The Otis Advisory

The retiring President’s co-morbidity, Kamala, has sent out her new Donkey code word of the day to all media sheep.  Directions on the side of the box say, "You are all directed to work in the word “weird” along with your regular complaints about the Orange Man."  It seems that Oppo the Research Loving Clown turned in an expensive report about how going with code word WEIRD would be a good way to not have to explain any of the other stuff, like the economy, crime and the open border.  Just say “They’re WEIRD” and get up and leave.  In a related story, Kamala once thought that “close the border” meant making it so we can’t get out!  Wait, you’ve got it backwards.  Lock ‘em in and raise taxes is not what close the border means!  It’s the other way around.  Hear Podcast - Wash Hands

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China is not too happy with the Biden crime family right now.  Joey doesn’t carry the same punch as he had back when the Make China Great Again plan kicked off and Joey's cash started flowing.  "This was not the deal when we first hired you Joey," said China."  You’re not holding up your end of the bargain anymore.  What are we getting for our money from Biden Inc.?"  Next Wet Market outbreak is already on the calendar, and Joey won't be around to clean up the mess.  How will they sell all the heroin if Joey's not there to wave them in?  It’s pay back time and Joey’s coming in light!  In scientific terms that’s know as an Oh Crap Moment.  Joey is left with only three choices, but we can’t talk about one of them.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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All you really need is one good ear to do most of the important stuff.  You can have your other ear shot off in public and still get the big jobs done - like getting bad guys or closing the border or drilling for oil - you can do it all with just one good ear.  It’s OK - nobody’s paying attention to the one that’s not there.  Looked like a jumbo shrimp anyway!  Remember to use your Uncle Otis secret decoder ring to get all the hidden messages in this stupid bit.  Hear Podcast - Wash Hands

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Hunter likes to play parcheesi with he papa.  It relaxes them both before a big speech where everything’s on the line.  Joe looks at the Parcheesi board getting ready for his next move.  “Humm, this is harder than it looks,” thought Joey.  “Maybe I should just quit while I’m ahead and get ready for my sponge bath.”  Back when Joey’s “Hate America First Train” had just left Bankruptcy Station things were a lot more fun for the crime family.  Hunter’s laptop was still just a cheap fake, the Orange man was headed to trial for the nineth time and nobody had fallen up the stairs yet.  Then everything changed over at Lake Flaccid as Joey became shovel ready and Hunter turned into the skunk at the lawn party.  “Damn it Joey, I told you that no good son of yours was going to sink this whole deal,” said Jill.  Hear Podcast- Wash Hands

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Kamala is a lot like a Named Storm.  When the outer bands of VP Giggles make landfall, everything gets tossed around and jumbled up beyond recognition.  When Kamala blows in you know things are about to go sideways and your power is going out.  You’re about to get flooded in word salad surgery, which usually makes the sewer back up!  What a mess.  All storms have a dirty side where most of the nasty business happens, but it’s hard to tell with Super Storm Giggles since every snoot full brings out another torrential downpour of non-stop hoot. It's emotional incontinence!  The Kamala squall line is already forming offshore and about to threaten the interior of the country.  Makes for an inviting environment for those aggravating little Sandy Cortez tornados to spawn in the warm waters around the White House.  So watch where you step since this pant load isn’t going anywhere until we get a Big Orange sunrise!  Hear Podcast - Wash Hands  

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Maybe it's time to bring back Pom Poms on gym socks.  Those little fuzzy balls on the back of a girl’s socks told you she was fun, and probably drove a Charger.  What else do you need to know?  So where are the pom poms now?  Well they’re hard to find.  Gone the way of the buffalo.  That’s just not right!   With over 100 different genders now to pick from in the New America, Pom Poms on socks can be be for everybody – guys too. That's double the market!  Even the Army will buy them to show how waked up they are.  So two wrongs do make a right!  Who’s sorry now?  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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When Hunter was little his mama used to take him to the store for the Husky-size jeans, since everything young Hunter could get his hands on went in his mouth. “You’re overwhelming your outfit again – we’ll have to go up another size,” said mama.  Little Hunter was in Husky Jeans all the way through high school until one day he discovered the weight loss benefits of speed.  That's when he traded in those Huskey jeans for a new bag man uniform and started to market he papa to the highest bidder. “This is so easy,” thought Hunter, “and mama doesn’t have to know!”  Then, one day Hunter lost his laptop, and everything changed. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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No more Boy Scouts for you.  The campfire and whittling business is over. Time now to climb into a nice chiffon outfit and drive your edible electric car to the mall for some more Botox.  But Boy Scouts was fun while it lasted.  Passing around that can of shoestring potatoes with Worchester sauce was how boys learned to wipe their hands on their pants.  What are we supposed to do now?  With over a hundred different genders to pick from, what’s the point anymore!  It's another way to get boneless and skinless even faster in the New America.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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You’re a lot easier to control when you’re numb and dumb.  So enjoy some more morphine drip before sending 'Lil Whiskers out in the back yard to pick off another tank-full of watts from that electricity tree.  Yes, now you're powered by rainbows!   It's like when you're dead, you don't know you're dead.  Same thing happens when you're stupid.  So bring your arrest warrant to early voting and the little man will fill all that in for you.  Wait, is that the desert cart?    More Universal Foolishness from the Discount Think Tank.  Hear podcast ~ Wash hands.

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The roving bands of marauding youth now rioting outside the window have a long list of DEMANDS for you - a shopping list of what they need delivered up to Angry Village.  Remember, these are special children who don’t eat olive loaf or burnt weenie sandwich.  Hell no!  You need to think vegeterrible and gluten free, you pig.  So get a move on, rioting is hard work.  Why do you think Mexico now has a “Remain in America” program – probably until they can stand to look at us again. The denutification of America – Extreme Makeover Edition.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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