The Neurodivergent Professor

You're probably like, 'mind control, what's this guy talking about?' Either he's going to tell us how we need to get in our heads and understand what's going on, or he's going to talk about how the algorithm has us under its spell.

It reminds me of this scene from Monsters, Inc (you'll have to go to www.chrisburcher.com to see the clip).

This week I'm taking about the first thing. Although I'm a huge an of getting out from under the algorithms, I think that comes about as an artifact of understanding yourself. So there's no need to do anything specifically to avoid that. Except what I talk about in this episode.

The mind control I'm concerned with is how we understand and relate to our minds. And, first things first, I use the term 'mind' to describe the emergent properties of our brains that make us, us. In other words:

Brain + You = Mind

And what makes you, you is up for debate. But I use other words like 'soul', and 'self, to describe it and you can see what I think about those in the respective Episodes. 

A critical first step in any type of personal growth, self reflection, or awareness includes a kind of 'looking inward' to see what's going on. This can be as rote as sitting down and thinking about or journaling about what you like to do for fun, or as complex as writing out your values. Ultimately, though, I think this type of self-reflection becomes a part of you. A habit, maybe.

And I keep coming back to meditation as a model. Not meditation, per se, but the idea that we can incorporate a similar awareness in our daily lives. And this behavior, or habit, or whatever you want to call it becomes a PART of you. I guess that is a habit.

But the road to this, Mind Control thing, becoming a habit can be long and twisted. The combination of Episodes 81-86 lay out the pieces, but the common thread is simply awareness.

What are you doing right now? What ELSE are you doing? What are you THINKING? What's GOING ON in your head? Who is doing the thinking or talking? Can you ask those voices to quiet down and look even deeper?

One thing I have learned to do is to change my SCOPE. It's like in the movies where the camera slowly, or in steps, draws back and creates depth. You may be looking at the main character, then the camera sweeps back and now you're looking at them at work. Then it steps back again and you see the whole town. Then again and you see the whole Earth. 

When you can learn to step back, which is an element (whether you realize it or not) that we do in meditation, journaling, even exercising, then you develop one of the muscles that allows us a degree of Mind Control. 

And, of course, by Mind Control I simply mean being aware of your thoughts - which allows you the capacity to CHOOSE where to direct your attention.

Hopefully this stuff is starting to make sense - or maybe it already does. But if you keep on practicing these things; awareness, attention, meditation, journaling. . . you WILL build the skills just like you build muscles when lifting weights.

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

Analog nomads . . . . . 

When I decided to focus on the Are vs Should Problem, or the struggle between the person you ARE and the person you feel like you SHOULD BE, I was thinking mostly about the SHOULD part. 

To me, the issue isn't so much about figuring out who we ARE, it's more about telling the SHOULDs to be quiet. And figuring out how to do that. 

The AREs are things we want to be, know we are, and find comfort in. The SHOULDs tend to be things we don't necessarily want to do or be, but feel (for varying reasons) that we are supposed to do or be. 

In the AVS interview series, I've talked to people across the spectrum of ARE to SHOULD. Most people talked about their struggles with the SHOULDs, even if they were/are currently living mostly in their ARE. I think most of us would rather be seen as living in our AREs, but few of us are doing it well. I think you will agree that Pat exemplifies what it looks like when you are minimally influenced by the status quo.

Pat Schulte is someone I thought might not have much to say at all about the SHOULD, because it seems to me he, and his family, live primarily in their ARE.

I knew about Pat, his wife Ali, and their two kids, through their blog called Bumfuzzle. I am interested in sailing, and as you may know my wife and I plan to move on to a sailboat at some point in the not-too-distant future. So I discovered Bumfuzzle as I searched for role models who had done similar, seemingly crazy, things.

And if you didn't catch the word 'blog', let me mention that there are no videos nor audio on Bumfuzzle. It is a blog in the most classic, analog sense. Pat writes posts about their adventures. They are accompanied by excellent digital images, but that's as far as it goes with respect to the YouTube, Instagram world we live in. Nearly all of the other adventurer web pages feature video nowadays.

But that doesn't detract from the Bumfuzzle story - it accentuates the coolness of it. The adventureness of it. The ARE of it.

In short, Pat and Ali left the rat race as we know it in their late 20s and have not stopped in twenty years. Whether boat, car, motorhome, or camper trailer they have lived a nomadic lifestyle. They seem to go where they please, however they choose, at whatever pace they happen to take. It's the most carefree thing I can think of.

Yet Pat holds a job, albeit one that allows him to work remotely, and they are not independently wealthy. They also have two kids along for the adventure. Their lives are far from easy, but they seem simple. They figured out what they wanted and made it happen.

Which is why I like using the term analog to describe them - and Pat didn't seem to mind this term. They are like analog nomads. . . . 

Before KEW, reading their blog made me feel like I was watching Star Wars. It seemed like such a fantasy. But they are DOING IT. The live it. And they don't seem to be any worse for the wear. In fact, and you can see this in the interview, Pat seems so . . . . normal. So peaceful and calm. So centered. So wise. 

Maybe the AREness of their lifestyle isn't correlated to that vibe. But I'm going to argue it is.

I find Bumfuzzle inspring. It is so important to have a mirror to reflect back to you the life you want. I hope the Schulte's adventures do this for you as they do for me. I hope you are inspired to live more in your ARE, and to make the sacrifices to do so knowing there is value there. 

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

Quick show of hands. Who among us has ever been told they should journal?

Even though this is a 'should' statement, people who say 'you should journal' mean well.

I'll say it, and I mean well.

But I'll say it without using the word 'should'.

You will benefit from journaling. 

If that sounds like a money-back guarantee, it's the closest thing you can get for free.

But also remember, free advice is worth what you pay for it.

Except that journaling is on, like, 100% of all the 'to-do' lists.

Therapists. Coaches. Teachers. Parents. Counselors. 

They all know about journaling. It is a powerful tool. 

But what is it?

It's LITERALLY just writing out your thoughts. Either on paper or on a computer or typewriter. 

Hell, my podcast is arguably an exercise in journaling and there's no writing involved.

Journaling is facilitating a flow of thoughts from your brain/mind to some neutral zone.

This facilitation process is fairly easy, but it does several things.

It alters HOW the thoughts move. 

In your brain or mind the thoughts are in a known space and will behave as they do in that space.

Often this behavior is insane, monkey-like, and we refer to it as the 'monkey-mind'. It seems out of control and fear inducing.

Other times thought behavior is more concise and cohesive. "Man, I'm really craving an IPA tonight."

Mostly, your mind is a bunch of background noise you don't pay attention to.

When you journal, you ARE PAYING ATTENTION.

You are also directing the behavior of the thoughts to wrangle them on to the paper. 

These processes create and require AWARENESS of the thoughts and that you pay ATTENTION to how they form, how you form them on the page.

Those processes, in and of themselves, will induce great effects. 

But I can't really tell you WHAT or HOW. That's up to your system. It's all about how it UNFOLDS. It will be unique to you.

So. For the low-low price of free I'll give you a money-back guarantee that journaling will benefit you but I can't tell you how, or what, or even when.

I know. It's the deal of the century.

But that's how personal growth works, isn't it?

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

Have you heard people say that you can't control what happens to you, but you CAN control how you react to what happens to you?

It's so true, but it isn't easy.

We all want some degree of control in our lives. Or wish for it. Long for it.

But control is an illusion. 

I'm not saying life is 100% chaotic and unpredictable, but being attached to controlling things really only wears you out.

I have learned that if I let go of (a little bit of) control my life is more comfortable. 

And increasing comfort (and calm, and peace) is my goal.

How, then, do we figure out how to live with less control?

One of the ways is simply called 'mindfulness'. And choosing a particular direction or frequency of your mind is called a 'mindset'. 

Choosing to be mindful in a particular mindset is how.

And, as you see on the internet, there are thousands of resources for being mindful or changing your mindset.

But what I have found is, you have to make a huge effort to direct your own path.

In other words, this is mostly a DIY project.

Yes, you need to learn what you want - and that's what we are doing now on KEW, applying the Are vs Should Problemand figuring out how to live more in our AREs and less in our SHOULDs.

So you really have to sit down and figure out what your values are, what your dreams are, what gets you out of bed in the morning, and what you WANT for your life.

But I'll tell you, being mindful - being aware, being able to direct your attention, being able to change your perspective from focusing solely on yourself to that of an observer and even other people - is key.

Mindfulness essentially means paying attention to your thoughts and checking them against your values.

Mindset, again, is a flavor of mindfulness. 

Growth mindsets choose to admit they don't know everything and are open to learning.

Abundance mindsets choose to believe the world has abundant resources for them.

A mindset of connectedness chooses to believe all people are connected and thus affect one another.

In other words, your mindset flavor is a choice. 

Do you choose to live a fulfilled life of joy and calm?

Or do you choose to focus on what you don't have?

What do you choose?

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

Are you self aware?

We all think we are. Just like we all think we're right, as we learned from Paul Gadola in multiple interviews.

And, really, if you are taking the time to wonder whether or not you are self aware, you probably are.

Our awareness is one of our greatest strengths. It's a super power. Awareness is how we pay attention to the world around us. It is the currency we use to relate to the world and each other.

Awareness is the conduit through which we connect our individual selves or souls to the outside world or universe. 

We can learn to control awareness using our attention. If awareness is the noun, attention is the verb. We use our attention to set an INTENTION toward the universe. What do we want to spend our attention on?

If you're like me, you spend too much attention wasting your awareness on your d$%& smart phone. Or looking for the next distraction driven dopamine hit. But we're trying to do better.

The easiest and most effective way to train your attention is meditation. A lot has been said lately, and over the passed 3500 years, about meditation and it often gets overly complicated.

Meditation is simply how we train ourselves to pay attention. It is the practice of awareness.

I'll talk a bit about meditation in this Episode and how I came to practice. But don't worry, the next couple of Episodes will fall under the guise of Meditation, Mindfulness, and Mindset.

Many cogs of the same wheel. 

For anyone involved in, or curious about Meditation, Attention, Awareness, Mindset, and Mindfulness will benefit from this series of Episodes. I hope you will join me. 

I appreciate your comments, likes, follows, views, and subscribes. I hope we get a chance to interact.

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

What DO you need? Have you ever really asked yourself this question?

And I don't mean what do you 'sort of what right now to pacify or distract you', I mean what do you REALLY need in your life that you don't have enough of?

I, and many of my guests, talk a lot about Values and knowing your 'Why', and knowing what you need is related to those ideas.

It amazes me how we THINK we know all this stuff about ourselves, but most of the time we are rushing to find some suitable answer rather than putting in the hard work of considering how we really FEEL.

And, sure, there's a bunch of folks out there - especially the macho men - who will laugh at the idea that we even have feelings. But if you're reading this you don't worry about what they think. 

Knowing how you feel is a critical step to self awareness. To knowing what you care about. To understanding your values. And to having filter or guidepost to help you prioritize your limited energies in you life.

As we navigate this thing called life, I find it is increasingly important to know what to prioritize or we end up wasting time. Too much time.

Many have said that time only goes by more quickly, and as I near 50 I can attest it is true. 

If you're thinking about how to get the most out of the time YOU have left, this Episode should help. As will the previous and future Episodes. Please consider following, commenting, and subscribing so I know you're listening.

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

Have you ever met someone who seems to be doing exactly what they were meant to be doing? I have. And this week I'm sharing our conversation as part of the Are vs Should Problem discussion. 

Emmanuelle Chasse is a helper. Like many we've interviewed on KEW, she helps people through her writing, podcasting, and coaching. You can find out all about how she can help you here: https://rapidtransformation.ca. Reach out and she can help you make a rapid transformation.

It was great to get Emma's insight about being the people we Are and struggling with the people we feel like we Should be. There's too much shouldding in the world, and she has seen her fair share. In herself and her clients.

From sticking to diets to not beating yourself up to learning to understand you are meant to be who you are, Emma has dedicated her career to helping people. Using talk therapy techniques, hypnotherapy, and learning from professionals in their respective techniques, you will find solutions.

I hope you enjoy listening to what Emma has to say as much as I did. Below is a short snippet of wisdom if you need a taste.

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

If you have not seen the Social Dilemma, it is a great little conspiracy theory. And one I can get behind. The gist is internet companies (facebook, youtube, etc.) have developed complex algorithms (models, simplifications) that monitor your online (and off, through your phone microphone, alexa, etc.) behavior. These companies then use this information to determine what advertisements you might click on, perpetuating the online economy.

If you think about this in capitalistic terms, it's genius. We've now gone far beyond mere psychological manipulation, popularized by the 'mad men' of the 50s through today, and can now trick you into letting them measure your actual behavior. Whereas before the estimates were 'pretty good', now they can be 'excellent'. 

In short, your attention has become a product thanks to sophisticated (not really) math.

So this episode is all about how we simplify the world. Sometimes this is a very good thing. We weed through the nonsense to focus on what is important - watch for a Prioritizing episode in the near future. But in the case of the YouTube algorithm, the advertisers are simplifying you into a robot that consumes. You, in short, become the proverbial cog in the capitalism wheel. You are, in the best case scenario, providing free data to the overall human model. And at the worst case, you are being manipulated into believing things you may not choose to believe under normal circumstances.

Of course, it's easy for me to believe this 'what could be a conspiracy theory' because I have a negative mindset toward advertising and marketing. While I understand the need to get in front of people's eyes to make them aware of your products or message (like my blog and podcast), I greatly dislike the use of manipulation, whether indirect (psychology) or direct (click measurements). 

But this Episode is really just about models. What they are and how they are used. Whether for good or evil.

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

Are you a parent? Do you know any parents? Do you think you might ever BE a parent? Do you HAVE parents?

Surely you answered yes to at least one of those questions. And, if so, this interview is going to benefit you in many ways.

Kate Stark teaches parents to feel better about themselves. And this is a very timely and necessary gift. See the video snippet below to see what I mean. It might be something you need to hear right now. I know it often is for me.

Kate has a gift of compassion. And sense. And knowledge. And wisdom. See, she's a perfect fit for what I'm trying to do hear.

Kate really gets the Are vs Should Problem, and shares with us the many ways parenting exemplifies this struggle. We Should ourselves into patterns of shame and depression because we want to be good parents. We forget that, as long as our intentions come from love, that we ARE naturally good at parenting. 

Kate Stark reminds us of that. This is a must listen.

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.

Thank you for following along as we gear up for the 'how-to' section of the Are vs Should Problem.

We spent over 30 Episodes outlining various elements within the Are vs Should Problem. Turns out this fairly universal issue has a lot going on inside. Because I let these Episodes unfold organically, I didn't know what to expect. The same thing is happening as we transition from the 'whats' to the 'how-tos'.

In my experience as an academic scientist, I came to rely on a non-traditional approach to my experimentation. I wanted to take the simplest, most sincere, and least complex approach I could to answering a problem. In part, this strategy aimed to oppose something I saw a lot of among my colleagues and peers: smoke screening. I saw a lot of academic research that was overly and unnecessarily complex. I always suspected that this strategy aimed to confuse the reader and distract from what was typically pretty weak science.

I try my best to aim for the least number of parts, the easiest approach, and tend to favor the explanation that has the fewest parts. I find this attractive and neat. But most importantly, I find these types of approaches and explanations to be the most useful. 

So in this Episode I lay out the approach I will take in the following Episodes 81-??? where I explain what I have learned with respect to 'living a better life' or 'reducing the struggle' or 'living more in the are and less in the should'. I hope you find it helpful in deciding if this is something you're interested in or something you think might agree with your preferred way or learning and understanding.

If you are enjoying this content, please tell your friends.