The Human Centipod

Carmen and John embark on a journey from a dock in Southern Virginia, immersing themselves in the heart of 'Trump Country.' The locals exude hospitality, yet they uncover subtle 'tells' that unveil their allegiance to almighty Dayglow Donny. Next, the duo delve into a gripping movie review of 'Alice in Borderland' on Netflix. Transitioning gears (not genders. Gears. Calm down.), C & J introduce their very own sleuth, Johnlock Homies, who takes on the challenge of decoding the enigma that is his archnemesis: Carmenoriarity. In English: After spending a week with her family, John attempts to decipher the array of quirks and complexities that define Carmen's world.

Carmen and John venture into the world of Barbie, joined by Carmen's 18-year-old niece. The trio dive into discussions about the recent movie, dissecting both its charm and its criticisms, including a random tweet from Bill Maher. Broadcasting from a beach house retreat, the hosts navigate a sea of fun, featuring a plethora of old-school video game consoles, quirky marine encounters with jellyfish and stingrays. Meanwhile, back in Queens, people are now getting eaten by sharks as more proof the world can’t end fast enough. The episode finally takes an insightful turn as Carmen's niece shares her aspirations for a future major in tourism, shedding light on a new generation's perspective and dreams. But don’t worry, there’s still the occasional curse word and the random dumb song.

Hold onto Uranus, because Carmen and John are back with an episode that's out of this world! Prepare to have your conspiracy-loving minds blown as the duo dives into the recent mind-boggling UFO findings – yes, you heard it right, alien tech that's so advanced, even our microwaves are feeling insecure (thanks for that one, Chat GPT). But here's the kicker, folks: while extraterrestrial gear is making cameo appearances in all our lives, turns out, no one really gives a cosmic hoot! But fear not, we're not just probing Area 51 today; we're also giving Congress a much needed prostate exam as we walk you through a roll call of oldies in government – from McConnell's poker face to Biden's aviator sunglasses, and don't even get us started on Feinstein's secret stash of... cough drops? (You’re on a roll, Chat GPT!). And that's just the appetizer, because we're cranking up the weird meter with a mysterious Movie Review that's so spine-tinglingly hilarious, we legally can't even mention the name in this synopsis! Then it’s a smorgasbord of climate change topics from melting dead hikers to nature's culinary delights. Remember: the truth is out there, but so is the laughter! (Okay, Chat, you dropped the ball on that one.)

Ever wondered what happens when movie genres collide? The Centipodders got the scoop as they dive into a movie review of "Happy Death Day," where Groundhog Day meets horror! It's more kooky than spooky. Then, buckle up for Carmen's wild workout struggles with rock climbing - it's no walk in the park, boy howdy! At one point, John thinks he's a genius when he comes up with a climbing comedy premise, but is he really? (Answer: yes.) Next, Carmen spills the beans on her obsession with "American Ninja Warrior," and trust us, it's ninja-tastic (just like that wordplay was wordplay-arvelous)! Finally, get ready for some goofs 'n' giggles as Carmen spills the beans on her American comedy special and the awkwardness of listening to yourself while editing yourself - we've all been there! BONUS: You, the listener, are beautiful.

In this uproarious episode, Carmen and John go haywire now that SAG and the WGA are striking together - especially since the discovery of sneaky studio execs who plan to wait out for broke writers to lose their homes. Those nasty crumb-bums! But fear not, thanks to SAG, the picket lines are looking fabulously fierce. Meanwhile, John's sail rises from a recent "Castaway"-like news story, and Carmen's second comedy special has her battling the funny flu...again. Finally, hold on tight as Carmen takes you to a music and comedy festival called CRUILLA in Barcelona, where the jokes and melodies collide for an unforgettable hermosa noche of ha-ha's (we mean JA JA's!) 

The great Phoebe Robinson sits with the duo for a full-ep interview. The comedian, actress, and New York Times best-selling writer discusses where she was quarantined at the beginning of Covid and how it impacted her relationships. Also filming her movie, “Ibiza” and how much sleep she lost. That’s about when John shows up due to running late thanks to the WGA strike (and oversleeping). MORE: Carmen and Phoebe swap comedy stories, talk Bill Murray’s new girlfriend, what it was like for Phoebe to interview Michelle Obama FIVE times, and how all the comedy career rules are constantly changing. PLUS info on how to get tix for Phoebe’s new tour “Messy AF.”

The duo gives a Writer’s Strike update. Those evil studios are starting to cancel shows, specifically signaling buyer’s remorse for activist shows like “Dear White People.” Wow. You mean corporations DON'T care about people and ideals and equality and ONLY care about money? Huh. Then Carmen and John talk about their time together in Philly prepping for Carmen's special (already taped - thanks to all who attended! More news on that in the coming weeks). Carmen also has a story about her Uber driver when she was in Dallas. John was in Michigan for his niece's graduation on a hot early summer day from the comfort of his air-conditioned hotel room.

In this episode, the Centipod welcomes guest, Lane Moore: comedian, author, Tinder Show Host! Lane talks about her new book, "You Will Find Your People: How to Make Meaningful Friendships as an Adult.” Carmen and John learn a lot from Lane about a topic they know very little about: friendship. Lane goes over not only how to make friends as an adult, but also how to keep them, and, above all, how to have meaningful friendships. Lane also discusses her very popular traveling stage, "Tinder Live" and gets into all the rip-off versions out there. Everyone should check out this show, but BUYER BEWARE -make sure you've got tix to the original! Also in this ep, be on the  "listen out" for a gas leak - and for once it has nothing to do with John.

Carmen swears to John she didn't get a butt lift and never will. Then she talks about recent anti-aging facials which she thinks are dumb, but Carmen will do anything to look younger ON HER SPECIAL. DID WE MENTION CARMEN LYNCH IS SHOOTING A COMEDY SPECIAL (see her website for detes!) Then the duo talk about the difference between therapy and Mel Robbins. (HINT: therapy is talking about your feelings but Mel is about ACTING on them!) Also John can't stand Mel's voice so doesn't listen to her. MOVIE REVIEW: Crap starring Stephen Merchant. Also John gives a WGA strike update including how long he thinks it will go for and why all show business problems can be blamed on Harvard comedy writers. Bitter much? Answer: Yes.

Carmen's not that kind of "special" (yes she is), but she IS taping TWO comedy specials and she shares all of the details and psychotic thoughts she's having about that. Then the duo discusses a recent article about Joe Rogan's new comedy club and John coins the term "digital speakeasy" and your dumb ears are there to witness it. Carmen also recounts her week performing at Brad Garrett's comedy club at the MGM in Vegas and the amazing blast she had - and Brad was there and he's the best! EVERYBODY LOVES BRAD, YOU MEAN! BONUS: A special guest drops by (but it's not Brad).