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Bruhs, let's play the quiet game. You start, cause I have a lot to say. But fair warning, the audio of what I say will be horrible today. I don't know why. It's unknowable. 

On today's episode, Matt, Mike, and Rob explore the importance of silence in various situations. We also touch on the moments in life where it is best to stay silent, according to psychology. And, AND, we extend a call to (in)action. Try it out, you'll thank us. 

Keywords

silence, teaching, teenagers, psychology, moments in life, staying silent, support, empathy, listening

Takeaways

• Silence can be an effective teaching tool, especially with teenagers.
• There are moments in life where it is best to stay silent, according to psychology.
• Silence allows others to be the expert and can boost their confidence.
• Listening and being present in the moment can be powerful forms of support and empathy.

Sound Bites

• "That was my cue to ask the question again. So I would, and I usually ask it in a more playful joking way."
• "Silent but violent."
• "They just needed to be together."

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I'm telling that you did that. You're gonna be in SO MUCH trouble. It's okay spacemen, you can admit it. There's no Alphas in the room with you who will mock you. You're in a safe space. We all have fears of upsetting someone. In fact, even though most people will say they don't care about what people think, pretty much EVERYONE does. So, we tackle that today on the show. 

Matt, Mike, and Rob explore the feeling of constantly being in trouble or disappointing others, both in relationships and in other areas of life. We talk about how men often express this sentiment and the sources of this feeling, such as societal expectations, authority figures, and fear of disappointing others. And we talk about the common experience of men feeling like they are always in trouble and the impact it can have on their well-being.  Spoiler alert, we talk about the importance of having open and honest conversations, understanding and owning one's emotions, and embracing the humanity of the human experience.

Keywords
feeling in trouble, disappointing others, relationships, societal expectations, authority figures, anxiety, stress, fear of disappointing, being in trouble, societal expectations, childhood experiences, open and honest conversations, owning emotions, humanity

Takeaways

• Many men express the feeling of constantly being in trouble or disappointing others. This feeling can arise in relationships, work, and other areas of life.
• Societal expectations and the fear of disappointing authority figures contribute to this feeling.
• Anxiety and stress often perpetuate the belief that one is always in trouble. The fear of disappointing others is often rooted in societal expectations and childhood experiences.
• Having open and honest conversations can help address and overcome the fear of disappointing others.
• Understanding and owning one's emotions is crucial in navigating relationships and communication.
• Embracing the humanity of the human experience allows for more authentic and meaningful connections.

Sound Bites

• "Do you always feel like you're in trouble? Because I feel that all the time."
• "I'm doing something wrong and some overarching authority figure is gonna be mad at me and I'm in trouble."
• "I feel like I am behind, I'm failing somewhere, someone's gonna be disappointed."
• "I don't always get the men telling me this is what I felt. I have to share. This is what I've felt."
• "Where did this come from for me? Because we didn't necessarily grow up in a home where..."
• "I just default in that realm, I defaulted over into he's my dad. I'm the kid who doesn't know anything."

Chapters

00:00
The Constant Feeling of Being in Trouble

18:52
Defaulting to Partners as Authority Figures

35:39
Breaking Free from Societal Expectations

44:40
Understanding and Owning Your Emotions

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Don't worry spacemen. We, the Admirals of the Spaceiverse, have figured out what women want. We scoured the internet and found all the articles (3 in total) that reveal the desires and needs of women. The key takeaway? You should already know.

Turns out, the internet is full of idiots. Luckily, we're here to help you understand what women actually want. But, you might have to ask your partner/spouse.

Keywords
what women want, qualities in a man, emotional availability, connectedness, strong listener, confidence, vulnerability, women, men, understanding, themes, female aggression, body image, emotional experiences, mental load, communication, understanding, conversation, articles, insights, needs, desires, questions, listening, connection, activities

Takeaways

• Women look for emotional availability and connectedness in a man.
• Being a strong listener is an important quality.
• Confidence is attractive to women.
• Vulnerability is valued by women.
• These qualities may vary from person to person. Understanding women's thought processes and experiences is important in relationships.
• Female aggression can be subtle and harder to detect.
• Body image, emotional experiences, and mental load are key themes in women's desires for understanding.
• Some items on the list are amusing and may not resonate with everyone.
• Communication and empathy are crucial for building strong relationships. Have open and honest conversations with your partner to understand their needs and desires
• Ask questions and actively listen to deepen the connection
• Avoid making assumptions and seek genuine understanding
• Engage in activities that facilitate quick connections with other men
• Prioritize genuine communication over relying solely on articles

Sound Bites

• "Emo avail, which sounds like a sweet emo band."
• "It's the only one with a cookie crunch."
• "They want vulnerability."
• "Issues relating to body, emotional experiences, and mental load."
• "Female aggression is a bit more subtle at times."
• "Real men drive stick shift."
• "You should know all this and more"
• "We've been taught to play hard to get forever"

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Banter

08:02
Overview of Articles and Topics

14:17
How Matt and Mike Scored

27:03
Superficial Desires and Pursuit

33:20
The Value of Open and Honest Conversations

43:47
Activities that Foster Quick Connections Among Men

50:07
Prioritizing Genuine Communication over Articles

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What's up home skillets? That's what the internet tells me we said in the 90s. I don't think I did, but I also thought I was cool and probably wasn't. Remember when we said awesome-sauce? Or Awesome to the possum? Or the bomb.com? Gross. We were gross. But we were so cool too, right? 

On today's episode, Mike and Rob get over missing Matt by talking about neural nostalgia and connecting with our true cool 90's selves. We talk about how listening to music from our youth taps into specific parts of our brains and connects us to our sense of self. So listen in and then crank up the Fastball, or Backstreet Boys, or Korn. Whatever you think you grew out of. You didn't. That you is still in there and dying to get out. 

Keywords

nostalgia, 90s, humor, therapy, music, identity, trends, generations, science, empathy, nostalgia, reconnecting with joy, music, hobbies, self-care

Takeaways

• Nostalgia for the 90s can evoke positive emotions and a sense of identity.
• Music has the power to influence mood and shape personal identity.
• Trends and generations repeat themselves, with each generation believing they have reached the peak.
• Reconnecting with the things that bring you joy and make you feel like yourself is important for your well-being.
• Nostalgia can have a powerful impact on your mood and sense of identity.
• Embrace your interests and hobbies, even if they may seem childish or out of style.
• Balancing responsibilities with personal passions is a challenge, but finding time for self-care is crucial.
• Don't be afraid to be yourself and pursue the things that make you happy, regardless of what others may think.

Sound Bites

• "Solid as Iraq."
• "Drive through records. They were so cool in the early 2000s, the early aughts."
• "I'm amazing. So you could hear that because she's a little harder hearing. So it's like, I needed you to hear that part."
• "I'm gonna party like it's 1999, which I do wanna remind everyone who is alive for the transition from 1999 to 2000, just how disappointing that was."

Chapters

00:00
Nostalgia for the 90s

08:36
The Persistence of Streaming

14:43
Questioning Assumptions

31:52
Cutting Off Parts of Ourselves to Fit Societal Expectations

41:36
Embracing Your Interests and Hobbies

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SPACEMEN!!!! Did you know you’re screwing your kids up? You’re not. But what if you are? Well today, we’ll address that topic. We talk about clip from Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist known as the millennial parenting whisperer. We’ll talk about how focusing on making kids happy can actually make them fearful and less tolerant of other emotions. When parents try to rescue their kids from distress, they send the message that certain emotions are bad and should be avoided. This can lead to anxiety in adulthood. It is important to develop resilience in kids and allow them to experience a range of emotions. Society's emphasis on happiness and the avoidance of pain can be detrimental to emotional development. We even give you an activity to do at home to help develop your tolerance for emotional discomfort.

Keywords
Dr. Becky Kennedy, parenting, happiness, emotions, resilience, anxiety, distress, avoidance, societal pressure, pain, discomfort, emotions, emotional regulation, tolerance, resilience, validation, comparison, mindfulness, ice cube exercise

Takeaways

• Avoiding distressful emotions can lead to anxiety in adulthood.
• It is important to allow kids to experience a range of emotions and not rescue them from distress.
• Society's emphasis on happiness and the avoidance of pain can hinder emotional development. Allowing children to experience and tolerate pain and discomfort is important for their emotional development and resilience.
• Validating children's emotions and avoiding comparisons or false reassurances is more helpful in supporting their emotional well-being.
• Emotional regulation involves regulating the influence of emotions on behavior and being intentional about how much influence emotions have in different situations.
• The ice cube exercise can be a helpful mindfulness practice to build resilience and learn to tolerate discomfort.
• Acknowledging and labeling emotions is important, but it is not always necessary to fully experience them.

Sound Bites

• "Listening to music from your high school years can boost your mood"
• "Homestar Runner, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, and Clone High are nostalgic favorites"
• "Internet issues and frozen screens can be frustrating"
• "If you have any poo, fling it now."
• "Anxiety actually isn't a feeling, it's the experience of wanting to run away from a feeling."
• "Our job is not to make our kid happy."
• "I think we have this idea that now you must go feel it. It's like, do I, or can I just say, no, it's there. I know it's there."
• "You're never going to find happiness through comparison."
• "The purpose of pain is to be resilient because life involves suffering and adversity."

Chapters

00:00
Boost Your Mood with Music Nostalgia

14:53
Introducing Dr. Becky Kennedy, the Millennial Parenting Whisperer

15:12
The Role of Parents: Developing Resilience in Kids

26:19
Allowing Kids to Experience a Range of Emotions

30:04
Societal Pressure and Emotional Development

38:34
Allowing Children to Experience and Tolerate Pain

40:41
Validating Children's Emotions and Avoiding Comparisons

46:26
Emotional Regulation: Regulating the Influence of Emotions on Behavior

56:25
The Ice Cube Exercise: Building Resilience and Tolerating Discomfort

01:03:48
Acknowledging and Labeling Emotions without Fully Experiencing Them

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This is ground control to spacemen. Come in spacemen. And welcome to another exciting installment of The Manspace Podcast. On today's episode, AI is pretty sure we just talked about "understanding the drive behind emphasis." Come on AI. If you want to be my supreme overlord, you're gonna have to up your game a little.

In actuality, in this episode, Matt shares a story about a dude making complaint at a Thai restaurant. Then Matt, Mike, and Rob explore what happened and how this complaint seemed to carry so much weight in this guys relationship. We talk about a bunch of stuff, including: the importance of expressing preferences and the impact of not speaking up for oneself, the common experience of feeling obligated to address issues, the role of a husband and the pressure to fix problems in a relationship, and the conversation concludes by highlighting the significance of understanding the drive behind emphasis and cultivating effective communication and preferences in relationships. So we do talk about the drive behind emphasis, but it's not like it's ALL we talk about. Sheesh AI. Calm down. 

Takeaways

• It is important to speak up for oneself and express preferences in relationships.
• Feeling obligated to address issues can create tension and resentment in relationships.
• Open communication and understanding are key to resolving conflicts. A good husband is someone who can assert their preferences and communicate their needs in a relationship.
• Understanding the drive behind emphasis and passion in communication can lead to better understanding and collaboration.
• It is important to find a balance between deferring to your partner's preferences and asserting your own.
• Stating preferences and communicating needs can help avoid resentment and build healthier relationship dynamics.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction 

03:00
The dynamics of speaking up in relationships

14:54
The importance of expressing preferences in relationships

22:32
The common experience of feeling obligated to address issues

23:14
The Role of a Husband

24:17
The Pressure to Fix Problems

25:22
Feminine and Masculine Energy

26:37
Taking Care of Relationship Dynamics

28:28
The Weight of Passion

29:27
Emphasis vs. Passion

30:06
Speaking Up with Emphasis

31:09
Understanding the Drive Behind Emphasis

36:28
Cultivating Communication and Preferences

37:36
Finding Balance in Relationship Dynamics

38:36
Understanding the Drive Behind Emphasis

51:24
Closing Remarks

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Summary

SPACEMEN!!! GATHER! Join us as we talk about what to say when there's nothing left to say. Most of us have had conversations with people in which we have said everything there is to say, but it doesn't seem to help. Maybe your partner or spouse is really stuck on something and you've offered the obviously perfect solution, but they don't seem to be buying it. How dare they?! Don't they know how smart you think you are? 

On today's episode, Matt, Mike, and Rob break down what to say when you've got nothing.  We talk about reaching a point of exhaustion, the challenge of finding solutions, seeking a feeling rather than an actual thing, being curious and asking questions, and developing tolerance and patience. Listen in. We've got LOTS of stuff to say. We would never run out of things to say. Not us. 

Takeaways

• Helping others can be challenging when you feel like you have nothing left to say.
• It is important to be patient and curious when trying to help someone who is struggling.
• Understanding the underlying feelings and desired outcomes can lead to more effective solutions.
• Asking questions and being open to different ideas can help overcome stuckness and find new perspectives. Asking questions and going through a process of figuring things out is essential for finding solutions.
• Patience and curiosity are key in building strong relationships.
• Effective communication requires both listening and asking the right questions.
• Tolerance for discomfort is necessary for personal growth and problem-solving.
• Parents should allow their children to experience failure and learn from their mistakes.
• Behavior patterns are a result of the dynamics between individuals, and both parties share responsibility.
• Fear of failure and the irrational fear of ruining a child's life can hinder personal growth and learning.

Chapters

04:35
Favorite Moments and Episode Titles

06:15
Clip Episodes Done Right

08:36
Watching Sports and MLB Pass

09:10
Understanding Soccer Rules

10:08
Evolution of Sports Rules

11:03
Basketball Rule Violations

11:16
March Madness and Basketball

12:17
Reaching a Point of Exhaustion

15:39
The Role of Therapists in Facilitating Change

20:16
The Challenge of Finding Solutions

21:35
Helping Others When You Have Nothing Left to Say

25:30
Seeking a Feeling, Not an Actual Thing

26:55
The Frustration of Feeling Stuck on an Idea

27:53
Being Curious and Asking Questions

29:02
The Importance of Patience

30:34
The Process of Asking Questions

31:23
The Importance of Figuring Things Out

32:14
The Need for Patience and Curiosity in Relationships

33:39
The Challenge of Effective Communication

36:06
The Need for Tolerance of Discomfort

37:22
The Dangers of Solving Problems for Others

38:37
The Fear of Failure in Parenting

48:34
The Importance of Allowing Failure and Learning

50:28
The Shared Responsibility in Behavior Patterns

50:47
The End of the Conversation

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Summary

'Sup spacemen. I let AI do the shownotes today. The first thing it mentioned? I'll show you..."The conversation covers topics such as Mike's butt pain."  HA HA! To be clear, that's in reference to Mike not liking one of the chairs we sit on, but man, AI makes us look like dummies. Now, today's episode is really about the process of therapy and what to expect. We cover things like misunderstandings and confusion, asking for advice, broad questions and uncertainty, expectations of therapists, therapists' knowledge and expertise, disappointing answers, the fallibility of experts, therapists' lack of ready-made solutions, and the complexity of diagnoses. The conversation also highlights the value of boundaries and the experiential nature of knowledge in therapy and the slow and incremental process of change. 

Thanks AI. 

Takeaways

• Misunderstandings and confusion can arise in conversations, leading to humorous moments.
• People often have misconceptions about therapy and expect therapists to have ready-made solutions for all problems. Therapists should ask clients what is helpful in the therapy process to better understand their needs and tailor their approach.
• Insight alone is not enough for change; it must be accompanied by experiential learning and behavioral changes.
• Change occurs slowly and incrementally, and it requires ongoing maintenance and effort.
• Therapy is not about fixing someone else; it is about personal growth and self-discovery.

Chapters

01:00
Misunderstandings and Confusion

03:04
Elon Musk's Tweet

04:21
Cleaning and Organization

05:16
Hoarder House Flippers

06:15
Extreme Hoarding

07:43
Parenting Challenges

09:30
Clutter and Organization

10:02
Asking for Advice

11:38
Broad Questions and Uncertainty

12:35
Expectations of Therapists

13:11
Therapists' Knowledge and Expertise

14:15
Disappointing Answers

15:03
The Fallibility of Experts

16:36
Common Misconceptions about Therapy

20:16
The Complexity of Diagnoses

21:04
Bureaucracy and Key Performance Indicators

21:24
Misconceptions about Therapy

22:20
Coaching and the Change Process

24:13
The Importance of Understanding Deeper Issues

25:10
Therapy and Managed Care

26:07
Misuse of Therapy

27:03
Boundaries and Therapy

28:04
The Role of Therapists

29:39
The Value of Therapy

30:14
The Unawareness of Therapists

31:40
The Importance of Asking Clients What's Helpful

32:09
The Experiential Nature of Knowledge

33:31
Change Requires Experience

36:01
The Addiction to Instantaneous Change

37:12
The Limitations of Insight

38:40
The Importance of Taking Action

41:26
The Slow Process of Change

45:06
The Slow Accumulation of Insight and Change

46:05
The Importance of Small Victories

47:29
Working with Teenagers and Parents

48:22
The Value of Understanding Mental Health

49:17
The Shift in Perception and Progress

50:16
Insight and Outside Perspective in Therapy

51:37
Desiring Change and Motivation

53:48
Celebrating Small Changes

55:25
The Importance of Transition and Rhythm in Life

56:20
The Impact of Learning About Mental Health

58:05
Using Tools and Timers for Productivity

01:01:46
Sharing Personal Experiences in Therapy

01:05:11
Normalizing Experiences and Feeling Less Isolated

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Hey guys. We're all on spring break this week. We know that will disappoint some of you. So, we reposted one of our most listened to episodes, Men and Depression. It's a topic that's been coming up for us lately, so we figure it was a good time to repost. Give a listen. Again. Fall in love, all over again. 

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On today's episode,  Matt, Mike, and Rob discuss the mislabeling of men as narcissists and the negative consequences of such labeling. They then explore various defensive behaviors that men often exhibit including compartmentalization, intellectualization, projection, emotional avoidance, and displacement. and provide insights into these defense mechanisms and their impact on relationships. This was written by AI. How cool are we? Well, this part wasn't, obviously. Or maybe it was and AI has become self aware enough to consider itself cool. As stated previously, I, for one, welcome our supreme overlords. 

Episode Takeaways

Mislabeling men as narcissists can lead to a misunderstanding of their behaviors and hinder personal growth.

Men often exhibit defensive behaviors such as compartmentalization and intellectualization.

Compartmentalization involves separating different aspects of one's life, while intellectualization involves analyzing situations from a detached perspective.

Understanding these defense mechanisms can help improve communication and foster healthier relationships. Compartmentalization involves separating different aspects of one's life or emotions to manage them separately.

Intellectualization is the process of focusing on facts and logic to avoid or minimize emotional responses.

Projection occurs when individuals attribute their own thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to others.

Emotional avoidance involves suppressing or denying one's emotions to avoid discomfort or conflict.

Displacement is redirecting strong emotions or frustrations towards a person or object that feels less threatening.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

03:02 Mislabeling Men as Narcissists

09:16 Exploring Defensive Behaviors

20:19 Intellectualization as a Defense Mechanism

21:18 Compartmentalization

22:30 Intellectualization

23:35 Projection

25:13 Emotional Avoidance

26:38 Displacement

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