How can I explain that living together before marriage is not a part of God's plan without having to explain hours of TOB? Do I need to tell my husband about my sexual past? Why is Mary called "Mother Undefiled"?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Q1: I have several nieces and nephews who are cohabitating with their significant others. They have a completely secular view about their sexuality. How can I explain that living together before marriage is not a part of God's plan without having to explain hours of TOB right off the bat? I need to hook them with something so that they'll belive me and I can chip away with TOB slowly.

Q2: I am a wife and mother, and a fairly new convert to the faith. I’ve been deeply grieved by the sin of my past, even though I understand that through the sacramental graces of confession I am forgiven, I fear I must also seek forgiveness from my husband. In our courtship, I failed to confess to him my sexual past. These were things I had never spoken of to anyone until my confessor. And although I know I am forgiven, I am still deeply ashamed. The encounters I had left me with emotional scarring and pain. My question is an earnest plea for spiritual guidance on what to do when I have brought my sins to my confessor, but am unsure of whether or not I must also confess these to my spouse?

Q3: Hello Christopher and Wendy, thank you so much for your podcast! It has helped me greatly with understanding and accepting my body and God's plan for it. I have noticed that a lot of times sex is spoken of as a bad thing, for example one of the titles of Mary is “Mother Undefiled.” This really confuses me because if sex is a good thing why would it be referred to as being defiled? Could you please explain this to me?

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Resources mentioned this week:

The 2nd Annual FREE Theology of the Body Virtual Conference (April 30 - May 2, 2021)

Course Calendar

Theology of the Body at the Movies

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.