The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations

In life after suicide loss, we hear the words "it's okay to not be okay" as part of mental health or prevention campaigns and similar messages all of the time, right? Especially THIS month as September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month (or is it just awareness -- or just prevention...? Ugh, right?). We can tackle that topic another day.

And it IS TRUE that it's okay to not be okay...it's an essential, to-the-point message to help empower people to speak up when they are not doing okay -- to let people know that "we got you" because life is hard, and we are all not okay from time to time (or even most of the time). Prevention is vital...but how does it all land with those left behind; those of us living in the aftermath of a devastating suicide? 

This came up recently in my online mom support community. You see, we've come to realize that the journey after suicide loss is so complicated. It's a path filled with intense sadness, unanswerable questions, and overwhelming guilt. It's a struggle to even consider saying that you're 'okay' today. SO, what happens when you ARE okay (even if just for the moment, or day)? Can you say that you are? And just how is it received, how does it land - with others and even with ourselves??

You may not understand and wonder why this would be the case. Maybe you're nodding in agreement, eager to delve into this question with me. That's why I'm here -- to facilitate these discussions, encourage debate, and help us all navigate this 'after life' together.

Those of us living this 'after life' may know this (and so many more) duality exists, but it's a different story when it comes to unpacking some these challenges in our daily lives so we can grow forward, and others can come alongside us. We must not only destigmatize mental health and suicide, but also grief. That's why I'm here, ready to tackle these issues head-on and discuss the dualities of life after suicide loss.

Here is that exclusive COUPON CODE resources I mentioned
CLICK HERE or go through my website and just use code TLPPOD49

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Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished & the last one is under way...GET ON THE LIST NOW for the SINGLE DATE start for 2025
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

#theleftoverpieces #theleftoverpiecespodcast #suicideloss #childloss #suicidegrief #griefsupportaftersuicide #icandohardthings #childloss #downtherabbithole #suicidebereavement #supportaftersuicideloss #youarenotalone #legacybook #becausetheylived #grief #traumarecovery #suicidelossretreat #trumanstateuniversity #trumanstate

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SPECIAL NEW EPISODE DROP! This is Part 3 of 3 (Listening in order is recommended). I am getting very 'up close and personal' as I do something I have not done since I began the podcast in 2020-- tell "the rest of my story." This is part of MY life after the suicide loss of my son Alex Mullins on August 7, 2016

In the 3-part series you get Part 1, "The Rest of My Story" Part 2 - "My Analysis", and that will be followed by this one - Part 3, "Can Words Kill...What Now?" 

In Part 3, I discuss how this is relevant to you - my audience. And WHAT do we do? HOW do we DO anything?? This is just the start of me telling anyone who will listen to what started in August of 2016 at Truman State University with my son Alex's suicide... and what we had no clue about that became a nightmare on top of a nightmare for many, not just us. "Free Will" serves as a center point of this story: free will and a disturbed individual with a death obsession and malice in his heart. The question of free will is complicated in most suicides, but how does it factor in when another person is right there - influencing or bullying or even reasoning or coaxing...?  

So, it's time to tell the story. The world needs to know because I KNOW I am not alone in this, or similar, situations - and that pains me. We need to draw attention to bullies, toxic relationships, and more that lead our kids straight to taking their own life. We need answers, accountability, and more. Let's have conversations!

Find the Essay I read in this episode HERE. It's called Talking Suicide Blues by Jeannette Cooperman, published on January 31, 2022. In my opinion, it's the most accurate article written to date. There is still So. Much. More. to the story, but now you know more than you did-- and I hope it gives you something to think about

Find the Cambridge Core paper HERE "Speech & Suicide - The Line of Legality"

Find Curator of Quotes HERE
Find HicksStrong HERE

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Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished BUT you can get on the list for the FINAL Group of the year starting August 14 group NOW!!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

#theleftoverpieces #theleftoverpiecespodcast #suicideloss #childloss #suicidegrief #griefsupportaftersuicide #icandohardthings #childloss #downtherabbithole #suicidebereavement #supportaftersuicideloss #youarenotalone #legacybook #becausetheylived #grief #traumarecovery #suicidelossretreat #trumanstateuniversity #trumanstate

Support the show

SPECIAL NEW EPISODE DROP! This is Part 2 of 3 (Listening in order is recommended). I am getting very 'up close and personal' as I do something I have not done since I began the podcast in 2020-- tell "the rest of my story." This is part of MY life after the suicide loss of my son Alex Mullins on August 7, 2016

Putting this out there has taken way more 'guts' than I anticipated. Much like Part 1, it took extra days to release this one. Even eight years in (it would seem), I am still learning about my new self. Hard things are hard!

In the 3-part series, you get Part 1, "The Rest of My Story," Part 2 - "My Analysis," and that will be followed by Part 3, "Can Words Kill...What Now?" 

Today, I respond to the essay I read in Part 1 as the start of me telling anyone who will listen to what started in August of 2016 at Truman State University with my son Alex's suicide... and what we had no clue about that became a nightmare on top of a nightmare, for many, not just us. "Free will" serves as a center point of this story: free will and a disturbed individual with a death obsession and malice in his heart (IMO). Free will is complicated - just like suicide & mental health - in most suicides, but how does it factor in when another person is right there - influencing or bullying or even reasoning and coaxing...?

So, it's time to tell the story. The world needs to know because I KNOW I am not alone in this, or similar, situations - and that pains me. We need to draw attention to bullies, toxic relationships, and more that lead our kids straight to taking their own life. We need answers, accountability, and more. Let's have conversations! Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast and me!

Find the essay I read in this episode HERE. It's called Talking Suicide Blues by Jeannette Cooperman, published on January 31, 2022. In my opinion, it's the most accurate article written to date. There is still So. Much. More. to the story, but now you know more than you did-- and I hope it gives you something to think about.

From Episode 3 (but I will put here also), Like me these parents know how I feel:
Find Curator of Quotes HERE
Find HicksStrong HERE

_____________________________________________________________________

Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FINAL SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has begun BUT you can get on the list for the ONLY group in 2025 (starting Jan.2025 )
Leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

#theleftoverpieces #theleftoverpiecespodcast #suicideloss #childloss #suicidegrief #griefsupportaftersuicide #childloss #downtherabbithole #suicidebereavement #supportaftersuicideloss #youarenotalone #legacybook #becausetheylived #grief #traumarecovery #suicidelossretreat #trumanstateuniversity #trumanstate

Support the show

SPECIAL NEW EPISODE DROP! New today! This is Part 1 of 3 (the other two will be released only two days after the previous one). I am getting very 'up close and personal' as I do something I have not done since I began the podcast in 2020-- tell "the rest of my story." 

Putting this out there has taken way more 'guts' than I anticipated. I have been sitting on this episode, frozen, for over a week. Even eight years in, it seems I am still learning about my new self. But it's time.

I am finally pushing the button today...officially entering my own new era.

Today, I am transitioning from sitting on the sidelines (albeit strategic & necessary for years) to now getting up (high) on a soap box and telling anyone who will listen to what started in August of 2016 at Truman State University with my son Alex's suicide... and what we had no clue about that became a nightmare on top of a nightmare, for many, not just us. "Free will" serves as a center point of this story: free will and a disturbed individual with a death obsession and malice in his heart. I think the question of free will is complicated - just like suicide - in most suicides, but how does it factor in when another person is right there - influencing or bullying or even reasoning and coaxing...?

So, it's time to tell the story. The world needs to know because I KNOW I am not alone in this, or similar, situations - and that pains me. We need to draw attention to bullies, toxic relationships, and more that lead our kids straight to taking their own life. We need answers, accountability, and so much more. Let's have THAT conversation too! This is just my springboard, but I have to start somewhere. Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast and me!

Find the Essay I read in this episode HERE. It's called Talking Suicide Blues by Jeannette Cooperman, published on January 31, 2022. In my opinion, it's the most accurate article written to date. There is still So. Much. More. to the story, but this is a starting point.  

You get Part 1, "The Rest of My Story" today. Then, Part 2 - "My Response - The Analysis" (to the Essay I read in Part 1) will be out in 2 days, and that will be followed by Part 3 two days after that, which will be called-- "Why is This Relevant for You - My Audience." 

Please have a gentle day and be good to yourself. Talk Soon! - Melissa

 
_____________________________________________________________________

Go to my WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished BUT you can get on the list for the FINAL Group of the year starting August 14 group NOW!!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

#theleftoverpieces #theleftoverpiecespodcast #suicideloss #childloss #suicidegrief #griefsupportaftersuicide #icandohardthings #childloss #downtherabbithole #suicidebereavement #supportaftersuicideloss #youarenotalone #legacybook #becausetheylived #grief #traumarecovery #suicidelossretreat #trumanstateuniversity

Support the show

Today I am releasing a conversation that I had recently with Amy King - Grace's mom. Amy also happens to be an incredible write (psst... see down below) But the role she cherishes most in life, is being a mom to her two kiddos... she now bothers, like many of us, from both sides of 'the veil'. Gracie died by suicide in 2018.

Amy's "other" episode _ Season 4 Ep. 3 "Suicide is Normal AND Tragic"

 And today, just a few things we chat about are: 

• First, she talks about her loss survivor group & how it has influenced her
• Coming face-to-face with a mom who had previously) judged her family - and how hearing her say it out loud - impacted her. 
• The myths and realities of 'prevention' & stigma & shame...
• Meaningful conversations everywhere - incl. LGBTQA+ spaces...
• Living in a community where she is still 'targeted' and yet, her resolve is stronger than ever! 
• Judgement, safe spaces, Gracie's House, soup and more ...

Speaking our truth, judgement, creating safe spaces & having meaningful dialogue with teens (& others in our community) are key takeaways here. Take good care good you, my friend!

"A.S. King has been called “One of the best Y.A. writers working today” by the New York Times Book Review. King is the author of highly-acclaimed novels including 2021's SW/TCH, 2020 Michael L. Printz Award winner and LA Times Book Prize finalist DIG, 2016's Still Life with Tornado, 2015’s surrealist I Crawl Through It, Glory O'Brien's History of the Future, Reality Boy, the 2012 Los Angeles Times Book Prize winner, Ask the Passengers, Everybody Sees the Ants, 2011 Michael L. Printz Honor Book Please Ignore Vera Dietz among others. She also writes Middle Grade fiction as Amy Sarig King, including Attack of the Black Rectangles. She has edited an anthology of weird stories, The Collectors, which won the Michael L. Printz award in 2024, and will release a new YA novel, Pick the Lock, in fall 2024. In 2022, King received the Margaret A. Edwards Award for her significant and lasting contribution to young adult literature. In 2023, she accepted the ALAN Award from The Assembly on Literature for Adolescents of NCTE for her "artistry, courage, and outstanding contributions to the field of adolescent literature."  She is a former faculty member of the Writing for Children and Young Adults MFA program at Vermont College of Fine Arts and spends many months of the year traveling the country speaking to high school and university students, educators, and humans who care about the mental health of young people. After a decade living self-sufficiently and teaching literacy to adults in Ireland, she now lives in Pennsylvania."

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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished BUT you can get on the list for the FINAL Group of the year starting August 14 group NOW!!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE
If you, or someone you know, is struggling ww suicidal thoughts, reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

Support the show

Today I am down the rabbit hole to discuss the concept of a grief hangover. Yep, it's a real thing ....at least I say it is. I did not coin the phrase but i also don't recall ever hearing it before, yet a simple internet search tells me that I am not the only one who thinks it's that 'thing'. The day before, of and after a "day" (birthday, loss, day, holiday...) can be absolute hell and you may be left with a massive grief hangover if you aren't prepared. Let me offer some thoughts that may just help! (turns out, I needed the reminder too!) 

 Today, I have three top takeaways on this subject:

• First, give yourself plenty of space and Grace. You need flexibility, time for yourself.... These will all lay a foundation for the other. 2.
• Second have a backup plan... this will give you a safety net as well as a way out - or at least relief -when a 'hangover' happens
• 3rd, make a plan.... Intentionality and mindfulness go a long way in the prevention. of a hangover, or perhaps keeping it at bay more than if you didn't use these tools

Forethought, mindfulness and participation/planning are keys here. Take good care good you, my friend!

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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 has finished BUT you can get on the list for the FINAL Group of the year starting August 14 group NOW!!

For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

Support the show

Today I have Lenore Matthew, PhD, MSW, back on the podcast -- for the THIRD time! That tells you how much I value what she has to say BUT is also a testament to her own healing and growth - AND her desire to share it with those who need to hear it! Today we discuss her latest endeavor in healing - one that can bring so. much. freedom... welcome to BRAINSPOTTING!   

 On her website she says that she is "Melding science and spirit to welcome joy, light, and expansion" as well as "Helping creatives, high performers, healers, and lightworkers heal through trauma and step fully into their soul's purpose and full self"

IF you currently are looking for healing - whether early acute grief, or later in deeper healing, I have links for you below:
Lenore is findable HERE -->  FIND HER HERE - on her website
WHAT IS BRAINSPOTTING? CLICK HERE to FIND OUT
READ ABOUT Brain/Body/Spirit Research Lab for Post-Traumatic Growth and Expansion
Listen to her PREVIOUS 2 Episodes:
S1 Ep 30    Are They Really Gone? Alchemy of Science and Spirit
S4 Ep 11  Dr. Lenore Matthew; Melding Science & Spirit in Healing after Suicide Loss
The resource page she discussed, for others (earlier) grievers is HERE

Len also recently honored me (& the other 2 authors) by writing the Foreword to the latest Legacy Project Vol. 4.... read it today. Available on Amazon at the LINK BELOW
Find ALL Legacy BOOKS HERE
 
Check out the LEGACY PROJECT HERE

THANK YOU for listening to this episode. It means so much to me!

Support the Show.
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 is under way BUT you can get on the wait list for the August 7 group NOW!!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

Support the show

Are you a late-night grief-insomniac like me? Do you need to escape, or maybe think deeply? I have it all!  New today and a few more on the way...a long overdue episode about what I have watched or read etc. and what my take is on these shows, movies, books & more. There are a few honorable mentions (HM) in most categories that I will not say as much about, but I do talk briefly about why they are mentioned.

My Past Podcasts on this same topic (all different shows, etc... mostly):

•  Season 1 Episode 17
• Season 2 Episode 17 
• Season 4 Episode 8 
• Season 4 Episode 28 

Must Have APP - Does the Dog Die

Movies: 

• Love, Liza (Philip Seymor Hoffman 2002)
• What Dreams May Come (Robin Willimas 1998)
• Roadrunner; The Story of Anthony Bourdain (2021)
• (HM) Coco (2017)
• (HM) Steel Magnolias (1989)
• (HM) The Big Chill (1983)

TV Shows/Series: 

• The Bear (FX on Hulu at the time of recording - 2 Seasons out, 3# coming in June 2024 with more planned)
• Dead to Me (Netflix at time of recording - 3 Seasons)
• (HM always) Scattering CJ (documentary)
• (HM) Blue Bloods (2010 - current CBS - stream on paramount & Prime) good handling of grief 
• (HM) Somebody Feed Phil - 7 seasons - lighthearted & entertaining (some legacy/honoring of grief) Netflix currently
• (HM) Friends - ('94-2004; 10 seasons -for caution/curious observation & entertainment) Max currently has all 

Books/Reads: 

• Get Griefy Magazine available online OR Amazon 
• Suicidal- why we kill ourselves by Jesse Bering
• Dying to be Free by Beverly Cobain
• Because They Lived...(# Volumes and more on the way)

Other: 

• Gaia TV Streaming Service

Please also hit up my Resource Page for more recommendations/options....
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 is under way BUT you can get on the wait list for the August 14 group NOW!!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

Support the show

NEW EPISODE DROP! Today is MOTHER’S DAY 2024. As a special Down the Rabbit Hole episode and to honor a piece of my own journey in motherhood, I am reading my chapter “The Little Tin Man and His Big Heart” - a chapter written (by me) about parts of my son Alex’s life. Alex died by suicide on August 7, 2026, but his legacy continues as we tell his stories and speak his name. 

You can find this story in the book series Because They Lived, plus stories of other amazing kids gone way too soon. Memories and Stories of Amazing Kids Lost to Suicide as Told by the Moms They Left Behind. There is a link on my website and in my Instagram Bio. There are three Volumes out, and a fourth will be out in June. 

That’s 14 Moms who have left permanent legacies of their kids in the world! If you are a mom, there is still time to sign up for the last project of the year - starting in August. Email me today and we will set a time to talk about whether this is right for you....and read all about it (or watch a video) on my website. You can do this too! 

Remember to take care of yourself and have a gentle day. Talk Soon! 

Also, look for me again WEEKLY with a mixture of longer conversational episodes and shorter, solo, down-the-rabbit-hole episodes, roundtables, and more... I have missed you, friends, and I am glad to be back

Find ALL Legacy BOOKS HERE
 
Check out the LEGACY PROJECT HERE

THANK YOU for listening to this episode. It means so much to me!

Like what you hear? Support the show 

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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.

PS....The FIRST SESSION of the Legacy Writing Project in 2024 is under way BUT you can get on the wait list for the August 7 group NOW!!
For a way to leave a Legacy of your child - GO HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

Support the show

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Today, I share my conversation with the Founder of PsycheX, Josh Halu, and his invited guest, suicide loss survivor-mom Natika Terrell. Plant Medicine has gotten a bad rap, becoming stigmatized in 'hippie culture' that led to government bans, which are (thankfully) now beginning to disappear, allowing for unparalleled mental health research and incredible breakthroughs! I did not step into this topic lightly. While I have been curious for a while (as I know several people who have greatly benefited from psychedelics), allowing that stigma to play a role, I have kept it at arms distance at best. Then Josh Halu reached out. I have been researching, listening, and even leaning in ever since. I am very excited to share this conversation with you, hoping it may add another possibility to your toolbox!

PsycheX's Mission: Is to create a unified, trustworthy, and inclusive platform that fosters connections, education, and opportunities in the psychedelic industry.
Their Vision:
To make psychedelics a cornerstone of mental health care by developing the most comprehensive, trusted, and inclusive platform for resources, education, and therapy options.

Today, we discuss plant medicines such as ketamine, ayahuasca, mdma, mushrooms (psilocybin), and more...

Find PsycheX HERE

Meet Josh
"Josh Halu, Founder and CEO of The Psychedelic Exchange, is a dynamic leader committed to revolutionizing mental health care through the innovative use of psychedelic therapies. His background, steeped in military leadership from his time at West Point and as an Army Officer, fuels his dedication to a critical mission: bringing the number of veteran suicides down to zero. With his deep understanding of mental illnesses, including trauma, depression, and PTSD, as well as the unique challenges faced by veterans, Josh is pioneering new approaches in mental health care. He strives to transform the landscape of treatment and support for all, while destigmatizing the use of psychedelic medicines for mental wellness."

Find JOSH HERE on his WEBSITE
Reach him at [email protected]  Here on Instagram

Meet Natika
Natika Terrell is a mother who has used psychedelics to aid in healing the trauma of losing her daughter, Carla to suicide in February of 2015.  Through this loss journey she has been able to be more vulnerable in sharing her story as well as how she is facing life now.  She aspires to be a motivational speaker who helps to be a voice for mental health including the power of psychedelics and plant medicine for mental health and healing.
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[Please note that this episode is not intended as an endorsement of psychedelics, and Melissa is not a doctor or medical professional. As always, you should consider seeking medical (or appropriate) guidance when considering their use & possible outcomes.]
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My WEBSITE "The Leftover Pieces; Rebuilding You" is support central.
REGISTER for Monthly SUPPORT after Suicide loss HERE

If you, or someone you know, is struggling  with suicidal thoughts PLEASE reach out:
CALL 988   OR, you can also TEXT the word "HOME" to 741741 in the USA

Support the show