The Neurodivergent Professor

I am currently working on a larger project that will connect my background in Ecology and Evolutionary Biology with personal growth, psychology, and finding more joy and fulfillment in our lives. In Episode 43 I introduce some evolutionary evidence that every individual human is born to discover their uniqueness (despite how 'woo woo' that sounds), and how NOT doing so goes against evolutionary theory.

The main argument I am making in this episode is that humans have imposed a few other unnatural selection forces upon ourselves. If you watched Episode 43, you will know that the main force I consider unnatural is that of conformity. Despite the evidence (which I find compelling, obviously, though you may not) that our DNA, by its very nature, demands that every human fully realize our uniqueness, yet human societies impose the opposite.

Societal norms, religions, laws, politics, and even the popular arts impose forces that encourage conformity. Because it is our nature to NOT conform, but to be UNIQUE, these forces are unnatural. Sure, norms and laws are important. Driving on one side of the road, wearing clothes, not punching people in the face. These are good things. Here I'm talking about mechanisms that discourage people from being different or to behave 'like everyone else'. On the obvious end, 'white people are better' is an unnatural selection force. On the more obscure end, publishers requiring all books to be written according to a set of approved literary rules may result in really, really great books never being published. 

The essence of unnatural selection is the intention to make everyone the same, and to make life difficult for those who insist on expressing their individuality. You probably won't have to think very long to find examples of this in your own life. I have experience mdany examples in my life, and maybe that's why it's such a big deal to me. 

Therefore, the ultimate travesty of unnatural selection is that the ideas, thoughts, and creativity humans need to survive the future may never come to light because they will be discouraged and effectively 'weeded out' of society. As the world becomes more crowded and less hospitable to humans, it becomes increasingly necessary to find unique ideas and approaches that will alter that path. Solving human problems, or any problem, REQUIRES unique viewpoints. As many as possible. 

I hope you enjoy the episode. Your comments and thoughts are welcome and encouraged as I develop this idea further. 

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David McRaney is the host of the podcast "You Are Not So Smart", the author of a book by the same name, a follow up book called "You Are Now Less Dumb", and is writing his next book about how humans change their minds. His website https://youarenotsosmart.com is so FULL of content that it would be something you'd want to take to a desert island because you'd have a lifetime's worth of entertainment to make you curious.

With a background in both journalism and psychology, David THOROUGHLY researches his topics and then interviews the experts on those subjects. He's a better researcher than most of the academics I used to work with, he understands psychology better than some therapists I've known, and he has a knack for funneling complex subjects into everyday language so that anyone can understand and appreciate them.

And what a gift for us. Anyone interested in the human condition, general psychology, self-help, science, you name it - or anyone just curious about living a human life - David has addressed and eloquently summarized for your enjoyment. 

I was so lucky to have captured an hour or so of his time and to be able to hear him talk about curiosity in the context of his life experience, knowledge, and wisdom. I'm sure you will find something that makes you curious in this interview because it covers a lot in a fairly short time. I hope you enjoy learning about the man behind the research. David McRaney. 

And if you're coming to KEW for the first time, please check out my back catalog of episodes at www.chrisburcher.com

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As y'all may know, I have always felt a little different. Like an outsider. People in the 80s may have called me a 'nonconformist'. But as an adult I have learned that many people feel this way, at least some of the time. And, like I say in Episode 20: We all feel different (But we're all the same), we all suffer from the imposter syndrome or feeling like we're out of place. It's universal.

Part of this, I think, is because we are 'supposed' to be different. The entire purpose of our DNA is to enable each individual human differentially equipped to respond to our changing environmental conditions. This, in short, provides the machinery for our species to persist through time. Things change, so we are equipped to change. Then, of course, the environmental conditions will select which traits (the unique stuff) work in the future, and unfortunately which ones do not. 

The problem, then, isn't that we are all unique. IN FACT, it's the solution. The solution to our problems. So I'm wondering (and continuing to explore as part of a larger project) whether we are creating problems by not embracing our uniqueness. See, the pressures we feel that lead us to believe we are different are UNNATURAL. The world, society, our peers, our jobs, they are all imposing Unnatural selective forces that attempt to make us the same. Conformity rules in society. 

Maybe that's going a bit too far for this introductory episode, but hopefully you see the bigger picture. 

I believe we need to stop trying so hard to conform, and instead take a long hard look at who we really are. If we can develop the aspects of our personalities that make us unique, think of what we can accomplish.

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I met DJ Doran when he reached out to interview me about my podcast. We hit it off rather quickly, and of course I had to have him on to discuss Curiosity.

In fact, the whole Curiosity interview series was inspired by DJ!

See, DJ told me my podcast made him curious, and he's a very curious guy as you'll see. And I realized that I am driven, in large part, by curiosity. It's in my daily life, it's in my music, and it's in KEW. But I had never thought about it, and certainly hadn't realized it.

DJ is an amazing guy. After a successful career as a pilot in the Air Force Reserves, he has become a leader and visionary in the LGBTQ community. He has lived on a sailboat. He has a husband and a daughter. He's the model of professionalism, yet super laid back. He's knowledgeable as hell, but maintains a natural curiosity about the world around us.

Curiosity is funny like that. It isn't obvious. Some people have it and others don't seem to care. For people like DJ and me, we sort of automatically bring curiosity into our daily endeavors. We can't help it. It's natural. And, as DJ will explain, curiosity can be very nuanced.

Curiosity can be brave. It can be scary. And it carries with it a certain responsibility to grow.

Curiosity can reveal who your real friends are. It is our ally.

But I'm letting my curiosity be too verbose.

To maintain the organic nature of our chat, I include the entire conversation here. I apologize for my audio, which is distorted, but DJ sounds great.

Please explore DJ's work. You can find links to most of what he does on his facebook site (podcast) and Aequalitas media (his media company).

I hope you enjoy listening to or watching the interview as much as we did doing it.

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Recently I discovered, or I guess RE-discovered, my 13 year old self around the time I moved from Georgia to Ohio. I figured this was an important time in my life and have always wondered how it might have affected me. By exploring my feelings and thoughts, from my heart instead of my mind, I remembered my bedroom and what it represented.

I realized that I had created this spot, at least partly, in response to some experiences with the outside world. See, I was bullied quite a bit as a kid. And I'm not looking for sympathy about that, I'm trying to illustrate how life-changing being bullied can be and hopefully relate to others that have had similar experiences or know people who have.

I had constructed a safe place where I could be me because sometimes being me in the real world was painful. What's super cool about this, is realizing what a healthy response to bullying this was! Our reactions to negative experiences can be all kinds of things, good and bad, but creating a safe place seems to be at the top of the good list. Instead of changing who I was, I just protected it - and continued to be myself, but in an environment I could control.

The downside is that I never really dealt with being bullied, and I isolated myself from a lot of outside experiences. Because my room was so safe, I spent a lot of time there while my peers were doing social activities. This, of course, isn't all bad, but i carried some of those fears into adulthood. I also learned to identify myself as a lone wolf and continued to seek safety by isolating myself. 

The universal lesson here is how much we need to feel safe, and that when we aren't we can create actual safe spaces but also the illusion of safety. On the good side there are things like creating a comfortable home and family environment where people we love know who we are and around whom we can be ourselves. The bad side is turning to alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, or whatever to create the illusion of control or safety. I guess I'm pretty lucky that this 13 year old kid made some pretty decent decisions.

How about you? Do you have safety in your life?

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Mandy Napier resides in Australia where she shares her thirteen years of experience as the 'mindset alchemist', a high performance mindset and executive coach (and via zoom, obviously). She has represented Australia in the international Iron Man competition in Hawaii. After being forced to give up her sport, she focused on getting herself unstuck. She now shares how she did it directly with clients, via several books including, "Creating Healthy Life Habits", and in myriad articles and videos. You can find all of that and more on her website Mindset for Success.

I learned about Mandy when I started Googling people who seemed Curious. I stumbled upon an article she wrote "Why Curiosity is the Essential Skill to Build Right Now", which I thought was a screaming testimonial to the importance of being curious. She appeared to be well versed in coaching, neuroscience, and psychology. Her writing was convincing, and she quoted Einstein. And upon my invitation she agreed to an interview!

The interview stumbled a bit at first due to internet issues on my end, and I had to relocate to my bathroom, of all places, to get a better connection. Mandy waited and remained unphased, which somehow rubbed off on me. Normally I could have let something like that throw me. This was, after all my first interview with someone I didn't know. Her energy is intoxicating. Her confidence is obvious. And she is enthusiastic to help people change. The interview was, as you'll see, pretty amazing. 

Full disclosure, I enjoyed Mandy so much that I am now a client. In few weeks she has taken me farther than years of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT, talk therapy). Mandy has a system. A well earned, tested, and authentic set of tools to take control of your life and get unstuck. So far, so good. 

You will take something away from what Mandy shares here. Mandy is every bit the 'Iron Woman' she always was, but now she can help you change YOUR life. Please check out her links, her articles, her videos, and reach out to her if you are looking for help. Especially if you are currently doing therapy or in a program that doesn't seem to be helping. Enjoy, and thanks for watching or listening. 

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Just checking in this week with some observations about KEW. It's been almost a year and over 40 episodes. I've learned a lot and am doing my best to deliver the highest quality content.

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We, as humans, are comprised of three key components; Head, Heart, and Gut that interact to make up a whole person. When these parts are out of synch, we experience cognitive dissonance - the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. A simpler explanation is just to say we are 'out of whack'.

Though I understand this concept intellectually, it is only recently that I have learned to connect with my Heart and Gut. I have turned a corner in my therapy and coaching. I am learning to place my awareness on these other parts, to shift it from my mind, and to 'check in' with my intuitive and emotional elements. I naively believed that intellectual understanding would result in connectivity and I couldn't have been more wrong.

Though I can't yet coach you or explain how to do this, I can say that it is fairly easy to shift your awareness (for example, during meditation) to your Heart and Gut, and that simply doing this will prepare you for action when the situation arises. A big chunk of the battle is simply knowing how to be aware of your parts.

We spend so much time in our heads we create, and live in, a state of cognitive dissonance. I would personally like to change that and maybe this episode will help you get on that path.

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One of my greatest character flaws is being resistant to people. When I meet new people I often assume they won't like the 'real me' and this often prevents me from developing deep relationships. Sometimes this is protective, because some people might ridicule you or react negatively to who you really are. But the worst result from this type of approach is not giving people a chance. I'm not sure I did that with Paul, but when we first met I didn't see the potential friendship because I was in my protective bubble - and that's on me.

Fortunately for me, Paul reached out to me and we have developed a friendship which has grown easily and effortlessly. And I owe him a debt of gratitude for initiating that and sort of pushing through any walls I might have had up. This is the first lesson Paul taught me. I guess the lesson there is to be open to the world rather than closed off. To believe that the world wants and needs your unique vision and that it's your responsibility to share it. 

Paul Gadola owns a CrossFit gym (www.ironmountain.fitness) and his wife owns a healthy meals business (www.sunmealprep.com) so they literally embody the mind/body/spirit mantra, living it every day. Paul's messages are so well informed, well thought out, and COMPLETE that it's hard not to learn something from his videos and messages. His instagram offers so much to the spiritual thinker you will have plenty to chew on for weeks. And it's hard to argue with how he has compiled so many viewpoints, so many belief systems, and so much diversity in his messages. He seems to have filtered out all the junk and come up with a holistic, all-inclusive organization of a way to approach enlightenment for our species. 

Though I had a few issues during recording, we were able to capture a lot of Paul's wisdom in this Episode and there is a lot here to help us all grow and understand ourselves better. I strongly urge you to check out his instagram series or his facebook page to go deeper into what he is offering. And maybe send him some encouragement to package all of this into a book or something;)

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With respect to economics, people often say that you have to grow to stay in business. I heard this a lot when I tried to run my business at a static level of production (i.e., no growth). I found that we actually HAD MORE MONEY left over when we controlled expenses and held production at the level of demand. I discovered that we spent so much money on growth that we were more profitable when we didn't have those line items. Imagine that!

So it bugs me when people adhere to that mantra: Grow or Die! It not only doesn't make sense, it can be detrimental.

Take human population size. The more people, the more resources are consumed, and the more damage is done to our home. Now, we could certainly do this differently, but there is a concept called Carrying Capacity that says any population in a given area can only be as large as the resources available to support it.

So growth can be bad.

Now, I'm only talking about growth that consumes resources here. Personal growth. Learning. Musical ability. There are many types of growth that are healthy and, I believe, essential to humanity. But when considering consumptive growth, we absolutely have to start accounting for true resource use - after all, accounting is a critical part of business, right? And I argue that we have done some pretty poor accounting when it comes to big business and the environment.

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