Now you see it – now you don’t.  It’s a miracle!  Those special Satan drawers they sell at Target might hurt a bit pulling on, but the fashion statement you’ll make is immeasurable.  If you like to keep your business in a junk drawer just to the south, this is definitely for you.  We control the horizontal, but you control the vertical.  And you’ll stay like that until somebody comes around to check you for worms.  Hear this special Magic Johnson Advisory - then wash hands, twice.  

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This just in from Otis Special Ops on the continuing de-nutification of Harry, formally known as Prince.  It all came to a head in Nueva York when Harry must have broke a nail at the big dance and, along with his co-morbidity Megan suddenly left in a Checker Manhattan that smelled like Rat Pizza.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Ever wonder what’s with those trucks with the word FISH written on the side!  That’s all it says – just FISH.  Makes you wonder, is it really fish or what are they hiding in there?  Some write FISH on their truck to keep you from being too interested and maybe just leave them  alone.  Well, that’s how the white house works.  Somebody just wrote FISH on the white house front door and locked the place up until after the election.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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In the time before filtered water, there was probably one special day when you decided to stop writing bad checks to try to help your credit score.  Well that was a waste of time.  Now they’ve changed all that. Today, the more you suck the less you pay!  That’s right.  Your mortgage payment actually gets lower when your credit score is terrible!  It’s a miracle - like a vacation from thinking right.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Are you broke and can’t afford your own AI?   There is a substitute - try Memory Foam, it’s like A.I. but a lot cheaper.  Memory foam is like a natural diuretic for the shovel ready.  Helps unstick your mind and get back in play.  If you can’t remember the girl’s name and she’s not answering to Giddyap or Lil’ Whiskers, you may need some of this memory help.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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If you think clowns are scary, you should see what's on a can of Bud Light.  Some bed wetter who never got a pajama-gram and still hasn’t gotten over it is now the new spokes-drunk for Bud Light - the king of near beer.  It's an awful mess.  Otis has the back story.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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in the New America, everyone will have an AI personal assistant to hand to handle the little things, like writing thank you notes.  back when Pluto was a planet and all the and all the cute girls drove Chargers we didn't have it this good.  Otis and the salty scholars from the Bait camp Think Tank explain in this fresh Otis Advisory.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands.

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Now that we know men can get pregnant, some are beginning to notice how that’s just the easy part. The real problem comes later, at birth.  Doctors have looked at the math down there and tried to solve for X.  Definitely a tight fit.  Recommending next time to just stick to cross dressing, like switching from Italian to Greek.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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“Help, help, I’m gender-neutral Barbie and look, there’s nothing under the hood!  Who made me like this?  Then, Gender Neutral Barbie met Popeye the Sailor Man – they shared a toy box together.  Popeye helped clear away the fog when he whipped out his brand statement, “I am what I am!” Hear how Barbie finally did update her private’s policy thanks to Popeye the Sailor Man!   Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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In California, chewing is an act of violence and being replaced with the personal blender.  But, if you move to Syracuse you can get paid not to shoot people. You can even automate this and send in your victim list on the internet.  Somebody’ll get back to you with a batch bid on what you could make by not killing the whole bunch as laid out by Governor Soros.  Hear  Podcast ~ Wash Hands.  

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