Family Dollar got sold, Chomps is recalling beef sticks, boobs are shrinking and non-monogamy sounds great!

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New Mexico sucks, saying no is big business these days, Coke wants their Coke back and it's Opening Day for baseball baby!!!

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Jolly Rancher is coming back for the teeth it forgot, cursing can help with pain, we're group chatting out war plans and it's National Manatee Day!

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Wendy's is going Lenten, DoorDash is doing payment plans (wut?) brass knuckles still not cool in Michigan and Segway is having a bad week....

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The Madness has officially started, men are trimming their eye lashes now, Captain Morgan wants to filthy up your bathing suit and I have hit a depressing new screen time high. 

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Trader Joe's is gonna get you drunk, social media is ruining teens' lives, Wendy's and Cheez-It are collaborating and a 77 year old Florida man um, eats something he shouldn't. 

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Red Robin is getting hot, more of us than ever are working two jobs, not all of us are following March Madness, and it's the first day of Spring!

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Harvard is letting the poors in, Forever 21 is going belly up, BuzzBallz is getting into the holiday spirit, we feel financially "stuck" and let's laugh today!

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Crumbl is celebrating St. Pats all week long, tornadoes are ripping up the Midwest, Florida man is stealing lap dances and our workday is a tad bit shorter than it used to be!

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Happy St. Patrick's Day to those bold enough to celebrate on a Monday!

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