Dr. Susan Nathan, a palliative care physician at the Boston VA, and Thor Ringler, a therapist and poet at the Madison VA, share the story of My Life, My Story — a groundbreaking program that brings veterans’ voices into their medical charts through first-person narratives. Born from a desire to foster empathy and human connection in clinical care, the program has now spread to over 80 VA hospitals nationwide. Susan and Thor reflect on the origins of the initiative, the impact these stories have on patient-clinician relationships, and the profound moments of vulnerability, dignity, and healing that emerge from the storytelling process. We discuss the art of deep listening, the logistics of writing and sharing these narratives, and their vision for expanding this model to institutions beyond the VA.

Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website. 

The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Corey Feist, co-founder of the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation, shares the story of his sister-in-law, Dr. Lorna Breen, a dedicated New York City emergency physician who died by suicide in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. Corey reflects on her passion for medicine, the shock and grief that followed her death, and the flood of messages from healthcare workers that exposed deep stigma and barriers to seeking mental health care. He describes how this outpouring sparked the creation of the foundation and the passing of the Dr. Lorna Breen Health Care Provider Protection Act, driving systemic change to better support clinicians. We also explore ongoing advocacy, progress in reforming licensing and credentialing practices, and the power of community, collaboration, and action in preserving clinician wellbeing. 

Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website. 

The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Dr. Wendy Dean, psychiatrist, writer, and co-founder of Moral Injury of Healthcare, reveals how a profit-driven healthcare system is wounding the very clinicians sworn to care for patients. Drawing from her book If I Betray These Words, Dean explains the concept of moral injury—how systemic betrayal, not personal weakness, often drives physician distress—and shares harrowing true stories of doctors punished, silenced, or even destroyed for putting patient safety first. From corporate consolidation gutting primary care to non-compete clauses that trap physicians, she exposes the forces undermining patient-first medicine and highlights the courageous clinicians fighting back through lawsuits, new care models, and bold advocacy.

Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website. 

The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Today, we're releasing a special bonus episode featuring Emily and our "uncertainty correspondent" Alexa Miller, in conversation with the ABIM Foundation. Together, they reflect on the key insights from creating the Uncertainty in Medicine series.

Thank you to the ABIM Foundation for hosting and recording this webinar. To sign up for a webinar in the future, visit buildingtrust.org/webinars.

Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Host: Pamela Browner White

Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller

Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

In the series finale, we explore a different type of uncertainty—the uncertainty that arises around the healthcare system itself. This episode follows Ed Stratton, a stage IV cancer patient who beat his cancer, only to be denied a life-saving liver transplant by his insurance provider. His daughter Erin, armed with industry knowledge and unshakable determination, teams up with a healthcare whistleblower and an AI-powered startup to wage an extraordinary battle for his life. We end with a quiet reflection on uncertainty, and what it means to keep going. 

Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Host: Emily Silverman, MD

Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller

Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

What does it mean to live well in a world where nothing is certain — not in medicine, not in life? In this episode, we follow a high school teacher who asks his students to examine “the good life” through philosophy, Buddhism, and existential inquiry. We meet two women — a Buddhist monk and a disability rights advocate — who bring spiritual wisdom to the messy realities of illness, caregiving, and embodiment. Their stories, woven with reflections on impermanence, suffering, and compassion, offer a new way of thinking about uncertainty: not as something to fix, but as something to live with.

Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Host: Emily Silverman, MD

Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller

Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Today, we explore the paradox of mortality: something both certain and utterly unknowable. Through a haunting parable from Ursula K. Le Guin and stories from doctors and loved ones, we hear what happens when people try to plan for death—or avoid it. A daughter processes her mother’s calm decision to pursue assisted dying. A physician grapples with an ambiguous advance directive. A neurointensivist weighs the line between hope and false hope. What do we do when clear answers are impossible? And what happens when our attempts to control death only bring more suffering?  And in the midst of all this uncertainty, how do we find peace?

Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Host: Emily Silverman, MD

Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Today, we step inside the studio of visual artist Leila Simon Hayes, whose bold, shape-driven designs are born from a process rooted in imperfection, intuition, and trust. Through her story, we explore how Leila’s creative practice helped her navigate decades of chronic pain and medical dismissal, eventually leading her to healing not through certainty, but through listening—both to her art and her body. Her journey invites us to reconsider our own relationship with uncertainty, and to ask: what happens when we stop demanding answers and start embracing the unknown?

Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Host: Emily Silverman, MD

Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller

Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Today, we explore the hidden layers of communication in medicine—what gets said, what doesn’t, and how uncertainty lives not just in the clinical data, but in the space between people. From a telemedicine encounter with a stubbornly independent patient in the Santa Cruz mountains, to a deeply personal story of navigating breast cancer risk, and finally to the ICU, where one physician is trying to revolutionize how teams talk about the unknown, this episode invites listeners into the gray zones of uncertainty and the doctor-patient relationship.

Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Host: Emily Silverman, MD

Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller

Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Today, we step into the dance studio with improvisational dance artist Chris Aiken, whose work lives at the intersection of uncertainty, movement, and presence. With insights that resonate far beyond the dance studio, Chris explores how attention, poetic instinct, and even failure are essential tools for responding creatively under pressure—much like an ER doctor at a moment of crisis.

Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack.

The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation.

The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Host: Emily Silverman, MD

Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller

Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo