The Otis Advisory

The salty scholars of the D'Otis Discount Think Tank & Bait Camp deliver this profile in courage on The Modern Man.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Yes, there are aliens from outer space, wherever that is, and we have a whole warehouse full of them.  Didn’t you expect this would be a bigger deal?  But nobody cares. "Outer space – not my problem!  I gotta get my nails done!"  Some guy who looks like a big oyster comes out, you would think HR wants to get involved.  You want diversity, hell, here it is right here!  Ancient Southern philosopher Testicleese joins Otis in this new Advisory.   Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Everybody knows how much fun it is licking the top of a nine-volt battery.  Kids would line up after school and pass around a fresh Eveready to see who could hold out the longest.  My friend ShortStack always won since he would just swallow one whole and wash it down with some water for a good connection.  Game over.  Nobody ever messed with ShortStack after that.  Fast forward to the Hunter Laptop.  It's been passed around too for everybody to have a lick.  Shocking!  See what happens next!   Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Nothing is harder to explain than coming home with glitter stuck all over you.  “Where have you been this time Uncle Otis?” What if you were just picking out the perfect thank you card for her and the glitter came off and got into everything.  Party of Two becomes "First Available."  It gets worse in a swing state.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Don’t pay when you go to the store.  Save your money.  When you’re through shopping just say, “no thanks, I’m good” and walk with whatever you want.  It’s all free - limit $1,000 per visit though, just to keep it fair.  You’ll say, “put it on the insurance tab” as you smile and head for the parking lot.  That’s about it.  Remind the store clerk that those cash registers are just there for decoration.  “Don’t stop for that red light, equity will pay your ticket!”  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Next time you're in Target, ask the lady to show you where they keep the Magic Johnson display – now you see it, now you don’t.  Probably over with the shrunken heads next to the Well of Souls.  This might be what happens when you’re too woke to sleep and the sewer backs up!   But, for now, it might be a good time to put the inflatable ape up on top of the building to give people something else to think about.  Change the mood until the swelling goes down.   Hear Podcast.  Wash Hands.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Now you see it – now you don’t.  It’s a miracle!  Those special Satan drawers they sell at Target might hurt a bit pulling on, but the fashion statement you’ll make is immeasurable.  If you like to keep your business in a junk drawer just to the south, this is definitely for you.  We control the horizontal, but you control the vertical.  And you’ll stay like that until somebody comes around to check you for worms.  Hear this special Magic Johnson Advisory - then wash hands, twice.  

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This just in from Otis Special Ops on the continuing de-nutification of Harry, formally known as Prince.  It all came to a head in Nueva York when Harry must have broke a nail at the big dance and, along with his co-morbidity Megan suddenly left in a Checker Manhattan that smelled like Rat Pizza.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever wonder what’s with those trucks with the word FISH written on the side!  That’s all it says – just FISH.  Makes you wonder, is it really fish or what are they hiding in there?  Some write FISH on their truck to keep you from being too interested and maybe just leave them  alone.  Well, that’s how the white house works.  Somebody just wrote FISH on the white house front door and locked the place up until after the election.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In the time before filtered water, there was probably one special day when you decided to stop writing bad checks to try to help your credit score.  Well that was a waste of time.  Now they’ve changed all that. Today, the more you suck the less you pay!  That’s right.  Your mortgage payment actually gets lower when your credit score is terrible!  It’s a miracle - like a vacation from thinking right.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.