The Low Ceiling

The dead speak! We dive back into the Star Wars universe and discuss The Rise of Skywalker. Jon talks about The Bikeriders and the trailer for Nosferatu, before talking about an auteurist masterpiece film about a ship chasing another ship very slowly (The Last Jedi). We discuss the upcoming Rey-focused film and the universally beloved third season of Master of None. Jon discusses his favourite big, floppy, horny Star Wars character and Pri falls in love with a tiny alien.

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We continue our examination of plotless mess films with Christopher Nolan's TENET. Jon performs a temporal pincer move on himself when he makes the mistake of trying to explain what happens in this movie. We talk about Nolan's career and the exceptional direction of this movie and how it was made cool. Then we make fun of some bad dialogue. And that's it. Tenet. Yeehaw.

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Ahoy! This week, we dissect the Gore Verbinski joint Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, starring the former premier mouth actor, Keira Knightley and a villain with a wiggly face. We talk about the newest entrant to the Mouth Actor's Hall of Fame, Glen Powell, before Pri professes her love for Davy Jones. Then we chat further about the swashbuckling genre, which includes such films as Hustlers, Gigli, and Maid in Manhattan, and the British East India Company, a corporation that did nothing wrong ever.

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Mary Shelley's Frankenstein was a sort of famous novel made into a really not great Kenneth Branagh movie with a ton of potential. Pri gives an overview of the titular author's symbologic biograhpical details like Robert Langdon at the Louvre doing whatever his job was before we talk about cut Kenneth Branagh, sh*tloads of potatoes from South America, and slipping, slapping, and slopping in amniotic fluid.

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For more on the life of Mary Shelley, read this.

Bad Boys, Michael Bay's debut film about a couple of actually pretty good guys. Jon embarasses himself yet again with Pearl Harbour takes (the film, not the event) and we speculate on whether Michael Bay himself ghostwrote the IMDB trivia for this movie. Then we lament the upcoming sequel, Bad Boys: Ride or Die (it's actually called that), discuss really big robots, and work through Will Smith's sexless and charmless performance.

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Just look up! Today we cover Melancholia 2 (Don't Look Up), an Adam McKay film starring DiCap and J-Law. Jon and Pri do their best to bum you out while asking the important questions like "Is it real?" and "Is Adam McKay himself personally responsible for climate change?". We're just a couple of floodists in our Greta Thunberg era who plan on starting a family home on Cate Blanchett's teeth.

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Triangle of Sadness, a movie that will make your face go from Balenciaga to H&M. We beat a figurative donkey to death and expand our thoughts on the critically acclaimed film by our second favourite Scandinavian, Ruben Ostlund, and talk about Alex Garland's Civil War and our reaction to Cailee Spaeny catching Thor's hammer. Jon and Pri admire the fantastic performance by the late Charbli Dean, talk about how we feel about most human resources professionals (they have no skill or talent), and get tickled pink by an overflowing toilet and an errant cleaning cart.

**SPOILER ALERT** We mildly spoil Challengers in this episode and also The Dark and the Wicked.

Because you were home! The Strangers, a Bryan Bertino film from way back after 9/11. We start off by reviewing all the f*cking in Challengers then we move on to give a non-academic review of the horror genre and a breathless cavalcade of references to horror movies good and bad, including the tragically underseen The Dark and the Wicked and the upcoming sequel to Talk to Me, Talk 2 Me: Crazy Hand.

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In 1996, Baz Luhrmann made a masterpiece film: Romeo + Juliet. So of course that means we have to talk about Wild Mountain Thyme, a movie about the two hottest people in Ireland who live next door to each other but aren't f*cking. Jon also spoils Monkey Man and brags about his English degree. Then we break down several movies not on the docket including The Hot Chick, White Chicks, and Shallow Hal and talk about the advantages of having a "poison guy". Peace? I hate the word.

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If you prefer a change of pace aka good criticism by people smarter than us, read Stephanie Zacharek's retro review in Time or Yasmin Omar's piece in Harper's Bazaar.