The Innovative Therapist

Episode 116. Today’s episode was a super interesting conversation with Sharon Depcinski, LMSW. Sharon is a Certified Sex Therapist and wonderful human being (that I actually got to meet in person a few hours after our conversation at a local therapist meetup!).

Sharon reached out to me to share a newer therapy modality she was learning called TRIP, Trauma Regulation and Integration Processing which is a modality developed by Monique Hoving-Smeets.

From there, we chatted about the fact that she's a certified sex therapist and the important of this topic (which we have never discussed on the podcast yet!), and her personal and professional interest in exploring neurodivergence and how crucial this can be for people to experience true healing.

To be honest, I'm still processing all the information in this conversation and I believe it's incredibly important in many, many ways.

What to Expect in this Episode

Sharon shares her journey to doing the work she does today, which includes taking a human sexuality class at Central Michigan University but soon realizing that West Michigan wasn't quite ready for her to do sex therapy in those early years...

What is sex therapy? Why should we care about it? (and everyone should!)

What is desire differential in couples and is it normal?

Her winding path as an LMSW for 25 years, and how only in recent 1-2 years has she discovered that both she and her partner are neurodivergent

Sharon's diagnosis with ADHD at age 49 and how that's impacted her as a therapist and otherwise

Sharon's partner's diagnosis of autism, and how she felt shame that she "should have known" and why she chooses to share their story

The role of neurodivergence and Sharon's hunch about how common it is

The role of understanding perimenopause and menopause in understanding our physical and psychological symptoms

Why swearing makes Sharon a better therapist and the sign she has about swearing in her office (that I totally want now!)

Why Sharon pursued Trauma Regulation and Integration Process (TRIP) training and her experience with beginning to learn this modality

And so much more!

Seriously, y'all. If this conversation doesn't get you thinking differently about a few things, I don't know what will.

Can't wait for you to check it out!

Resources Mentioned

Trauma Regulation and Integration Process (TRIP) training: https://relationshipworx.newzenler.com/professional-home

Neurodivergent Conversations podcast: https://www.divergentpod.com/

Emily Nagoski's website

Join the Innovative Therapist Book Club Today!

Want to learn about the Top 4 books I wish I had read many years ago that have shifted my view of healing and human relationships?

Download the free guide today to find out – I bet some of them will surprise you! You can grab it at DrHondorp.com/Books

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 115. Today's episode was another "this sounds like a fun idea" that quickly came to fruition. I logged into the YouTube TV app on my phone and saw that the Oprah Special on the weight loss GLP-1 meds was being recorded.

The show was titled: An Oprah Special: Shame, Blame and the Weight Loss Revolution

I watched a little bit of it, but then decided to come back and watch the recording the next day. I quickly sent a Voxer text to Dr. Kim Daniels to ask if she was watching and if so, if she wanted to record a podcast episode about it.

Mainly, I noticed quickly in the part that I watched that very little focus was put on the potential root causes of the food noise. I thought, "this would be fun to review with Kim" and so here we are.

What to Expect in this Episode

Kim and I have a conversation about our general impressions of the TV special including some of the many things we believe they failed to address

In the episode we try to be as un-biased as possible, but we recognize we have major biases and a lot of privilege that impacts how we approach this situation

We talk about some of the aspects we wish were discussed and how we had hoped for a more balanced conversation

We talk about the concept of obesity as a disease and also the statements like "release the shame" and our thoughts on these nuanced topics

We also talk about how Internal Family Systems theory can help us understand the many strong opinions as it relates to these topics, and how an IFS approach could really be useful as we are trying to truly examine root causes

We talk a bit about the concept of food noise and early relationships with food and how they might contribute to symptoms as an adult

My hope and belief is that this conversation is not pro or anti medication, but simply an expansion on the aspects of weight loss and these controversial medications coming from two psychologists

Join the Innovative Therapist Book Club Today!

Want to learn about the Top 4 books I wish I had read many years ago that have shifted my view of healing and human relationships?

Download the free guide today to find out - I bet some of them will surprise you! You can grab it at DrHondorp.com/Books

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 114. This week's episode is special. I was on the Mastermind Parenting podcast with Randi Rubenstein, my beloved parent coach recently. And the convo was so good, that we are replaying it here.

So if you want to learn a little more about my story and how I got here, and hear me chat about it with one of the people who have been most influential in getting me here, this episode is for you!

What to Expect in this Episode

What to Expect in this episode:

Some of my training and background and what I thought I was going to do for a career

When I learned about IFS and what continues to keep me aligned and pursuing training in it

How Randi has used it and is still using it, and a discussion about our understanding of it

How our relationship is very "power with" dynamic and how parenting, and therapy can often be a "power over" model and how that can be less helpful and even harmful at times

How watching Randi coach has shifted my view of how healing happens and my role as a therapist

A story about shifting my relationship with one of my protector parts recently (I got teary sharing this one!)

And more!

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 113. This week's episode is all about my first 4 days of my Internal Family Systems Level 1 training! So if you're curious about what this IFS thing is, what the training is like, if it's worth the wait and the money, and what I'm learning, this episode is for you!

What to Expect in this episode:

My process with finding IFS and the long process of finally getting into a Level 1 training!

The roller coaster that took me and on how I felt when I got it, versus how I feel now

What the schedule of the training looked like

The overall impact for me so far

Main takeaways and lessons

An example of one of my protector parts and how a 10 minute exercise with a new therapist learning IFS shifted things dramatically for me

How you can begin to explore IFS and my recommendations after exploring it for almost 2 years

And more!

Other Mentors & Resources Mentioned

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute Online Learning Options

My very candid conversation called "What your therapist really thinks..." with Randi Rubenstein on the Mastermind Parenting podcast

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!

This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.

This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Sign up today to use this innovative tool!

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 112. It's official. It is here. This week's episode is all about the new podcast, The Innovative Therapist Podcast. This name and shifting of the podcast reflects my internal shifts, and who I am becoming and permission for all of us to think more creatively with regards to how we think about healing. In this episode, I will tell you what to expect in the new podcast. What will be different and what will be the same. I will also share how I am different, and some of the experiences and people that led to those shifts.

I cannot wait to share it with you!

What to Expect in this episode:

My reason for changing the name of the podcast to The Innovative Therapist Podcast

Who it is geared towards (FYI: it isn't just for therapists, but for anyone interested in thinking deeply and creatively about innovative approaches to healing)

Why I am probably not going to be recording in the same space anymore, and why

How the shifts you see in this podcast and other aspects of my business reflect internal shifts happening in me, and me learning to listen to and trust my body more and more (aka "walking the walk," if you will)

What to expect in the future (e.g., more interviews with therapists who have paved their way and began doing meaningful work outside of the traditional 1 on 1 client work, among other creative guests and solo topics), more interviews with therapists and other professionals willing to challenge the status quo and question our traditional way of doing things (e.g., like my conversation with Dr. Adia Gooden a long time ago where we talked about sharing about ourselves as psychologists and how it's so different than what we learned to do in training)

The book I'm reading right now, Decolonizing Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Mullan, and what I'm learning from it so far and how it's helping me think creatively about our role as helping professionals and some of the reasons the traditional therapy model never felt quite right to me (and how this book is adding to the learning I got from reading Decolonizing Wellness by Dalia Kinsey, Check out my conversation with Dalia Kinsey to explore this)

How and why I'll be continuing to explore evidence-based approaches as well as other "alternative" healing modalities (with less official research backing, but equally as important explore with an open mind)

What I'm thinking in terms of the motivation questions at the end, and the music for the podcast, and how I'm letting a lot of this evolve naturally (and how incredibly different that is from my prior approaches)

Things coming up in my world that I'm excited about! The Innovative Therapist Retreat Oct 7-10th in Norton Shores, Michigan, Local Outdoor Therapist Meetups in West Michigan, sign up for updates here! DrHondorp.com/Meetups, and other community building online offerings coming soon!

Other Mentors & Resources Mentioned

Natalie Miller and The Mind Witchery podcast

Randi Rubenstein and Mastermind Parenting

What is The Innovative Therapist Podcast All About?

The Innovative Therapist podcast is for you if you want honest conversations about what works and what doesn't for learning to trust our bodies and doing deeply healing work (for our clients and ourselves)

It's about having honest conversations with therapists and other professionals about their journeys and how they learned to listen to themselves and pursue work that felt deeply meaningful and energizing to them

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!

This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.

This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Sign up today to use this innovative tool!

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 111. I just loved this conversation with Natalie Deering. Natalie is the host of the podcast That Wellness Podcast which is a podcast she started in February 2023 and she's already had some incredible guests including Dr. Richards Schwartz, Dr. Frank Anderson, and many others.

We had a great conversation about many things, but Natalie really does a great job breaking down 3 different ways to connect with Parts of you, and how to do it, with some tangible next steps and resources.

I also found it fascinating the ways she's decided what to focus on in her business, so make sure you listen closely to that part.

In this episode, we cover:

Natalie's journey as a therapist, how she came to IFS, and her process with deciding to start her amazing podcast, That Wellness Podcast where she's invited guests like Dr. Richard Schwartz, Dr. Frank Anderson and many more!

What she loves most about her podcast

How she decided to have a podcast first, versus focusing on some of the other ideas she had for work outside of 1 to 1 therapy (e.g., retreats, workshops, ketamine-assisted psychotherapy)

3 different ways to connect with Parts with different types of meditation (including Natalie's free walking path meditation linked here)

How she helped shift her therapy note writing from a should to a choose to

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!

This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.

This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Sign up today to use this innovative tool!

Who Is Natalie Deering?

Natalie Deering is a licensed mental health provider at her private practice, ND Wellness Psychological Services in Fort Thomas KY. She specializes in working with people who have complex trauma, anxiety, and stress using internal family systems therapy (IFS).

Natalie is the host of the IFS informed wellness podcast, That Wellness Podcast with Natalie Deering: Internal Family Systems with a Twist, where she interviews amazing people within the wellness field, IFS, and everything in between.

Natalie helps clients build resilience by gaining access to their inner healing potential. She incorporates internal family systems therapy with meditation, skills building, and movement. Natalie also provides wellness workshops for businesses and their employees, guided meditations, and restorative yoga sessions.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 110. On this week's podcast, we talk to Pooja Arora who you are going to absolutely love. (Peyton, my intern who edits the podcast says it was one of her favorite episodes ever).

Even though I feel really excited about this episode, a part of me is definitely anxious.

Why?

Because on the podcast, we talk about a variety of methods of healing that aren't all unequivocally supported by rigorous scientific research.

We talk on the episode about interventions like Emotional Freedom Technique (aka EFT Tapping), Neurolinguistic Programming, among other interventions, including my personal experience with trying some of these methods out.

Basically, there is research supporting some of the methods above, but how well it works compared to other methods, and why it works is not totally clear.

And the world I come from, the western psychological research world, tends to frown up such things... :)

Navigating the nuance

And although a part of me is worried about what you will think of me, the truth is I believe we need to have more conversations about methods outside the traditionally accepted, 100% unequivocally supported by randomized controlled trials, track.

I love science and research.

And, it has major flaws and limitations.

The truth is, that traditional methods of healing leave many of us struggling, suffering, and sometimes spending years not getting the healing results we crave.

The reality is I've always been open to other methods, even if I have many skeptical parts that come along for the ride.

And as Pooja says in today's interview, those skeptical parts are allowed. They can join.

And if you could get relief for a physical or emotional symptom that's been plaguing you for years in a few sessions, would your interest be piqued?

I know mine was.

The Power of Intuition

Pooja Arora is someone that I was introduced to through my parent coach Randi Rubenstein.

She did some work with some of the other moms in the group, indvidiually and in a group setting and people were getting great results.

Some of the results she has gotten for others are outlined in our conversation and some in her bio in this week's ​blog post​.

When we connected, she shared that she has dealt with a lot of her own body image concerns, and overcome a lot in that area, despite really persistent shaming and bullying throughout her life.

At that point, I knew I had to have her on. She does her own work, has gotten great results for herself and others, and what I'm realizing more and more is that it's much more about the person delivering the healing modality, and your trust and belief in them, than even the method itself.

This was truly a great conversation. So without further ado, here's what you can expect in my conversation with Pooja:

How Pooja got relief from debilitating stomach pain and infection after trying all the things, in just 2 transformational sessions

Her experiences growing up in India and her experiences with persistent bullying about her body and appearance, and the ways she has overcome this

Pooja's MANY areas of specialty and 20 different certifications, including but not limited to Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Neurolinguistic Programming, Past Life Regression, Reiki, and many more

The techniques that were most helpful to her in healing trauma and body shame

What Emotional Freedom Tapping (EFT) was developed for (bringing relief to Vietnam veterans)

What an EFT session could look like to help resolve body shame triggers

How psychotherapy can be synergistic with EFT

The story of how Pooja helped me to release a very difficult experience from when I was a young child, and how several months later my current reaction is very different to the same trigger

And much more!

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!

This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.

This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Sign up today to use this innovative tool!

Who Is Pooja Arora?

Pooja Arora has been a student of spiritual healing practices for over 18 years. She has worked with over 800 clients including celebrities, CEOs, government officials, and clients of all walks of life and every age group. Through their work together her clients discover their deepest self-love and most abundant lives. 

Her journey into the art and science of healing from within began at a young age, as she was always fascinated with the mind and its ability to create our reality. In her 20s she began experiencing debilitating stomach pain. After spending years and thousands of dollars on doctors to find the cause and cure, she turned to past life regression and was cured after two sessions.

After witnessing what was to her, a personal miracle, she dove deeply into the study of spiritual healing.

Areas of specialization:

Pain Management – resolved pain in a few sessions for over 300 clients, many of whom have had surgeries scheduled that they were able to cancel.

Body image and weight management - Through her own challenges of body image and weight she has discovered ways and protocols to help embrace yourself completely leading to success with weight management in the most gentle way possible. Knowing and accepting that healthy doesn’t always mean skinny has been a game changer for many of her clients.

Divorce - 100s of clients have used her guidance during major life changes such as divorce, discovering their most loving and productive path forward.

Anxiety for Young People & Children – relieved test anxiety, sports performance self-doubt, as well as other fears and phobias, for clients as young as five years old, enabling children to reach their potential

Modalities:

Though Pooja has certifications in over 20 different healing modalities, these are some she employs most often:

• EFT – Pooja is internationally known for her ability to customize and employ EFT tapping methods. Through tapping her clients report complete neutralization to traumatic past events, reversed limiting beliefs, and relief from chronic pain.

• NLP – with this modality clients including business leaders and caretakers can reframe their thinking in ways that drastically change life outcomes. 

• Hypnosis – extremely helpful for weight loss, Pooja has seen over 30 clients experience substantial weight loss.

Never limiting herself or her clients, Pooja is certified in the following techniques and employs them on an individual need basis:

Reiki | Advanced Emotional Freedom Techniques | Inner Child Healing | Past Life Regression | Life Between Life | Advanced Imagery | Child Hypnosis | ADHD Management | Anxiety Management | Weight Loss Hypnosis | Smoking Cessation | Sports Performance Hypnosis | Trauma Recovery | Bach Flower Remedies | Advanced Pendulum Healing | Angel Tarot | Advanced Practitioner for Neurolinguistic Programming

Pooja’s clients experience deep transformation which they have described as anything from life-transforming, to life-saving. Witnessing people rediscover their innate talents, superpowers, and strength is what drives her to continue her work as a spiritual healer. 

How to Inquire about Services with Pooja

Go to her website: www.createurmagic.com

The best way to contact her is through text at 832-870-7239!

Instagram link here.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 109. Kate block is a gem. She's a therapeutic bodyworker, yoga teacher, and fellow science lover. She's also someone who walks the walk, meaning she listens to her body and what doesn't feel right for her, and makes uncomfortable changes when necessary.

Today you get to hear her story, and a whole bunch of wisdom, and I am confident you will enjoy it as much as I did.

I am realizing more and more that something that really lights me up is finding innovative solutions for healing for both myself and my clients. Kate is a wonderful example of that because she's helped me get better in touch with my body and the lessons I've learned through somatic practices and this conversation apply to both therapists and our clients.

Kate is intuitive, and truly has a gift for this work. Oh, and fun fact, without formally learning about Internal Family Systems (IFS) she basically does Parts with with her clients because it just made sense to her.

Cool stuff, right? You're going to love this conversation, so let's dive in!

We cover:

What is bodywork and how does it differ from massage therapy?

How Kate combines the wisdom of talk therapy and bodywork to help her clients reach the next level of peace and healing

Why she reminds people that "your body is never trying to hurt you" and what she means by that

Why the question, "What do you feel in your body?" often feels hard, and how to practice embodiment

Kate's approach to meal prep (one of my favorite answers to the integrated motivation question) and how you can use this knowledge to change a "should" to a "choose to" for something you want to do, but don't really enjoy

And much more!

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!

This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.

This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Sign up today to use this innovative tool!

Who is Kate Block?

Kate Block is the founder of Little Dipper — a therapeutic bodywork and private yoga practice located in the Forest Hills area of Grand Rapids (thisislittledipper.com). Her work at Little Dipper is grounded in her belief that the most transformative massage therapy, bodywork, and movement isn’t about “fixing” anything about you or your body, it's about fostering a deeper connection to your own body and heart. Kate loves helping her clients address physical and emotional issues in a way that focuses on root causes so that they feel and live better.  She is deeply passionate about the human body, health + wellness, and a well-marbled, medium-rare ribeye. Her post-grad biology background informs both her work as a licensed massage therapist and the approach she takes in leading her clients and students in yoga and movement. For Kate, therapeutic bodywork is all about learning how to show up, connect, and move (both literally and metaphorically) from a place of alignment with your deepest, truest self.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 108. Hi all! This episode was a super fun one for me. Basically, you get to sit down and hear a conversation with my dear friend Dr. Allie Richards. In this conversation, our goal was to have an honest conversation about our career trajectories as psychologists and how we've both strayed fairly far from much of the training we got in how to conduct psychotherapy, and the truth about why.

I laughed a lot in this conversation. Allie is incredibly smart, thoughtful, and honest in this conversation and I so appreciate her coming on the podcast and having this conversation with me.

If you are a therapist or professional wanting to know more about the behind the scenes thoughts of psychologists or just a human wanting to understand two psychologists who are on the path of un-learning a lot of what we've been taught, then this conversation is for you!

What to Expect in this Interview

In this episode, we have an honest conversation about:

Places we believe psychology training gets it right, and the strengths we got from our psychology, research-focused training

Where the field is missing the mark, and how it has impacted us professionally and personally

The pros and cons of diagnosis and symptom-focused treatment

How and why we both got into Internal Family Systems and more somatic-focused psychotherapy approaches

How the line that Allie heard over and over from clients "I intellectually get that I'm not a failure, but I don't feel it" influenced her personally and professionally

The ways Internal Family Systems have allowed both Allie and Shawn to truly experience self-compassion for the first time (this point is a big one)

How Internal Family Systems helps us shift the paradigm from control to freedom

How Allie learned to enjoy cleaning her car, but no longer does so with a toothbrush

And much more!

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!

This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.

This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Sign up today to use this innovative tool!

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.

Episode 107. Hey everyone!

I just did something kinda painful.

I went back to this very large google document where I've been journaling and documenting my thoughts since I started my business in Jan 2021.

In August 2021, my grandpa had just died. I was super lucky to know all 4 of my grandparents for many years, but my grandpa was the last of the 4. I was deep in grief and trying to get my work life under control. (My overworking part was QUITE active during that first year of business).

I had written:

Remember that you are in this for the long haul. It isn’t a race. You MUST prioritize your health, no one else is going to do it for you. You cannot get this time back.

I then went on to create a schedule and a plan of when I was "allowed to work." With lots of quite rules and parameters (many of which I didn't stick to).

I wish I could go back to myself at that time and teach myself what I know now.

What I Understand Now

I now understand that parts of me were fighting with each other.

There was a part of me that deeply understood I needed to slow down, that I needed to create time and space to grieve and heal from that loss. This part knew I deserved this, and wanted to protect me from burnout, further worsening health concerns, etc. It wanted to be proactive and for me to be well.

There was also my "doing" or "overworking" part that has for so many years, coped with pain and fear by focusing on what I can control, by applying myself, creating systems, and working harder. This part is super good at "working hard now, see the gains later" (which is essentially what the online marketing world promises and I hate to admit it but I got majorly sucked in). Similar to the part above, this part is also all about being proactive and helping me "be well" in the future, because I have created a business I love that also offers me time and freedom to be with my family when I want to.

The Problem Was...

The problem? I didn't see the positive intention behind the 2nd part of me (or how it was getting tricked by master marketers telling me if I "just follow these steps, I will eventually succeed!". I had so much shame about this part of me, and yet, I couldn't stop overworking. It didn't feel safe.

So I tried methods to tamp down that part, putting parameters and trying to "control it."

Spoiler alert: Control as a strategy rarely works long-term.

The reality is, both of these parts of me had great intentions for me, and both were trying to protect me.

And what was the "doing" part's most important goal? It was trying to protect me from feelings of worthlessness. Trying to help me "achieve" enough so I would feel worthy of the love of my family.

Ironic, right? Because it often takes me away from them, both physically (because I'm off working) and emotionally (because I'm in my head, strategizing my next business move).

Where I'm At Now

Anyways, all this is to say, life is feeling a whole heckuva lot better lately.

Is it perfect? Do these parts of me never get polarized and fight anymore?

Nope.

Just recently I noticed that similar polarization.

But now I have MUCH more compassion for myself, and I navigate through it all with much more ease.

And I'm actively working on those parts of me that have felt unworthy (with help), because really, that's where the magic is. :)

An honest conversation about ...

If you enjoyed this story, you will likely enjoy this week's podcast episode, which is a conversation with my wonderful intern Peyton all about my journey thus far as an entreprenuer. The ups, the downs, and what's been so helpful to me in creating more of a sense of calm and clarity than I've ever felt as I wrap up year 3.

We cover a LOT, including:

Where I was in year 1 of the business, and where I'm at now

Some of the lessons I've learned the hard way, especially about online marketing and online courses (and how this applies to weight loss and diet culture) -- spoiler alert, there's a LOT of effective marketing in both of those spaces that is 100% BS

Podcasts and books that have been most helpful and healing to me as a therapist and business owner (and a human being)

What I'm doing for fun lately

What I am doing to connect to fun and creativity

Plans for the future (including information about potential retreats and consultation group for therapists!)

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

We offer this super cool transformational exercise that can help your clients work to understand their polarized parts, build self-trust and listen to their intuition!

This free PDF gives step-by-step instructions for doing one of my all-time favorite exercises (based on Internal Family Systems theory) to explore polarized parts. It will help clients get to know the parts of themselves without judgment, understand their intention, and create empowerment and harmony in their bodies.

This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Sign up today to use this innovative tool!

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.