This episode we head to North Dakota, a place that is extremely flat, very windy, and filled with some of the kindest humans I’ve ever met, including Dr. Erik Heitkamp, a hospitalist in Fargo, and Courtney Koebele, the Executive Director of the North Dakota Medical Association.

Together, we dig into what physician advocacy actually looks like at the state level, not the cable-news chaos, but the real work: drafting bills, educating legislators, protecting hospital workers, fighting bad vaccine legislation, improving prior authorization laws, and making sure evidence-based medicine still has a seat at the table.

We talk about why doctors often feel hesitant to get involved, why advocacy doesn’t actually require that much time, and how telling one patient’s story can change policy faster than a stack of statistics. We also get into recording patients, AI charting consent, scope-of-practice battles, rural medicine realities, and why state medical associations might be one of the last places healthcare progress is still happening.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the state of healthcare, this episode is your reminder that wins are still happening… just closer to home than you think.

Takeaways:

Advocacy Isn’t Politics: It’s education, storytelling, and showing up when legislation affects patient care.

State-Level Wins Are Real: Prior authorization reform, hospital worker protection, and evidence-based vaccine policy actually passed.

Stories Beat Statistics: One patient story can change a law faster than a spreadsheet.

Modern Threats to Trust: Recording doctors, AI charting, and social media are reshaping clinical encounters.

Getting Involved Is Easier Than You Think: Sometimes it’s just joining your state medical association and speaking up once.

Want more Dr. Erik Heitkamp & Courtney Koebele?

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NDMEDASSN

Twitter: https://x.com/NDMedAssn

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/north-dakota-medical-association

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ndmedicalassn

https://www.ndmed.org/

—

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information.

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After surviving Disney motion-simulator rides that nearly ended me, I dive into a question that’s been rattling around my brain all break: if AI replaces doctors… who gets sued when something goes wrong?

We talk AI hype, liability, tech companies discovering malpractice culture the hard way, and why replacing physicians isn’t as simple as Silicon Valley thinks it is. Then we get back to basics: how to actually take an eye history, what matters when someone says their vision is blurry, and how to tell when double vision is a big deal versus just dry eye.

And finally, a real patient with sky-high eye pressure, surprisingly little pain, and a diagnosis I haven’t seen since residency. It’s a “welcome back” episode that somehow covers Disneyland, AI ethics, and Posner-Schlossman syndrome, because of course it does.

Takeaways:

Why AI replacing doctors raises a question no one wants to answer: who’s legally responsible when it fails?

The two history questions that instantly change how worried you should be about blurry vision.

How to quickly tell monocular from binocular double vision and avoid an unnecessary stroke workup.

Why flashes, floaters, and “curtains” deserve very different levels of urgency.

A rare glaucoma syndrome that causes eye pressures in the 50s… with surprisingly little pain — and why it made this patient memorable.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

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If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Go to Cozy Earth now for a Buy One Get One Free Pajama Offer from 1/25-2/8! Yes, go to cozyearth.com they are doing a BOGO pajama promo. Just use my Code: KNOCKKNOCKBOGO

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This episode starts with the important questions, like whether I’m emotionally prepared to return to my ancestral homeland of Big Bend National Park, and whether Kristin would rather share a cabin with a venomous snake or a tarantula.

From there, things take a turn into real life: a med student driving for Uber and Lyft just to make ends meet. That story opens up a bigger conversation about medical school debt, why med students somehow aren’t paid anything, and how it makes zero sense that people training to become doctors are expected to survive without income, or time to work.

Then we crack open First Aid and let Kristin pick our fate. That leads us into adult primary brain tumors, specifically meningiomas and hemangioblastomas, including why meningiomas can be sneaky, asymptomatic, and surprisingly common, and how hemangioblastomas connect to Von Hippel–Lindau disease and renal cell carcinoma.

Takeaways:

Big Bend Reality Check — Cabins, snakes, tarantulas, scorpions, and unresolved marital fear negotiations.

Med Student Money Math — Why driving Uber during medical school should not be the solution.

Meningiomas Explained — Common, usually benign, often asymptomatic… until they’re not.

Hemangioblastomas & VHL — Rare brain tumors tied to a genetic syndrome and kidney cancer.

Still Googling Medicine — A reminder that even doctors sometimes stare at First Aid wondering where their tuition money went.

—

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information.

Go to Cozy Earth now for a Buy One Get One Free Pajama Offer from 1/25-2/8! Yes, go to cozyearth.com they are doing a BOGO pajama promo. Just use my Code: KNOCKKNOCKBOGO

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In this episode of Knock Knock Eye, I start by breaking down Elon Musk’s latest medical hot take. The idea that everyone should get a yearly full-body MRI interpreted by AI. Then I talk about why I finally said screw it and paid cash for my own medical care after insurance insisted my testicles might have magically regenerated.

And finally, a mystery case that starts as blurry vision and floaters and ends with one of the rarest eye cancers we see: primary vitreoretinal lymphoma. It’s a diagnosis so uncommon that even ophthalmologists joke it’s a unicorn, but this patient had the real thing, and the outcome might surprise you.

Takeaways:

Why Elon’s “everyone needs an annual full-body MRI” idea collapses the moment you ask, “Okay… and then what?”

How insurance companies can deny treatment you’ve been on for years and why cash pay sometimes feels like freedom.

The subtle signs that blurred vision and floaters might be something far more serious than posterior uveitis.

Why diagnosing primary vitreoretinal lymphoma requires suspicion, surgery, and a pathologist who knows what they’re looking for.

How aggressive treatment, including injecting chemotherapy directly into the eye, salvaged this patient’s vision and kept cancer from spreading.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

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This week, Kristin and I talk with Jason Pang, Director of EMS, and Joe Stoffolano, Division Chief of Community Risk Reduction in Miami Township, Ohio. These guys take us deep into the world of pre-hospital medicine. We’re talking how EMS is funded, why those funding streams vanish, the future of EMS, and much more.

We also break down how 911 dispatch actually works, how EMS decides what units to send, why response times vary so wildly across the country, and why dispatchers are the unsung heroes of every medical emergency.

If you’ve ever wondered what really happens before a patient hits the hospital doors, or why EMS systems are constantly fighting to stay funded, this is the episode.

Takeaways:

Why property taxes are the backbone of EMS and what scary legislation could wipe out funding overnight.

How pre-hospital blood transfusions actually work, who gets them, and why they’re becoming a game-changer.

What a lateral canthotomy in a helicopter looks like, and why an 11-blade scalpel is not invited.

The emotional weight of dispatchers, and why they’re the only person with you during the worst 10 minutes of your life.

Why EMS is “an ER on wheels”, and how they juggle advanced medicine, unpredictable environments, and community expectations.

—

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information.

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Hollywood, we need to talk. If one more movie shows an eyeball dangling from someone’s cheek, I might start mailing anatomy textbooks to Los Angeles. And while we’re at it, can we please stop calling every wandering eye a “lazy eye”?

After a quick rant about my personal ophthalmology pet peeves, I dive into one of the strangest mystery cases I’ve ever seen: a 47-year-old with sudden, complete ophthalmoplegia and normal imaging. Negative myasthenia testing, normal pupils, normal MRI, nothing made sense until one very specific antibody came back positive.

Takeaways:

Why “lazy eye” rarely means what people think it means and what the term actually refers to.

The Hollywood eyeball trope that needs to be banned forever (optical nerves are short, folks).

How a patient with zero eye movement and a normal MRI sent us searching for rare neuro clues.

Why myasthenia gravis seemed like the obvious answer until every serology test came back negative.

The surprising role a GI infection can play in triggering Miller Fisher syndrome, the rare Guillain-Barré variant that ultimately cracked the case.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by Microsoft Dragon Copilot. Dragon Copilot is an AI clinical assistant that streamlines documentation, surfaces critical information, and automates routine tasks — empowering healthcare teams to focus more on patients and less on administrative work. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glau.cc/Dragon⁠⁠⁠⁠

Go to Cozy Earth now for a Buy One Get One Free Pajama Offer from 1/25-2/8! Yes, go to cozyearth.com they are doing a BOGO pajama promo. Just use my Code: KNOCKKNOCKBOGO

Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content⁠

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This week, Kristin and I answer listener comments about colonoscopy prep, including a truly cursed diet of mashed white vegetables and learn about Cologuard, the screening test where you… mail your poop. Through the actual mail. To a stranger.

We also dive into the ongoing household war known as “Kristin Won’t Stop Sleeping in Her Contacts,” which leads to a horrifying discussion about wrinkly eyeballs, saggy conjunctiva, and what happens when an eyelash embeds itself in your eyelid gland and starts scraping your cornea. Delightful.

Then we get to my new favorite segment: diagnosing cartoon characters. This week we tackle Goofy, who very clearly has a mild form of cyclopia, and debate whether his son Max avoided the gene… or if Goofy needs to have some questions answered at home. We even break down why large eyeballs mean myopia, why Edna Mode is basically a hyperopic queen, and the extremely nerdy world of axial length.

Finally, we open the First Aid book and Kristen learns what an Apgar score actually measures and no, it’s not “how cute the baby is,” and no, the Babinski is not part of it either.

It’s New Year’s nostalgia, poop-mailing, cartoon diseases, eye crimes, and newborn scoring systems, basically, a classic Knock Knock Hi episode.

Takeaways:

The Great New Year’s Trick: How to convince your small children midnight arrives at 9 PM.

Colonoscopy Diet Horror: Boiled pale root vegetables, no grains, no legumes, no joy.

Eye Crimes: Saggy conjunctiva, wrinkly eyeballs, embedded eyelashes, and the marital tension of sleeping in contacts.

Goofy Has Cyclopia: A shockingly thorough medical analysis of cartoon genetics (plus: what’s up with Max?).

Apgar Breakdown: The real meaning of appearance, pulse, grimace, activity, and respiration and why Kristen’s “toe swipe” theory was… not Apgar.

—

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by Microsoft Dragon Copilot. Dragon Copilot is an AI clinical assistant that streamlines documentation, surfaces critical information, and automates routine tasks — empowering healthcare teams to focus more on patients and less on administrative work. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠https://glau.cc/Dragon⁠⁠⁠

Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I start by sharing why First Descents, the nonprofit that helped me rebuild community and trust in my body after cancer, deserves a spot on your end-of-year giving list. And then, because it is Christmas, I diagnose the eyeballs of Charlie Brown, the Grinch, Rudolph, and even Jack Skellington.

From aniridia to jaundice to reindeer esotropia, it’s a holiday episode only an ophthalmologist could make.

Takeaways:

The nonprofit that helped young adult cancer survivors, including me, find community, courage, and connection.

Why Charlie Brown may actually have a real eye disorder (and why that “lovable loser” label is unfair).

The Grinch’s alarming scleral icterus and what it says about his liver.

Why Rudolph’s esotropia would make guiding a sleigh… mildly concerning.

How Jack Skellington manages life with bilateral enucleation and why Sally might actually have the healthiest eyes in Halloween Town.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by Microsoft Dragon Copilot. Dragon Copilot is an AI clinical assistant that streamlines documentation, surfaces critical information, and automates routine tasks — empowering healthcare teams to focus more on patients and less on administrative work. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠https://glau.cc/Dragon⁠⁠⁠

Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s Christmas, which means two things: Kristin’s wearing a periodic-table tree shirt, and I’m reminiscing about the worst cafeteria meal in VA history (“brown meal,” may it never return).

But the real adventure this week? Our kid suddenly developed mysterious brown patches on her skin, smooth, painless, and deeply unsettling for two parents whose medical degrees contain zero pediatrics. Cue the panic Googling, the advice nurse, and the pediatrician casually wiping it off with an alcohol pad like a magic trick.

Then we dive headfirst into microbiology, where we rediscover that: Anaerobes “can’t breathe fresh air,” Encapsulated bacteria are the gym bros of the microbe world, andnd urease-positive organisms somehow got saddled with the mnemonic P CHUNKS.

Takeaways:

Terra Firma-Forme Dermatosis: The completely benign, extremely weird skin condition that wipes right off with alcohol.

Holiday Clinic Life: Why no one wants their eyes dilated on Christmas Eve (except maybe for the sparkly lights).

Anaerobe Mayhem: “Can’t breathe fresh air” and other microbiology mnemonics that should probably be illegal.

Encapsulated Bacteria: The microscopic linebackers that even your spleen has strong opinions about.

P CHUNKS: The urease-positive mnemonic you’ll wish you could forget.

—

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by Microsoft Dragon Copilot. Dragon Copilot is an AI clinical assistant that streamlines documentation, surfaces critical information, and automates routine tasks — empowering healthcare teams to focus more on patients and less on administrative work. Learn more at ⁠⁠https://glau.cc/Dragon⁠⁠

Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I’m answering your YouTube questions, including why my histology shirt is back, and then diving into a mystery case straight from the ICU. A sedated teenager with a swollen face, red eyes, and a whole lot of chemosis needs help, and I show up with… my ophthalmologist luggage.

What I found is something every ICU clinician has seen but doesn’t always recognize: exposure keratopathy, the completely preventable eye emergency that happens when the lids won’t close, the tears disappear, and the cornea gets sacrificed to hospital airflow.

Takeaways:

How facial edema and chemosis in the ICU create the perfect setup for exposure keratopathy and why it often goes unnoticed.

Why artificial tears twice a day are nowhere near enough for a sedated patient who can’t blink.

The simple bedside tools ophthalmologists bring to evaluate non-responsive patients (including the portable slit lamp).

Why corneal abrasions in hospitalized patients can become dangerous fast and how to stop them before they start.

The easiest ICU intervention ever: ointment, moisture chambers, and remembering that eyelids exist for a reason.

To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live 

We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! [email protected]

Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you want more information on models I use:

Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15

--

A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by Microsoft Dragon Copilot. Dragon Copilot is an AI clinical assistant that streamlines documentation, surfaces critical information, and automates routine tasks — empowering healthcare teams to focus more on patients and less on administrative work. Learn more at ⁠⁠https://glau.cc/Dragon⁠⁠

Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices