Is it just a "bad week," or is it something deeper? In this episode of Harder To Breathe, we explore the often-confusing line between sadness and clinical depression, and how to recognize the signs of anhedonia (the inability to feel pleasure).

Ryan shares a profound experience seeing Alanis Morissette live, sparking a conversation about trauma, the #MeToo movement, and shifting from "writing hits" to authentic expression. Co-host Brian "Duck" Maillard opens up about his personal battle with anhedonia (the inability to feel pleasure) and describes exactly what depression feels like physically compared to anxiety.

We also dive deep into the psychology of legacy—would you rather be remembered for your accolades or your character? Brian "Duck" Maillard opens up about his recent battles with depression, while we tackle the importance of becoming "untriggerable" by using principles from The Four Agreements. Finally, we touch on the current political climate, finding cautious optimism, and the importance of empathy in a polarized world.

👇 Let us know in the comments: How do you distinguish between just having a "bad day" and feeling truly depressed? What helps you pull yourself out of it?

🎧 In this episode, we cover:

00:00 - Intro 07:48 - The Alanis Morissette Effect 15:47 - Legacy 27:04 - The Four Agreements 37:18 - Depression vs. Sadness 46:40 - A glimmer of hope? Navigating politics, polarization, and finding common ground. 58:00 - The danger of "playing it safe" vs. standing on your principles.

🎧 Listen to the full episode now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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On May 7, 2019, Ellie Wyse was a high school freshman with an hour left in her day when a routine drill turned into an active shooter situation.

In this powerful and essential conversation, Ellie bravely recounts her experience surviving the STEM School Highlands Ranch shooting and the complex realization that one of the perpetrators was a peer. She shares the aftermath of the trauma, the unexpected loneliness of the subsequent COVID-19 lockdown (which she says was harder to process than the shooting itself), and her path to healing through EMDR therapy.

Now a psychology major, Ellie is turning her survival story into purpose, aiming to become a counselor to fill the critical mental health gap for teenagers affected by violence.

Key Takeaways from the Conversation:

• When a Drill Isn't a Drill: Ellie describes the chilling moment she realized the prolonged lockdown was real and how the fear was compounded by snipers surrounding the building.
• The Second Trauma: Ellie explains why the COVID-19 lockdown was worse than the shooting trauma—it was a two-year period of unknown, isolation, and the destruction of the progress she had made with her anxiety and depression.
• Healing with EMDR: Ellie gives the clearest explanation of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy—how it moves a traumatic memory from the emotional brain (amygdala) to the long-term memory (hippocampus), making it manageable.
• Guns vs. Mental Health: We discuss the importance of mental health intervention, especially when concerning signs are reported, and the responsibility to treat—not stigmatize—mental health issues seriously.
• Redemption Through Purpose: Ellie shares why she views her trauma as a gift that has given her direction and passion, allowing her to serve as a voice of hope for others.

📌 Episode Guide

• 00:00 - Intro
• 17:30 - Early Life & Faith
• 21:10 - The Day of the Shooting
• 26:00 - Finding Out Who the Shooter Was
• 30:45 - The Mental Health Intervention Debate
• 33:50 - The Immediate Aftermath
• 38:20 - Therapy & the Golden Retriever
• 39:35 - The Non-Linear Healing Process
• 45:30 - Finding Her Calling
• 47:00 - The Trauma of COVID-19 Lockdown

🎧 Listen to the full episode now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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This is not a conspiracy theory; it's a mental health crisis.

Returning guest Hillary Spiritos joins the hosts for a crucial discussion on the challenges facing young people in the age of AI and pervasive social media. We explore the profound effects of the algorithm—a system so isolating it mirrors the environment of a cult or a totalitarian state—and how it's fueling a loneliness epidemic and widespread cynicism.

Hillary offers guidance on how parents and peers can foster critical thinking and authentic connection to help young people push back against the constant barrage of misinformation and isolation.

Key Takeaways from the Conversation:

• The Cult of the Algorithm: We discuss how the structure of social media (isolation, filtering information, demanding obedience) is psychologically identical to the processes used by cults and dictatorships.
• The Antidote is Connection: The way to bridge political and social divides is not more argument, but somatic experience—physically engaging with others (like at concerts or playing sports) to remind us of our shared humanity.

• The AI/Erotica Problem: The conversation addresses the dangers of generative AI leaning into erotica, which furthers disconnection by providing immediate pleasure without the need for real human connection or the work of giving and receiving.

• Avoiding Numbness: The most cynical outcome is total desensitization (the Idiocracy effect). We must maintain our awareness that the current crisis is driven by greed, power, and the illusion of a quick fix.

📌 Episode Guide

00:00 - Intro 12:30 - "That Saves Me Time": The Double-Edged Sword of AI for Research and Creativity. 30:45 - "Question Everyone": Hillary's Advice on Fostering Critical Thinking in a Manipulative Digital World 44:30 - The Need for Boredom 46:25 - The AI & Erotica Danger 50:08 - The Male Loneliness Epidemic 52:45 - Dating App Distortion 1:03:13 - Somatic Connection Over Words 1:15:35 - No More Quick Fixes

🎧 Listen to the full episode now:

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This is an unvarnished look at the path to recovery. Ryan reconnects with his old friend, musician Davis Rowan, whom he met at the Betty Ford Center. Davis shares his powerful story of how alcohol, which once felt like a "solution" to social anxiety, became a destructive force, culminating in a terrifying diagnosis of Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS) during a severe bender.

This conversation goes beyond mere sobriety to explore the deeper rewards of recovery: finding genuine community, cultivating new passions (like ultra-marathoning), and using lived experience to fuel a new purpose as a music school owner.

Davis's story is a testament to the fact that you can not only survive addiction but thrive beyond it.

Key Takeaways from the Conversation:

• The Solution That Wasn't: Both Ryan and Davis admit that alcohol initially "served" them by alleviating social anxiety and shyness, making them feel more present.
• The Body Gives a Warning: Davis shares the terrifying consequence of his addiction when he woke up unable to feel his legs due to Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS), an autoimmune disorder.
• The Power of Shared Trauma: We discuss why the bonds forged in rehab, surrounded by people who "get it," are so profoundly healing and lasting.
• Addiction Doesn't Discriminate: Davis reflects on the Betty Ford Center experience, realizing that addiction touches every demographic, emphasizing the shared human experience.
• Recovery is Service: Davis explains how working at a music school and focusing on bringing joy and community to students became a vital part of his continued sobriety.
• Extremes in Recovery: From an obsessive practice schedule to running 100-mile ultra-marathons, Davis discusses how he manages his personality's tendency toward extremes in a healthy way.

📌 Episode Guide

• 00:00 - Intro
• 24:20 - The Paradox of Addiction
• 45:20 - Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS) & Alcohol
• 47:06 - The Danger of Denial
• 55:00 - The Turning Point
• 56:10 - The Healing Power of Shared Experience
• 01:07:05 - Addict's Mind, Runner's Body
• 1:10:45 - From Touring Drummer to Music School Owner:

🎧 Listen to the full episode now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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This episode goes beyond the surface to the heart of addiction. We sit down with former tech entrepreneur Curtis Morley, whose life's purpose shifted after the tragic loss of his best friend to suicide. Curtis believes his friend didn't understand the difference between sobriety and recovery, a lesson Curtis now uses to help men combat the epidemic of pornography addiction.

Curtis bravely shares his own experience and the core principles of his "Counterfeit Emotions" program, arguing that most men aren't addicted to porn—they're addicted to shame.

Key Takeaways from the Conversation:

• The Stigma of Shame: We discuss the statistic that 91.5% of men report viewing pornography in the last month, yet most are not clinically addicted, but are trapped in a cycle of shame fueled by silence, secrecy, and judgment.
• The Counterfeit of Love: Curtis defines lust as the counterfeit of love, operating as a "taking" rather than a "giving and receiving" exchange. True intimacy is redefined as a multi-pillar connection, with sex being the result of that connection, not the foundation.
• Pain vs. Misery: Learn the transcendent difference: Pain is inevitable and can be a tool for growth, while misery is the self-inflicted anguish created by adding blame and shame to pain.
• Sobriety vs. Recovery: Sobriety only measures time; Recovery measures depth. True healing means taking your "demons to lunch"—addressing the underlying emotional pain rather than just avoiding the addictive behavior ("dry drunk").

This episode is a powerful call for honesty, vulnerability, and a deeper understanding of the emotional drivers behind addictive behavior. 📌 Episode Guide 00:00 - Intro 07:00 - Ryan Revisits a Maroon 5 Show: Gratitude, Pride, and a Son's First Concert. 16:27 - Bridging the Divide: Can We Find Common Ground Between Religion and Psychology?34:30 - The Porn Addiction Epidemic 36:30 - Porn: Addiction to Shame 38:00 - The Dyad of Love vs. Lust 46:31 - The Four Components of Unwanted Pornography Viewing 1:06:25 - Pain is a Tool for Growth 1:13:00 - The Transcendent Ladder 1:19:15 - Sobriety vs. Recovery

🎧 Listen to the full episode now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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In this vital episode, we sit down with Steve Braun, a master mental performance coach and communication consultant (and co-founder of BGB Studios). Drawing on his martial arts discipleship, Steve explains that the core of our modern mental health and societal conflict is a deep imbalance between masculine (Yang) and feminine (Yin) energies.

This conversation offers a profound perspective on how to achieve peak performance and inner peace not through action, but through stillness and radical self-acceptance.

Key Takeaways from the Conversation:

• The Power of Stillness (Yin): Steve argues that Yin (stillness, reception) is the necessary first step for impactful action (Yang). Whether you're an actor, a CEO, or a parent, full acceptance of the present moment is the quickest path to presence and success.

• Masculinity & Self-Mutilation: We explore the Bell Hooks quote that the first act of violence patriarchy demands of men is against themselves—a "psychic self-mutilation" that denies them tools for vulnerability and emotional expression.

• The Solution to Cultural Conflict: The answer isn't more intellectual debate or "data," but somatic, communal experiences—singing, dancing, and physically working through trauma together, as our ancestors did.

• Coaching Beyond the Script: Steve explains that his work isn't about teaching lines, but about liberating the nervous system, empowering clients to be brightly sensitive in a high-pressure, often chaotic world.

📌 Episode Guide

00:00 - Intro

03:30 - Drawn to the Darkness

22:00 - The "Teacher" Archetype & Martial Arts

24:40 - Masculinity & Trauma

31:50 - The Divine Feminine (Yin)

37:05 - Stillness in Business & Life

48:05 - The Bell Hooks Quote

57:05 - Creating an Artistic Home

🎧 Listen to the full episode now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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#HarderToBreathe #Podcast #Masculinity #YinYang #ToxicMasculinity #MentalHealth #MartialArts #SteveBraun #Taoism #Stillness #PeakPerformance #EmotionalIntelligence #Compassion

"How do you make a total left turn from the music industry to the mental health field?"

Ryan Dusick often fields this question, but the reality is that starting over is rarely a clean break—it's usually a long, messy process of grief and self-discovery. In this one-on-one episode, Ryan and Duck dive into the core challenges of major life transitions, from leaving a band at the peak of success to finding new purpose in your 40s.

Ryan shares his journey from losing his identity as a musician to embracing his calling as a therapist, explaining that his change was driven by a commitment to recovery and the realization that his greatest talents were anchored in empathy and connection.

This is essential listening for anyone who is:

• Feeling unfulfilled in their current career, but are afraid to quit.

• Mourning the loss of a past identity (career, relationship, status).

• Facing an unexpected life change and needing motivation to move forward.

The biggest risk isn't trying something new; it's staying still in a life you're unhappy with.

📌 Episode Guide

• 00:00 - Intro

• 01:05 - The Rush Reunion

• 10:45 - The "Left Turn" Identity Crisis

• 16:15 - The Completionist Mindset

• 19:15 - Grieving Your Old Self

• 24:50 - Finding New Purpose

• 28:10 - The Fear of the Unknown

• 42:15 - The Creative Niche

• 46:55 - The Obligation to Quit

• 55:50 - The Riskiest Choice is Doing Nothing

🎧 Listen to the full episode now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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This week, hosts Ryan Dusick and Brian "Duck" Maillard tackle the ultimate double-edged sword: perfectionism. Ryan shares his incredibly vulnerable journey of realizing that his quest for perfection ultimately led to stagnation—a "rock bottom" in his professional life after leaving Maroon 5.

Perfectionism, often mistaken for a strength, is revealed as a self-defeating mindset that blocks progress by holding you to an unattainable ideal. The solution? A crucial shift to the pursuit of excellence, which accepts the necessity of setbacks, learning, and growth as part of the process.

This one-on-one deep dive is packed with relatable moments, from the pressures of performing on a massive stage to the simple struggle of getting a good take on a self-tape audition.

Key Takeaways from the Conversation:

• Excellence is a Process, Perfection is an Illusion: Excellence is a journey of continuous improvement, accepting that "good enough" is sometimes necessary to maintain momentum. Perfection is a stagnant, unattainable ideal that guarantees failure.
• The Power of Lofty Goals & Realistic Expectations: Set high standards, but align your expectations with your current time, energy, and resources. This prevents perfectionism from becoming the "enemy of the good."
• Overcoming Stagnation: Ryan recounts the period when his perfectionism blocked him from even starting a passion project (his book). The path forward involved getting sober, accepting challenges as opportunities rather than threats, and learning to surrender to the process.
• More is Better than None: The principle of progress applies to everything from fitness goals to creative endeavors. Don't compare your efforts to an ideal; acknowledge that some is always better than none.

Stop letting perfectionism shoot you in the foot. Start celebrating the progress on your journey toward excellence!

📌 Episode Guide

00:00 - Intro 01:40 - Go-Karts & Jet Lag 07:38 - Perfectionism: The Double-Edged Sword 23:00 - The Imposter Syndrome Threshold 28:00 - The James Brown Influence 33:50 - Perfectionism's Rock Bottom 37:35 - The Book as an Exercise in Flow 46:15 - The "Some is Better Than None" Mindset

🎧 Listen to the full episode now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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Your natural instinct is to fix it, but what if your efforts are making the problem worse?

We sit down with Addiction Expert Amber Hollingsworth, founder of the huge "Put the Shovel Down" community, who offers a revolutionary approach to family addiction recovery. Amber specializes in teaching family members how to stop enabling and break the cycle of blame that fuels addiction. This is essential listening for anyone who loves someone struggling with substance abuse.

In this powerful episode, you'll learn:

The "Villain" Role: Why the person with addiction often needs a family member to play the villain—and how to quit that role immediately.

Support vs. Enabling: Amber shares her simple formula to know if you're truly helping or unknowingly enabling your loved one.

The Power of Pre-Contemplation: Learn how to influence change before they hit rock bottom by using empathy to unlock their inner motivation.

Control is a Fallacy: Ryan and Amber discuss how giving up control is the crucial first step for both the addicted individual and their family.

Stop digging a deeper hole. Start building a path to recovery.

Episode Guide

00:00 - Welcome & Guest Intro

20:20 - Amber's Approach

22:00 - The "Villain Role"

25:40 - "Put the Shovel Down" Difference

30:30 - The Rock Bottom Question

34:00 - Reversing Family Dynamics

36:00 - Finding Internal Motivation

41:20 - Giving Up Control to Gain Control 4

8:20 - Support vs. Enabling Line

52:30 - "Put the Shovel Down" Meaning

55:00 - Addiction as Shame Spiral

01:01:20 - Amber's Origin Story

01:14:30 - Future Goals

🎧 Listen now: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Or wherever you get your podcasts

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In one of our most powerful episodes yet, actress and mental health advocate Sarah Gilman opens up about her deeply personal journey—self-harm, a suicide attempt in college, and the remarkable path that led her to become a voice for suicide prevention. She explains why suicide isn't about wanting to die, but about wanting to escape an intolerable pain.

This is a raw and honest conversation that will leave you feeling seen, understood, and inspired.

Here's what you'll learn:

✨ The misunderstood functions of self-harm — Sarah shares the three core reasons people self-harm: as a coping mechanism, for manipulation, and as self-punishment.

✨ Why we fear talking about suicide — We break down the myth that asking about suicide puts the idea in someone's head, and why opening the door can be lifesaving.

✨ The right way to offer support — What to say (and what not to say) to someone who's struggling, and why empathy matters more than trying to "fix" things.

✨ Hope in the darkest moments — Sarah shares the incredible story of a sign that changed her life and led her to her advocacy work with Didi Hirsch.

This conversation is a testament to the power of vulnerability and a reminder that—even in your darkest moments—you are not alone.

📌 Episode Guide 00:00 – Intro 13:15 – A Trigger Warning for Today's Conversation 16:10 – Interview Begins: Meet Sarah Gilman 28:28 – The Path to a Mental Health Decline 35:08 – An Honest Look at Self-Harm 49:10 – HIGHLIGHT: The Stigma and the Cry for Help 1:00:10 – What NOT to Say to Someone Who Is Hurting 1:06:15 – How Understanding Your Brain Can Save Your Life 1:11:30 – The Suicide Attempt: "I Didn't Want to Die" 1:17:27 – "The Sign": Finding Didi Hirsch 1:24:40 – The Origin of the First Suicide Prevention Center

⚠️ If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call or text 988. Help is available 24/7.

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