This show is missing, so have a clip from the Kev & Nixxi Soundboard! Simon Gunton saying Good Evening! Broadcast 9th February 2013.

This show is missing, so have a clip from the Kev & Nixxi Soundboard! Chebbs saying Hail Kev Atkinson! Broadcast 2nd February 2013.

Listener messages and callbacks to earlier jokes keep feeding the conversation throughout the show.

This show is missing, so have a clip from the Kev & Nixxi Soundboard! Angelos Epithemiou! Broadcast 19th January 2013.

Kev is suffering from 'ManFlu', allowing illness to become the running premise rather than a reason to hide behind the music. It opens the final run of 2013 programmes, when the show is only a few months away from ending but still operating with the same mixture of personal stories, recurring listeners and accumulated in-jokes.

Kicking off 2013 with loads of gr8 dance tunez! None of that EDM rubbish here! The first programme of 2013 becomes a mini dance special, mixing music nostalgia with the usual deliberately childish double meanings. The 'back drawers smashed in' discussion is really a 'back doors' innuendo around a chest of drawers, another example of Apple transcription needing contextual correction rather than literal acceptance.

Kev and Nixxi returned after nearly a month away and managed to get from the word “seepage” to Nixxi’s old pet snakes within minutes. Nixxi casually revealed that one of them really had been a one-eyed snake, giving Kev material he barely had to work for. The studio also had visitors, including Emzy, who had travelled down from Cumbria with bags of sweets and presents for Kev, Nixxi, Zoey and Imogen.

Nixxi then tried to clean the kebab crumbs and dog hair out of her laptop with a baby wipe, only for the trackpad to stop behaving. Spit failed to fix it, but later she discovered that Monster/Relentless-style energy drink appeared to work as a cleaner and immediately considered bottling it and selling it. Kev was understandably unconvinced by the business plan.

Sandwiches became the next essential subject, with Nixxi admitting she had previously put almost anything between bread, including mince pies, sausage rolls, Sunday dinner, lasagne and pizza. Emzy joined in as noodle sandwiches, hot sausage rolls with melted cheese and increasingly questionable Cumbrian inventions were considered. Simon returned for SmeggHeads, with Emzy in the studio while Kev and Nixxi attempted another set of questions, before the night wandered into lonely-hearts jokes and the usual personal abuse.

Nixxi won SmeggHeads.

Kev opened the show by boasting that some old YouTube videos had finally started earning him money, calculating that the magnificent daily income might just about cover Sky or part of his takeaway habit. Nixxi was less impressed by the maths, while listeners Steve and Keith immediately used Twitter to concentrate on Kev’s bald spot instead.

Return of the Track dug back twelve years to 666, while Kev and Nixxi also discovered a very detailed set of instructions for shutting down the studio and promised, perhaps unwisely, to follow them properly at the end of the night. The second hour then abandoned any remaining musical credibility for a full thirty-minute Cheesefest of guilty pleasures.

Nixxi helped choose the cheese and was happy to take responsibility if listeners loved it, while making it clear it would all be Kev’s fault if they hated it. Aqua’s Cartoon Heroes, Shaggy and RikRok and other shameless choices followed as listeners sent in suggestions and Kev happily admitted that other stations might lose listeners playing this stuff, whereas Kev and Nixxi had considerably less to lose.

Nixxi began the night by covering her face in chocolate milkshake before Kev and Nixxi started discussing their approaching birthdays and the presents listeners were welcome to send. Nixxi’s list naturally included a year’s supply of Lunchables, while the pair discovered that her latest pack had achieved the apparently miraculous feat of providing exactly enough crackers, ham and cheese.

New music came from Belgian Deejays United, while Return of the Track was supposed to feature another comedy singer until somebody discovered the studio phone was broken. With nobody available to sing, Kev simply dug out the old record and carried on. SmeggHeads followed with Simon supplying the questions and Kev and Nixxi attempting to bluff their way through the answers.

Kev later told Nixxi about taking his smashed iPad to Apple and being quoted £199 for a replacement, despite having bought a Smart Cover and still having insurance with a much smaller excess. He had already tried more than one Apple Store in the hope somebody would give him a different answer. The final part of the show brought Alex Humberstone back as MC Web Geek Alex for the first play of his new rap, complete with the full new-music treatment from Kev and Nixxi.

Nixxi won SmeggHeads.

Kev and Nixxi started by discussing Mustang passing his exams and being qualified to teach adults, despite the pair claiming that most of what he had taught them so far was completely useless. Kev then played Nixxi and the listeners a mystery sound and asked everyone to work out what on earth it was before the show moved into Return of the Track with Minimalistics’ Close Cover.

SmeggHeads brought Simon back with another five questions, including human hair follicles, cows’ stomachs and J. K. Rowling. Later, Desiree’s Life inspired Kev to rewrite the famous rhymes for the X Factor era, including a dig at Louis Walsh and Rylan, before listeners were given a couple of minutes to send in their own ridiculous verses.

Siri also received a thorough road test. Kev demonstrated how much slower it was in real life than in Apple adverts, asked it for jokes and football scores, accidentally woke himself at 5am with an alarm, and then dictated a particularly unhelpful text to Nixxi asking whether she had put weight on. With both birthdays approaching, the pair argued over presents before Kev finally handed Nixxi a mystery CD and made her choose a track from it live on air.

Nixxi won SmeggHeads, with the final verdict congratulating her on the result.