The Otis Advisory

Are you broke and can’t afford your own AI?   There is a substitute - try Memory Foam, it’s like A.I. but a lot cheaper.  Memory foam is like a natural diuretic for the shovel ready.  Helps unstick your mind and get back in play.  If you can’t remember the girl’s name and she’s not answering to Giddyap or Lil’ Whiskers, you may need some of this memory help.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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If you think clowns are scary, you should see what's on a can of Bud Light.  Some bed wetter who never got a pajama-gram and still hasn’t gotten over it is now the new spokes-drunk for Bud Light - the king of near beer.  It's an awful mess.  Otis has the back story.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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in the New America, everyone will have an AI personal assistant to hand to handle the little things, like writing thank you notes.  back when Pluto was a planet and all the and all the cute girls drove Chargers we didn't have it this good.  Otis and the salty scholars from the Bait camp Think Tank explain in this fresh Otis Advisory.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands.

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Now that we know men can get pregnant, some are beginning to notice how that’s just the easy part. The real problem comes later, at birth.  Doctors have looked at the math down there and tried to solve for X.  Definitely a tight fit.  Recommending next time to just stick to cross dressing, like switching from Italian to Greek.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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“Help, help, I’m gender-neutral Barbie and look, there’s nothing under the hood!  Who made me like this?  Then, Gender Neutral Barbie met Popeye the Sailor Man – they shared a toy box together.  Popeye helped clear away the fog when he whipped out his brand statement, “I am what I am!” Hear how Barbie finally did update her private’s policy thanks to Popeye the Sailor Man!   Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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In California, chewing is an act of violence and being replaced with the personal blender.  But, if you move to Syracuse you can get paid not to shoot people. You can even automate this and send in your victim list on the internet.  Somebody’ll get back to you with a batch bid on what you could make by not killing the whole bunch as laid out by Governor Soros.  Hear  Podcast ~ Wash Hands.  

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Short on cash, start charging to take surveys!  Why not? You’re giving up valuable drinking time every time you stop and answer 10 questions about your phone, chat or email experience with Heather from Account Services.  Commander Otis has step-by-step directions from the Discount Think Tank & Bait Camp.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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You know things are tense when both warring tribes have to have their own pillow guy. Donkey people are first to tell you they’re not sleeping on any Republican pillow.  “Get that out of my face,” said one teen aged expert.  But be careful, that Green Donkey pillow can sense any accidental attempt at prayer and instantly flip over on you and cover your face to smother out un-hip behavior. That’s so Raven – but it’s how things get done in Donkey Park.   Commander Otis explains.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands.

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It used to be easy to spot the cool kids.  They could ride bikes without holding the handlebars and probably had a shrunken head hanging from their rear-view mirror – might have picked it up from the local surf shop or met up with Downtown Brown after school who fixed ‘em up with one they took off a local tourist around south jetties (at the wrong time) - like being mugged by a neurosurgeon.  There's more to the story. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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It’s fun to tease artificial intelligence by making it talk about things that can’t be explained – like Texas Hockey or All-Electric NASCAR, or how it is that Hunter is still married.  Or, the thing about putting little Suzie on the bus to school and she comes home as Buck Owens.  Otis and the Salty Scholars explain.  Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands.

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