The Otis Advisory

In California, drinking toilet water is the next step in the transformation to full crazy.  “People are naturally moisture wicking,” said Governor Tapeworm, and we’re going to squeeze it out of ‘em to keep the pipes full.”  What a pant load!  Squeezing water out of the California sewer system can tell you a lot about the last guy - if you really want to know.  You can tell if he smoked menthols or liked jalapenos - probably not something you need to think about but there it is anyway!  Humm, single malt! Hear podcast ~ Wash hands

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If you’re at least 16, the Donkey tribe says you’re ready to vote. They're sure you’ll vote for them, so why not.   Whispering Joe and his dark passenger Giggles are getting desperate, so this might be the only move left.  But here’s the thing, voting at 16 is like playing mumbly peg with the ballot.  You never really know where the sharp end is going to land.  Remember, there’s a reason why glass blowers don’t inhale.  Just picture yourself voting at 16, scary isn’t it.   Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Your kitchen appliances listen to everything you say. They hear it all and nark on you to cyber command.  Mention buying a Lexus in front of the toaster and a salesman will be headed your way before you can snap out of it and come to your senses.  It knows when you are sleeping, it knows when you’re awake. Remember this is how Hunter got caught!  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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California Governor, the one who wears the wreck of the Exxon Valdez on his head, decided to pack up all the street people in San Fran, have them smell checked, and then shipped them out of town before heavy cats coming in for the big meeting got an eyeful of the homeless and their droppings.  “It’s like picking up your dirty socks and putting them in the hamper before guests arrive,” said the Governor, just before send everyone out for a weekend of glamping in Oakland.  Like Kamala said, we need to reduce population!  Oh no - better do a head count to see how many come back. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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It's Musk vs. Soros in our first Otis Speed Dating Debates.  Musk opens by explaining that the word Soros comes from the Flemish root word “sore” which means “make everyone miserable,” a life-long passion for young George that began when rooting for whatever bad guy Roy Rogers was up against that week on TV.  “More misery,” cried George, while while cheering for the bad guys to get let out of cowboy jail!  “They’re just oppressed victims of the system,” he would tell his little friends who were waiting to see for the bad guys to get another good punch in the nose from Roy Rogers. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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If you are still on the fence over Bidenomics, maybe this will shove you off.  If you’re being punished and have to live in New York, you'll get to pay eighteen bucks for a Big Mac, and that’s before global warming tax and diversity tax there to help with the guilt of just being you – you filthy pig!  It's the wonder of Bidenomics.  And when you’re living with a combustible mixture of ignorance and power, the effects can linger.  So HIDE YOUR STUFF!  Dig a hole in the back yard and bury your stuff in it!  Cover it up with dirt and burn the shovel. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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The ThighMaster lady who used to be on TV showing you how to tame those saddle bags is gone now.  So you’re on your own to squeeze and release.  When there's just too much groceries, ThighMaster has to work overtime trying to put it all back in the bag.  Never have so many spilled out so much!  You would think people would know when they’re NOT ready to model underpants on TV.  But there it is anyway.  So before you reach for those eatin’ pants again, ask the game warden what he’d recommend.  Maybe a lemon cleanse or something.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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The lady in the pant suit is done trying to convince you of anything.  That takes way too long, and she and Bill just don’t have that kind of time.  What we need now, says Mama, is Formal Deprogramming for your sorry behind so just give up and vote for the Donkey.  So we wanted to find out more about Formal Deprogramming and what’s so formal about it – you know, compared to regular deprogramming where they just put salt peter in your food.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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You’ve got your good AI and you’ve got your discount AI.  How do you know which one you’re getting?  Two tin cans and a piece of string? “Hello – can you hear me.” And the string has a knot in it!  That’s discount AI.  Never leave any AI alone and unsupervised.  It could register you to vote in Baltimore and you’d never know it.  Hell the people in Baltimore never knew it either.  So before you let AI in the front door, you better find out who’s been feeding it first.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Half of everywhere is infested with men.  So finding a husband isn’t that hard.  Finding the right one is.  As an international man of mystery I can help with that, since you’re gonna need to know what you’re dealing with.  Now remember, men are naturally stinky and have no visible means of support.  And they can sleep standing up.  Only a widow knows where her husband is at all times, so don’t expect too much at first.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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