National Treasure: Book of Secrets would be a massively disappointing film if Disney+ hadn't made the miniseries that involved none of the principal performers. But hey! It's got weird edits and Nic Cage, so we can't complain too much. We pitch ideas for Natch Tresz 4 starring Helen Mirren and Riz Ahmed (spoiler alert: they f*ck), talk about the performer and commentator Glenn Beck (not the same guy), and keep it fresh with some cutting edge humour about P. D. Trump. Tune in next week for National Treasure: Edge of Tomorrow.

A movie that stole the Declaration of Independence and our hearts, National Treasure (Natch Tresz) is the delicious jam and jelly of Disney's mid-aughts line-up. We (somehow) talk extensively about Nickelback, Ben Franklin's J-O tools, and Nic Cage's icy sexual chemistry with every actress he's worked with. Listen in only if you've seen Zodiac 2, Constantine 5, Iron Mans 1 thru 17, and Into, Across, Through, and Behind the Spiderverse.

In a world where some people are mentally ill and some are geniuses, John Forbes Nash was…..both. A Beautiful Mind! Best Picture winner, 2001! The only film we will ever cover with that distinction. We get all cinephile and express cutting edge opinions such as "The Lord of the Rings was good" and "Russell Crowe is a good actor"! Then we compare the real John Nash to the bullsh*t in this movie and talk about the ethics of dating your teacher. Come join us down at Dog City, woof woof!

It's hard work being as trenchant and stupid as we are so we've got a shorty that we had to edit all the libel and defamation out of. Happy holidays!

**SPOILER ALERT** Everyone check your bathwater and your pipes for the hidden sociopath in your life. We do a timely review of Emerald Fennell's Very Important masterpiece, Saltburn. A work of cinema you could barely wade in at your gigantic f*ck off castle. Are the rich bad? And we check in on sociopaths, are they also still bad? We answer every question and lay it out in a tasteful, obnoxious montage so you don't miss a single thing.

We're just a couple of sportsguys here to talk about the film, Coach Carter. Pri is sick and Jon reveals plans for his new nu-metal podcast project. We break down a major conspiracy at play in the film and finally take a popular stance and come for the teachers in this one. Free yourself from the shackles of corporate bondage and volunteer to make your community a better place and actually mean something for once. Delilah!

VICE! Spain! Waterboarding! Jon and Pri recount their holiday cinema experiences to preview some coming LC attractions and bore the audience to tears. Then, it's VICE, the Dick Cheney cinema satire that swept the nation five years ago and has made no impact since. We talk about waterboarding your grandkids, Amy Adams' inspiration for her role, and yep...well gang...think you better...uh...take me to the hospital...yep...ok...

Rise and shine little b*tch. We talk about one of the great films of the previous decade, Spring Breakers and in preparation Pri gets a rundown of Harmony Korine's career of nonsense. The hosts talk about Travis Scott's Traviscottery, shorts: every colour, and hear from Katherine Hepburn and Howard Hughes. People die of bullets in this film and even Meryl Streep catches a few strays! Bring your grandma to Saint Pete's next year. Spring break foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ouch! Burnt! A movie that requires such strict scrutiny to its awfulness that time ceases to exist. Jon and Pri are full of cayenne pepper as they discuss Helene's absurd salary and good omelettes. Jon reveals the one piece of advice Ira Glass gave him personally and his beef with director John Wells. You'd rather shuck a million oysters than watch this film but listen along while you do and don't forget to apologize to the turbot.

A deer chooses the wizard king in this one.