not fit. So I'm saying for you big laugh. So when you say like it I'm supposed to do for me and is that going to stop it? You're right, but that's a, that's a, that's, that's a, that's a path.
Everybody already knows. The question is what's it going to take for big. To allow his heart to show his son how a man is supposed to live his life. Because one day your system is going to take action. It's going to take action and footwork and doing whatever. What it's going to take for me is I don't like, like people to like, like I'm putting a position to where, where it's like, like you like, all right, I'm in a situation where I have this going, but yet you haven't seen your son.
But I'm doing all these fucking things, you know, it's like, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go. When do you want me? But then no, you're not ready to go. You look this way, you look that way you changed you. This all this fucking shit. How about when everything was like gravy, everything was cool. And I was like, doing everything, like straight as a fucking, you know, walking that line straight, everything.
It was the same fucking deal, man. Let me tell you something. I'm like, how long is a motherfucker? Like, just put up with that and just sit up with that. And it's like, it gets to a point and somebody there's a boiling point. I don't give a fuck who you are. No, no, no, no. You know what? There is one point, like it's still a choice and I'll tell you something.
I'm a family law lawyer. Okay. Listen, you know how many dads I've worked with? They can't see their kids because of some bullshit from the mother. Uh, you know how many it's all my fault. That's all I hear. Listen, listen, listen, this is a woman I'm not talking about it. I'm not talking about whose fault it is.
Even if it is somebody else's fault, right? What's that what's that got to do with you and you're showing up may be not picking up what's that got to do. I'm trying to fucking show up and I'm not given the opportunity to show up in the, in the manner that it doesn't matter. That part, listen. No, no, no, no, no, no.
It doesn't matter. No, it doesn't listen. I'm not saying it's not important. You're right. You're right. But what I'm saying is. If you die on the end of a needle, you ain't ever going to show up. That's all exactly. That's what we're getting at now. We don't like people listening, like, oh, we turning this into a relapse relation ship show each other.
Let me finish the sentence. Okay. God damn. Cause we love you. We love you. That kind of finish the sentence, man. It's like, yeah. The point of the matter is to me was like, no, it's like, it's like we're with the world. I made a point like in my life right now at this minute, I'm at a point to where like I like, okay, everything is biting everything past.
So I'm at a point today where I'm at. Right. And I know where I, and I know where I'm going. I know I need to get you. And I know I'm going to get there. I'm going to get there regardless of what they tell me, you tell me wherever it was. You got people shutting shit. Yeah. Like in other words, you know, you're at a point where I, yeah, you shut down, I'm going to shut you down.
I got to do whatever it takes. I'm going to shut it. I'm going to shut everything down until I get to what I got to get to. Right. You don't even want to know how I woke up this morning. Come on. You don't even want to know. And it's not even good for me to put another, cause it doesn't matter because you're gonna have people.
Because if I tell you, I woke up this morning by next week, everything is going to get
wake up. I wake up, man. I'm not going to say nothing. I know. I know what I'm doing, bro. Look, I wake up this morning, right? I don't give a fuck because you know what? I, I stand amongst you gentlemen. Then I stand amongst you as not as a man, I stand amongst you in the eyes of a spirit man. The spirit that guides.
It doesn't matter what two tells me, what, who tells me what, anything I'm guided by a fucking spirit man, a spirit that wants me to live more than it wants me to die. My mother used to tell me, Hey, you know what? The heart is, the older you get, the harder the run. You know, I believe in that. And I, in other words, these runs are getting hard and they're going to get harder.
And they going to keep getting harder is what you're going to do in order to how are you going to stop or where you feel you're going to stuff. And everybody. You know, and step on a wheel always tells me, stop taking this shit out on yourself. It's sending me back in a bloke. So it's like, instead of me going over there and telling him, telling him, oh boy, you know, the other half of my woman a while, what I really feel right.
If I really go over there and let them know what my feelings are. Right. You know, my feelings is either, you know, you know, what's going to happen. I'm going to be sitting. I'm going to be calling you as a lawyer to tell you like, look, I don't know why that gun went off, or I don't know why this fist went upside.
Is that in back of it? You see? So if I'm putting like, like I'm going to say, what, what, what would I rather do I wait? All right. Do I go over there? Do I go over there and do this? I mentioned, you know, do I go over there and do that? No, because what's going to happen is that's going to be fiscal fast, quick, and in a hurry incarceration.
And then, and then I play the tape and I'm like, then my son's going to see what type of manner I act. And that's is that enough manner to act then to, is this he's this dude doing enough? Like, so I get up my son, cause I'm still on the verge to ask my son, Hey, how's everything over there is everything cool.
Like prior to investigation, is everything going good at that house is everything. And I haven't heard nothing negative with my son, but then I got the other words telling me some other shit. And then I got the dude taking me, like, come on here, I'll drive you home. Right. Let me let, let me roll. You. You, you, you were rotting.
You do taking me pulling off to the side of the road, knowing that I'm injured, talking about, come on, you know, like what's up. I mean, yeah. Well what's up, you know, like, yeah. You're the one that pulled over to the side of the room and asked me to get into him. He told me he got to come about it. Yeah. It was cracking.
You know, it's like, I don't play chess, but the next move is like, what's up right here. I am like, I do. I need that. That's another thing that built me to the point to where he checked us out. Like, like what the fuck. Like, all I'm trying to do is be a right individual in the eyes of whoever it is. I'm trying to inspire, you know, and listen, and you are an inspirational dude, and this ain't directed at you, homie.
I ain't dragging this at you, but let me put it to you this way. I have a friend. Okay. I'm going to say it like this, because now you're putting the situation out there where I kind of understand where you're coming from. You're saying, look, you know, I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to show you a way.
I'm going to show you a solution. I can listen to this. This is real man. Listen. Okay. Listen, I got a friend who's real close to another friend and his real close friend got himself in a situation that's through no fault of his own. It's real fucked up. Okay. Now my friend might handle things a certain way.
When the shit goes down, it goes like this. But my friend called, uh, an attorney, right. To figure out the options from a legal perspective. Right? Like what if you were to like take care of business, take care of business. That's right, right. I'm there. I know. And it's not all, it's also strategy. Right. And there's not a person on God's green earth that wouldn't understand why my friend might want to take care of business in a certain way.
Okay. There's not nobody you could kill from the sheriff to the fucking homeless. They'd all understand like, oh, okay. Yeah. Murder was, I don't know. No, I mean, I'm not saying now I'm just saying what's that called murder? I don't know what you're talking about that. No, listen, listen. I understand what you're saying.
I, listen, I got a way to handle it. I got a way to handle this. All right. Right. Certain things were hammered out and done in a way that business was taken care of, but not in a way that was going to make everything go real south real fast. So what I'm trying to tell you is, is that solvers meaning what?
The worst? No, no, no, no. So Southern south sides, the best we're talking about, what's the worst thing that could happen. Um, I can't tell you that. I don't know. I can't imagine it, but if you can read between the lines, which you can. Okay. Right. Cause there might be blow back and there's a whole problem. But what I'm trying to tell you is when you get into a place as a human, as a spirit where you feel like it's either this or that, okay.
I'm telling you from experience that that's a false dilemma. It's not really this or that. There are other options, but it does take. Uh, pause and you do have to let someone else drive to do the little thing. That's all I'm trying to get to you brother. Cause I understand what another thing too. I want to point out.
It's another thing that everybody was feeling like, you know, like they, the dude next to me right here, I'm going to explain. So now you're going like a month, some months, like 2000. When I started talking, I said 2022, it hits. So from then on a little bit, after a little bit of 2021 from the time man from that time.
So in other words, you, you, every time you go to where you want to lay your head, like you go, you you're, you're in a situation where your home is your, your domain, where it's peaceful. You want to go to a place where you feel at peace. And it started to get like that with, with, uh, it started to get to the points with me, where I was going through a situation where I knew there wasn't peace.
I was seeing my, my, um, you know, It got to the point where I was like, I wasn't, it sounded that I felt, I wasn't feeling the inner peace with myself. I was not really feeling the inner peace with myself because of the people that were that they're not really, that I, that I had, like, I'm going to say, oh, well, I, what I say goes, or what if they don't run those, you know, like if we're on the yard and you don't do the burpees you get in.
Right. I'm not, I'm not going in a situation like that. I'm going in a situation like, like I want to be able to come somewhere where nobody's hanging on my watch each individual who is going through the same thing that I'm, I'm probably going through now. I watched a certain individuals and I kept looking at it and I go, damn, I don't want that to happen to me.
I don't want to, I don't want to be like that guy. I just saw this guy goes through this and all. And it's either about finances or romances is either behind a dude getting in a relationship green. Right. It was either a dude getting in a relationship. And I was watching, I was watching, I was watching in the back of my head.
I'm well, I'm not going to let that happen. I'm not gonna let that happen. I'm not going to have, while it was sitting in. Well, little by little I'm I'm telling myself the cunning baffling and powerful thing. That's that I'm not even realizing it's in my head actually saying to me, that's not going to happen to you.
That's not grammar. And little by little, I started noticing, but it is happening saying it as you move into
it's like when you're riding a bike and you can see you're going to fuck up before can't turn, that's not going to happen. That's not going to have a look. And none of it driving into the fucking, the border right by the border guys were there and he had the shit and he was like, ah, man, but there's nothing to get
And I'm like, and I'm looking at it like this now. And in the back of my mind, I was like, wait, and then you start noticing that a little bit of everybody, everybody that you're around. Yeah. It's like everything that you're, that they're experiencing, you're, you're feeling the same effects of that happening.
And it was like getting serious, so I wasn't even watching. So they came in on one guy and he said, you missed two for domestic violence. Has a standup pajamas, brown your back. I look at, I go, well, that ain't going to happen to me. Cause I'm not in over there messing around this scratch. But wait a minute, if I keep it at some point, if I'm fighting with somebody in that type of room, but I'm not going to put myself, but I started noticing that I was getting pushed 10, that, that, like you want to like take it all the way you got, even to where it was even, he was even getting to the point to where there was some, like things that I never thought I was.
To somebody else and things were being said, and things were in there and I would ever hang. And then, and then even on another and another scale I was, God was putting myself in a position. Nobody else. I don't put nobody in my own self. I was putting myself in a position to do things right, where I thought this individual is putting me in a position where I've never been.
I've never had any other individual put me in this position to lead me to up to the points where I would make myself look like this. And I went ahead and I made myself do exactly what I thought I wasn't doing, which. Because of the fact that w I had put, you know, I wasn't in my right from a mind, of course, I'm not going to go and blame.
Oh. Because I did what I did and I did. And it doesn't matter what I did. And it doesn't matter if I try to figure out who's doing what, or what are you doing or where you're at with it, or where do you, what are you gonna do with it? What are we going to do at the end of the day? I'm the solution to, what's going to happen to this?
When I leave up out of here, I could say, as a man, honestly, honestly, in the listening, well, you leaving about it. There are you going to be all right? When you hear about it, I know I'm not going to fucking be all right, because I'm going into a place where I'm not feeling at peace. So if you're going to be like, well, if you're not feeling, are you, how about you?
You feel at peace when you go back, be honest, not late. St. John, you gotta be careful. Y. So you see, so we brought the same person over here, so they kind of explained now, when you talk, you gotta be careful what you're talking about, because if you really want to get honest, I have no problem with that, man.
You're you, you're on man. We're men hold up. We're not children. You're a man. So you know, this is a, if you feel this is a good platform for people to know what the fuck is going on, you're an honest man, you still sincere. And a lot of what you say, right? That's why I got that fallen out or whatever that's going on without joking around, man.
I seen any jokes, no jokes. It's been a long fucking ride regardless of what we've been through or what we're doing or whoever's out there like what the fuck is really? What the fuck are these dudes even talking about? Like, what do you got one motherfucker? You know, he stands tall, you know, and tell, you know, fuck all that.
We remove everything. We come naked. Okay. She knew up in here, naked man, naked shit. Tell us, tell us what you, what you, what you, what you're going to tell him. Uh, I, what I was going to say, how I don't feel, uh, secure or I don't feel in a good place, you know? Cause we do, we do have a sobriety or a UN uh, help.
I am, I lost all of our, we have, because we live in a sober living house. It's hard to express the truth we're full right now. And it's not a good feeling when yeah. Okay. Let me tell you something. Let me see if I could turn into a hypothetical something that's not, when I worked and soberly, I used to work at sober living in Malibu while I went to law school.
Right. And I can tell you straight up, I know for a fact that that sober living had dirty people living up in there because they could afford the rent. All right. So I can see where you could be in a sober living and you might not feel like maybe you're supported. So I'm not necessarily saying that's the issue here.
I'm just saying I could see it that way. Right? Now Schmidt, let me ask you a different question. And all of the warnings still apply and this isn't live so we can delete it out if we have to, because it will all in protect the innocent and all that good thing. But from your perspective, what did you see with the challenges that big LEP was like?
Did you, did you notice, uh, challenges coming up or how was your experience kind of, because I was in the orange Thorpe house, uh, for awhile there and everybody started using it. It started a little, some guy, one guy and another guy, and then the young guys come and fuck, they're using the whole back of the whole back room to sell speed out of the back of the house.
Right. And so you saw trouble on that summer, everybody high and everybody lying necessarily worried about another house that we actually had to go intervene and do what. The manager was the one who was loaded. It's actually like cleaned it up. We went in there that would happened at a few, few spots, and we always tell ourselves, this will never happen over here.
I always tell ourselves this Schmidt, we do everything in our power to make sure that it's not gonna yeah, of course. And Schmidt, uh, how's bizarro doing, give us an update on your brother. He sleeps too much. He fucking eats or drinks, grape fruit juice, or grape juice. Uh, two at a time, every day he goes to the store, buys to Welch's grape juice, drinks it all day long, little bits at a time and he's diabetic.
And then he goes to sleep for the rest of. I mean, that sounds wild, but he also does the cans now. So what's he doing on the cans? He goes in day in and day out and you're doing something like that instead of him, at least he's getting up and he's getting out and he's moving around right there. But like, is that the end of like, am I going to collect cans for the rest of my life?
Am I, am I going to like, stay in the sober living and try to help people for the rest of my life and not help myself? I mean, I kept putting myself in a position where I can help anybody. Like I need to, like, I need to be where I need to get to. I mean, Believe God has a much better, bigger plan for me. But if I don't want to, if I'm not doing anything about it, to succeed in what it is that I want to succeed in that I'm just going to stay where I'm at.
And I am going to level, because part of this, what I'm seeing coming in here this morning is letting like, yeah, I get on this motherfucker. I tell you, yeah. You know what, whatever you want to feel happened to them. But you, you, you, you know, you, you, as the listener could put some things together and you could be like, oh, well that's a cop out.
That's an excuse. That ain't shit. You should have done it this way. You should've done it that way. Everything's going to happen the way it happened. I can't change nothing. I'm not going to go back in the fucking hands at the time and change the clock wrong. I'm going to come straight forward. Well, this is what I want to hear.
Some music like rap up music, all shows over. I want to say, yeah, I'm saying we do you. We gave you way more time than we give normal people because we've got other guests. No, no, no, no. Big lab straight up again, props to you for coming in and telling you story. Uh, I didn't even get to the point. I think you did.
Well, Schmidt said something kind of weird. What did you say Schmidt? He said we got more time be you live with enough time to get nice saying doctor the point Schmidt what he's saying? I didn't even get to the point. I was like, what were we talking to then the whole time? You know, let you know. I don't want to say this.
I wanna, I do, man. I, I want is I, I, I, if you coming in Bri, so what do you feel you went, I want to say with the listening to this, is that a part two?
I know that you went through something I'm going to, I'm going to get serious and a Mo and something that something happened through this last and you express it to me on a one-on-one or I want to remind you of bro, is that I've known you for quite some time. Now I've been with you in adversity. I've been with you when things, when the chips were down, I've been with you looking at a possible third strike.
I've been with you. Uh, when you got shot up scene, you shot up with holes in you, man. I've seen you homeless I've and you face these things. I've seen you fucking in the worst, worst, and you've had to overcome all this in 58 years. I want you to remember bro, who you are through all this. That you are one of the strongest, most resilient human beings I've ever known.
And you've got a good heart, man. Just keep in perspective. Whatever's happening right now. Just keep it in perspective. Don't let it get too big because you've had to cross and get through huge things, man. And I commend you for being here and I believe in you and we support you brothers and I'm right now, I'm at a point too right now where I'm the last week, man.
It was like, it was one more time, you know, and that, and I got through it, you know, and I hopefully, you know how it's set up and hopefully as I leave and I leave, and this is what I want to leave, listen to whether I'm going to leave you with this. It's like the whole, you know, that, like I say, we could come back and you could do another part too.
Or we could do a LA original document. I'm number two, but it's always leave it on the platform to where I do not want to do it. Like, like, uh, uh, hard luck. Part to, uh, uh, Lebanese funeral, right? No, no, bro. We're not trying to do Memorial shore. Nah. And do that, but let me tell you, so, so then, so I want to leave the listener with this and I wanted them to know that if there's any concern or care, if you have a sincere prayer, I need a prayer meeting.
These are prayer. We all in the circle, man, we all need some type of something that's above us as humans that we need to put above and just trust that something bigger and something better is going to happen for us, without us taking the opportunity to do it on our own. So this is where I'm going to do, right?
This is the first time on the show that everybody bow your heads and close your eyes. You can keep the music going. Sean, thank you, dear heavenly father, the big power that is funneling and pushing everything that goes forward. We are. We are seeking. We're in treating you to protect big, left, key, to protect Schmitty and to protect everyone else on his show.
Big lefty, sun, and big Lemke sign. Please bathe them in the light of your goodness and strength. Please help us to choose a different path. Please help us to keep our minds open to a new alternative. Please watch over us and please help us to be of service to those in need around us. Let us think about others instead of thinking just about ourselves, please protect big lucky everyone in his family.
Please send your love in light on Schmidt. And God sent down some brain cells to Schmitty and listen, wait, wait, and please watch over Schwartz and please watch over old blue eyes. And I just want to say, I just want to say that in God's name, I pray for a blessing for everyone here. Okay. Amen. Amen. And feeling like we do about this time.
Next time deals Amigos.
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