Angel stops in to talk about his wedding dress donation drive and recap the Charity Foot Golf event played over the weekend. Someone is predicting another day the world will end, but Shawn doesn't quite have the weekday right. Dear Abby (or her daughter, rather) issues an apology. Someone at Deadspin has an issue on how you cheese your burger.

Tax-Free Weekend is here and Shawn is feeling nostalgic about the idea of back-to-school shopping. C-Lane and Sabrina, not so much. A towel for tatas is exploding on the market. Deathwish gets a reboot. Baltimore wants a weekend without murder.

Sabrina is done going out of her way to take care of strays on the iHeart lot. Pet owners becoming anti-vaccine raise the question if animals can be autistic. Shawn's girlfriend follows the tale of a bird without feathers. A Muslim family says a McDonald's employee put bacon on their sandwiches. Shawn think they're lying.

Somebody is offended that Trump said "Paddywagon." NASA has a new six-figure job opening that seems, at least for now, to be very easy going. A new alternative to condoms doesn't seem safe to Shawn or C-Lane. Johnny Tempo calls in to insist he isn't demanding.

The internet was abuzz about the suddenly shortened tenure of Anthony Scaramucci at the White House. Sabrina finds more kittens in the parking lot. HBO responds to reports of an infiltration, but won't call it a "hack." C-Lane hints at some inside info he received about a dispatch. Shawn is fascinated by a list of nicknames George W. Bush called people during his presidency.

Shawn is obsessed with a new animated GIF of C-Lane rocking out at a Maroon 5 concert. MTV is trying to capture back there dwindling youth audience by bringing back TRL. Shawn reminisces about DJing at a wedding convention.

The world might be over after a threat from North Korea. Carnival workers come out of the woodwork after a story is brought up about a Fireball ride malfunctions, killing a passenger and injuring several others. Shawn is puzzled by Christmas displays this early in the year.

Trump announces a transgender military ban over Twitter. Shawn and Sabrina originally thought the screenshots to be fake. A website tells the show exactly what is found in their tapwater. Shawn is anti-Australia after seeing the size of a a huntsman spider terrorizing a woman's house. A list of hated office slang leaves some head scratching.

Everyone is startled by a new intro to the show. Some reactions are mixed but most like it. Sabrina is excited to be in it but skeptic about the manner in which it was edited. Donald Trump made an awkward speech to a Boy Scout Jamboree. Florida is getting a long-awaited makeover for its driver licenses. C-Lane's has needed one for much longer.

Shawn and Sabrina are freaked out by a picture of a girl's foot after being attacked by a fish they've never heard of. Jury Duty includes a jury-free story about a company offering to "chip" its employees. The show and dispatchers examine their terrible graduation songs.