The Intimate Lifestyle

One of the social contract theories is that of Thomas Hobbes’ expounded on the book Leviathan where he stated that the nature of man and life is poor, nasty, and brutish – and with how the world is currently, it is easy to think so too.

There are many other social contract theories out there that claim otherwise. John Izzo, the author of the book The Five Thieves of Happiness, debunks this claim saying that happiness is actually human’s natural state. Dr. John Izzo has over two decades worth of credentials in the field of business, leadership, success, social responsibility and happiness where he’s written books, and spoken numerous conferences and summits.

Plenty to learn and realize on this episode where we discussed leadership, happiness and what is it that prevents us from sustaining happiness and success. Specific topics we’ve covered in our conversation includes:

• Questions that boggled his mind ever since he was a young boy which served as the precursor to his book The Five Thieves of Happiness (1:23).
• The concept of leadership, not just in the corporate setting, but every facet of our lives where we can influence others in a positive way (2:31), and how his insights on leadership tie up with his perspective of happiness (4:12).
• A 10-month Sabbatical that led him to his realizations on happiness which he hasn’t quite unlocked after years of study (6:03).
• The practice of stillness, mindfulness and disconnecting which allows for a deeper understanding of things and life (8:50).
• Happiness defined through etymology, activity, as a virtue and an inner state (12:12).
• The thief which makes us believe that life is a contest of constant comparison, and how to counter it through gratitude (16:42).
• The things that Dr. John Izzo compared the state of happiness to (20:30; 38:30).
• Happiness as human’s natural state as seen in children, and the idea that humans survived and thrived because of our inherent goodness and compassion (23:34).
• The biggest thief that people struggle with, and how surrendering with curiosity instead of resisting can bring happiness (26:48).
• How another thief leads us to believe that happiness is dependent on what happens around us, when in reality, happiness and contentment is a choice, even in the face of adversity (33:16).
• How the obsession with our own story prevents us from experiencing happiness, the story of Narcissus and a game he plays with himself when this thief takes over him (40:00).
• Ways to get out of depression through kindness instead of self-serving initiatives towards happiness (44:45)
• Why human’s dependence to routine and patterns, is a thief to happiness, and examples on how this manifest (47:55).
• Dealing with the thieves by unmasking and stopping them, and replacing it with a new mindset and a personal experience when doing so helped him a lot (57:15).

This episode shifted gears a little bit and focused on personal happiness as a way to improve our relationships. Dr. John Izzo dropped so many truth bombs and statements that you’d probably need quite some time to digest and take it all in. To learn more about the five thieves of happiness, purchase his book on Amazon.

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These are the three things central to this episode and I have Lianna Walden back on the show to talk about these concepts and how they play out in real-life relationships.

Lianna is a sex and relationship coach and sexual energy healer who works on non-traditional relationships including bisexuality and non-monogamy. She connects with people, finds out about what’s happening to them sexually and uses this knowledge to help them get through their relationships and lives.

Some of the areas we’ve discussed today are:

• What her partner revealed that led into opening up their relationship and exploring non-monogamy (8:37).
• The phases of jealousy and types of fears that Lianna and her partner went through during this experimentation phase, the relationships they had, and how they worked their way through that experience (11:31).
• Tackling non-monogamy and the inevitable jealousy in the setup, and how it affects the parties involved in her workshops (19:40).
• The role threat, insecurity, and low self-esteem plays in the experience of jealousy and decoding the difference between jealousy and envy (21:11; 39:10).
• How awareness/mindfulness can make one distinguish if jealousy or whatever emotion they’re feeling is healthy or unhealthy (26:25).
• Practicing consensual decisions and communication, which leads to the gradual process towards compersion and freedom, as the healthiest path to get over the darker emotions related with jealousy (30:20; 42:25).
• The idea that you are not being loving when you are in a jealous state (39:20).
• How to slowly transition into or experience a non-traditional or non-monogamous relationship by laying out boundaries, seeing how the emotions play out, and gradually figuring out if those boundaries can be expanded through constant communication (52:20).
• Jealousy to be seen as an opportunity to explore and communicate our needs, boundaries, insecurities, understand self-love and relationships – a means to an end – instead of just seeing it as a sole negative feeling, and why I likened jealousy to brussel sprouts (53:15).
• Why jealousy can be the catalyst to create a spark and reignite passion in a relationship (1:00:23).

To connect with Lianna, you can find her at liannawalden.com or on her Facebook Page.

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If you’re interested in the art of seduction and even sex work, it is known that the allure of the Japanese Geisha is unrivaled in the erotic world. It’s an art and finesse that is not observed in most cultures – especially the Western ones – and this episode will let you have a peek at it.

Raven is a retired sex worker, who went to Japan at a young age to escape a humdrum routine she calls life. There she learned the art and trade of being a modern geisha and a high-end-escort-slash-sex-worker, under the care of a mama-san who ensures the clients treat the women in her club like princesses.

Today, Raven and I talked about the nitty gritty of the adult entertainment, escort service, and sex work. She then provides insights from both provider and client point of view of the industry.

Our conversation took us on her 15-year journey in the sex industry where we discussed:

• How she decided to leave school, her job and then partner for a Japan trip and how this supposed 3-month itinerary extended to 3 years which became her start in the adult entertainment industry (2:18).
• The transition from working at a hostess club to her introduction to escort service and sex work as a geisha (3:33; 11:51).
• The fancy setting, the princess treatment, the training on how to interact and be affectionate with clients, how to anticipate a man’s needs, and the emotional connection geishas provide their clients (; 12:39).
• The courtship and intricacies involved for a client to bring a hostess out of the club which is based on the principle of mutual respect where the mama-san and the women communicate and negotiate with the clients (16:01).
• How people's point of views and judgment is shaped by the society they grew up in, the level of acceptance of the practice of having escorts in Japan, and an instance when she was introduced to the client's wife (18:10).
• Coming back to the US, treading the escort service and sex industry, and its difference to the etiquette and safety standards upheld in Japan (5:20; 20:25).
• Getting to know the US sex industry which is mostly run by men based on a pimp-hoe dynamics, wanting to fix this setting, starting her own agency with an objective to make booking ladies as easy and comfortable as booking a haircut, and finally a virtual assistance service for high-end escorts (6:03; 21:15).
• What she regards as a notable achievement with her business operations shifting how law enforcement sees the escort service industry, making it much safer, and the protocol where her workers go through one-on-one legal talk to empower them (8:01).
• Dealing with clients you're not attracted to – which entails emotional work, pulling from compassion and genuine love, a principle rooted from her geisha background where sex workers are not only being paid for the performance but the connection too (24:19).
• Safety and security issues she experienced including dealing with the legalities, screening clients, and safeguarding worker's health, on a physical level like STDs, and on an emotional/psychological aspect by setting boundaries and dealing with violence (29:49).
• The screening process which involves getting identification, references, work verification and how it significantly improved with the help of technology (34:05).
• Red flags for sex workers to turn away clients with shady characters, and on the other end how can clients verify the provider and service they are availing (39:15).
• Her insights and options on how sex workers should work in the industry, providing each option’s benefits and drawbacks (44:05).
• How her company does marketing and leads generation for their providers (50:20).
• Her stance on the idea that sex workers are not supposed to enjoy their work (54:40).

Now, this is just the first part of Raven's interview, and to be honest, the wealth of information she's provided me on this first part alone about the industry, as well as the client-provider relationship, is very insightful - and I can't wait to talk to her again and learn even more.

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Stay tuned for next week for some more incredible information and insights.

Every Tuesday on Modern SexTalks we come at you with Just the Tip Tuesday where we offer a 10 minute segment from a previous episode.  Our episodes can be a bit long sometimes, and it can be hard to remember everything, so this is an option to get bite sized bits of information on a weekly basis. Today's episode is a short segment from EP127: Men and Masculinity with Connor Beaton.

Connor Beaton is the Founder of ManTalks and hosts the ManTalks Podcast.  He is becoming more and more renowned in North America for his work on creating an international men's community. 

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Ever wondered how you can pick up and seduce women effectively? Ross Jeffries just might help you in this area… and more.

Ross is a master hypnotist and NLP practitioner – so I might have been under the power of his hypnosis on this episode.

Ross Jeffries applies and teaches conversational hypnosis to seduce women and this is what we will deep-dive on today. If you perceive that the practice of hypnosis overrides human autonomy and volition, let our conversation guide you on how this seemingly sketchy practice can help people traverse relationships.

A controversial subject, I suggest you hold your judgments and listen as we delve into it. If you're really interested in his character and intentions, fast forward to 53:58 to understand his relationship to women and his mother.  

Today, we discussed:

• His background, Tom Cruise’s role in the movie Magnolia as inspired by his practice, and creating a deviant sex subculture (3:22).
• How copywriting and social engineering led to his business that provoked the power structure, and how women reacted to this (5:39).
• What he sees as the difference between influencing, manipulating, and lying (10:20).
• Using the power of influence and language to get men what they need (or want), and how this can shape consciousness, decisions, and behavior (13:48).
• A sample of how he uses language and rapport to spark interest and even sexualize conversations (14:46).
• His work using NLP, conditioning, associating, and meditation to help men get over anxiety and failure, and be happier (18:20; 22:46).
• How Buddhist principles of pleasure and craving factor in the area of seduction and sex (26:47).
• The controversy surrounding his branding and marketing persona (31:10).
• Unlocking someone’s desire through the power of suggestion and encouraging imagination (34:54).
• How people mistake these skills and the power it holds as a form of manipulation (37:20).
• The much bigger picture of NLP improving relationships through communication skills that enable people to be more deliberate in their conversations and relationships, and eliciting responses (46:10)
• How his teaching is set apart from common pick-up artists and the rest of the seduction community, with background sweeping cognitive psychology, anthropology, semantics, and even business (51:22).
• His relationship with his mother as the precursor for his curiosity and interest in learning (53:58).
• How the developments in his life shaped the track of his career, and how practicing meditation shifted the trajectory of his teachings from ‘provocateur’ to ‘elder of the tribe’ (55:17).

Relevant Links:

• Ross Jeffries The Game | Official Speed Seduction
• Are You Making These Fatal Confidence Killing Mistakes With Women | Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction
• Apply to Speak with Ross Jeffries 1-on-1| Ross Jeffries Consults
• Magnolia – An analysis of Frank T.J. Mackey
• What is NLP? | NLP.com
• Rules for Radicals by Saul Alinsky | Amazon
• The Science of Enlightenment by Shinzen Young | Amazon
• Secrets of Sex Magic by Fater U.D. | Amazon

Hopefully, our conversation was able to shed light on whatever misconception most people had – including me – on what Ross advocates and teaches.

Don’t forget to watch Ross Jeffries’ free video about mistakes men do interacting with women, or you can also schedule a one-on-one consultation so Ross can help you through the power of persuasion and influence. 

What did you think of today's show? What do you want to ask Ross? Let us know at info [at] theintimatelifestyle.com.

You can show your support by leaving the show a rating and review on iTunes, sharing this episode to your circle, or liking us on Facebook. Thanks for listening! 

Every Tuesday on Modern SexTalks we come at you with Just the Tip Tuesday where we offer a 10 minute segment from a previous episode.  Our episodes can be a bit long sometimes, and it can be hard to remember everything, so this is an option to get bite sized bits of information on a weekly basis. Today's episode is a short segment from EP121: How to Beat Porn Addiction with Kel Good.

Kel Good is a relationship consultant, an IT guy, entrepreneur, and author of the book 5 Keys to Successfully Beat Porn Addiction; he was also a pastor and suffered porn addiction in the past. 

I think the perfect word to describe this episode, the concepts and the stories we’ve talked about is enthralling. We chatted about his personal experience and the process of beating addiction which involved acknowledging it, and facing the addiction head on instead of avoiding it.

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Amy Gahran aka Aggie Sex, is the author of the book Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator which delves into customizing your relationships to fit your needs.

Still don't quite understand the relationship escalator from that short description? Amy, who's appeared on CNN.com and Entrepreneur.com, goes deep into this topic and how it relates to how people behave in their relationships.  

 This conversation will make some people rethink their relationships and how society shaped the norms revolving around it. Some of the topics we touched on are:

• Amy’s background and how this factored into doing a research that delves into the different forms of relationships that became the basis of the book (3:37).
• The concept of relationship anarchy and how it is juxtaposed to the relationship escalator (7:25).
• How relationship anarchy is a philosophy that promotes not taking anything for granted, and everything is negotiated and consent-based (7:25), and the different forms of relationship anarchy (12:42).
• How social norms are helpful in terms of social contract, but can likewise be limiting (9:53).
• How seeing people in pain and fear out of societal expectations in their relationships became her motivation for the book (13:22).
• Relationship Escalator defined based on societal expectations when it comes to relationships, and why it is an escalator and not a staircase (17:00).
• The stigma involved with stepping off with the relationship escalator (19:35), and crazy things that people have done because of the relationship escalator (21:10).
• How people misconstrue that if what you want in a relationship conforms to social norms, it is assumed that it does not need to be negotiated anymore (23:35).
• How exclusivity in a relationship will not always equate to love, and commitment, how monogamy does not always provide a guarantee, and how the concept of soulmates romanticizes dependence (27:25).
• Finding relationships based on the concept of proxy criteria (37:00).
• The concept of jealousy triggered by other complex emotions, societal expectations, and conditioning, which can be resolved by setting boundaries, negotiating, and managing expectations in a relationship (40:30).
• The concept of exploring and trying out new things, expanding comfort zones, and boundaries through communication and negotiation (50:54).

Amy makes it clear that you can negotiate what kind of relationship you’ll have with the people you’re already involved with or new ones you’ll encounter. Learn more about her insights by reading her book, Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator. Get a discount on a signed paperback copy by visiting OffEsclator.com and purchase the book via the add to cart button, or go straight to this link and enter MST under discount code to get 10% off. Or you can purchase via Amazon.com.

Sometimes our lovely lady partners can act a little "crazy." How you handle that says a lot about you. It also tells her how much she can trust you.  The truth is, she's not actually being "crazy" (unless she's hitting you, or throwing knives, or deliberately doing things to hurt you). Her "craziness" is actually just emotional repression finding it's way out. Here's how you can handle it like a champ.

Every Tuesday on Modern SexTalks we come at you with Just the Tip Tuesday where we offer a 10 minute segment from a previous episode.  Our episodes can be a bit long sometimes, and it can be hard to remember everything, so this is an option to get bite sized bits of information on a weekly basis. Today's episode is a short segment from EP112: Decoding Your Kink with Galen Fous.

Galen Fous is the author of Decoding Your Kink and is the pioneer of the Personal Erotic Myth. Unlike most sex psychologist and therapists who believe that alternative sexuality is often brought about by childhood trauma, Galen proposed a different view to deal with kinks, BDSM and other sexual behavior considered taboo by general society. Today he explains what's really happening behind your erotic mind.

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Today’s guest is Dr. Robert Glover – an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He wrote No More Mr. Nice Guy – a book I have read twice and found to be really insightful in understanding the male psyche. As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of nice guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males.

A self-professed recovering nice guy himself, he took the time to chat with me about bad boys and nice guys, and how being nice can cause resentment, anxiety and repressed anger in relation to getting the sex life, relationship, success, among other things that they think they deserve.

Specific areas we discussed are:

• His background as a psychotherapist on marriage and family therapy, and even earlier as a minister for a fundamentalist church (1:40).
• His current life living in a place where the sun always shines, with his amazing wife, and the ‘complications’ of having grandkids and kids of
• e’ (0).
• The events precedent to writing No More Mr. Nice Guy: marriages, affairs, sex-life issues, therapies, and why he wished his book had been available during all those experiences (9:28).
• How working as a relationship and marriage therapist led him to found the No More Mr. Nice Guy men’s group, and eventually writing an autobiographical chronicle of his failures (16:14).
• Why he sees authenticity as the reason for his success, how it played a big part in naming a book he is currently working on, and how it still challenges him in certain parts of his life (20:40).
• What is the nice guy mantra, how the nice guy is created, the psychological principles behind it, and how it gives birth to shame (27:45).
• The concept of the three covert contracts that nice guys live by to get their needs met, and manage the underlying shame (34:22).
• Why there are more similarities than differences between the nice guys and the bad boys (39:35).
• The common themes and complementary principles that run across self-help towards success books despite coming from different sources (42:15).
• His perspective on feminism and society’s tendency to express things as a dichotomy (46:07).
• ing boundaries by inviting people to higher consciousness and be more introspective (52:22).
• The key takeaways of the idea of a reciprocal cooperative relationship and turning covert contracts into overt contracts (1:01:03).
• His recommendations to consciously practice honesty, integrity, and authenticity, and keeping connection with other men (1:02:30)

This episode provided an introspective look into the male mind and I truly hope that you enjoyed and learned as much I did.

To get in touch with Robert Glover, you can find his contact details in our show notes at www.theintimatelifestyle.com/nomoremrniceguy.

You can also buy a copy of his book by going to www.theintimatelifestyle.com/myresources 

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